You’ve given this subject a LOT of thought, and that’s commendable.
But I’ve had the luxury, in my life, of taking the opposite tack and have largely ignored the question altogether.
I’m not at all interested in dating or marrying a virgin, should I ever find myself again on the prowl at this late stage of my life. But that’s just about the only pre-ordained prejudice I would bring to the table. I don’t at all value monogamy for it own sake. And I don’t expect it in a marriage. In two marriages I never experienced it from either wife nor did I want to.
I believe that sexual monogamy is an artificial construct of our culture and organized religion. I don’t believe for an instant that it has any fundamental connection to human sexuality.
Your mileage may vary, I’m not sure exactly where you come down on the subject.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
As a man, i have had just 8 sexual partners besides my wife. I don't do casual sex.. Male or female, i see both the same if the have had dozens or more sexual partners. Say hypothetically the person was 25 and had over 100.. When i was 25 i would have steered clear.. Having a ton of sex partners even in their late thirties is an indicator that they are not capable of pair bonding, and are far more likely to cheat if they are sexually frustrated, THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN BOTH.. and im not just pulling this out of my butt, every single woman who had dozens of sexual partners, either are single mothers, or are serial cheaters..
2
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
every single woman who had dozens of sexual partners, who i have been associated with, either are single mothers, or are serial cheaters..
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
"He was just one of those guys who wanted to get some." No.
You lead him to believe you were saving yourself for marriage, so that the sex you would experience would be exclusive. After learning that this was not the case, he felt cheated on.
Yes, both men and women with a high body count are equally as judge-able, because it shows a lack of commitment, a lack of self-respect and the pursuit of pleasure over a meaningful connection. Men don't automatically respect other men who sleep around, this perception is perpetuated by mainstream media in Films, Rap, etc. It's not the prevailing opinion, especially amongst those who are respectable.
Personally I don't think it should matter and I don't like the double standard. I could go into a long discussion about this but I don't have the time right now. You have to understand that I am old school I was a teenager in the 70s the 80s and 90s was my time and even though I never counted and I am no Jean Simmons but I am in the few hundreds and believe it or not I can remember every one of them some married and some were friends and the rest were total strangers. I used to get mad at guys who put down the girls who supposedly have been with a few guys and I have even punched out a few of them. I have found that some girls are embarrassed and some don't care and some are so ashamed of what they have done (which they shouldn't ) But definitely the double standard sucks
I have had quite a few sex partners, two before I got married, then my now husband John, then we opened up our marriage and did mostly MFM's but quite a few swaps, I don't think of myself as a slut, I just like different sex partners,
Being firmly in the feeling like I've missed out by not being anyone's choice this might sound strange, but I'm not particularly bothered by 'body count'. At this point I figure anyone who hasn't been stuck in the same position is going to have more than my 0, so why let it bother me.
That being said, I'm not then going to then wait for marriage to get physical as it's as important a part of a relationship as any other part of the connection and chemistry.
The complaint about the double standard between men and women, this smells like cope for having numerous partners.
"We never actually had sex, we were going to wait until we were married as a wedding night gift to each other." This is an example of how out of touch you are, you expected a man to wait for what others never had to? Think about from his position rather than "oh woe is me, I have received numerous phalluses, it ain't easy you know? It's hard" demanding this particular guy to wait until marriage shows that you lack attraction to him even if you feel like it doesn't. Out of curiosity, why did he have to wait?
I agree with "don't ask, don't tell" but your actions towards someone you felt like you were "meant for" are very strange.
We never talked about how many sexual partners either of us had. It never came up, I never thought it mattered and he never asked. It was his idea to wait until marriage, I agreed. Mainly cause when I'd sleep with a guy they would eventually leave.
It should of came up before we were engaged, which is why it is now a point to always bring it up well before that point.
What I didn't know was he had virtually no sexual experience at the time, I thought he had some... but he was virtually none. That is why it bothered him when he found out.
Lots of guy think I should of just given it to him and if he left, oh well. They also will try to say he would not have left after he got some, but we'll never know now.
I almost did give in and sleep with him, but I just felt he would leave like all the others had once he got that. He got kind of obsessed about sex and stuff even before then. Part of me wishes I had, then if he left, I could say oh well. Except I really wanted him to stay and not leave.
Looking back, I think it was over soon as that came out. No matter what I did, there would of been nothing I could of done. Sleeping with him would of eventually ended, based on how he changed and how things changed.
It was his idea to wait, he wanted to. I was okay with that, it is what he wanted. I wanted him to not leave, no matter what and did not want to do anything that would cause him to leave.
'The complaint about the double standard between men and women, this smells like cope for having numerous partners.' It sure does, but let's not act as if it isn't there, women can be whatever they want nowadays but if it's promiscuous it's shameful, if a guy is, it's 'good on him.
I think it matters, but only if it is a problem to one or the other.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who was way higher than me, but I also wouldn't want someone who is way lower.
Both extremes seems like they could lead to straying, the higher one... falling back into old habits. The lower one feeling cheated out of not having as much fun.
I agree with the being balanced is best, but once again ONLY if if matters to the couple. If neither cares, not a problem.
Depends on the situation. If I am looking for a night of fun and will dump her the next day I will wear a raincoat and have little regard for her body count. If however, I am looking for someone special I honestly don't want a high body count. In other words, I don't want to be in a relationship where it simply "is my turn"!
I had sex with an ecort many time with her but I onley want to have 2 my first time and when I get married but I don't know I want to tell the girl I married what I did it feel so wrong for so long. she gave me crabs and I can tell people what to do anymore. I just want to tell who I end up with next and see if they are ok to. maybe I can get luck and finde a nice girl that had a guy ecort so she understand. I was hopeing to lose my thing to and older women. I just feel bad about how mess up it was and is. guy want 3 way. but I just want good sex with one person some day.
I'm on the other side of the fence on this issue. Who you have had sexual relations with, (I truly DO hate the term, "slept with"), should make no difference unless you have acquired an STD. I'm open to most sexual activities, even at my advanced age. But I don't do butt stuff, (pun intended). I don't, nor have I ever, "slept around", but I have had my share of sexual partners since I got my first blowjob at the age of 10.
Women have the same sexual desires as men, generally speaking. Who you allow penetrating your vagina is entirely up to you, as long as you aren't carrying an STD.
The number of people men or women have sex with is up to them.
But a lock job is to only be opened by one key. Because they are trying to protect something. But what is a vagina supposed to protect? Virginity? That has no logical value.
THANK YOU. I am a virgin and women and men yelled at me for saying I didn't wanna be with a man with over 20 bodies. I want someone to be excited about learning new things with me, I don't want to be number 21 on their list of people theyve had sex with lmao.
@TrinityJadez You said something there that resonated with my memory. My first time was done with a girl who also was a first timer. And let me tell you, It was a complete disaster and total embarrassment, but you know what, we had some serious laughs after that and we both got Perfect emotional attachments that we wouldn't want to give up for anything in this world. Those were some priceless memories right there for both of us, even though it was a complete failure.
@GreenLanternI0I That is pretty much most my family, wedding night first time bumbles but extremely emotional bonding as they grew and learned together. Could be why none of them have ever been divorced.
double standards are a good thing. men and women are different and we have different standards for each.
if a man sleeps with 10 women in a day he is either a genius, a billionare, or a wizard
if a woman sleeps with 10 men a day she is either a prostitute. a drug addict. or mentally ill
that's the facts of life. you're not entitled to equality and you never should be and its not biologically possible for us to treat you equally... as you are different.
men want more sex than women do. women are designed to not want sex with every man... this is biology. this is life. if she does have sex with that many men something is wrong with her.
Me, I never dated anyone for a while and I tend to keep it that way.
Hell, most people that brag about their number of sexual partners that I knew, I immediately assumed that they're joking, but you never know. Most people are cocky and tend to lie until they're dating you and they're real honest to you if you asked a certain question like that.
So here's the deal With the number of sexual partners The more people you've been with The greater the chance of a STD And it gives someone a good idea If they are marriage material And most importantly here's a saying "Your past will become the Future"
No, it absolutely doesn't matter as long as the person doesn't have an STD. I didn't want to even know how many my ex-wife had been with. Eventually she got me to tell her, but it was against my will. There is no number she could have said that would make me happy, so better to not know at all.
I think the reason men sleep with a lot women is due to the fact they can’t be pregnant. That’s y women are careful and can’t sleep around with anyone.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
123Opinion
You’ve given this subject a LOT of thought, and that’s commendable.
But I’ve had the luxury, in my life, of taking the opposite tack and have largely ignored the question altogether.
I’m not at all interested in dating or marrying a virgin, should I ever find myself again on the prowl at this late stage of my life. But that’s just about the only pre-ordained prejudice I would bring to the table. I don’t at all value monogamy for it own sake. And I don’t expect it in a marriage. In two marriages I never experienced it from either wife nor did I want to.
I believe that sexual monogamy is an artificial construct of our culture and organized religion. I don’t believe for an instant that it has any fundamental connection to human sexuality.
Your mileage may vary, I’m not sure exactly where you come down on the subject.
As a man, i have had just 8 sexual partners besides my wife. I don't do casual sex.. Male or female, i see both the same if the have had dozens or more sexual partners. Say hypothetically the person was 25 and had over 100.. When i was 25 i would have steered clear.. Having a ton of sex partners even in their late thirties is an indicator that they are not capable of pair bonding, and are far more likely to cheat if they are sexually frustrated, THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN BOTH.. and im not just pulling this out of my butt, every single woman who had dozens of sexual partners, either are single mothers, or are serial cheaters..
every single woman who had dozens of sexual partners, who i have been associated with, either are single mothers, or are serial cheaters..
"He was just one of those guys who wanted to get some."
No.
You lead him to believe you were saving yourself for marriage, so that the sex you would experience would be exclusive. After learning that this was not the case, he felt cheated on.
Yes, both men and women with a high body count are equally as judge-able, because it shows a lack of commitment, a lack of self-respect and the pursuit of pleasure over a meaningful connection. Men don't automatically respect other men who sleep around, this perception is perpetuated by mainstream media in Films, Rap, etc. It's not the prevailing opinion, especially amongst those who are respectable.
Personally I don't think it should matter and I don't like the double standard. I could go into a long discussion about this but I don't have the time right now. You have to understand that I am old school I was a teenager in the 70s the 80s and 90s was my time and even though I never counted and I am no Jean Simmons but I am in the few hundreds and believe it or not I can remember every one of them some married and some were friends and the rest were total strangers. I used to get mad at guys who put down the girls who supposedly have been with a few guys and I have even punched out a few of them. I have found that some girls are embarrassed and some don't care and some are so ashamed of what they have done (which they shouldn't ) But definitely the double standard sucks
I have had quite a few sex partners, two before I got married, then my now husband John, then we opened up our marriage and did mostly MFM's but quite a few swaps,
I don't think of myself as a slut, I just like different sex partners,
@weysally Ntmy, I think you're an amazing person
Being firmly in the feeling like I've missed out by not being anyone's choice this might sound strange, but I'm not particularly bothered by 'body count'. At this point I figure anyone who hasn't been stuck in the same position is going to have more than my 0, so why let it bother me.
That being said, I'm not then going to then wait for marriage to get physical as it's as important a part of a relationship as any other part of the connection and chemistry.
tl;dr yes
The complaint about the double standard between men and women, this smells like cope for having numerous partners.
"We never actually had sex, we were going to wait until we were married as a wedding night gift to each other." This is an example of how out of touch you are, you expected a man to wait for what others never had to? Think about from his position rather than "oh woe is me, I have received numerous phalluses, it ain't easy you know? It's hard" demanding this particular guy to wait until marriage shows that you lack attraction to him even if you feel like it doesn't. Out of curiosity, why did he have to wait?
I agree with "don't ask, don't tell" but your actions towards someone you felt like you were "meant for" are very strange.
We never talked about how many sexual partners either of us had. It never came up, I never thought it mattered and he never asked. It was his idea to wait until marriage, I agreed. Mainly cause when I'd sleep with a guy they would eventually leave.
It should of came up before we were engaged, which is why it is now a point to always bring it up well before that point.
What I didn't know was he had virtually no sexual experience at the time, I thought he had some... but he was virtually none. That is why it bothered him when he found out.
Lots of guy think I should of just given it to him and if he left, oh well. They also will try to say he would not have left after he got some, but we'll never know now.
I almost did give in and sleep with him, but I just felt he would leave like all the others had once he got that. He got kind of obsessed about sex and stuff even before then. Part of me wishes I had, then if he left, I could say oh well. Except I really wanted him to stay and not leave.
Looking back, I think it was over soon as that came out. No matter what I did, there would of been nothing I could of done. Sleeping with him would of eventually ended, based on how he changed and how things changed.
You were afraid that prior to the agreement to marriage that he would sleep with you and then leave eventually? This was why you agreed?
It was his idea to wait, he wanted to. I was okay with that, it is what he wanted. I wanted him to not leave, no matter what and did not want to do anything that would cause him to leave.
Nice abandonment issues
'The complaint about the double standard between men and women, this smells like cope for having numerous partners.' It sure does, but let's not act as if it isn't there, women can be whatever they want nowadays but if it's promiscuous it's shameful, if a guy is, it's 'good on him.
Okay if you dont like the double standard then slut shame guys idc
I think it matters, but only if it is a problem to one or the other.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who was way higher than me, but I also wouldn't want someone who is way lower.
Both extremes seems like they could lead to straying, the higher one... falling back into old habits. The lower one feeling cheated out of not having as much fun.
I agree with the being balanced is best, but once again ONLY if if matters to the couple. If neither cares, not a problem.
Depends on the situation. If I am looking for a night of fun and will dump her the next day I will wear a raincoat and have little regard for her body count. If however, I am looking for someone special I honestly don't want a high body count. In other words, I don't want to be in a relationship where it simply "is my turn"!
I had sex with an ecort many time with her but I onley want to have 2 my first time and when I get married but I don't know I want to tell the girl I married what I did it feel so wrong for so long. she gave me crabs and I can tell people what to do anymore. I just want to tell who I end up with next and see if they are ok to. maybe I can get luck and finde a nice girl that had a guy ecort so she understand. I was hopeing to lose my thing to and older women. I just feel bad about how mess up it was and is. guy want 3 way. but I just want good sex with one person some day.
I'm on the other side of the fence on this issue. Who you have had sexual relations with, (I truly DO hate the term, "slept with"), should make no difference unless you have acquired an STD. I'm open to most sexual activities, even at my advanced age. But I don't do butt stuff, (pun intended). I don't, nor have I ever, "slept around", but I have had my share of sexual partners since I got my first blowjob at the age of 10.
Women have the same sexual desires as men, generally speaking. Who you allow penetrating your vagina is entirely up to you, as long as you aren't carrying an STD.
The number of people men or women have sex with is up to them.
I don't care what others think or say, for me it matters. And I have no problem if it matters to a guy, it's reasonable.
Double standard is certainly there and it should be.
Men and women have different roles.
Men are expected to act like men.
Confident, assertive, caring, protective, charming, ambitious.
Women are expected to act like women.
Feminine, submissive, loyal/pure, fit.
Men don't wan't a hoe. Women don't wan't a guy with a sexy purse and a funny walk.
Double standards? Yes.
Funny also how women often wan't guys to make more than them, while expect these guys to date them.
Women always select guys on height and get super salty when guys talk about womans fat rolls.
Double standards are everywhere, we are different and have different views/wishes and always will be.
A master key vs a master lock 😗
But a lock job is to only be opened by one key. Because they are trying to protect something. But what is a vagina supposed to protect? Virginity? That has no logical value.
Absolutely. If she had more than 10 I'm not interested at her whatsoever, same concept should apply to man, if he had more than 10 he is no good.
THANK YOU. I am a virgin and women and men yelled at me for saying I didn't wanna be with a man with over 20 bodies. I want someone to be excited about learning new things with me, I don't want to be number 21 on their list of people theyve had sex with lmao.
@TrinityJadez The guy who wanted to be with me wanted to put me at 9th number so I couldn't accept him lol
@TrinityJadez You said something there that resonated with my memory. My first time was done with a girl who also was a first timer. And let me tell you, It was a complete disaster and total embarrassment, but you know what, we had some serious laughs after that and we both got Perfect emotional attachments that we wouldn't want to give up for anything in this world. Those were some priceless memories right there for both of us, even though it was a complete failure.
@GreenLanternI0I That is pretty much most my family, wedding night first time bumbles but extremely emotional bonding as they grew and learned together. Could be why none of them have ever been divorced.
double standards are a good thing. men and women are different and we have different standards for each.
if a man sleeps with 10 women in a day he is either a genius, a billionare, or a wizard
if a woman sleeps with 10 men a day she is either a prostitute. a drug addict. or mentally ill
that's the facts of life. you're not entitled to equality and you never should be and its not biologically possible for us to treat you equally... as you are different.
men want more sex than women do. women are designed to not want sex with every man... this is biology. this is life. if she does have sex with that many men something is wrong with her.
Yes it metters.
The more sexual partners one has the less meaningful sex is to them.
That really could be said about anything though.
It depends.
Me, I never dated anyone for a while and I tend to keep it that way.
Hell, most people that brag about their number of sexual partners that I knew, I immediately assumed that they're joking, but you never know. Most people are cocky and tend to lie until they're dating you and they're real honest to you if you asked a certain question like that.
So here's the deal
With the number of sexual partners
The more people you've been with
The greater the chance of a STD
And it gives someone a good idea
If they are marriage material
And most importantly here's a saying
"Your past will become the Future"
No, it absolutely doesn't matter as long as the person doesn't have an STD. I didn't want to even know how many my ex-wife had been with. Eventually she got me to tell her, but it was against my will. There is no number she could have said that would make me happy, so better to not know at all.
I think the reason men sleep with a lot women is due to the fact they can’t be pregnant. That’s y women are careful and can’t sleep around with anyone.