I was friendzoned for the first time by a guy. I took it sooo personal. I thought I was ugly, not good enough, rejection… him being nice.. he told me that none of that was true. He just isn’t ready for a relationship right now bc of work. I didn’t believe him
but now that he passed his exam to be a firefighter he’s coming around
When women does that to me, and comes back around... well I think sex first and maybe a relationship later. Because Essentially I was not good enough, but now that "you" have had time to get yourself right I am back on the menu. Okay thats fine, I like desert.
The guy is interested. The girl isn't. Instead of accepting it the guy tries to hang on, hoping she will have an awakening instead of recognizing that there are billions of other women out there.
Been in the friend zone but gladly I didn't have feelings for my friend. I have friend zoned a girl I wasn't attracted to but she didn't take it to well. She wanted me to go her prom in high school for homecoming and had asked me out of the blue Took me by surprised for sure and the girl wasn't even attractive in my eyes.
You're not romantically desirable to her, but you're good enough as a friend and a future psychologist when she does find a man of her own, he treats her like crap, and she'll inevitably come to you for guidance and that's it.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
Girls get with guys who they don’t know much more often than friends they’ve known for a while. Best chance to get a girl is when you don’t really know them but somehow make them comfortable enough to date you.
Means she rather much share the spice cabinets with you than be placed into the cabinet 🥰
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
I agree with all that.
Just to add I would mention 'Simp' behaviour.
As most women like to keep some men in 'friend zone', when they offer a lot of help or pay for dinners or even buy gifts, with anything in return, from her. He would be doing it with intent to get out of 'friend zone', but it will never happen this way or ever as she does not see him that way, but love the attention...
I think it's perfectly reasonable for a man and a women to have a friendship, but if you do catch feelings that you can't get rid of it's probably not a bad idea to bail.
The only thing a woman has to bring to any relationship Is her vagina. If you aren't fucking her, there is 0 reason to have any non-related female in your life. Except maybe as the most distant of acquaintances.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
Meh. Maybe i should change my Gender to diverse since i can distinct between female friends (just friends, irrelevant of attraction) and romantic attraction. I've never been in the "friendzone" y'all keep putting yourselves into.
@nickaboy I have one girl who I have a huge crush on. It's hard to be just friends with her. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing to have a few dozen female friends.
@rabbitzzz As long as you understand that no matter how good of a friend you are, and no matter what you do for in terms of the friendship... its like 100 to 1 it will every be romantic. So set boundaries for yourself.
Yup, it happens... but men only do it wimen they are not romantically attracted to just like women do. But if you're attracted to him as a women, then you should bail. Because men are 10 times more likely to exploit the relationship for sex, even if they are not attracted to her in any type of romantic way. If you're good with that then offer a friends with benefits arrangement.
Oh God! Why are they like that and how do they do that without any romantic attraction or interest? I wouldn’t be able to do that. And I know I need to give up and move on but it’s hard. I think it’s my issue with getting attached
Also happens when both parties are too timid to make a move and end up orbiting each other to the point they’re convinced the other doesn’t have an interest in them.
Pretty easily; a guy and girl share a friend group, share interests, and both enjoy hanging out. But neither really make the first move, because they’re worried that if they get rejected they’ll lose what friendship they have. And as the relationship goes on, they assume the lack of initiative from the other person is proof that there is no interest; so they decide for the sake of the friendship to not reveal their feelings.
Guys can be good listeners because they don’t expect much subtly most of the time. But they can get pretty drained too if you just use them as an emotional anchor. Really, if you’re primary concern for having guy friends is “what can it do for me”, then you probably are better off without.
It’s not that I have selfish desires with them. It seems like there’s no point for me because it’s really hard and painful for me. I get attached and catch feelings too easily
I’m always the one that ends up hurt because of it. Like I’ve had a guy friend that was my “best friend” who I had feelings for, for a while and then after some time when everything was good or at least seemed like it, we weren’t talking about it anymore and we were supposed to hangout without a frenemy there, he flaked and didn’t respond to me for a couple days and then he got mad and ended up blocking me on messenger because I got mad about him doing that. He didn’t apologize or say “sorry I can’t come” or anything. And now with one of the couple of guy friends I have, he’s known since May that I’ve had feelings for quite a while and he never said anything about it like yes or no but there was a lot of mixed signals. Long story short, when I told him “you don’t like me that way and feel the same” on the phone, he said “nope” and then I was like “well then how come you lead me on?” And we both were mad. The mixed signals have been better since. And after I first told him about my feelings for him, we had sex one time and I couldn’t do it anymore after
Uncertainty sucks in any relationship, and unfortunately communication is always possible if the other person refuses to play. But that kind of pain can happen in any sort of intimate relationship. If you find it happening repeatedly though you may want to try exploring new hobbies or friend groups. Or approach relationships with platonic intent first rather than seeing them as potentially intimate ones. It can help you from building people up into things they aren’t, and becoming attached to fantasies that aren’t real.
It happens because men don't have the same way to think about sex they do like women have. Men are constantly horny which means they will have sex with any woman who looks halfway okay. A man will have sex with a 4 in looks but only because he's horny. If we weren't perpetually horny women wouldn't be able to do the shit they do nowadays and get away with it by being protected from white knights and simps.
A woman will only want to have sex with a guy who's, rich, has muscles or what not. Everything that puts him above other men so he stands out because that means he can take care of you or something.
Women don't have the same sex drive. If you look half decent as a woman you can ask a man directly if he wants to have sex and he will do it seconds later with you. That rarely works the other way around and only if you are a 10 in everything as a man and even there its rather rare to happen.
But remember. A man will have sex with you, doesn't mean he wants to have anything to do with you. Which is why casual sex and hookup culture is destroying women's mental health so much.
Men have something called "post nut clarity" which means if they had sex with someone crazy or who is not able to be a good mother and they realize it they bail the hell out of it.
A man will want to have a good mother to his children and if he's lucky he gets to have something he can empty his lust inside while the one he cares so much about takes care of the children he has with her. That's the reason why harems exist in some places. One is the leading female who has the children while the others are mostly just sex objects for the man.
@Mess96. For me, just having women friends isn't worth the time and effort. When ever I met a women I make it clear, I am not just looking for a friendship. Sure friendship is an element of the dating dynamic and I want that... but I make my intentions for more known.
Womensay they want sincerity, honesty, openness and commitment... until they get honestly, sincerity, openess, while failing to releaize commitment comes at a cost. Like @GreatBigCircles said they orbit each other, but none makes the move to commit. Why? Because to be in a committed relationship means change, willingness to change and willingness to make changes. Committed relationships means you're both working together, to build toward a future together. For most men are physical creatures, we desire physical in order to fully commitment emotionally. Women want emotional commitment without risk. So who's going commitment first?
More times then not at the first bump in the road, one or other, if not both retreat back into themselves. This is were it all falls apart and frustration and angry enters.
Why do we do this? Because we hang on to failure so hard we can't recognize sucess when we achieve it. So instead of doubling down on the commitment, we retreat and hopes the other person makes the next move, while we pretent our feelings are more relevant and must be catered to. So we can feel safe, being ourselves, but what about the other person? How are they trying work together to always for us to retain ourselves, but respect who they are? And that is not how healthy relationships work. But if yiy have never be in a healthy relationship you're not going to ever come to that realization, so around and around we got. Orbiting each other with every tryely connecting, until we collid one day like two testrail masses and relationship explodes into a fireball of devastating portions. Or we lose interest and drift off into space.
Yeah I think and feel like it’s too complicated to be friends with the opposite sex. I don’t know why my guy friends like having me as a friend but it’s too complicated
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
37Opinion
I was friendzoned for the first time by a guy. I took it sooo personal. I thought I was ugly, not good enough, rejection… him being nice.. he told me that none of that was true. He just isn’t ready for a relationship right now bc of work. I didn’t believe him
but now that he passed his exam to be a firefighter he’s coming around
it really depends on the situation
When women does that to me, and comes back around... well I think sex first and maybe a relationship later. Because Essentially I was not good enough, but now that "you" have had time to get yourself right I am back on the menu. Okay thats fine, I like desert.
The guy is interested. The girl isn't. Instead of accepting it the guy tries to hang on, hoping she will have an awakening instead of recognizing that there are billions of other women out there.
Been in the friend zone but gladly I didn't have feelings for my friend. I have friend zoned a girl I wasn't attracted to but she didn't take it to well. She wanted me to go her prom in high school for homecoming and had asked me out of the blue Took me by surprised for sure and the girl wasn't even attractive in my eyes.
You're not romantically desirable to her, but you're good enough as a friend and a future psychologist when she does find a man of her own, he treats her like crap, and she'll inevitably come to you for guidance and that's it.
Girls get with guys who they don’t know much more often than friends they’ve known for a while. Best chance to get a girl is when you don’t really know them but somehow make them comfortable enough to date you.
Means she rather much share the spice cabinets with you than be placed into the cabinet 🥰
I agree with all that.
Just to add I would mention 'Simp' behaviour.
As most women like to keep some men in 'friend zone', when they offer a lot of help or pay for dinners or even buy gifts, with anything in return, from her. He would be doing it with intent to get out of 'friend zone', but it will never happen this way or ever as she does not see him that way, but love the attention...
Try, don't work? Move on. Life is too short to wait on 1 woman out of billions.
If a man says "I just want to be friends" that means he isn't sexually attracted to you. Same with a woman.
I think it's perfectly reasonable for a man and a women to have a friendship, but if you do catch feelings that you can't get rid of it's probably not a bad idea to bail.
The only thing a woman has to bring to any relationship Is her vagina. If you aren't fucking her, there is 0 reason to have any non-related female in your life. Except maybe as the most distant of acquaintances.
Meh. Maybe i should change my Gender to diverse since i can distinct between female friends (just friends, irrelevant of attraction) and romantic attraction. I've never been in the "friendzone" y'all keep putting yourselves into.
'Friend Zone' is better than no zone.
That's is exactly my point, for some its better then nothing.
Trust me , you will stop thinking this very soon
@nickaboy I think everyone comes around to it on their own terms.
@nickaboy I have one girl who I have a huge crush on. It's hard to be just friends with her. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing to have a few dozen female friends.
@rabbitzzz As long as you understand that no matter how good of a friend you are, and no matter what you do for in terms of the friendship... its like 100 to 1 it will every be romantic. So set boundaries for yourself.
To the vast majority of men the 'Friend Zone' means nothing and 'Just Friends' means just that, the terms have different meaning for women.
to me I have girl friends and boys too just as friends. now friends with benefits are different
The Romantic Chemistry isn't there... Yet. Is how I view "Friend Zone"
What about guys friendzoning a female?
Yup, it happens... but men only do it wimen they are not romantically attracted to just like women do. But if you're attracted to him as a women, then you should bail. Because men are 10 times more likely to exploit the relationship for sex, even if they are not attracted to her in any type of romantic way. If you're good with that then offer a friends with benefits arrangement.
Oh God! Why are they like that and how do they do that without any romantic attraction or interest? I wouldn’t be able to do that. And I know I need to give up and move on but it’s hard. I think it’s my issue with getting attached
Also happens when both parties are too timid to make a move and end up orbiting each other to the point they’re convinced the other doesn’t have an interest in them.
@GreatBigCircles how does that happen?
Pretty easily; a guy and girl share a friend group, share interests, and both enjoy hanging out. But neither really make the first move, because they’re worried that if they get rejected they’ll lose what friendship they have. And as the relationship goes on, they assume the lack of initiative from the other person is proof that there is no interest; so they decide for the sake of the friendship to not reveal their feelings.
Is there even anything good about having guy friends? Is there any point? That’s what I keep wondering
Guys can be good listeners because they don’t expect much subtly most of the time. But they can get pretty drained too if you just use them as an emotional anchor. Really, if you’re primary concern for having guy friends is “what can it do for me”, then you probably are better off without.
It’s not that I have selfish desires with them. It seems like there’s no point for me because it’s really hard and painful for me. I get attached and catch feelings too easily
I’m always the one that ends up hurt because of it. Like I’ve had a guy friend that was my “best friend” who I had feelings for, for a while and then after some time when everything was good or at least seemed like it, we weren’t talking about it anymore and we were supposed to hangout without a frenemy there, he flaked and didn’t respond to me for a couple days and then he got mad and ended up blocking me on messenger because I got mad about him doing that. He didn’t apologize or say “sorry I can’t come” or anything. And now with one of the couple of guy friends I have, he’s known since May that I’ve had feelings for quite a while and he never said anything about it like yes or no but there was a lot of mixed signals. Long story short, when I told him “you don’t like me that way and feel the same” on the phone, he said “nope” and then I was like “well then how come you lead me on?” And we both were mad. The mixed signals have been better since. And after I first told him about my feelings for him, we had sex one time and I couldn’t do it anymore after
Uncertainty sucks in any relationship, and unfortunately communication is always possible if the other person refuses to play. But that kind of pain can happen in any sort of intimate relationship. If you find it happening repeatedly though you may want to try exploring new hobbies or friend groups. Or approach relationships with platonic intent first rather than seeing them as potentially intimate ones. It can help you from building people up into things they aren’t, and becoming attached to fantasies that aren’t real.
It happens because men don't have the same way to think about sex they do like women have. Men are constantly horny which means they will have sex with any woman who looks halfway okay. A man will have sex with a 4 in looks but only because he's horny. If we weren't perpetually horny women wouldn't be able to do the shit they do nowadays and get away with it by being protected from white knights and simps.
A woman will only want to have sex with a guy who's, rich, has muscles or what not. Everything that puts him above other men so he stands out because that means he can take care of you or something.
Women don't have the same sex drive. If you look half decent as a woman you can ask a man directly if he wants to have sex and he will do it seconds later with you. That rarely works the other way around and only if you are a 10 in everything as a man and even there its rather rare to happen.
But remember. A man will have sex with you, doesn't mean he wants to have anything to do with you. Which is why casual sex and hookup culture is destroying women's mental health so much.
Men have something called "post nut clarity" which means if they had sex with someone crazy or who is not able to be a good mother and they realize it they bail the hell out of it.
A man will want to have a good mother to his children and if he's lucky he gets to have something he can empty his lust inside while the one he cares so much about takes care of the children he has with her. That's the reason why harems exist in some places. One is the leading female who has the children while the others are mostly just sex objects for the man.
Ever looked at how wolf packs live?
@Mess96. For me, just having women friends isn't worth the time and effort. When ever I met a women I make it clear, I am not just looking for a friendship. Sure friendship is an element of the dating dynamic and I want that... but I make my intentions for more known.
Womensay they want sincerity, honesty, openness and commitment... until they get honestly, sincerity, openess, while failing to releaize commitment comes at a cost. Like @GreatBigCircles said they orbit each other, but none makes the move to commit. Why? Because to be in a committed relationship means change, willingness to change and willingness to make changes. Committed relationships means you're both working together, to build toward a future together. For most men are physical creatures, we desire physical in order to fully commitment emotionally. Women want emotional commitment without risk. So who's going commitment first?
More times then not at the first bump in the road, one or other, if not both retreat back into themselves. This is were it all falls apart and frustration and angry enters.
Why do we do this? Because we hang on to failure so hard we can't recognize sucess when we achieve it. So instead of doubling down on the commitment, we retreat and hopes the other person makes the next move, while we pretent our feelings are more relevant and must be catered to. So we can feel safe, being ourselves, but what about the other person? How are they trying work together to always for us to retain ourselves, but respect who they are? And that is not how healthy relationships work. But if yiy have never be in a healthy relationship you're not going to ever come to that realization, so around and around we got. Orbiting each other with every tryely connecting, until we collid one day like two testrail masses and relationship explodes into a fireball of devastating portions. Or we lose interest and drift off into space.
Yeah I think and feel like it’s too complicated to be friends with the opposite sex. I don’t know why my guy friends like having me as a friend but it’s too complicated
its where I always lived. I just accept it
Stop accepting it , I am trying to escape my last one right now. She is even without knowing it helping me walk away from her
It means rejection
Agreex
a dead end street.. going nowhere