In order of IMHO most important to least:
KIDS-MONEY-SEX and IN-LAWS
These four items will make or break your marriage or your long-term relationship. As each items interlinked to each other. Take for example KIDS - Do you want them? When? How do we stay on the agreed upon timline while having safe sex? How do we provide for them (money)? Etc. Etc.
Failure to not discuss these topics in detail and to not agree on the core-basics will result in catastrophic failure I.E., divorce or death (see murder-sucide or just sucide).
My purpose today is to stress the core parts of each pillar:
KIDS - Do you want Kids? Yes or NO - I can think of no issue that is so tragic when taken half-heartedly as this one. When this question is met with an "I guess" it's a recipe for disaster.
MONEY - What are your financial priorities as individuals? What are your financial priorities as a COUPLE? LASTLY how do you go about managing it responsibly?
SEX - How often is good for you? 1 a week 2x a day or once a month? How you deal with low sex drive vs.a high sex drive is a significant challenge that every couple will have to navigate?
IN-LAWS - What role will they play in our marriage and in our kids lives? What is and isn't appropriate to share? I.e., is it okay to go to your parents for sexual advice? Some are this comfortable and some are not. How do you feel about cutting off toxic family members?
These core questions and answers must be discussed and re-visited COUNTLESS times throughout your relationship.
Where silence falls, when the question is asked - death will surely follow.
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