Fitness compatibility is a real thing!

[HawkPerception]

Something that has always baffled me is when women choose to start working out AFTER a breakup even though their partner has mentioned many times in the relationship that they're getting fat. They do this as vengeance to make their ex see what they've lost. It makes no sense to me. Why couldn't you just do it in the relationship?

People need to stop being so afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, because if you can't be honest with your partner, who CAN you be honest with? Like obviously don't just insult for the sake insulting, but tell them the truth and give constructive criticism. Maybe encourage them to workout with you, ya know?

I've noticed that MOST men have no issues telling each other that they're fat or getting fat. It's appreciated an gives us motivation to do something about it. On the other hand, females get extremely upset when others (no matter which sex) says that to them. And now we've developed this body positivity culture where everyone is afraid of telling others the truth at any point and saying to embrace whatever state your body is in and love it. Girls are calling each other queens and saying they "slay" no matter how they look in person and on social media.

What many people fail to realize is that physical attraction does matter. It's a biological predisposition. We are attracted to certain features more so than others. And most of those features are related to being fit and healthy. That is why obese people are not generally considered attractive. Sorry, not sorry.

Physical attraction matters to an extent, more so initially than down the line when we've already had experiences with our partners and created memories that have bonded us. We are attracted to people that care about their appearance and their health and put effort into that. I don't know why people think that changes when they're in relationships. They have the delusion of "They should love me for me!" Well sorry hunny, but caring about your appearance and health is PART of your personality. It's a PART of what made us attracted to you in the first place.

Don't get me wrong now. If you have some condition, which has paralyzed you and prevents you from working out at all, then that is understandable and a good guy will stay with you regardless of what that condition is. They will always remmeber the experiences and memories you had and love you for those. But those cases are rare. The main thing that matters is EFFORT. As long as we see you put in effort into your health and appearance, we'll respect it. But if you're sitting on the couch and watching Netflix 24/7, asking your partner to pick up some dessert or take-out food, saying you don't have any energy to workout because of your busy day... we'll call you out on the bs.

Now let me clarify... there are couples that are both into staying in and don't like being active. Not every human likes doing the same things. That's why confirming similar interests is important. If you both like staying in gaming together, playing lego, watching movies, doing art together, etc... that's fine too!

But the main thing I'm getting at here is that there is such a thing as fitness compatibility and when you stop putting in the same effort as you did in the beginning, it can throw your partner off entirely and quite honestly... make them unattracted to you. Don't be petty and only start putting in the effort into your appearance and health after a breakup. If you're a good partner, you'd care about being attractive to your significant other. People say that you shouldn't have to look good for your partner, but I think those people are delusional. I think the MOST important person to look attractive for is your partner. I'm not saying to doll yourself up 24/7 including in the house. I'm just saying to workout, eat healthy, practice good hygiene, and if the occasion calls for it, doll yourself up. It goes a long way in a relationship... I promise.

The best relationship dynamic is when both partners feel they don't deserve each other and always put in the effort equal to that belief. Happy PARTNER, happy life.

[DizzyDesii]

I tried to get a lot of my bfs to workout together but they figured because they were already skinny that they didn't need to “get in shape”. But it sucked seeing how they sucked at lifting if we got sexual. And some struggled with maintaining stamina since they were out of shape. Only one of my exes actually became overweight from never working out. I guess the other guys had a fast metabolism. As for the one who gained a lot of weight, he's back trying to ease his way back in but now he looks damn near unrecognizable. I wanted to leave him back then because I lost attraction to him and that attraction is even more gone now

[HawkPerception]

I thought you were into the skinny nerdy looking dudes. Asking them to change is a pretty tough ask 😅

[DizzyDesii]

I am into slim jims but they are still toned because they’re active/athletic. For example— skaterboys… And as for nerdy? I like shy lonewolf guys who wear glasses and are overachievers. But i am Not into nerdy guys who read comics, play video games, D&D, etc

[DizzyDesii]

I dont need a guy who is buff nor have abs. But i like for them to have great lift strength and toned arms. Nothing extreme

[DizzyDesii]

Also i said to “get in shape”. You can be skinny and out of shape. I’ve dated some slim jims with good lift strength because they stayed in shape and were active. I've also dated some limp lanky dudes who didn't even pick up a 5 pound dumb bell

[DizzyDesii]

@yujineutral i’m not even Indian so you can just stop. I’m black and my main preference is black men but I do date men of every race/ethnicity. The different race men I have dated were all slimmer skaterboys which is my preference. No one asked for your “feedback”. And black men are naturally talented especially athletically. I have never dated a guy for his dick size as men of all ethnicities have big and small. Not every “Desi” is Indian. Desi is my actual name. Goodbye and good day sir

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Dang, I see a lot of young women with fat dudes and string beans that probably could barely lift them up.

[DizzyDesii]

@Oncewildtwiceburned Slimjims will fool you. A lot of them have a lot of lift strength especially if they played on the basketball or football team. You can still be skinny and just have a toned physique thats not necessarily built

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Yeah, I’ve been around guys my whole life in sports, army, and now jiu jitsu and the gym. I know, but I can also tell when the guy can’t lift his girlfriend up more than once a week without hurting himself and/or her lol.

[DizzyDesii]

@Oncewildtwiceburned 😂😂

[Malwi93]

If a girl is fat or got fat u r free to drop her

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

“The best relationship dynamic is when both partners feel they don't deserve each other and always put in the effort equal to that belief. Happy PARTNER, happy life.”

I think a guy should just feel lucky to have a woman he’s attracted to who loves him and treat her accordingly. He should NOT feel like he doesn’t deserve her, thats some defeatist thinking and its not masculine or attractive, if he is literally a scumbag he shouldn’t waste her time and life by getting with her in the first place.

[exitseven]

I mostly dated athletic girls because I am very active and wanted to be with somebody who would share that lifestyle. I did know girls that would diet and workout just to be more attractive to the opposite sex. I also knew girl who would get married and then let themselves go.

[hollydolly]

I think you're on to something! Fitness has and always will be a part of my life. Keeps me sane.

My man doesn't need to be that in love with it, HOWEVER
Yes to stronger than me

and I mean, shouldn't be that big of an ask. You have a biological head start, and I'm only 5 ft 3'
Men should be able to request/require some sort of similar expectations

[Staximus]

I'm overweight, but I'm still in good enough shape that I could hike a mile uphill at 7000 feet elevation right after laying in bed and smoking cigarettes for a year during covid. I weigh 235 right now and don't want a woman who is bigger and more out of shape than me.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

True.

And, it's important to us.

[LiamJHayden]

To an extent. I do not expect her to keep up with me, but if she's a couch potato it will not work.