Relationships

Why Dating Is So Damn Difficult For Us 🤬

I think newer generations (like older generations had in their own ways) have trouble dating because of something specific. Older generations didn’t deal with much dating and courtship like we have in present times. We don’t face all of the same challenges that they have faced. The newer generations, I can tell you, do struggle with this, though..

Lack of compatibility.

I’m not even sure when compatibility was first mentioned, in regards to couples, or in some ‘couple counseling session,’ and became as popular as it has now today, but I DO know there was a time when it wasn’t really paid any mind to. Compatibility wasn’t given the time of day.

I think it is growing into a bigger topic and sometimes, for some of us, a bigger issue.

And I think the reason for this is because of something overlooked.

The fact that our generation and the ones neighboring us. Have EVOLVED into more EXPRESSIVE but individualistic type of individuals.

We have strayed away from stereotypes drastically, and towards more self-sustaining versions of ourself that when we hold up a mirror and look into it, we say and see, *Unique.*

Being unique…

with our own set of codes, in a way, and our own set of “sheet music,” marching to the beat of our own drums. 🪘 🥁

It has been a great step for us. And an honest one. But it has tragically lacked the necessary addition of tolerance and acceptance.

Since we lose tolerance for others and don’t accept their differences. We not only lack compatibility but lack to “musically harmonize.”

We struggle to TRULY, truly, get along.

If we can’t get to the end of an argument with another person, who we were sexually or romantically interested in/ involved with,

like that of a simpleton, who just can’t seem put out a stubborn bonfire. 🔥

And yet we walk RIGHT into it like passing through any doorway. Then we won’t be able to actually live with them. We won’t.

Not only is this truly a misfortunate situation, but it’s of worse matters, when people go along believing someone better will come right along.

And some of these ‘believers’ not even knowing what better looks like.

Who raises better. 🤵‍♂️🤰Where did better grow up. 🏠 Where does better like to hang out. 🗺️

You get my point.

Then there’s those who have this idea of what better looks like, and figured- better may look a LOT like themselves..

in character, and like someone otherworldly, ✨ but in physical form.

When in all fairness, seriousness, truth and reality-

There is NO person who is *both* human AND otherworldly.

Different AND like us.

There is no “partner in crime” manufactured JUST for us.

Batman couldn’t get Robin to say every single word he’d want to hear at any given moment. Robin did NOT grow up like Batman. Face the same origins. They’re DIFFERENT. For those who missed this, I’ll say it again. They’re DIFFERENT.

And not only do they put out the “fires,” but they walk with a sense of their own purpose and responsible carefulness.

In short, they ARGUE. Yes, but they get THROUGH it. And they’re different, but they still get ALONG.

I use the example of Batman and Robin to emphasize my point and say: We need to resemble that ourselves. As we evolve. We embrace our Unique Traits and abilities. But we manage to harmonize with others. Coexist.

Not cross somebody off because they’re different, not us, or didn’t say the things we wanted them to say to us.

Compatibility, doesn’t at all, mean twin. Even biologically-related twin siblings, can NOT get along at all, and lack compatibility. When we look for better and look for someone compatible, we have to put down the mirror, and see them for who they are. It’s gonna be different. We may find things we don’t like, but they’re always gonna be another human… living in the world… whether we like them or we don’t. 🤷‍♀️

Do we want to live with them. THESE cluster of humans who don’t fit the ‘mister or miss right’ mold or brand? And are DIFFERENT? Or do we want to live entirely by ourselves.

We have to ask ourselves that and be honest.

Making that choices for ourselves completely.

And while coming to that conclusion.

We have to also remember and realize that we can live with them, be their neighbor…

friend, relative, fellow citizen, date etc. and we don’t have to become them. At all. In fact, it would be impossible. We could try to look like them just for the heck of it and still never be them. It’d be like the two twins who didn’t get along. It would be like some “lifeless” / non-authentic, and non-genuine clone.

As we enter a new era. The era of Unique. With the strain on compatibility and acceptance. We run towards a risk of absence of dating. Altogether. Absence of marriage. Absence of partnerships. Companionship. Relationships. Community…

Will we be mature and put out the fires? Will we choose unique partners in crime, over a room full of mirrors? 🪞

Will we choose People?
Or Self entirely. And aggressively.

That’s up for you to decide.

It’s up to all of us to decide for ourselves. Will we talk to them or forget the concepts and terms, ‘Them’ and ‘Us’ altogether. Like a vague dream. Faded memory. 💭

I want to add one final piece. ☝️

While self reflection is still fully unexplored. Uncharted. And beneficial. Like EXTREMELY important….

We have to remember before the creation of the mirror, we didn’t see OURSELVES. We saw others with a likeness to us. We looked into their eyes and said, “That’s my people.” That’s not a tree 🌲, a mountain ⛰️, or some four-legged creature 🐅.

It’s not a thing with gills 🐟
or a beak. 🦅

That is ME… They walk like me. They look like me. That is MY people... That is my species. That will always be family. 🫸🫷

(video sourced from: YouTube)


#Dating #Individuality

#Evolution #Era #Unique

#Self #Companionship

#Acceptance #Tolerance

#Compatibility #Familiar

#YouChoose #YouPick

Why Dating Is So Damn Difficult For Us 🤬
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