Personality vs. Looks

[luvme56]

I have seen many questions on G@G related to personality vs. looks.

So... I just wanted to clear it once and for all!

#LOOKS vs. #PERSONALITY

Definitions:

Looks: have the appearance or give the impression of being.

Personality: the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character.

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Looks are great and awesome! It gives a you the first impression of the person! But you know there is a famous dialogue in books and movies "don't let the looks deceive you"

This actually applies in real life too!

Suppose take the examples...

1. Girl.....who is beautiful or a guy who is handsome are both walking on the street like a swagger,would you even try to pay attention at that guy/girl? NO...Okay a bit, but not much!

If he/she has a confident walk,you would definitely make eye contact!

2. A girl/guy who looks ugly but has a awesome personality and is in a party and talking to people in a descent manner (softly,calmly,confidently)!

People would prefer to talk to this ugly guy/girl rather than a rude nice looking guy/girl!

_____________________________________________________________

If you don't have any one of this,life is hard for you! you can develop your personality, looks can be touched with make up and stuff but they actually don't matter much!

But always remember!

I know its not a good take but... I hope you get the message!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for (not) clearing this up once and for all, oh Wise One lol

1) Looks matter. They have since the beginning of time. Animals are attracted by looks as well as what we would call personality, except they exhibit this in the form of the strength of their character and ability to be dominant while protecting and surviving.

2) Nothing has changed in this department regarding looks... only society's outlook on things. Since the rise of the "PC culture", there was once an intense and misguided effort to shame those who placed any sort of priority on physical appearance, or so much as thought about it to themselves. This caused people (yourself included) to jump on this "looks aren't the only thing!" train. It has evened itself out a little bit but like many other social issues, society is very polarized and unable to correct itself from pushing too far in the other direction.

3) If people would quit trying to see themselves as somehow above nature or other animals, we'd all be pretty fine and well-off. There would be no need to explain these things if people simply acted and existed without also trying to rewire peoples' cognition on these things. It's basically metacognition about basic, hardwired instincts. If you think you can beat that, go ahead and try.

4) These social justice movements also have people (again, yourself included lol) associating good looks with a shitty person. The thought is that the more beautiful a person is, the less they have to develop other aspects and as a result, they are brats until they get what they want. Try getting to know people before you assume things about THEM based on THEIR LOOKS (which is what you were writing about to begin with, wasn't it?). I imagine I'd be shitty towards people too if they just assumed everything about me like this.

5) Celebs. You've only ever seen them on TV and movies, in paparazzi pics, and maybe in headlines... but you suddenly know them. Makes sense (sarcasm)

[luvme56]

You are totally true i am not assuming anyone.. but after knowin people we can difinitley split the personality and the looks in a different way!

Wht if a good looking girl you like is your gf but she is mean, possesive, rude and selfish would this relationship last forever

I added if

[Opinion Owner]

No, that relationship wouldn't last long. But those traits aren't specific to pretty girls only. And if she was like that, I wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with her to begin with. It's kind of hard to miss a shitty person like the one you described.

[luvme56]

I am just conveying that looks are impirtant... but for long term relationships you need to find someone with better personality!

[Opinion Owner]

Well of course. But letting people know to focus more on personality doesn't mean looks or physical attraction needs to be focused on... to not be focused on. Because that's how articles like these tend to speak about them. Just bass ackwards lol

[luvme56]

Ya... i guess that depends on the angle you think... wait... i wrote that looks are awesome and are cool!!

[Opinion Owner]

I'm going to fly over there and kiss you on your lips

[luvme56]

Finallllllyyyy u understand my view point!!! *sigh*

[Opinion Owner]

I'm going to cup my hand on your butt

[luvme56]

WTF... DUDE?

[Opinion Owner]

What? It's all no homo, man

[Marihorror]

Men and women are picky in completely different ways. It has been my experience that women typically care much less about physical appearance than men. However, we make up for our leniency on looks by having higher standards with personality traits such as dominance, intelligence, high earning potential, etc, which is why men are constantly complaining that "alpha males" get all of the women. Men on the other hand tend to overlook minor character flaws in exchange for beauty.

I'm not saying that women don't care about looks and that men only care about looks, but I do believe different things are more important to each gender.

[ItsBrunah]

Its not really about the looks.. say if you're in a ´relationship´ in that relationship you should a lot more about your, personality of course but there's that time that you obviously won't go out with an ugly person. For you they might beautiful and for some ugly... but who are you to judge if you have to look at your self first right :) ? so if you have a negative opinion then i think that person shouldn't say negative things bcos that can lead to the person being dreppresed but then in my opinion personality matters more but looks i obviously look for aswell. Lets say if i like someone and i find them attractive and someone found them ugly i would respect it but no negative comments on peoples pages such here , Facebook anything really

[luvme56]

True!!

[ItsBrunah]

yeah thats what i think, i hope you think the same..

[luvme56]

Yup... i think the same! :)

[ItsBrunah]

good :)

[Creole_Flavor]

I get it and I have probably said it a million times to people on here. It's sad that insecure people will not believe this and still continue to loathe in self pity and blame everyone for being shallow. Personality really is the key and if your looks are not working for you then your personality is probably shitty so just work on it and get out there. Practice talking to girls and not behind a computer. As much as I love to do it, I can admit that social skills are enhanced in the outside world.

[Smaug]

Sure you won't date someone you're not attracted to, but what people don't understand is how much personality can add to someone. First glances are nice, but getting to know someone whether they are hot or not can drastically influence your attractive to the individual.

Of course physical attraction is needed as well, but that can all come in good time once you get to know someone.

[luvme56]

Ya true!

[chocolatedragon]

Looks and personslity equally matter.
You want to be with someone you're attracted too
You want to be with someone whose company you enjoy.

Looks and personslity along with sex are the triangle love affair that make a good relationship.

[luvme56]

Sexxx... ya could be... hahah!

[Ersacol28]

I think they go hand to hand a person can have a great amazing personality but if you're not attracted to them that's useless then, or can be handsome/cute as hell but as soon as they open their mouth they loose all charm... so might as well find someone that you're attracted too with a likeable personality

[luvme56]

Thats wht i am gonna do!

[Blessed15]

Looks are somewhat important but they are not everything. You have to be somewhat physically attracted to someone but it's their personality that really matters at the end of the day. Their looks will eventually change but its the personality that will keep you interested.

[luvme56]

Ypu got the point... bro!

[LizNeedsHelp]

What's weird is once you have a bad personality it's over. No long term relationships for you. And Negative + Negative doesn't make a positive in this situation (unless there's money involved then I think there's another reason to stay with the a hole)

[luvme56]

Ya
.. But personality can be developed ! I think!

[LizNeedsHelp]

Maybe.. depending on what caused it

[LittleSally]

Looks don't matter? = The most fake thing I've ever read.

I've never seen a man who was dating a girl who wasn't ad least decent looking. Ever.
I've seen plenty of women go out with below average looking men though.

Coincidence - not at all.

Looks matter to everyone, personalities matter to some. - sad but true.

[luvme56]

I never said looks dont matter there... you can re read the take!
In that case =toxic relationships sad but true

[I_M_LEGEND]

if they dont have at least a decent amount of both, it won't work for me. I've beem with extremes of both but its about finding a balance so your sex life and relationship dont suffer.

its hard to find both. while the very hot doesn't have the self awareness since theyre from a different reality the one with personality tries to buy the attractive one with personality.

[luvme56]

Yes
.. they are hard to find!

[dE_logics]

You may hate this, but there has been research done which positively correlate looks with intelligence and there's a big margin.

And handsome men are generally more successful than average; taking the IQ and looks correlation, handsome men must be more faithful too.

So what you think about handsome men and beautiful women are all stereotypes.

[luvme56]

Dude.. i am not classifying anyone! I am not even saying anything bad about handsome or ugly men or women! I just mean to say that if you have good looks a better personality is must!

[dE_logics]

On top of that girls don't need to have a good personalty.

They just should not be paranoid. That's all.

[luvme56]

Which is a personality disorder!

[FustratedFudgecake]

Well, I would have said looks are always important... until I met the guy of my dreams. The first time I saw this guy I actually felt bad for him, I genuinely did. Everyone made fun of him because he's 5 ft 3 , has funny teeth, a big nose and looks about 14 (he's 24). They call him 'The Leprechaun' because he's so small (and Irish).
I got to know this guy and I soon realized that his sense of humour, the way that he always knows how I'm feeling and knows just what to say to brighten my day and other things, made him more attractive to me than Brad pitt.
I no longer saw him as unattractive, I saw him as adorable and all those things that people use in jokes about him, are what make him so special to me.
If he suddenly became handsome, I swear on my life, I would pay a plastic surgeon to change him back.

It's just a shame he doesn't know how I feel :(

[FustratedFudgecake]

(By handsome I mean by society's rules, he's handsome to me already)

[littlemissblondie15]

looks are your first impression. personality is your lasting impression.

[luvme56]

Yupp... the last impression decide the span of a relationship!

[littlemissblondie15]

exactly

[swolebookworm]

Personnality isn't confidence by the way...

Personnality is how you think, what you know, what you do in life, what you like, what you hate, what concepts make you think more or less, etc.

You can have a bad personnality but still be confident!

[luvme56]

Actually confidence is a part of our personality... it depeneds on different ppl!
Thats why i wrote the above definition!

[dazedandconfused22]

This is all I need in a guy who is taller than them, a guy who is confident (doesn't put up with our shit and isn't scared to tell us what he thinks) and a guy who is kind at the same time and funny and mysterious.

[luvme56]

Which is a type of personality you prefer! See definition!

[kheserthorpe]

That's all you need? I'm not sure I've ever met someone like that.

[dazedandconfused22]

@kheserthorpe now you have :)

[I_M_LEGEND]

thats me, are you single?=P @dazedandconfused

[luvme56]

Hahha... lol you gotta a match lol

[dazedandconfused22]

I forgot to add I don't date guys i've met online. haha @I_M_LEGEND.

[I_M_LEGEND]

and i do well in real life=) i dont think I've met anyone offline myself.

u know i m kidding anyways @dacedandconfused

[I_M_LEGEND]

@dazedandconfused

[beautifulife]

actually, attractive people tend to have more outgoing and social personalities, making them easy-going people persons.

just cause you're hot doesn't mean you have a shitty personality. that's simply untrue. also, correlation is NOT causation! stats 101!

[luvme56]

I didn't mean to say that good looking people dont have good personalities... i just said the good looking people who (some) dont have a good personality... i think are not much attractive to me!

[beautifulife]

I see. You could have emphasized that a bit more in your article. Also, a lot of people are able to glean more information from pictures than text. Especially if they're very visual, the image stays with them longer. My point is, your graph was not a good choice to use. The only way to make it effective is to dispel what most people would assume from it in your text-- The picture basically says that the uglier you are, the better your personality and vice versa. Since you didn't disprove it and carried on with the concept, it's only natural for people to assume the wrong assumptions. Did that make sense? Just trying to help.

[luvme56]

Yes... thanks that mad sense! :)

[PhiOmega]

I care about my looks, i like to feel good in my skin

But from my personal observation, as far as girls go looks don't matter, i mean I've seen plenty of the girls in this site, say the same thing and i was just talking to a friend of mine and her words were "i can't be completely unattractted to them, yanoe" to which i replied "that probably leaves 1% [of guys that are found unattractive by all women ] making looks a moot point" "yea"-she said

It's vry common to see women date under, which i feel stresses this

[AmberDawnxo]

I'm not sure on that chart you got there lol. And I think people who are beautiful can also have a beautiful personality. But I defiantly get your point!! And its nice to be reminded of such thing.

[luvme56]

Thanks... i know the chart is wrong... i just googled it! :)

[Anonymous]

Attractive men have better personalities. Attractive women have worse personalities.

Attractive men get more girls, thus building natural confidence, which is what girls crave.

Attractive women get too many offers from men, which overinflates their self worth, making them spoiled and bratty, which is the opposite of what men crave.

In addition, attractive people are on average superior in other pursuits. Better looking people are more intelligent, richer, and taller on average.

[luvme56]

Richer doesn't... look logical.. its heridity!

But the overinflation of attitude is a point to be noted!

[Slavanna]

Soooo... only a guy can have it all. Women can only be sweet homely mice or beautiful hollow shells. Awesome.

[Opinion Owner]

Women like confident personalities, men like shyer, more unsure personalities.

Being sexually successful leads to confidence

So yea that tends to be the case

[koibito]

Without personality, looks doesn't matter in the long run.
And having a great personality can be a substitute for looks, given long enough time.

[luvme56]

True... its true!

[Anonymous]

I don't get why people assume that just because a person is good-looking they don't have a good personality. It's the same with ugly people as well. Most ugly people I know are very bitter, so they actually don't have good personalities. I am sure there are some exceptions but for the most part it's true.

[Sigma88]

Perhaps those "ugly" people are bitter because "pretty" people like calling them ugly, like it's a national pastime. It always speaks volumes about people who look down on others, over looks.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm pretty sure they don't. Why would a good-looking person insult an ugly person?

[luvme56]

Bcz its bcz of their mean personality!

[luvme56]

And i never said or wrote anything about good looks=bad personality!