Looks Are More Important Than Personality

Looks Are More Important Than Personality

Okay, the title is a little facetious, but hear me out because this is a hot take, or a psychotic rant... I'm not sure, but you aren't the same person you were 10 years ago, and you definitely aren't the same person 10 years before that. I mean, think about how much you changed in the past 5 and tell me honestly you won't change 5 more years down the road. And the thing is no one stays the same. Not you, not your friends, and definitely not your sweetheart.

So people say to wait forevermore for marriage because you just don't know someone unless you know them for like 5 years. That's nonsense. You still won't know who they will become. It seems to me like the majority of people expect the wrong things from a marriage, like an ideal person to always make them happy and be whatever they want at the time rather than a partner to help and be helped by as you work towards a common goal that's bigger than yourselves. The key to a long lasting marriage is to not get divorced.

Now, I often hear marriage as a business agreement when things like this get brought up. It's not. There's a spiritual side to marriage, like a mixing of souls kind of thing. If you aren't the spiritual type, you can think of it as spending so much time with someone, your personalities mix with each other (also a danger in long-term relationships). It's fine for marriage. It's supposed to be like that, but I also believe that break up of long-term relationships or marriages damages a person's soul, like they became a part of you and when you reject it, you reject a part of yourself. The trouble is that personalities change, so basing a relationship on personality only is unstable. It's just as unstable as looks, which also change (yes, my title is a clickbait lie).

So base marriage or long-term relationships on something bigger than yourselves you decide to stay committed to all your life. Decide to just make it work, and then follow through. It's really the only thing that makes any sense.

Looks Are More Important Than Personality
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Most Helpful Guys

  • razelove
    Marriage is a business contract. Everything else is a bullseye, if you're waiting for love, or putting arbitrary rules and expectations on how it should play out, you'll just wind up very lonely.

    Looks are more important for that puppy love, as you ignore the other person's flaws and extoll any crumb of their positive attributes for a few days to a few months. If you look at each other after a few months and still want to climb each other like spider monkeys and spend time with each other AFTER you got laid, then yeah, jump in headfirst, see where it goes, time waits for no one. Get something good going, see what happens.

    I've been with women who weren't physically attractive to me, but they were persistent, made me feel comfortable, and happy, so absent looks, sex with them and being with them was still something I looked forward to.
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  • exitseven
    Looks are nice to have but a person's personality is the essence of that person. Basing a relationship on looks alone is not a good idea.
    Like anything else in life, marriage is hard work sometimes. Getting two people to adjust to each other in real time is not easy. Recognizing that the marriage unit is something bigger than oneself is the key. And when children are involved it is even more important to recognize that.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ah, a rational take. Refreshing. I agree and I appreciate your perspective
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