Looks or Personality? My Honest Answer

[Anonymous]

On here there have been several questions that asked "looks or personality?" Many gaggers say both are equally important or personality is more important. I don't know if they're being honest or they're saying that to not sound shallow. It's okay to admit that looks are more important.

I've seen many couples with different looks and personalities. I've seen ugly guys with average looking girls. I've seen kind of ugly girls with average looking guys. I've seen average looking people with attractive people. Only once in my life, I've seen a gorgeous woman marry an ugly rich doctor guy. People are attracted to what they are attracted to.

I'm also attracted to what I'm attracted to. It's not my cup of tea to be with a guy who's less attractive than me just because he has a good personality and a lot of money.

I'm one of very few people who claim that looks are the most important for me. Personality is important because I wouldn't want to be with an asshole. It's just that my standards for looks is higher than my standards for personality. This makes me feel like I'm the odd one out, especially as a girl.

Compared to looks, personality is easier to change. It stays relative and aging takes years to fade the looks away.

You can't fuck personality. Sex is more enjoyable with a better looking person.

Looks also affect the way I feel about someone. I won't deny that looks also affect attraction and how I will treat them. It affects my willingness to compromise for what I lack.

It's human nature. Personality won't produce a healthy, attractive child. I can't let personality, morals, norms, money and blah blah blah to interfere with my instincts. If I ever decide to have a baby, I want my child to be healthier and more attractive than me. As a mom, I should want the best genes for my kids. My mom didn't care and I don't want to make that same mistake.

[Anonymous]

Looks is more important for most people, even though they do not realize it

[coachTanthony]

The one that wins is the one you have.

[curiousnorway]

There's no guarantee your children would be healthy, medical condition free, good looking etc. just because you and your partner is good looking. Other people in your biologically family can affect too and unexpected things might happen. Some mental and physical disorders are something a family can pass on their child. Sometimes the combination between the features isn't the best and therefor the child won't always look good just because the parents does.

In addition having something in common makes it easier to continue a relationship in my opinion. Dating someone isn't just about sex, but also about other things like being together, talk, doing things together etc.

For me appearance is very important and I'm extremely picky in dating. But personality is also important because we needs to have something in common and it would be easier to be together. Personality is also difficult to change like appearance. Some personality traits are something you're born with, but other's something you gets because of experiences in life. You can change your appearance to an extent like haircut, makeup, clothes, cosmetic surgery, tattoos etc.

[ChocEyes1]

What bothers me the most is how people who go for looks get shamed and labeled as shallow, superficial and sometimes even offended, as if they are violating someone's rights.

When it comes to dating, sex and relationships, it's all about personal preferences. No one has the right to be picked or to be chosen as a sexual/romantic partner, no matter how decent of a human being you are. If you are a great human being, it's gotta be because it's what your ethics tell you to do, regardless of anything you may gain from it.

[LaikaFreefall]

You're not that attractive to me... Like, seriously, you wouldn't even rate the tiniest wiggle down there lol.
Maybe you can't fuck personality... but you can fuck someone you actually care about. And that makes sex even better than if they're really attractive. And I'm not the only one who thinks so.
You? I could never care about someone like you that way. You just seem to vain and empty as a human being. You would have nothing to offer me besides ten to thirty minutes of warm squishy noises.

I dont wanna fuck a pretty shell, I wanna make love to a beautiful person... (and ya, sometimes fuck their brains out haha.)

I'm not trying to sound hostile b/c I'm really not meaning to be. I'm just telling you like it is. I use you as an example b/c you've described yourself as being attractive (or at least suggested it).

[LaikaFreefall]

@PurityEvelyn I dont know you... Why can't you message on gag?

[mxgirl23]

The man im deeply inlove with, I didn't find him all that attractive at first when we first started dating; I mean he was kinda cute, but not like DANG. But I loved his personality and how fun he was to be around, and he made me feel so special. After 2 years of being together and really knowing him, I've grown to think that he is by far the sexiest man I've ever seen. But that's because I've grown to know and love HIM. The looks just kinda came after because he made himself more attractive to me by just being him.

[Anonymous]

With all these pick up artist people taking home women every night, even though the guys are hideous, I just don't believe women actually care about looks anymore. Sure, you think you do. But then a pick up artist comes by and you're giving him your number. And I know girls will always say "oh I know them, I avoid them." But the real ones pick you up with genuine interest and charisma. I'm sure there are plenty of fakes that are obvious and you think you avoided the pickup artists but the good ones you never saw any signs.

[myTake Owner]

Lol wishful thinking right here. Every guy I liked was more attractive than me. If I don't like his looks, his charisma and genuine interest won't make me attracted to him. I wouldn't give shit to him. Guys like you need to stop being delusional.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not wishful thinking trust and believe, it's observation. I know players, ugly as fuck guys who get girls that act just like you. It's just a reality I have witnessed. Women don't want to admit that its possible to push their buttons like a keyboard on a PC and get the output they want aka pussy lol.

And I'm good looking. I'm just not good with women like some of the player guys I know who can just get ANYONE they want.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

It's natural for both men and women to seek out a partner that is attractive, but sex drive and lust are finite, values and belief (things that heavily constitute personality) are not. They are consistent throughout ones life. You're going to realize when you get older that without substance, any relationship is unstable. One that hinges on looks alone or even a majority, is not sustainable. Putting character and personality at the forefront will ensure not only longevity, but also a more successful relationship in my opinion.

[silverblood]

I think its fine when people care about looks vs personality, it only gets under my skin when some people go out of there way to make others feel bad for not fitting what someone else wants in looks for there partners etc. However, the same could be said for personality, and people treating someone badly because they think there to stupid for them etc.
I think people shouldn't care who is with who in the end. I for one get more turned on by someones personality before there looks, but looks still matter for me to a point. but when I get hit on by someone that only cares about looks or I am friends with someone that is looks first, it turns me off more often then not. doesn't make them wrong, just not how I view life.

in short if its natural for you to feel that way and you aren't being a dirtbag and making others hurt because of what you like then go for it lol.

[Anonymous]

You sound very shallow and naive lol, I feel bad for whatever guy gets involved with you. You talk and talk and talk but nothing in this Take has any intelligent substance. I mean, come on, sex is not better just because someone is good looking. Personality, honestly, is more important. You say you can't fuck a personality, which is true, but a guy with a caring personality is more likely to make love to you and care about you and focus on you than a dumb ass who just looks good.

[Lopezz1999]

It is unrealistic, I agree. The thing is, you're more likely to be sexually attracted to someone based off of good looks rather than a good personality.

Women aren't less visual creatures, and they're more likely to be ROMANTICALLY attracted to a guy, and a good personality can really do the trick.

[Machiavelli]

I am considered good looking to most, yes I am uglier than pictures and look better in real life. I do agree that with her post because I want a good looking man too. But in my younger years many guys get to be with me because of what you said, but they failed me later and set my standards higher. I like hot guys but a funny guy or guy who went out on a limb for me, would have turned my head back then and Tom Cruise wouldn't matter.

[Machiavelli]

@PurityEvelyn ok

[Solanaceae]

I think when you first meet a person, looks are more important. Afterwards, personality is the deciding factor. And yes, sorry, but I wouldn't marry Quasimodo. I have to be attracted to my husband. I agree with you on that. But he doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous. I'll take an average guy with a nice personality over a Greek god that's an jerk. I've made that mistake already, and learned from it.

[Cosytoasty]

I'd think it would be looks and money equally -----> personality if you're simply thinking of securing the best male to father your offspring.

No point having an attractive baby if you grow up in a shithole, your child will probably not live to see it's teenage years. The number of attractive rich people FAR outweighs the number of attractive poor people.

[myTake Owner]

No just looks. I will make all the money.

[MarkRet]

Sex and relationships are mainly what goes on in the mind, so it would be kind of shallow to just date somebody just on their looks. That being said, I think both of those pictures are the same guy, but if my daughter were dating a guy that looked like the one in the first picture, I'd feel ill. That's some nasty attitude coming off of him.

[BrittBratt2416]

My mom didn't care and I don't want to make that same mistake
Damn you think yo daddy's ugly lol wow

Anyways looks/ attraction reel us in. It's what makes us want to get to get to know someone on a romantic level
Personality is was makes a person leave or stay... you could be a total 10 but if your nagging and bitchy a lot, a man will bounce.
So both are now needed. It will not work without one or the other.

[Anonymous]

For one thing, I can say is, Thank you for not trying to appeal to some other crowd, people need to admit themselves the truth that they do actually like attractive people more attractive than personality wise. Also ugly people make pretty cute babies too, trust me, I've seen some fugl- I mean erm less attractive people.

[Stamps]

Or maybe, there ARE actually people that care more about personality than looks.

[Opinion Owner]

@Stamps Whatever helps you sleep at night, pal. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

[Stamps]

I guess

[Anonymous]

I agree 100% I have plenty of female friends with great, amazing personalities that could definitely be relationship material.
But why dont i date them? Because im not attracted to the majority of them physically.
Many people have great personalities, its the looks that make you want to get to know them even more.
So yes the looks are kind of more important in a way

[MoreThanFriends]

You're missing something very crucial but very basic. That being that men and women are different. We are wired differently, and are evolutionarily programmed to seek out and prioritized different things in who we mate with. That's why women don't care about looks but men do. That's why you don't want to date your friends even though they have amazing personalities, and why I can date hot girls even though I look like shit.

[Opinion Owner]

@MoreThanFriends male humans aren't programmed this way. Just as many males in the animal kingdom are approached rather than the otherway around.
This is just social construct as women were opeessed and forced to be in that position.
Women are still into looks

[Anonymous]

"You can't fuck personality. Sex is more enjoyable with a better looking person."

How about an average looking guy who is polite, has an interesting life and can hold a good, fun conversation? I can definitely fuck that!

[Sluthater]

When I was 18 looks were #1 on my list. If I were single again they would be around #5 or #6. So long as they had nice teeth and weren't morbidly obese we're cool. It boils down to 2 things: Lifestyle and core values. To sum it up a homebody with a low penis count and a high credit score. Everything else is negotiable.

[Anonymous]

I think both are important.

I wouldn't even consider dating an unattractive person or someone with shit personality.

The first thing I see is attractiveness. So I look around and see all the attractive girls. Then I get to know all of them and choose the girl with the best personality.

[ShadowUnicorneTears]

Personality. Attractive people can still have bad genes by the way.
The hottest guy I dated was the worst person I met. I'd rather be with someone not that great looking than a monster and and an abuser like he was. Also to go with last post, attractive people can also have hidden issues that can be just as bad for your children.

[fueledbythc]

My taste in looks is questionable to a lot of guys as i like big noses, taller women and she could be a little thicker. That is what would make me be a little creepy in my opinion staring a lot.

My current crush is short, amazing body, a bit of a sexy bad girl look. Her personality is what is making me interested in her. she's sweet and nice as well as knowing she's a strong and independant woman. A good presence and personality can make the biggest influence in attraction for myself.