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Nice guys don't finish last (Page 4)
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The nice guy in the picture is also convincingly tell, so he was getting the girl because of his height or because he is nice guy? I would go with both. I agree that there is an differentiation between real nice guys and fake nice guys, real nice guys are nice not only to try and get something, they are nice by default. Girls that are looking for jerks are usually don't worth turning into bad for them. The most reasonable appeal of an bad boy is actually strength much more then danger and "adventures", being strong is manly, so naturally it's attractive to many girls, but an man don't really have to be evil to be strong, it's possible to be good and strong at the same time, and in this case the nice guy is upgraded to an "knight in shining armor". :)
tvtropes.org/.../KnightInShiningArmor
Nice article. You are right.
Negging never really works with women, they eventually reciprocate with the notorious "bitch shield" and shit tests that can throw a fake confident man off balance.
I find the best way to get girls is not caring about rejection, being and enjoying yourself, making good eye contact, smiling, being genuinely nice, being a good listener, taking a genuine interest in women to build rapport, and being a gentleman pays off way more, plus a bit of leg pulling and teasing in a non-obtrusive way also does the trick.
No my amazing man is a nice guy he loves me for me heats me first and not ever once asked for sex he is saving him self for his wedding day he is sweet to everyone he can't even heart a fly he is the most handsome man alive I always pick my friends from the heart so if there not good to me why even be there friend I was my bfs friend for the longest time before he told me he had fillings for me but when I did I was so happy I love him so much and he didn't finish last because he will be the first I marry and the last I'll be with
I wish y'all the best. I've seen marrying young works if it is based on good values. But being a virgin at 18 is not a big deal in my generation. Maybe in todays world. I am a 44 year old virgin who passed up numerous times. I even had a girl take all her clothe off in front of me. I am not proud of being a virgin. That would be like saying I'm proud of not committing a crime. Because most of the situations were inappropriate.
By they way, I am seeing a psychologist for PTSD. She doesn't even know I'm a virgin because no one would believe me and I'd just be labeled a liar.
I had a stripper friend. She was the prettiest stripper in the best club in town. She was a ex stewardess, but became a stripper temporarily because she followed a guy to my hometown. Right after her boyfriend broke up and left town, she went to the clubs and had ten guys huddling around her. She told me to take her home and light a cigarette. She wanted me to have sex with her. But I didn't. She was drunk.
I tried the friends first routine because someone advised me to. Backfired. The girl became jaded and hurt. Sometimes being forthcoming is better. She used to say friends forever. She is married now. And I heard she wanted to make amends. Don't know if the info is true.
@Jjjoooggg All I can and will say when the time is appropriate is, "you can chose to believe it or not that I'm a virgin at my age."
I think the reason everyone thinks girls don't like nice guys is as mentioned, the definition of a nice guy. I mean the guys who come off as nice as probably too nice and to top many people. Girls like attention so they are more impressed by a bad boy type who shows their nice side only to them. As a girl obviously I want a guy who is nice , but that I think is something you learn when you get to know them because the appearance of being nice often does not show the truth. True kindness is different than being know as a nice guy, that's it.
it doesn't exist nice guy or bad boy. everyone has different personalities
I've had a lot to say about this issue. What I continually hear from girls and many guys is that "fake" nice guys are not pretending to be nice to get sex. Rather, they are polite and thoughtful guys who then feel like that their behavior entitles them to a relationship with the girl they show kindness towards. Part of that entitlement is the expecting girlfriends who are more attractive than they are. When they are turned away, they become embittered. Girls who experience this do not consider them nice and even question their original sincerity.
My advice has been that nice guys should be open to date equally nice girls who are no more attractive than they are. I also advice that girls who are tired of jerks should take the quiet and genuine guys a lot more seriously even if they are less attractive or charming.
So, all this is to say that the author (as apposed to 'all women' for which there seems to be a claim to speak for by the statement "So, to all the real nice guys: we, girls, want you.") wants a true Gentleman. Which would be someone who is decorous and observes contemporary etiquette. One who (as the Vogue Book of Etiquette at least would have it) always strives conduct themselves in a manner that displays a genuine concern for the well being and the feelings of others.
Here is the thing about that... A True Gentleman desires only a True Lady. So, if this is really what any women out there seek. It is not something that is just going to find you. You have to work for it. Very few things in life just drop into your lap. And, simply stumbling upon a man who fits this mold. And, is also interested in you as a prospect, is equivalent to being the sole winner of a lottery jackpot, if you are not first and foremost a Lady in any real sense of the word.
My bestfriend is a girl and it is a gift in many ways and also hell at the same time, we're always together and she's a little sister to me and a lot of insecure guys don't get that. I've seen every guy from douche, nice guy and even guy friends of mine who would go crazy for her, act like some kind of NICE GUY and plan schemes to make me and her separate but our friendship is strong. she gives them the "play hard to get test." Which makes them give up or reveal their NICE GUY schemes.
it's just funny how these guys act like nice guys, make friends with her, then me and after seeing a pic on instagram of me and her at her house. They all give me the demon look all week and spread rumors that I also wanna be in her pants. I didn't even know they were called pants when we became bestfriends in 1st grade and now were in college.
"We want someone who is capable of spending cute nights with us instead of going out with friends and doing drugs. We want someone who would hold us and comfort us instead of ripping the clothes off at every given chance. We want someone who would be loyal to us and we do not someone who is just 'popular'."
PROVE IT! Your words have no substance! I can do all that, except, actually support you financially, but you, are more interested in seeing what finances you can get from me, whilst you go out and do drugs being unfaithful, as you seek your next tool to sponge off.
... And I'm not just talking of the females that can't support themselves, which I do what I can for, even the ones that are making 3 figures, and could support an entire family, are more interested in being out, unfaithful, doing drugs, yet controlling the mate, as if he shouldn't be allowed to do the same, not if he's not also making 3 figures himself. It's just a big ego game, in which people get treated like objects.
Even the females that I opened the relationship with, meaning, you can see other people, just don't leave me in the dark about where we stand, even those females must be driven by ego, looking to hurt and lie. I don't even go out anymore, haven't in years. You all can keep your evil ego/domination game.
Nevermind, I go off on stupid rants everyday.
If you find unfaithful women, there are MANY unfaithful guys as well. Guys generally go fir bitches as well. Once they get dumped, they start saying that they want a nice girl.. This phenomena is on both side. AND I don't need to fucking prove anything to you. You can live in your little bubble that girls reject you because you are tooooo nice (Wow!) Even when the main reason might be something else that you are not willing to face.
As someone who considers himself a nice guy i do believe we finish last. But thats ok as i set the bar much higher. I probably know enough tricks to make a girl hopelessly in love and ready to be mine. The thing is that i use this knowledge to help her instead, by making sure she is interested but also by letting her know i want her to love me for who i am just like i love her for who she is. I dont want her to love me just because i make her feel so good.
Everyone around me had someone already so in that sense i finish last. But if you look at the knowledge of love and the genuineness / maturity of the relationships, counting only the ones based on true love i am not far behind at all.
I'd agree. Women, and people in general, are turned off when guys are nice to them because they're trying to get something in return, such as a date, sex, relationship, etc. Never give anyone, especially a woman you're romantically interested or involved with, a gift if you're expecting something in return from her. Doesn't matter if it's an expensive piece of jewelry, or just a simple compliment. Women can definitely tell if you're being fake and complimenting them to get a date or a phone number, or if you're complimenting them because you compliment people often and genuinely like their perfume, or whatever it is you complimented. And besides, dropping subtle hints and being unwilling to take the risk of asking for what you want is feminine behavior and women won't be attracted to you if you act like that.
I'm a true nice guy, but my luck with girls is so horrible, that I've never had a girlfriend before or been kissed or anything. There is always a pretty girl here and there, but she is either taken, has a bad attitude about things, dont have any morals at all... it's always something. I mean where are all the normal pretty girls? Even if there is a girl I like, I never end up seeing her again, lack of transportation... it's always something. I blame Obama 100%! If there was no taxes and stuff from him, I/we would have money... and therefore have more money to do things like to be able to drive around and meet girls.
If the Bush's generation had not spilled the most exorbitant piles of public money on dirty wars, Obama would not have faced the biggest debt in public finance EVER in the USA. Stupidity shows off, by blaming the one who tries to clean up the primitive shit of earlier generations, and trying to get USA at the FIRST footstep of solid social structures, that prevale in the WHOLE REST of the civilised world, since ages... Grow up, Amerika !
You are seriously blaming your president for your lack of success with girls? Amazing. Cheers for the quick laugh mate.
No, blame you, you should start giving some love to the ugly girl, and she will help you build your confidence until you start getting looks from other girls.
Gosh all 3 of you, seriously... Giwreh... What time 1 month ago were you born? and Ajr, if I have no money and fuel cost $4 instead of $1 per gallon how can I get anywhere when I already didn't have much money to begin with? Fuel went up when Obama became president. There is this thing called the domino effect when one thing effects the other which effects the other which effects the other and that thing/person is Obama and anyone with common sense knows that.
well, I wish I could say that most girls really do like nice guys. But, it's quite the opposite. I'm an introverted, depressed kid with chronic anxiety due to the way I was treated by my schoolmates growing up. It's caused serious problems and I can no longer control my panic attacks and I can not get anyone, let alone a girl, to even be friends with me. I also obtained trust issues from my parents and I always think there's someone out there that's following me, watching me etc... These trust issues have made it even harder for me to make friends. so, I've become that one kid in every high school that sits alone, doesn't talk unless a teacher talks to then, and never looks up from the floor.
It's fucked me up. Between the way girls have treated me and the way guys have, it's destroyed my self esteem beyond repair.
So instead of trying to find a girl right now, you should go to therapies. Panic attacks and depression are serious issues and very few people are willing to associate themselves with people having such issues. I have been through depression as well so I know how it feels.
I can't afford therapy. The panic attacks aren't terrible so I just walk away and listen to music for about an hour and I'm calm again.
its a wonder to me how this nice guy vs bad boy thing is still this big issue today. It's become very clear over the years that girls want nice guys who are honest with their intent.
If you want a girl, you have to subtly or not so subtly state that you want to pursue something more with her very early... and if it doesn't happen then you have to move on. That does imply the guy needs a level of confidence, which is also something women want in a guy, because it makes them feel more secure/comfortable. The edge that some bad guys have is that they are at least honest with their intent. Some nice guys though are under the misconception that to get a girl to sleep with you, you must do a certain number of nice things for her... storing up these sex credits that you hope to cash in on after like months of labour. That's just not the way it works
I wish more girls were like you. But when you say that us girls want you nice guys, you are only speaking for yourself and a small percentage of women. The harsh reality of it is that us nice guys will never be truly appreciated wether we are 15 or 30. And whenever i try to be kind and loving, im accused of trying to get in her pants. I respect you and the people that agree with you, but women like you are very hard to find. Thanks for showing your appreciation :)
I understand it. I write the MyTakes only if I practice the same thing. The percentage might be low but as women grow up, they become more mature and take more sensible decisions when it comes to dating. It's really sad that some guys here are just so butt hurt on this take and rather than appreciating their own goodness they are calling girls fake.
Thats exactly what i was trying to avoid when i wrote my opinion, i didn't wanna sound like one of those guys who girls owe sex to, just because of how nice they are. As I've grown in experience I've learned not expect much from being nice, but its who i am anyway and i shouldn't complain about it. But i really appreciated the take, and i hope u r right about girls maturing. And if nothing else, i hope it spreads the message to these girls, so that they can learn to appreciate a guy who treats them how they should be treated.
(fake) nice guys get: no pussy, no fun, and a lot of bitter resentment
nice guys get: used pussy, (possibly) screaming kids, have to spend most of the money they make on said pussy and kids, deal with mood swings, arguments, and the wonderful headache of dealing with trying to juggle a job, marriage and kids.
assholes get: pussy
what does pussy lead to though? c'mon it's kids...
I'm just making a comparison here. Where exactly is the incentive to be nice to women? They've given men no reason to do so in the grand scheme of things. Anybody who at least has enough brains to use condoms when having sex with random women has little to no risk at having kids.
playing devil's advocate is fun
So... If a guy who kisses your ass isn't a nice guy because he isn't aggressive he isn't a nice guy.
Great article, it definitely changed how I think about what women want...
Shy nice guys don't want to get in your pants. They just have to realize that being so vulnerable isn't attractive to women.
I get tired of explaining this.
Women want someone who is hard to get, they want an anomaly.
A nice guy who is ignoring them basically.
This shit makes me so tired, it's enough to turn a guy gay.
But then again, you can never get tired of the gender rat race, it goes on and on and on.
One minute you are sensitive, the other minute you aren't masculine enough.
No wonder guys aren't dating or getting married anymore.
Prepare for a bunch of cheating assholes gals.
I think we have to admit that many women are just not capable of sensible choices in this area!
nice guys finish last because they buy into this type of clichéd blue pill nonsense. However, ladies in this day and age have a little more self respect and thus scheming fake ass holes will almost certainly never score with their desired mates. In my limited experience, being a jerk and being open and upfront about it, is a good strategy. That way, only girls who really like you will stick around, weeding out all the fake girls who only pretend to be nice. And this makes sure that when he guy does behave nicely, the value of the gesture is not cheapened.
I enjoyed reading it.
awesomecommentphotos.files.wordpress.com/.../554992_1404951159723363_2009883807_n.jpg
The goat god has spoken.
The problem with lads and "nice guys finishing last" is that there seems to be this idea that being nice means you should have girls lining up for you, or that girls should be attracted to you just because you're nice to them.
Being nice just means you respect yourself and you respect others. Simple as that. That's how I was brought up, but no way do I expect that to get me a girl. It just means that whenever a girl does come around, hopefully I'll be a keeper.
By the sounds of it, you are a keeper. Keep the rational mentality strong, my brotha.
True enough. By reading some comments here, I am amazed. Losing your identity and getting a girl is much important for some guys than being true to their real self.
I was just like you when I was young. Give it some time, you'll get abused in ways you can't imagine, and you'll be as jaded as all the rest of us miserable guys replying to this. Sad, but true.
You've summed up some things I've been constantly trying to tell some delusional dumbasses on here.
Nice guy =/= unattractive.
Nice guy =/= a needy, clingy, overly emotional whiner.
Grown women do not chase after "bad boys" -- little girls do.
then i conclude that most women will never grow, for ever little girls
^ 31 years old and you're beyond naive. Disappointing.
I don't get why men have this retarded image of a "nice guy" being ugly, emotionally scarred, clingy and whiny. There's a difference between a respectable gentleman and someone who clearly needs psychological help.
Indeed. It amazes me that I started this article by writing that the term nice guy is misused now and yet so many guys behaved the same way due to which I wrote this take. Some guys can't ever understand girls.
I'm willing to bet that some of these "men" can't get a date for other reasons so they hide behind this "nice guy" charade to make themselves better. "I'm such a nice guy! She rejected me because she only likes bad boys!" No, you simpleton, she could've rejected you because you were ugly or creepy or emotionally imbalanced.