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Nice guys don't finish last (Page 5)
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I don't know. I get told I'm the nicest guy at times. I don't go around telling people I'm nice. I don't consider myself nice though. I'm just me. I don't start shit with people unless they fuck with me.
That being said, I still feel like being told you're nice has a negative stigma to it. For example, I've been told im the nicest guy but the girl didn't feel the spark and I've been told that a few times. It makes me feel like others think I'm a pushover or have no confidence. And I think people lump genuinely nice guys in with fake nice guys.
This is just from my experience though.
That's how I started the article. 'NICE GUY has become the most misinterpreted term. It has now bewn used to let down a guy. It's wrong. Being good/nice human being is not something to be ashamed of.
I agree with this. Asker if this was the point of your post I'm sorry. I read it differently
Who do you agree with?
@thatcomplicatedgirl I'm starting to learn that it's true unfortunately that being nice, whether genuine or fake is more of a turn off to women than being a jerk. By jerk, I don't mean being abusive but as of late the girls I had less interest in and would ignore for a few days or not reach out to as often were more into me. And the ones I was more interested in would flake even if I wasn't overly contacting them or smothering them. Sad but true.
So in order to qualify as a nice guy, wanting to "get into her pants" is not allowed? Seems a bit unreasonable.
On a more serious note? I'm not sure women realize how many breaks they get sometimes just because of that. Girls can say or do some downright crazy stuff and a guy who's attracted to them will just write it off. I mean, it shouldn't be the ONLY reason he's with you, but it's only natural that sexual attraction will play an integral part in how you approach any prospective relationship. Having that as a motive does not make you a jerk.
@thatcomplicatedgirl
Very good take! What you mention is the ideal scenario.
But the reality is (usually) quite different. Agreed, nice guys don't finish last. In fact, they never finish. They get knocked out of the race midway by the stereotypical 'bad guy'.
It's actually the overly confident guys who are the ones scoring on most of the cuties on this planet. Gurls these days Juz wanna have "fun" so when a guy is very fun to them, they fell for that guy cuz he knows how to charm and cast their LUV spells on a bunch of these nsive little gurls. Confident guys can get any gurls they like. They can charm the others like they charm u. That's the kinda guy that every cuties crave for without expecting the negative outcome. That's why they get cheated on cuz they only go for the "confident" guys.
Nice guys can still be confident. Not all guys who are confident about themselves are assholes. I think us nice guys would be better of in the long run if we learned to be more confident so that we can hav a chance to put our kind, loving nature to use.
@frost_byte im talken about why them cuties leave them nice guys for another guy cuz he's "fun" and can charm them. While most says that nice guys are boring. Guys who are "fun" dump their azz and blame on all the male gender smh
I don't really know, this world just gets weirder and weirder everyday, I seem to be, according to what this says, a nice guy. But that's not my point, my point is that I rather stay under a rock, and that's because I've been hurt so much before, way too much, to the point that I always feel so broken.
Often I wonder, how come all of those jerks just have amazing girls, girls I would give my life for. I'll never know most likely. Sounds a bit depressing but that's how it has been for me, I haven't given up, but as they say, I need to get from under my rock right?
I have also been hurt due to my own goodness a lot, but it doesn't mean I will stop doing good. Don't worry about those girls who stick with those guys because they WILL learn their lesson the hard way, but there will be some girls who want exactly what you have.
This is BS. If anything a girl should choose the fake nice guy over a complete asshole but even then they (most of the time) would still pick the asshole. It's the actual nice guys who get tossed aside along with very few of the fake nice guys. This post actually made me laugh
"Since they are not being themselves, they come off as clingy, needy and not charming at all."
I disagree. Sometimes guys are nervous, and come off needy or clingy because they've had a really hard life, think the girl is perfect, and need love and affection.
Agreed. Arrogant narcissistic bitter resentful losers finish last. Nice guys are too busy getting laid to be any of those things... and most real nice guys are humble and don't go around talking about how nice they are lmao
True enough! :)
LMFAO.
a nice will hardly ever get laid in his lifetime. Even in mariage he will lack sex. Since women choose nice guys to marry at a much later date and they are picked for materialistics reasons, their women will fake beeing atracted to them and have sex with them for a while but at some point they will not need to take anymore and stop it altogheter. its proove that its in marriage that you get the LESS laid.
Oh well, this SENSEI or whatever has gone a little retard after reading the Mytake, and is spamming every comment here. Poor asshole :))
yeah look at all the "nice guys" thumbing me down. I guess this is how languages evolve, in 100 years "nice" will mean angry bitter and sexually frustrated.
Yes. Most of the guys who have commented sound utterly bitter and far from what we call good or nice
I find what works for me, or has for the last two relationships, just be as nice as you can all the time as you would and don't aim for a relationship with the girl, aim for trust because a friend for life is better than a girlfriend for a couple months
Have to disagree I'm nice and I never get anywhere with a girl they just tend to friend zone me even if I like them. I don't like being forward with girls I like because I don't want to come across as a dick but at the same time it gets me nowhere lol
I don't really like this article...
Beyond the fact that being nice or not don't make you more or less attractive, it only works for "cute guys" or "hot stud" type, men do exactly the same though when they complain about the fact women don't have to approach, the truth is, HOT women don't have to approach or women most of us would like to date don't have to approach !
Let's be honest, we, guys, would also fall for a nice girl, but she also has to attract us in the first place ! The nice "ugly" girl won't get much love from the hot guys she's aiming at !
Would you fall a super nice, sweet, genuine, kind but short, below average (in the looks department) and with a low social status guy?
All of this really sucks, we're raised to believe in equality, but life is NOT fair, some people will always have it way easier than others and still be total jerks ! We have to accept it.
Well I see where you're coming from and it might not make a difference but I have a friend who's an average looking female and she's dating a really nice guy who's super obese, like 300-400 lbs and is in highschool.
I have to agree that physical attraction plays a part. Attraction is a big thing when it comes to relationship. But things can happen. Surprising things! But below average people can also get love. Maybe by beautiful people. Maybe by average people. Maybe by below average people.
Nice guys can never truly express them selves anymore because of the massive stereotypes surrounding bad boys these days. As much as I would like to let my inner nice guy shine when I meet women, it's too hard, I always default to my average dude persona (I never go bad boy style because I think girls deserve respect and being a "bad boy" shows that you do not respect nor care for the girl). I hope one day I will be able to return to my nice guy persona infront of women without fear of being ridiculed or called a try hard or softie.
Your post is refreshing and gave me hope about women, thanks :)
I would have to disagree on some points, personally I'm a nice guy and when I'm interested in a particular woman I show all my interest and i'm being very kind to her, and that's from my nature, but I end up being rejected even if the girl is mature and marriage material
they want to give you HOPE so you dont jump off the bandwagon aka the friendzone or the " please wear the cape and be captain save a ho for a single mother and her ex jerk's kid. Dude trust me they do no want us. they never did when they were younger. they expect us to wait around when they had anuff fun on the cock carroussel to give them stability, money status and raise a family aka offer her a kid of her own, i say HER kid cause if you inform yourself about the current divorce laws i can promess you it will always be HER kid never both your kid. As long as you will hope and believe in their lies you will be usable by them, you can be manipulated. I dont expect to believe me by word but please inform yourself about relationships, marriage , divorce , laws, the dating scene , hypergamy, gold diggers, tying a guy by unwanted pregnancys. dude the dating scene and relationships this days is a real nightmare.
@SENSEI Don't worry if you don't want to be with any girl because no nice girl would like a misogynist like you :)
I think there are a lot of women who could benefit from what you have to say here. In young age brackets, real nice guys can actually struggle a little finding a woman because a lot are out to play a game with love and are afraid to get mixed up in that mess. But after some years and a little growing up, someone eventually sees them from what they are and they disappear off the market...
"The good guys get what they came for." -- Aqua
Your description of "nice guy" isn't even the accurate definition of the guys who can't get/keep a girl. This just seems like what you see as the ideal guy in general.
Also, some of the "nice guy" qualities you mentioned, are a bad idea if done consistently long term.
Can you please tell me the qualities which are bad idea if done consistently?
"Spending cute nights" first of all, that's just what YOU want lol. But it's a bad idea to do that whenever the girl asks, and the "hold us and comfort us". Do girls generally want those things? Yes, but as a guy, there needs to be stretches where you deny a girl those things.
In the third paragraph up you pretty much described "nice guys finishing last". Girls who ignore them in favour of jerks, then after a string of failed relationships realising that she needs a nice dependable guy for stability - that's the whole point, they ignore the good guys until they need them later on - all they get is sloppy seconds. And the majority of them are genuinely nice guys despite all this stuff about how guys who complain are always fake nice guys.
And you did not get that I described that not all girls are like that. SOME GIRLS. It's upto you to cry over those immature girls or to pursue the sensible ones.
I lost the girl of my dreams, a 32 year old women (15 years younger than me) because I was nice... giving, caring, available and basically someone who never played games with her. She likes a challenge and I wasn't one... that's because I fell in love with her, and she didn't have the ability to fall for me.
If a guy is being nice it is because he likes u and wants to be with u (m not talking about perverts who want to get in ur pants)
This actually shows how feminist u can be
You are clearly saying that we like u nice guys but we will put u in the friendzone when we r young and date jerks
Are the guy's feeling not ur concern just because he is nice is he supposed to be taken for granted?
The girls sometimes do act selfish and boys act clingy
The thing both need to change their psychology
Just because a guy is nice to a girl doesn't mean she us supposed to love him and be in a relationship with him.
But similarly girls should understand that if a guy is nice to u doesn't it doesn't mean wants to get in ur pants.
If he is always around u it means he likes u and cares for u
He likes to be with u.
Try not to think him as "Clingy".
Try to see it from. His point of view
Try not to friendzone him it will l break him.
This was from a guy's point of view.
(:
"This actually shows how feminist u can be" - Feminist means wanting equality, otherwise read the new MyTake on feminism to clear your doubts.
And regarding your question on taking nice guys granted.
That's what I have written.
Now, it's also true that SOME girls go after jerks. (By some, I don't mean all.)
All the women who are genuinely looking for a long term relationship or marriage would prefer some who can charm her and respect her and she can actually see her future with him. (By this line, I mean girls who are sensible and wise and don't want to just date for the sake of dating but wants to have a LTR and want to get married as well.)
Moreover, CLINGLY is not being with someone all the time. When you like someone, you WANT to spend your entire time with them.
CLINGY is when a guy showers me with compliments for every second instead of holding a normal conversation. We girls don't need to complimented every waking hour of our lives. You complimenting us once in a while would make your compliments more genuine.
CLINGY is when a guy doesn't take the clue that we don’t like him and he continues forcing himself on girl by claiming that one day he will make her his girlfriend.
CLINGY is when a guy refused to accept that a girl likes someone else and ‘claims’ that she will fall for him and so instead of pursuing a normal friendship like he promised to, he turns into obsessive loverboy.
Its very typical for you to take the only thing you can find in what he said that can be offensive and try use it against him. Stop acting like you know every person on the planet and just realise your generalising the shit out of everyone and everything. Take his point and understand there is many other points like his, written by men and women. that means that you are also a generalisation to us. welcome to earth baby
Yc2K15 Generally I don't reply to bullshit, but it's very strange of you to support his reasoning. I have cleared out all the things he said that were certainly opposite of what I have stated in the article. The user clearly missed the whole point of this article. I am not here to change anyone's point of view though. Do as you wish. Think as you like. Me and some girls like me KNOW what we want, and it's not defined by an delusional guy's view that All girls are the same, and they just 'say' that they want a nice boy but can never accept one.
@Yc2K15
hey
lemme tell u something i just told u my views
and feminist are not the ones who want equality they are just a bunch of assholes who think women are a superior sex.
i believe in gender equality and i respect women from all my heart.
i just wanted to state that guys too have feelings and feel hurt girls act stupid and selfish
. I just don't understand that i guys treats u well cares for u and can't move with ur rejection is not a "REAL" nice guy
i just wanna tell u that guys don't really fall (Genuinely) for a girl that easily and get hurt real bad
try to tolerate him even if it's not easy for u.
Just suppose for a moment if u like this person (not necessarily be a guy) and care for him/her and can do any fucking thing for them does not like u , it is sure to hurt a lot, right?
please try to understand my point (i would'nt give a shit even if u don't)
and stop judging people "real" or "fake".
(:
Let's say if I like a guy, he didn't accept my proposal, then I won't go around saying that guys don't need a nice girl like me. That's what these 'fake' ones do. They stop respecting you as soon as you reject them. If you really like someone, even if you know their choices are wrong, you just don't call that person a bitch and go around, proclaiming what a bitch a girl is. Liking someone is not wrong. But respecting someone as long as you have feelings for them and on getting rejected stop respecting or being nice is wrong. Your goodness shouldn't be confined by someone's rejection.
I agree with u on this one point that the goodness shouldn't be confined by someone's reaction.
but saying that "REAL" nice guys move on and "FAKE" ones don't is not fair enough. :)
In reality the truth is that nice guys actually do, finish last (That's the ugly truth u need to admit)
And it's not my personal opinion i have seen many guys go through it.
maybe some nice guys are really lucky not to finish last but a majority of them do.
:)
I never said nice guys move on. Rejections are hard for everyone. But a guy who is truly good would never abuse you for rejecting him. Due to his feelings, he might still care for you and stay friends but he won't impose his feelings on you. Some guys claim to be innocent and nice but when you reject them, they say things like, "One day, you will love me" or stuff. They might not be harmful, but this attitude is wrong. One guy literally said to me that I don't deserve him when I rejected him. (I already like someone so why would I accept his proposal) and then he's always like, "I am good guy." Or "I'll make you mine someday" It's a little creepy.
I write takes on my experience. I like a good guy. My friends are in relationships with good guy. Yes, some girls love bad boys because of looks or popularity but those girls need some growing up to do.
Its kind of you to reply to my bullshshit as I have replied to a lot of yours : ). But seriously, your living in a fairytale. Do you even know what a nice guy is? its like you expect us to be robots and do as you command. I know loads of nice guys, who are also very attractive! they have the worst of trouble meeting women because they feel too scared confronting attractive women. I also know a few nice guys who I have witnessed be beaten up by a not so nice guy and the girlfriends of the nice guys actually went home with the bad guy. YEP just like you'd see in the jungle.
I think if you walk outside and take a look around and stop getting facts off web pages NERDS and GEEKS don't always finish last!! Successful men are the ones who win. You have also never Dated anyone which kind of makes your point less valid. your name describes you very well @thatcomplicatedgirl
@Yc2K15 It seems like you have flexibility to accept the point of views that are different from yours. I clearly see if from the way you are replying on other responses as well. Moreover, I am not in a relationship, but the thing here we are talking about is: Girls DO get attracted to nice guys. That's it. And those guys who can't confess their feelings are lacking in confidence. You must understand that like many other good characteristics, confidence is needed as well. And the girl who left the nice guy for a bad boy, I am sorry to hear that girls like these exist, but that's life. It IS unfair. You can't expect it to be fair all the time, but I believe in love as well. And if two people truly love each other, it's never on the basis of what a 'bad boy' a guy is, or how slutty the girl is.
You missed the confidence dimension, there are plenty of nice guys, but most of them have confidence problems and this is then misinterpreted as being creepy.
What I have seen is some women only start getting interested in nice guys, after divorcing 2 or 3 assholes first.
great write up, lucid!
also nice guys learn about realities of life the hard way from the fake nice girls.
the best possible outcome is if the real decent men and women can find each other, and the sooner the better, and less pain all around.
thank you for your really good points, this type of communication is why I come to this site.
its about truth, not just opinions or dogma.
please write more along these lines, so we can all learn together.
G