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Not Dating Unattractive Men...To me it's called "Being Realistic" (Page 2)
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I think it's crazy that anyone is dating someone because "it's ok to". Your points are great but it's hard to tell what direction you are heading. Perhaps you haven't found a true love? You never know what they are gonna look like, it doesn't matter if it's right.
I thought it was obvious? Never settle for something you don't want.. lol
Yeah but shit. Why wouldn't you? Doesn't everyone do that? What is wrong with people?
You kept it completely real lmao! I appreciate the honesty big time:) No one has the right to put anyone down for having standards. Some people call it good and bad chemistry but why settle for less than you want in life? You're right. It's not fair to anyone to be with someone and not be able to give them your best. Or be genuine.
Exactly! :D
Whomever tries to chastise you is living in Never Never Land and needs to be reasonable.
I completely agree... haha. I know that not everyone will find me attractive and that is fine. It won't hurt me.
All I'm trying to do is tell people why some people can't sleep with unattractive wo/men. Irrational idiots don't seem to understand that so... :D
Hahaha. Definitely not. :)
Thought I'd get in trouble with mods for that remark.
Hopefully not. I know some of my "posts" have been taken down for some reason. I don't know why... but probably because I cursed in them.
There was no other way for me to put it. Hope it stays up.
They'll try to say something if you go out with some disgusting guy too while trying to ignore your repulsion. Either way, people are going to say SOMETHING.
Exactly. It's pathetic to be honest... haha. That's why I don't care what people say. I made this Take to explain to some of those fools "why" some people aren't able to be with people they don't consider attractive.
Yes is in been realistic. No one ends up dating someone they find unattractive. My girlfriend is with me because she finds me extremely attractive otherwise she wouldn't date me, and I am with her because I find her extremely attractive also. Attractiveness is not only physical it can be emotional and intellectual therefore anyone who just guide their self by appearance and don´t see other things attractive beside that is: SHALLOW.
PRECISELY my point. Thank you for being a Rational Man compared to the others on here... haha. :)
And you are like a 4.
That's your opinion and that's fine. It doesn't bother me at all. I don't see myself as that. :)
Yeah it´s just my opinion, what matters is that you think about yourself.
is what...*
Sweet Jesus that was kinda fucked up to call her a four out of no where like woah. Wow internet folks these days
Well she looks like a 4 to me, to another guy she might be a 10.
Shallow doesn't necessarily imply right or wrong. It means lacking depth, like shallow waters.
And making looks a deal breaker right away, shallow is an applicable term, because you make your decision on very superficial criteria. The term superficial is also applicable here, it means being close to the surface. A superficial injury for example
I wish people would acknowledge that caring about looks is shallow and superficial, in the very definitions of the term. If you say I don't want to date an overweight guy/girl that's shallow. It is
Now I've nvr had sex, but i would imagine, you're right. Sex is very different with a man that is hollywood attractive. I would want it all the time, whereas with a man that isn't, it'd be more like a chore. That's just how it is. Most guys fall somewhere in between tho. Is that shallow? Ya absolutely
I would disagree. If someone didn't want to date someone they aren't attracted to because they cannot sexually perform, that isn't shallow. That is something that someone can not help.
If someone didn't want to date someone that they found unattractive simply BECAUSE that person was unattractive to them, that's completely different to me.
But that's fine. :)
Caring about looks is not shallow. Caring ONLY about looks is shallow.
interesting point of view nalaa. You made me think
I've been saying this @nalaa. Shallow is shallow doesn't necessarily mean good or bad. It is what it is
What I think people don't understand is that beauty is more subjective than we think.
I can't tell you how many times my friends have found guys I find unattractive attractive and vice versa.
So when someone says they want to date someone THEY find attractive they're not saying that they will only date a super model that 90% of people will agree is attractive.
Everyone who is offended by this post is insecure and ridiculous. For every person there's at least one person who finds them attractive. Being offended by this is pointless. And take owner, the people who are saying you can't want to date an attractive person because they personally don't find you attractive are stupid. What they think of your appearance is irrelevant. Who's to say the guys you find attractive aren't attracted to you too?
I also find it funny how its only the guys who are so deeply offended.
So basically, the original poster is saying that they won't sleep with someone that they don't find attractive. I think that this is totally fine. Someone that one person finds attractive may not be attractive to someone else. Or if someone isn't attractive, there is probably someone out there that likes them based on personality or something like that.
If the original poster does not find someone attractive, that doesn't make the person unattractive, its just that she doesn't find him attractive.
And this is all true for everyone in some sense. Like some people can't date someone if who has a horrible personality even if they are attractive. For others it the other way around.
Exactly.
@hahahayouthot she also talked about dating and relationships, not just sex. Nothing is wrong with what she said. I am just correcting you.
... The unrealistic part is being average or subpar in appearance, yet expecting to be the wife of Adonis or husband to someone like Beyonce. No, no, no.
Most people tend to attract those on their level of attractiveness, as far as physical appearance goes, unfortunately... There are people who don't see that and assume that rather than being 'a 6', they're [inside of that brain of theirs] a 'solid 8' and therefore deserving of someone who is an 8+... Nope. Doesn't work that way.
Plus, there's the personality factor. Could just be me, but I've fallen for plenty of girls and guys who didn't float my boat physically -- At the start, but that I became sexually attracted to, because we either had a lot in common or I found them to have beautiful qualities.
"... The unrealistic part is being average or subpar in appearance, yet expecting to be the wife of Adonis or husband to someone like Beyonce. No, no, no. "
Exactly. But no one was advocating that. And what other people consider you to be--whether it's a 2 or an 8--doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is if you're attracting people in your range, what you think of yourself, and what you as well as the other person want.
well niiicee!
Since when Is it wrong to have a "type"? Are we not allowed to be attracted to who we are attracted to? For whatever reason there may be, you are allowed to not find someone attractive. I'm so of people being all pissy just b/c someone doesn't want you back. Rejection is part of dating and life in general. Get over it!
Hahaha.
Honesty, I think your sex drive is highly interwoven with your sight and that's something you have no control over.
As someone whose dated guys of all looks, and for a long time had had the best sex and emotional connection with the least attractive-I can vouch that you can become whipped to someone you once looked over.
But no hate. We all just want to be happy.
It absolutely is. There's nothing that can be done.
For me personally, personality contributes to attraction. I've been attracted to guys who weren't at all "good looking". There have severa instances where I had no attraction to a guy at all, but once we got to know each other, I instantly found him attractive.
And that's great for you. Unfortunately there are some people like me who are not like that. There's nothing we can do.
The guy can have the most perfect personality in the world... and yet I couldn't bring myself to sleep with him in a relationship.
Nothing can really be done. I'm glad that it's like that for you and many people though. :)
@RationalLioness Yes and it's because you're shallow. The funny thing is that you yourself aren't attractive enough to get the 'hot' guys that you desire.
@Song4TheBroken
Irrationality runs well within in you. You clearly can't read because I never said that I was able to get the guy that I posted. But you're dumb enough to assume that's what I said. :)
@RationalLioness That's quite ironic because clearly YOU'RE the one who was difficulty with reading. When did I say you were aiming to attract the guy in the pic you posted? Here's the answer, I DIDN'T. I said you want HOT guys. Now what's a synonym for the word hot? Oh yeah, attractive. Which is the word you used. Like I said, lower your standards because you most likely won't get the men you desire. Unless you get lucky and find someone who is way 'out of your league' and isn't as shallow as you are.
@Song4TheBroken
"you yourself aren't attractive enough to get the 'hot' guys that you desire."
I took this as insinuating that the guys I would consider "hot" would be the guys like the one I posted.
Attractive does NOT automatically mean "hot". What's so hard to understand about such a simple concept? Are people really this foolish?
The rest of your diatribe was an inane judgment. You need to work on yourself before trying to tell someone else what they should do... lol. Just because you don't find me attractive doesn't mean that I'm not. :D It just means a complete stranger who doesn't have his own pic up to be judged by others thinks that I'm unattractive... and why would I care since that stranger is irrational as has been seen? :)
@RationalLioness @Song4TheBroken Hey! You guys just chill! Attraction is key is a relationship. Looks, personality, intellect, etc all just play into it. Every person is different when it comes to attraction. If she doesn't date a guy just because she isn't attracted to him doesn't necessarily mean that she's shallow. If she just disregarded the person completely solely off of looks then that's one thing, but sometimes you just don't click with people. There have been extremely physically attractive guys that I've talked to but wasn't really attracted overall because we just didn't click so a full attraction never developed. You shouldn't force yourself to try and like anyone. Let's all chill. There was no reason to attack anyone based on their looks. CAN WE PLEASE JUST BE AT PEACE AND REALIZE THAT EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AS FAR AS WHAT CAN ATTRACT THEM? GEEZ, NO NEED TO SLICE EACH OTHER'S THROATS. You're blowing up my notifications. Take this to PM please.
What you say is common sense and is exactly what I've been saying all along. I won't comment any further on your comment just to respect you.
@RationalLioness So attractive doesn't mean hot? What exactly does it mean then?
As a man I will admit I use to be like this but experience as taught my heart to look past the physical looks of a woman.
My current girlfriend was actually just a friend before and she is what this article talks about. She requires big muscle on a man deep voice pretty much the meat head you see at the gym. She has been divorced twice and has her heart broken.
We both have a what she says is the best chemistry she has ever had and she tells me I'm the greatest boyfriend she has ever had. She has a strong emotional connection with me and is in love with me. The physical part is ask me to lift weights lol I do a little I'm mostly a swimmer so I'm more slim built but she is happy w that and the sex is good.
Peeps can want who they want and who they feel they deserve.
People whom act as if physical aspects don't matter... don't understand the basics of attraction.
but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that can mean everyone is beautiful to someone.
It's not unreasonable at all to want to be with someone who ya physically find desirable... its logical and simple
Take owner.
you and I have had out run ins in the past... clear to say we don't exactly see eye to eye on many things.
But some of the chaps commenting are being fucking stupid as shit.
Hope ya don't take their bitter remarks as anything more than that.
ya made a good and valid point.
Our*
fuck sake
No worries. I'm not pissed... lol. They have their opinions and that's fine. There isn't a need to be rude though.
If I instigated it, I completely understand. But I haven't really unless if they're truly offended by this Take.
I tried to date a guy I wasn't very physically attracted to, and it just went up in smoke. It didn't work at all. I though like you said, that maybe the attraction would grow. but it never did...
I think what people find attractive varies. like I have a friend, and I feel like who she finds attractive, I don't whatsoever. and who I find attractive she doesn't really find attractive.
Exactly. For some people it works, for others it doesn't.
I've always hated when people say "Looks don't matter to me" because it's not true. It matters to everyone. If someone who was 400 lbs with pimples all over their face came up to you and asked you out, what would you say? No. Exactly. Looks is what attracts you to someone, you aren't going to approach someone you find unattractive. Personality is what makes you stay with that person. Personality is probably more important but that doesn't mean looks don't matter at all
No. It doesn't matter to some people. There are some women who will date you even though they think that you're not attractive at all or there is SOMETHING about you that is. And there are chubby chasers and women who find themselves just like the guy you described.
I think most people are as you described though.
@RationalLioness he is not talking about the people that do like overweight people in his example, he is talking about people that are not attracted to those people physical features. He is right though everyone cares about looks to an extent. Just because someone is willing to go out with a person they think at first is average looking it doesn't mean they don't care about looks, to not care about looks at all, means you are even willing to date someone that YOU think is super super below average looking, I can set so many examples. If you won't go out with a guy that is not shaved, you care about looks, etc. Every single non blind person can think of someone of the sex they are attracted to, that they won't date due to physical features. I can keep setting examples.
I do think you are a 7 or 8, just like what you think of yourself. And I appreciate your honesty. Everyone wants a 10 but people have to be realistic if they are not a 10 themselves. You are realistic for not going after guys that are 9s and 10s. There are women and men that are 9s and 10s that are ok with dating people that are below 9s' and 10s' but that is rare. You are attractive, but not SUPER attractive in my opinion. I think you are cute, preety, but not hot but of course there are guys out there that think you are a 9 or 10 or whatever and nothing is wrong with that.
I absolutely agree with you. People DO care about looks. I believe that the ones who say that they DON'T are lying. Humans choose their partners based on looks. Of course that personality also counts, but looks are important.
You couldn't have said it better.
@menina I love it when females admit they care about looks, instead of bullshitting and saying they don't care about looks. Every non blind person cares about looks to an extent.
Yes, exactly, we're attracted for what we see, it's natural.
I hate when people say they don't care about looks. @ManuelMarquez
@menina exactly.
Love is formed when two people who are looking for the same thing find it in each other.
Anyway I think sex is overrated. It clouds your judgement, because lust instantly ups the attractiveness of anybody. And it leaves a mark on you - your future interactions with that person or other persons is somewhat affected because you have had sex. The way you view your own relationships will always be tainted by that mark.
Attractive women who do not pride themselves on being attractive, and unattractive men who do not punish themselves for being unattractive will probably go well together. I really believe character and personality is the core of a relationship.
"They should be given a chance by people who don't really care about looks". Absolutely spot on.
How many women are truly like that though? Every woman that I've come across that has said "personality over looks" still finds the "unattractive" man attractive physically in some way.
And the quote is common sense... but I don't understand why many don't get it.
Maybe those women started liking the man after a while, and when you like someone, they start to look good to you/you start to want them physically too.
It's interesting you didn't say men who don't pride themselves on looks that end up well with women they don't not find attractive. I think bc as a guy you just think men are entitled to attractive women. Period.
Not priding yourself on looks just means you're not vain and a pleasanter person to be around... Doesn't mean you don't want to be physically attracted to who you're physically with. It also doesn't mean you think you're unattractive. Pride and common sense are not the same thing.
And were not talking about friendship here were talking about a sexually charged relationship... where you will be heavily physical. There's no reason attraction shouldn't matter. Unless it's an asexual relationship those relationships might be stronger after all.
Thanks for chipping in your opinions. :)
Lol nope. I don't think men are entitled to attractive women. Nobody's entitled.
Not priding oneself on looks, I should explain, I actually meant priding yourself on *something else* other than looks. I. e. you are confident and proud of yourself as a person. The more important thing to me is, such a person would have far more character and be more interesting to the other gender.
And I'm trying to say that attractiveness comes in many different forms. To be physically attractive, sexiness is just one portion of it. There's also the geeky attractive girl, or the cute and rounded attractive girl, etc. They aren't sexy, but they can still drive insane. And in such cases, the relationship isn't sexually charged for the most part, but they still want to be intimate and have sex once in a while too.
I had to break it off with this one girl. I found her initial confidence and extrovertedness highly attractive. She had a pretty face, and was even willing to look over her rather obese body for it... or at least try to.
I had my first time experience with her, but I couldn't remain hard enough to stick it in. Also turned out she had quite a shy side to her, which threw me off quite a bit.
She was upset when I forced myself to speak honestly. I did take the advice of my friends when they told me I was 'too picky.' Never again will I lower my standards, because I know my standards were not that unreasonable to begin with.
Lol I can agree to this article. I find it funny that I look to date "attractive" or "hot" women and I get told that I should lower my standards because I'll always be single. I think most people know what they like and should wait for them to come along. I would not get into a relationship with someone who can't make me become "turned on". I'd be wasting my time and the woman's time.
When I say "attractive" I don't necessarily mean "hot". I mean "cute" guys and some women will prefer a guy who is even "okay".
But I agree with everything else. :D
Well just in general, I mean that we find someone that turns us on whether they're hot, cute, or okay. But yeah
''Okay'' is average looking. Cute is attractive but not super attractive. Hot is super attractive.
I think looks matters to everyone to some point.
but it doesn't mean that it is the most important thing.
I think looks are important only for the 1st impression because if you really love someone you find him beautiful the way he is
Agreed. I never said that it was the most important. Personality and Looks should be in tandem.
@Janett21 she never said looks are the most important. She thinks they are just as important as personality.
@Take owner @ManuelMarquez
I didn't say she said it I just wanted to say it