First time relationship for both of us?

[ginzz99]

It's our first relationship we've ever had, and we're both well into our twenties. Strange, yes... but better late than never. Anyway, since we're both very new to this, I just wanted some advice that would help me be a good boyfriend to keep her as a girlfriend. Especially when it comes to intimacy, which is long overdue for us, but I'm also afraid of taking things too fast. Thanks in advance, I really appreciate any advice.

[bobair]

First, congrats!

Second, relationships that are intimate are like all relationships... they are a cooperation built on trust and honesty.

Third... don't ever do anything that will either make her resent you, or will leave you resenting her. Resentment is a relationship killer. So if you EVER have that feeling you need to immediately address it and let it go. If you hold onto anything... ANYTHING, it'll kill the relationship slowly like a poison.

Fourth... your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other relationships you have. So as long as you constantly, and continuously, build your own self worth and esteem, you'll always bring happiness and value to your relationship with her. But if you beat yourself up, or you nurture feelings of insecurity and desperation, then you'll push her away.

Fifth... You may love her but you're NEVER responsible for her happiness or how she interprets the world. This is a huge mistake we make when we're young... and it tricks us into despair when we can't make our partner happy all the time. That's because it's not our job. All we can bring is our best self, while we manage our own inner baggage. Her response to you and her baggage is her responsibility. You can be a shoulder to lean on once in a while, but don't try fixing her or changing her. And don't let her become your crutch either.

Six... Hmmmm... read a good book called "The 5 Love Languages"

Seven... Always be honest, especially with yourself.

Eight... Don't make assumptions. When in doubt just ask.

Nine... Don't take things personally. This is mostly about us making wrong assumptions about other peoples motivations. You'll die a happy man if you can learn not to take the world's actions personally.

Ten... Read the book "The Way Of The Superior Man" ... it's about our energy in relationships and how to be loving and healthy and happy.

:D

~ Robby

(My Blog: https://www.fullofhateandreadytodate.com/ )