An Unofficial Girlfriend? What's That Supposed To Mean?

[TheyCallMeSyd]

So I've been talking to this guy for a while and he likes me and I like him too. He says that I'm his "unofficial girlfriend" yet he still says that he wants a girlfriend (not to me, but I've heard him say that). He hasn't been texting me very often and when we do text I'm usually the one to text him first and by the end of the day we've only sent lik 5 texts and it stopped because he never texted back. I don't understand what's happening because if its an unofficial relationship then how will I know when ita over or when he stops thinking of m as a girlfriend. What do I do I'm so confused.

[Darkfairie17]

Sounds to me like he doesn't see you two as being in a relationship. You are unofficial. If you want to be official, then ask him next time he calls you that. Say "I'm really unsure what is going on here, you call me your unofficial girlfriend, why not make me your official girlfriend?"

To me it sounds like he is conveniently using the girlfriend term with you but sliding in the Unofficial title in front to make it okay for him to still date around. He's going to have you, but at the same time he's free to shop around for something 'better'.

Do yourself a favour and drop this guy real quick. You two are not a thing, sorry to have to tell you that. But it definitely sounds like he's not that invested.

Also, he's treating you poorly. You deserve to be with a guy who will be proud call you his Girlfriend, and not use ambiguous terms like unofficial, or open to describe your status with him.

[Paris13]

He never started, sweetie, he doesn't want you both hooked at the hip and if he truly was sincere, he would have made You his Special "Official" And Exclusive girl, for his eyes only.
It's apparent that he is still looking but giving you the run a round, keeping you on a back burner for now. And if he would never find just the right one who he would find Special at that given moment, there is a chance he could take you off the stove and make you His----Second Choice.
Don't fall for it. Move on. You deserve better than what he is serving at his table.
Good luck. xx

[Anonymous]

He knows you want a relationship, he doesn't want to give you one but he wants to keep you around so hesaid just enough to do that. Unofficial girlfriend makes you think your almost there, that if you hang in there he will give you what you want but truth is he wont. It will always be whatever it takes to give you enough hope to stick around

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

He's using you. He's keeping you around until something better comes along.

[TheyCallMeSyd]

What if nothing better ever comes along? And how ling do you think a guy would keep this up?

[TheyCallMeSyd]

There's so much more to this than I actually put in the question. That's why I keep going back to him.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

Even if nothing better comes along that's still not the point, the point is that he's waiting for it. He's already looking for greener pasture.

Guy can keep it up indefinitely. It's sad really because a lot of women like you just put up with it and allow it all to happen when there are good guys out there that wouldn't do that to you.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

OK babe, look, you can't expect well-thought answers if you only give us 25% of the details.

[TheyCallMeSyd]

That feels like the worst advice ever, but it does sound pretty true. I knew he was hiding something from me and now I think I know what it is. And I have the perfect plan. Thanks a lot, that really helped.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

The truth is harsh sweetie, and you're welcome. Just don't try and "get back" at him or anything. Pettiness is not cool.

[Anonymous]

It means he doesn't like you to the extent that he would make you his official girlfriend and he doesn't think he's ready for a serious commitment.