What does it mean to be in a "unofficial relationship?

[Anonymous]

[s_o_c_k]

I am in a quite similar situation, except she's not my Ex and we've talked about it.

In my case, she (24) is insecure because the last relationship with a guy like me (she definitly has a type) went downhill, so she plays it safe until she knows it's gonna work out in the long term.
It's a bit weird, but the "single"-Status makes the whole thing seem less like a commitment and more like a trial-phase, she told me i can send the 'let's get serious'-Text at any time tough.

I figured you are in a similar situation, except that you are literally his ex. It's quite understandable that he want's to play it safe this time in my opinion, so (if you're ready), you can send him the "you wanna make this official?" text and see how it goes.

[Asker]

Well it feels like were together already

[chrisbigman]

I'm guessing unofficial means that not a lot of people or not anyone knows you two are a couple. There's a couple reasons why this is the case. One reason is that he wants to test the relationship out to make sure it will last a while before going "public". I'm similar to that. The other reason is that he may have a suspicious reason (someone else he might be interested in he doesn't want to know that he's in a relationship with you).

[Asker]

He's not seeing anyone though.

Can you tell me if im in one please:?

we don't talk all the time or see each other but i try to at least talk and see him at least once a week. When we do see each other it feels just like when we were in a relationship. he's my ex fyi. It always feels so passionate and we act all lovy dovy towards each other. By lovy dovy i mean kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling, sleepovers, holding hands while were sleeping, and of course sex. Sometimes when i go over he's place and he mad food hell offer me some and sometimes he'll even feed it to me. Last time i went over there while we were cuddling on the couch he had he's head propped up against mine.
I feels like we are still together when we hang out with each other.

[chrisbigman]

With all that, it sounds like you are. Who's calling it unofficial, you or him? If you don't know whether you're in a relationship, then you should talk to the guy that you "think" you are in a relationship with and confirm with him. Maybe he's not your ex anymore.

[Asker]

We'll I was talking to this one guy on here and he brought that to my attention.
I don't want to scare him off by asking him because last time I asked him to get back together he replied "I don't want to get back together now" but that was back in may.

And this applies to us even though we don't talk all the time? ?

[chrisbigman]

This fool might be playing ("player"?) around with you. If you'd rather, then tell him either we continue this and we are considered in a relationship or this (kissing, cuddling, etc) stops now. Yes, it still applies to you even though you don't talk all the time. You need to be clear with this idiot and tell him to stop playing games. This guy sounds like a player.

[Asker]

He's not.

Why do you say that now?

[chrisbigman]

Nevermind. i'm wrong.

[Asker]

Why do you say that?

[Asker]

I never said that you were wrong

[Kencollado19]

When you do what people in a relationship would do but, you aren't in a relationship yet. I'm in the same situation- the guy that i am dating for nearly 3 months now said that " we are not official". Lol

[Asker]

Yeah like wth

[Esplorare]

Two people act like boyfriend/girlfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend etc but have not officially committed themselves to each other.

[Asker]

Can you tell me if im in one please:?

we don't talk all the time or see each other but i try to at least talk and see him at least once a week. When we do see each other it feels just like when we were in a relationship. he's my ex fyi. It always feels so passionate and we act all lovy dovy towards each other. By lovy dovy i mean kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling, sleepovers, holding hands while were sleeping, and of course sex. Sometimes when i go over he's place and he mad food hell offer me some and sometimes he'll even feed it to me. Last time i went over there while we were cuddling on the couch he had he's head propped up against mine.
I feels like we are still together when we hang out with each other.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

When you're already close to eachother, like eachother
But you don't know yet if he is your boyfriend/she is your boyfriend

[Asker]

Can you tell me if im in one please?

we don't talk all the time or see each other but i try to at least talk and see him at least once a week. When we do see each other it feels just like when we were in a relationship. he's my ex fyi. It always feels so passionate and we act all lovy dovy towards each other. By lovy dovy i mean kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling, sleepovers, holding hands while were sleeping, and of course sex. Sometimes when i go over he's place and he mad food hell offer me some and sometimes he'll even feed it to me. Last time i went over there while we were cuddling on the couch he had he's head propped up against mine.
I feels like we are still together when we hang out with each other.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

That's exactly what I said here
You need to ask him to be sure about it

[Asker]

We'll if I ask it might push him away right?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

That depends on hi

[Yanoa_Yanza]

You know him better than I do

[Asker]

We'll we have fun together?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

When you feel 'ready'
go ahead and ask him, if he likes you more than a friend or something :o

[Asker]

I don't want to scare him off or push him away

[Yanoa_Yanza]

it's the only way to find out
Either you or him has to make the first move

[Asker]

How can I get him to?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Ha if he really starts to fall for you he'll feel the same way
it's all on who dares to go first at that point :D

[Asker]

We'll how can I get him to fall for me?

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Be yourself, and hope that he likes you for who you are.
No need to act like someone else, because the lie will surface eventually anyway

[Asker]

We'll I am acting like myself but it's not going anywhere?