My best friend ditched me for her boyfriend they just broke up, and now she wants me to be her bff again.

[Anonymous]

I Don't know what to do. My best friend in the world got a boyfriend about a year ago. She did everything with him. She left me, and found a new group of friends that all had bf's to hang out with. I was only seen as friend to her when no one else could hang out. I let her believe that she could use me like that. Now that her and her boyfriend broke up, she just thinks she can waltz back into my life and pretend the last year never happened. Well news flash, I've changed A LOT so has she. I can't tell her any of this though, because if I do, I might lose my best friend again. I hate having people upset. I don't know what to do. I am so confused. Its bringing me to tears that she thinks she can use me.

[Anonymous]

Hi babe,

This actually happened with two of my best friends.

My first best friend was my best best best friend in the whole entire world. I was really upset when she chose her boyfriend over me, and she was also rude to me. Now they've broken up, but I can't see her as my best friend anymore. I think she still sees me as one of her good friends, so she still talks to me, and when she does I always reply and am friendly. But I need to protect myself, too, so I never tell her anything about my feelings. It's just a surface friendship.

My second best friend was my best guy friend. I actually introduced him to his girlfriend now, and then he stopped seeing me, even when my boyfriend and I broke up and I was heartbroken. Then they broke up and he was devastated. I didn't want to be all "well you weren't there for me so I won't be there for you" because he was a good friend before and he needed me. But then they got back together and now he's completely MIA again. And now I won't refer to him as my friend anymore either.

I cared about them a lot, so I gave them second and third chances. But all relationships, especially platonic friendship ones, must be reciprocal. And you have to protect yourself too.

Good luck babe. I know it hurts.

[jennifer_maew]

She sounds like a friend I had in high school. If you continue to be her friend and let her use you, then that is your fault. It sucks being used, and you need to let her know that you're not going to let her use you like that. If you still want to be her friend make sure she promises not to ever ditch/dump you like that again. But if you don't make this clear, she WILL do it again. They always do. Also...for a plan B, make some new friends and you might find someone who is a better best friend than she is. That's what I had to do. I was used for 6 years before I completely lost it and yelled at her, and I moved to a different state and we haven't been friends since. Don't let it get to that stage. Tell her right off how you feel, and if she chooses not to listen to you, then ditch her. Don't wait until she ditches you again.

[ineedhelp7669]

if you have other friends that you stuck with whilest she was with her 'new friends' then stick with them, you say you don't want to lose her again, but if she gets another boyfriend she'll do it you again anyways, I seriously think you would be better of with out her, she sound liked a sh*tty friend tbh.

[kreamykoffee]

it's not ur fault. I think she thinks its ur support. you can try to do the same thing to her.