he's 20 im 19. My first bf. Official for 2 weeks and after 5 months. Sometimes i wonder if he really loves me. But he says it. he's super sweet and respectful. But i wondered If he's just experimenting? Or racist? And if this was normal? Ok. We were cuddling and just started the relationship and i said "I'm yours" and he laughed and i said "what?" And he said "nothing" and he continued that he thought of a racist joke and he didn't want to use the "N" word. And i said well, there seems to be two types of the use in this society, because even some whites use "n*ggas and i am aware that with the letters "ers" added to the end, it is racist. First... It was about how whites owned blacks in the past. Then he told a racist joke and it was honestly funny and i laughed it off. Then i asked about racism within his family and what they would do if they saw me. And I am of lighter skin. Both of his grandparents are racist and his older brother dates a woman of another race with darker skin (i forgot what ethnicity) and he said they would treat me as a (friend) and assume I was his friend rather than a girlfriend. And he answered the other question that he would never bring home a darker skinned woman. But that he has slept with a black girl, and he continued with "she was black... I mean black, black. Super black" And with me, I am light skinned, my hair is naturally long and this surprised him? And he often says how soft my skin is. Continuing, at one point he joked he would say to my dad "(insert my name) is my nigga!" And it surprised me a bit and i laughed and said "i dont think that would end well.. Don't" then that convo ended. He says that with his mom and dad there ok with me. I noticed he always brings me over at a time (after) his parents have left. I do not believe his mom is racist, but it is hard to tell. When in the room with me and her son, she rarely makes eye contact. I feel a bit invisible? And Given the opportunity, he hasn't introduced me to his dad.
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