He Wants A White Woman But I'm Black?

[Anonymous]

This is my final straw. I'm not blonde with blue eyes or lightskin with loose hair or a slim figure like he talks and dreams about. He wants me to buy and wear blonde hair I want to wear my own. I'm always watching his eyes where they may roam never to a woman that looks like me. Last night I hit him when he made a joke about fucking some white girls on the dock (late night bike ride) knowing he's made me completely insecure about not being who he wants I've tried to be happy with myself but I'm not. He's a white guy that white girls don't want so he settles for the weak insecure black woman. I told him today that I think we should separate so he can find who he truly wants and so should I. I will not continue to hate myself for not being HER. I'm so hurt I've cried to my mother she wants me to come back home I think I should idek how to feel rn.

[sheikalana]

Who's this guy? Your post almost made me cry. Whoever this is a friend or a situationship you have to let him go. This person is toxic and is destroying you. You were born the way you were born and you're perfect just the way you are and you're not going to change anything about it. He's a bad person. If he wants a white woman but can't have them because they don't like him he's the one who needs to change not you. Move on my dear and embrace who you are be proud of your features there are so many men out there who will appreciate your beauty and be proud to have someone like you by their side.

[Asker]

The guy is my boyfriend we haven't broken up we talked things over he reassured me that he loves my skin color and everything about me. He says he doesn't want a white girl but I'm still not sure

[Asker]

He argues with me all the time that he can pull white women. They definitely do stare at him in public but they tend to be younger not the ones his age. If it was up to him I think he'd choose a white lady.

[sheikalana]

He's a toxic douchebag what kind of guy throws at your face that he can pull white women if he wants to. So trashy. I wouldn't want my daughter/sister/friend to be around someone like that. Seems like when he does puppy eyes you forget about the douchebag he is.

[menina]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You should leave him, this is a toxic relationship. I hate to tell you this but he's not in love with you, he's just in love with the idea of having a girlfriend.

I would advise you to take care of yourself, work on your self-esteem and then (only if you want to) look for a man who will love you for who you are. Don't waste your time with idiots and racists.

Good luck and remember to always love yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you I think so too. I've been losing weight, focusing on myself. I'm hurting badly rn but thank you so much

[menina]

That's great! Keep working on yourself and become the best version of yourself. I understand, it takes time to heal but you'll get better.

[WindAtMyBack]

Re-read your post. You didn't say a single positive thing about him. Why would you stay with a guy when you obviously aren't happy with him? He doesn't accept you for who you are. Any amount of emotional bond between you can't overcome that.

It's a serious question. Why are you with him? Can you answer that? Whatever your answer is, is it enough?

[Asker]

My boyfriend is good to me he's really supportive has helped me get down 22 lbs. It is enough

[Asker]

He does accept me. and likes my natural hair but is sometimes too pushy about me being a blonde

[Asker]

Sometimes I'm happy with him other times I'm not

[WindAtMyBack]

It's a tough choice.

He's a young guy. A lot of guys, especially young guys, don't understand how easy it is to hurt a girl's feelings. Even joking, making comments about fucking some girls on the dock is ignoring your feelings. Guy thinking is more like "I'm with her, isn't that good enough?". They might not see any reason to give compliments and reassurances. They totally might not get that things they say can be hurtful, because they are thinking from a guy's point of view - it wouldn't be hurtful to them, so they assume it's not hurtful to the girl either.

I don't know about the blonde hair thing. That's actually kind of weird in my opinion. I think it would still be weird if you were a white brunette and he wanted you to wear a blonde wig.

I just assumed he was a white guy, but I realized that you didn't actually say that.

[Asker]

Lol thanks for your input he is in fact white

[Asker]

We didn't break up we talked about it he apologized about the joke reassured me that he loves me. He says blonde hair on black women is "unique"?

[WindAtMyBack]

I can understand liking something "unique". But he needs to learn to be more careful what he says to you. I think one of the big lessons I've learned from relationships is what NOT to say.

I think he owes you a few dozen compliments.

[WonderBell99]

Best opinion. MHO right here.

[AllGoodNamesRGone]

I haven't seen u but one thing im really sure of is that u r really amazing, coz real Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that's when you're most beautiful.✨

Ps : The more you love yourself. the less nonsense you'll tolerate., I trutly feel u have done the right thing :)

[Asker]

Thank you so much I'm so hurt

[AllGoodNamesRGone]

Don't hurt yourself for somebody who don't value your feelings.

[SiberFox]

If he's not going to make you his feminine ideal, then you need to leave.
Best of luck.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Ill_made_Knight]

Sounds like he's made it clear who he is and what he's looking for.
Your confidence and self image are taking a beating I imagine.
Don't let him do that to you.
This too shall pass... everything does in time

[Faith18letsgo]

I’m so sorry. I’m also a black girl. That guy is being so shitty. You deserve a hundred times better. I agree, ditch him and spend some time with your family. Black love is wonderful.

[Guy13]

Damn... maybe this is the best thing to happen. There is a missing conscious in someone who says that once much less repeatably. Did you push him off the dock?

[Asker]

I wish I would've pushed him 😭

[Asker]

He often brings up the blonde hair often 🙂 sometimes blue eye contacts ☺️

[Guy13]

Can you stay away or are you addicted?

[Asker]

I don't know yet

[Guy13]

Find a better looking white guy and say, "I prefer whatever his eye/hair features are."

[Asker]

Lmaoo I will. Maybe I'll try blondes too ☺️

[Guy13]

There you go !!!

[Sky23king]

Follow your gut.


This guy probably does love you or he just comfortable where he is. If he his checking out other girls eventually he will probably cheat on you if he hasn’t done that already.
I would say if her truly love you he would focus on you and your relationship.

[Flower7]

Breaking up and going back to your mom is an excellent idea. You absolutely can’t stay with someone who wants someone else.

[AsaKyo]

I've dealt with this before, except the guy wanted me to be Asian, but obviously I couldn't because I'm not 🙄

Move out and dump his ass

[HSalenko]

Looks like you caught yourself a real ass. If he genuinely doesn't care about you then you're better off doing as you said and moving on.

[Batmanismydaddy]

The guy I like likes half Spanish half Asian chicks who act cute and are into anime with big boobies, fat as in not fit. Like there is meat. While I'm white fit and skinny model looking.

[Asker]

I understand not being your bfs "type" is hurtful to your self image

[Batmanismydaddy]

Not really. I know I'm better than the girls he likes. It's so obvious it's funny actually. He dates em and then comes crawling and crying. Pathetic but what do you expect from a guy who thinks with his dick

[Zolly99999]

OMG that's awful I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. . I suggest you find someone who will treat you right and love you for you.

[Asker]

Thank you sm 💖

[Zolly99999]

I kinda know how you feel.. I have a girlfriend who would compare me to other guys. This guy was bigger then you or this guys was so much hotter then you etc.. I finally left

[YHL6965]

As someone else noted, you have not said a single positive about him so why are you still with him if he wants something else, you can't be that something and you don't want to be?

[Anonymous]

He likes white women?

🤮🤮🤮🤮

You can't fix his poor taste in women, time to leave him.

[Asker]

He does it's because he is also white and half Puerto Rican.

[Opinion Owner]

Princesses of Color > white women.

[Batmanismydaddy]

Disagree. White women are cool. You do know there are white women outside of USA? The delusions of Americans lmao

[Harbringer26]

Why are you even together in the first place if he has such a strong preference?

[Asker]

I ask him this all the time he says because he loves me for me while simultaneously having his preference it's confusing

[Asker]

Or maybe he settled because he can't get what he wants

[Harbringer26]

So break up. It's pretty obvious you should!

[Jamie05rhs]

You're right. You need to break up with him. He will never love you.

I'm sorry. :/

[swettannie]

He's a fucking piece of shit! You deserve better!

[swettannie]

I'm so mad of what he did! Black woman are queens!

[Asker]

I'm angry too lol it gets way worse but I only put what was necessary

[swettannie]

Omg... If you need to talk about it don't hesitate, my dm is open

[Asker]

For sure the funny thing is we've talked before 😅 on my main lol

[swettannie]

Oh lol

[Asker]

I'll definitely inbox you tho lol

[swettannie]

Feel free

[Agagagagaga]

Sure they are. 🙄

[Asker]

What's the issue?^°

[jimmy2]

Damn that sad why he with you kick his ass out and come over I not that way 😆

[LimitedBenefits101]

lol women cry over anything😂

[Asker]

What about this is just "anything"?

[Fuentes]

Block him and be done

[Asker]

I literally live with him lol

[Fuentes]

Move out and block him from your life completely

[Kvcccfddss]

Dump him he is not worth your time