Not mentally attracted to my boyfriend? Feel like we're too far apart in maturity and the way that we think?

Anonymous
Hi,

I hope maybe some of you have been in this situation and can help me. . . I love by boyfriend of a little over a year, but lately I don't know if I'm in love with him. He's caring, friendly, and good looking, too, so this isn't about physical attraction. But lately I feel like he's too immature for me mentally. And not immature in the ways most college-aged guys are (we're in college)--he's a great boyfriend, and he treats me really well. But I'm a romantic (as in romanticism). I want a deeper connection where I can talk to him about literature and film and situations in the world, but he's not that kind of guy. He's still very much dependent on his mom (we're only in college) whereas I live on my own year round and am very independent (to the point of being stubborn sometimes). This also translates into him never taking the initiative to do anything romantic. He never surprises me or "sweeps me off my feet," and he's never been the kind of guy to do that stuff... Sometimes I feel so much love for him, and other times I feel like I just want to have an intelligent conversation with someone who understands and shares more of my passions. I'm also very passionate about doing things for others (service opportunities, etc.) and he doesn't really seem into that, either. I just don't feel connected to him in that inexplicable deeper way that develops when you respect your partner. I want to respect him; it's just that sometimes I feel like I'm dating a child. He gets angry and upset at the smallest things sometimes, but that's my fault, maybe, since he can probably sense I don't feel the same way about him as I did when we were younger.

Please let me know if any of you have experienced this and what you did. I really don't want to hurt him; he's my best friend in a lot of ways. But I'm bored. (I don't want to date other people; that's not what this is about. I just want more time to talk to more like-minded people, or even find them.) I know
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that the "spark" usually "fades," but I think this is more significant than just the honeymoon chemistry fading away. More like the honeymoon phase is over, and I'm starting to see the things that are incompatible between us. The problem is that I also suffer from depression, and I've heard that can alter your feelings about your partner, and I don't want to be one of those serial dater that's always looking for something better... I just want someone who shares the same humor...
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By not in love with him, I mean that I'm a huge music junkie, and I've always dreamed of singing a song to someone and really meaning it. I don't think I could sing him a love song and honestly mean the words. I love him, but I don't know if this means I'm not in love with him or just going through a phase.
Not mentally attracted to my boyfriend? Feel like we're too far apart in maturity and the way that we think?
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