I slapped my boyfriend while blackout drunk, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I generally drink in relative moderation, I've only been blackout drunk once before and it's not something I planned on happening again. I had not eaten much during the day, went for a jog and only ate an apple after that before drinking. I drank a couple glasses of wine and a beer, after that only water. I remember dancing at the afterparty. Then I suddenly was in the kitchen. The missing timespan is about half an hour. My boyfriend kissed me goodbye (he said he was leaving early because he had work the next day, which was true.) After that I went to talk to some friends. I checked my phone a while later and my boyfriend had sent me a message saying that it wasn't okay for me to hit him like I did, and that he didn't want to see or talk to me and that I should go home to sleep instead of going to his place. He called me the day after, telling me I bitchslapped him on the dancefloor without reason after him joking something about my shoes. I wasn't angry or anything. I'd NEVER hit ANYONE. Maybe in a non-serious way as a joke, but it seems like I hit him pretty hard. I can't come up with any reason that would make the situation make sense, but apparently I've hit him and he is emotionally very hurt. He didn't want to talk about this on the phone and suggested meeting face to face. I've apologized to him already of course, but that doesn't mean what I did is okay. I didn't drink a lot, and I know I didn't drink anything while blackout either because I didn't have any hangover whatsoever the day after. That means the only thing that would prevent this 100% from happening again is me quitting alcohol altogether, which is what I'm planning to do if my boyfriend decides to stay with me. I am so ashamed for what I've done, and I feel like I should break up with him because he doesn't deserve being in a violent relationship. Advice?

[Wondahwoman]

Alcohol can make you do crazy things out of character. It sucks when you have no recollection of something horrible you did while drinking but your loved one remembers the entire thing. There's no way to look at the situation from your point of view here, or to determine just how serious it was.

He has every right to be hurt, and it can take some time before he gets over it. Giving up alcohol for awhile at least isn't a bad idea. Or if you plan on drinking don't do so on an empty stomach. I find that the worst black outs tend to start this way. (Hi my name is Wondahwoman and I'm an alcoholic)

There isn't much you can do to make him forgive you, buying him a gift or
Promising it won't ever happen again are just two classic moves chronic abusers use... And you don't sound like one of those. Truth be told: a gift just shows you think you can buy his forgiveness and promising it won't ever happen again is empty... Because there's no real way of telling if it will happen again. You weren't even aware of doing it the first time. Give him some space and let him come to you. He's willing to talk about it which is a good sign. Let him open up about the situation and his feelings, and listen. Explain your side and what you've learned from it, and what changes you are willing to make to avoid it happening again, and stick to them. This shows contrition, which goes beyond any apology.

You crossed the physical barrier by hitting him, but he left and things didn't escalate in a dysfunctional way. He took the healthy steps to isolate the slap instead of turning it in to a bigger fight which is key that you have a good guy here who wants things to work with you. I think as long as you can truly learn from this he is willing to forgive and you can move forward.

[truthbeknown]

Personally I feel if you both can work it out and he can forgive you, then great, and it is water under the bridge. Unfortunately, there are too many stories on here about how the guy got too mad and slapped his girlfriend and then all the feminist man haters rear their ugly heads and say they have to break up and he should be charged!!! So because you women can't have your cake and eat it too, you need to break up with him and turn yourself into the police for assault because that is what we get told by the man haters everytime!!!

[OlderAndWiser]

At your age, if a girlfriend accepted responsibility for a problem and was willing to do something about it, I would give her a second chance (with the exception of being unfaithful, which never deserves a second chance.) You should talk to your boyfriend, tell him that you want to do whatever it takes to make yourself a better person, and ask him what he thinks you should do. Including him in the decision making process is extremely important.

[RexCatholicissimus]

You really shouldn't have admitted this on a public forum, friend.

I'm going to have to report you to the GaG admins and hopefully see if we can get a hold of your information for the police. Domestic abuse, even when drunk, can't be tolerated.

I'm sorry, Asker.

[AmeerX]

No, breaking up with him is totally unacceptable. It will break his heart and aggravate the situation. Try apologizing and avoid alcohol since you can't handle it. What you can do is trying to go to him and hug him. He will also think again.

[Anonymous]

Since every woman on here would tell a girl who was hit by Guy to he deserved to get dumped, I think you should just leave so you never abuse him again.

[evenlift]

Yes, you should give up alcohol.