I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my boyfriend, what should I do?

[chocolatelattes4]

Please read... I basically broke up with my boyfriend because i felt like it was more of a friendship than a relationship. He wasn't that effectionate towards me... Showed no emotion... And sometimes he just acted like he didn't care. I lost feelings for him and just wasn't feeling the spark anymore... When i broke up with him he didn't really react much either. But now i feel like I made a huge mistake and I dont know what to do. How do i win him back? Or should i even do that? Please dont be mean about it. I need real advice.

[Anonymous]

Moments like this make me glad I'm not 17 anymore lol.
1. The spark. It's totally illusory. You feel like it's some magical force drawing you to him. But really it's just your bodies reaction to witnessing someone your attracted to act in "impressive" ways. Problem is the longer you know someone the more relaxed you are around them and the less observant you are of thier behavior. Especially if he's not doing anything new
2. Communication is key. Learn to be vulnerable and talk honestly. Just tell him the truth about what was going on in your head. And hope that he understands
3. Accept life's faults. Things don't always work out perfectly. They won't always go your way. You've just gotta give it your best shot, hope for the best, and deal with the outcomes
4. Life has no guidebook. I can't give you a magic cheat code to insure that things work out. No one can. That's just not how life works. As my Scandinavian foreign exchange student friend says "You've gotta risk it to get the biscuit."

[OlderAndWiser]

You want to "win him back"; I don't like that expression because it suggests that he is a prize.

If you do get back with him, what will be different about your relationship? Probably nothing. Will you be okay with having a boyfriend who is not affectionate and doesn't care whether you are his girlfriend? Won't you be just as frustrated and disappointed the second time around?

Ask yourself this: do you miss him, or do you just miss having a boyfriend? You probably need to move on and find someone else who wants more of the same things you want in a relationship.

[Darkfairie17]

To be honest, what makes you think he's going to change and be what you need him to be?

It sounds like he wasn't being affectionate towards you, was cold and wasn't really acting like how you would want a boyfriend to act.

Are you missing him or what you wished he could be?

I would really think about this before going back to him. He won't change unless he wants to.

[luvstoned4him]

"He wasn't that effectionate towards me... Showed no emotion... And sometimes he just acted like he didn't care. I lost feelings for him and just wasn't feeling the spark anymore"

I think thats your answer right here. That being said , did you two at least talk about this before you broke it off?

[chocolatelattes4]

I mentioned some things about it to him... We didn't make it a big deal because i thought it was just me

[luvstoned4him]

nah , its definitely him. Well am sorry to say this but maybe he didn't deserve u

[XxMochaDelightxX]

I think you just feel lonely and are in shock. Like you miss the idea of a relationship, rather than your own.

I think you should just wait it out and take care of you for awhile then come back to the idea in a bit. See if you still want him then

[lumos]

If you try to win him back you'll just feel bad about the relationship again. Realize that you were incompatible and move on. He won't change and you shouldn't lower your standards for someone who doesn't really seem to want you.

[zShikiz]

If your feelings are still strong and you feel you've made a mistake, give him a call and arrange a time to meet up and chat. Explain what was wrong and how you felt and what made you come to that decision. Based off his response, go from ther. Most guys will hear out their ex in a situation like this and give it another shot

[matheus_mb]

If you lost your feelings, then you did the right thing. I see two options here, he either doesn't really show his emotions (as a normal part of his behavior) or he wasn't really interested anymore. If not showing his emotions was part of his personality and you don't want it for you, then you did the right thing, If he didn't care anymore, then you really did the right thing.

So, don't feel guilty. It was a relationship that didn't work. Follow your path and he'll follow his.

[AleDeEurope]

Just let it go. What makes you think the spark is gonna come back?
It seems like you just miss having a boyfriend, not what he actually provided you with.
You know, like when you have something, you get bored, but once you don't have it, you want it again? It seems like this is your case. Let it go and move on.

[WiseTruth]

You can't change people. He won't be any different if you get back together. Maybe you are just trying to fill something through him that you can't get and wished you had yourself.

[vincehb12]

There's a good chance that it's over for good. Give yourself and him a week to process. If you still want I'm back after a week. Ask I'm out if he still care he will give it an other shot. Be honest with your feelings when you guys talk

[Anonymous]

Just go talk out your problems with him. There is no winning him back. If he actually likes you He will take you back, if he doesn't... He doesn't like you.

[Anonymous]

If he wasn't being emotional at all then it may be for the best to remain friends. I doubt anything will change if you just get him back, especially if he didn't seem bothered by the break up.

[Todiebyyourside]

Tell him you made a mistake.

[Ferrett321]

tell him you made a mistake