How do I convince my parents to let me date a black guy?

[Anonymous]

My parents don't display racism in daily life so they would never discriminate against a black person or wish them harm but when the topic of dating or marrying a black guy comes up I feel repulsed by their stances. My mother simply does not want black grandchildren and while I've never discussed this with my father I once heard him say he would get his sister killed because she was dating a black man (yes, that is fucking psychotic, he didn't mean it but it's still horrendous). Here's my problem, it goes against everything I believe in to say I wouldn't date a certain race because why the fuck not? I'm not actively seeking a black boyfriend but if I met a man who treated me well and who I loved, why shouldn't I be with him? I have no problem with his blackness and quite frankly no one else should. My parents have done a lot for me and I can't help but always obey them but I want to change their minds, I want to respect them in every aspect but that's impossible when they're so bloody racist. Please help.

[Anonymous]

First of all you have racist parents. There's no way around that. People on here may disagree, but I don't give a fuck. Doesn't mean they are bad people, but that's what they are if what you're saying is true.

As for dating a black guy you're an adult. Your parents need to understand that. At this point they are there to give you advice and support you. Not to make your decisions for you. You make your own decisions. If you want to date a black guy then that's your decision and they need to understand that. You're a grown up now. Also, they should as parents want the best for you. That best may be a black guy. If he takes care of you and treats you like you should be treated then there shouldn't be any reason as to why you shouldn't date him.

I say do as you please. They can't force you to not date a black guy if that's what you want. It's selfish of them to have that kind of mindset. "Don't want black grandkids." Smh.

[Opinion Owner]

And by the way the whole "Once you go black you never go back" thing is horse shit. I'm a black guy, but I'm not that naive. That comes from slavery. White women who went to black men the white men would say she should never come back. Meaning once a white woman is with a black man they don't want her anymore. Besides it's not true. I'm sure there are many people outside of the black race who date black people and then go and date their own race.

[Asker]

I know they're racist and if I'm being honest, man I hate to say this, I'm ashamed of them. We're not white, we look white, but we're not actually white and although we've never experienced racism, we are aware of the prejudices and hate directed towards us so it truly fucking astounds me that they can argue that they are human like everyone else and then come at me with this horseshit. Your advice was really helpful, you're absolutely right - I'm an adult and I'll be with whoever is good to me whether he's black, white, Asian, arab... whatever. And thank you for your additional comment, I'm sorry such disgusting racism is so well-embedded into Western culture that it's considered a joke.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. I'm sure your parents love you regardless, and I just hope everything works out well for you :).

Yeah, but hey what can I do? People will continue to say the phrase. All I can do is give them my view on it.

I'm glad I could help. I'm just happy that there are people out there who understand that race is irrelevant when it comes to finding the right partner. Good luck and hey maybe if your parents see how well your future partner treats you and loves you they will overlook what race he is.

[Asker]

Here's hoping! :)

[bluenose1872]

You know where they stand. Either respect their decisions or be hardheaded and go against them. You'll fuck your relationship with them but you'll be able to say I did it my way. It's not racist. Most parents don't want their kids going with another race. What's wrong with wanting you're whole family to be the same colour. There's kids end up hating their mothers because they look different from them. I've seen it with my own two eyes. They have troubles with identity and where they belong. The two boys I'm thinking of are both on anti depressants and hate both their parents coz they're singles our in the street and alienated. They're only just out of their teens. But go ahead, spite everybody and do what you want. You're the only one that matters eh

[DivaMonae]

Undermine your parents it's as simple as that. They'll either warm up to the idea and get over it or they won't and they'll be furious at you but they can't control you. You're an adult, it's your life, and you can do as you please.

Hopefully your parents can see that if you ever do date a black man or a guy of any race really that as long as he really does love you and right by you then the color of his skin doesn't matter and if that doesn't work and you fall in love I know what your mom said but her grandchildren will win her as well as your dad over but before they come (if they come) just remind them that regardless of their skin tone that they're just as much white as they are black.

[Asker]

We're not even white which is what pisses me off so much. Our people are a subject of racism and prejudice and discrimination yet they have no fucking empathy for black people and they're so ignorant to see how fucked up they are for having these beliefs and shit. I really hope you're right though, I hope they could drop this nonsense if I ever did marry a black guy.

[DivaMonae]

Just out of curiosity what race are you? Hispanic?

And what races do they approve of? Or is black the only one that they disapprove of?

[Asker]

We're Levantine Arabs. My mother always talks of how she hopes I end up with a European or a European born and raised Arab (like myself) and she's stated she disapproves of me marrying an East Asian however she's just ignorant and actually thinks they eat dogs and shit like that, if they were handsome and brought up well etc. I'm sure she'd have no problem with it. We haven't really touched on other races but black is the only race she's strongly stated she does not like.

[Anonymous]

Well, don't start world war iii at home if you aren't dating a black guy yet. Hypothetical situations are usually treated with much more severity than actual situations. You really can't change your parents. They are older and set in their ways. If you one day actually do date a black guy you just go up to your parents and tell them the guy you are dating is a very loving and sweet guy and respects you for who you are and you don't see why your parent's racism should stand between you and your happiness and if they really love you they should be happy for you and support you because skin color doesn't determine a person's personality.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

If you date a black guy and subconsciously you're doing it to piss your parebts off thats racist. I guess this is more of a hypothetical "what if" date him all rules be damned your parents might dis-own you but at least you two would hopefully love each other a lot.

[Asker]

I'm not the type of girl who dates a guy to piss off my parents, never have been and never will. The reason I asked this because I feel like a shit person being told not to date a black guy and in a way living by that rule. I'm young, I haven't had a real boyfriend or anything like that but I know what my morals and ethics are and I refuse to say "I will not date this man because he's black" - that makes me sick to my stomach and I want to be able to explain to my parents why I don't want to obey them on this matter. It's a matter of principles mostly but then I think, I've felt unloved, unwanted and ignored my entire life and if one day I met a man who made me feel incredible and loved me as much as I loved him and he happen to be black, why don't I deserve to be with him?

[lumos]

Racism is kind of like religion, in the sense that it's almost impossible to change a person's standpoint. If you ever happen to fall for a black guy who has also fallen for you, then there's nothing THEY can do about it. Just date him. Fuck what they think.

[Joc4Position]

I don't like that you compared racism to religion.

[lumos]

@Joc4Position I only said that they're similar in the sense that it's the kind of belief people don't let go of very easily.

[TripleAce]

If talking to them about it already hasn't worked... nothing will

you'll just have to choose between compromising yourself or your family. Thats a choice your going to have to make on your own. Remember its not about the right choice, its about the choice you can live with

Good luck

[Prof_Don]

Your parents are racist. Their reaction to a black man as a possible structure the family, says it all.

Pretty much u have two choices:

1) follow your parent's wishes and only date your race.

2) date who u want against ur parents wishes

[Asker]

They don't have a problem with me dating outside my race, they're just opposed to me being with a black guy.

[Prof_Don]

Still racist though. So either follow what ur parents want, or do what you want. As a black guy it's normal to deal with people who have apprehension towards me for no reason at all besides me being black (even people who are strangers and don't even know me!)

[Asker]

Yep, they sure as shit are racist. They don't like to admit it because it makes them feel guilty and they say they wouldn't discriminate against a black person but forbidding me from marrying or dating a black guy is just as racist as it gets. I can relate to that.

[Prof_Don]

It's unfortunate. I have to say that u should do what make u happy in the end. :)

P. S. im a black guy.

[Intraluminal]

You're an adult now. Be an adult. Don't be racist yourself by choosing a person BECAUSE he's black, but don't reject him either. Again, you are an adult. Your choices are YOUR choices. You should make good choices, but that doesn't mean that they should be your parents' choices, and I say that as a parent myself.

[MonkeyGM]

Girl, if you want marry a black dude then do it. If your parents really love they would accept it because he makes you happy. If they can't then it is their problem not yours

[AmandaLynn1930]

You don't need to convince them. You just do it. Stand up for what u want. They'll love u o matter what

[Anonymous]

Just wait till they die off then you won't have to hear this shit. They are racisrt cunts who are using the guilt card by claiming you can date outside of your race. Typical white man behaviour honestly

[Asker]

Yeah but I love my parents and I don't want them to die and regardless, I don't want them to be this way... I understand they grew up in a different time blah blah blah but if they can raise open-minded, logical people then why can't they be that themselves? We're not even white, my dad's best friend is black so I'm pretty shocked at his stance.

[buttheadkakakak]

Fuck your parents. To hell with them. If you want to be with him and he treats you nice and you're a good couple then go for it. He's just as great for you as any white guy.

[ShocknAwem]

Once you go black, you never go back. I am not kidding that's as true as it gets.

[Autobikeking]

Your 18-24 so what ever makes you happy is the key. You just can't run your life by what other people think of you... Life is short.

[ConsultantIsBack]

just tell him once you go black you dont go back!!!

[Anonymous]

Tell them his massive dick is more satisfying to you.

[Tarvold]

Get pregnant, then they won't have a choice.

[Tarvold]

Don't do that. Obviously.

[jwhit]

You're grown, do what you want.

[Minute_Man]

Keep an eye on your purse, by the way.

[Anonymous]

You don't... they're bad people