How to convince my parents to allow me to date men from a different community?

[Babygirl_S]

I really like white and Punjabi (without turban) guys. I had to secretly date a mixed (half Indian, half white) guy because my parents were against it. What should I do?🥺

Updates

1 y

They won't talk to me if I go against their wishes.

[DizzyDesii]

If i had racist parents, i wouldn't date other races til i was able to leave that parents household. You’re putting these men in uncomfortable positions because you’re afraid to standup to your parents. You’re 21+. Its not that hard to speak your piece. I’d disown racist parents soon as i was able to get out. I don't know if yours are racist or just prefer you stick to the culture. But either way, my family has dated other races and don’t mind if we do the same. My grandpa has said some fcked up shit when I dated an Asian but i put him in his place quickly and he has been respectful ever since because he doesn’t want to lose his grandchild. Maybe your parents will come around as well

[DizzyDesii]

I ended up dumping every nonblack dude who was afraid to tell their nonblack parents about us. They have to understand that if we have kids, they are putting the children in a fcked up situation. At the end of the day, I still prefer my own race first and foremost. But i have no issue dating or marrying another as well

[Babygirl_S]

My parents are racist. They would disown me if I marry someone they don't like. They keep saying stuff like our community is superior.

[DizzyDesii]

So let them disown you. They dont deserve your respect

[Babygirl_S]

I'm afraid of being alone. What if the guy dumps me too? I will have no one in my life.

[DizzyDesii]

So this is where you make a choice. Leave your fam, not for the guy but for yourself and walk your own path as a strong lone wolf who motivates ones self. Or stay with your parents and abide by their rules of dating someone within your culture. Dating another race in secret is just disrespectful to that race. No one wants to be a secret unless its just a hookup and nothing more

[Justneedtokno]

Somethings you just have to do on your own if they don’t respect your decision. They were just have to have a hard time proving that they are a good fit for you

[Justneedtokno]

Thank you

[Berethor]

Strange, didn't your parents obsessed with white guys just like you?

https://qz.com/india/951652/i-almost-feel-like-a-god-from-dating-to-business-white-men-are-winning-in-india/

[Grond21]

Find an international job and date freely away from them

[Babygirl_S]

I'm still away. I just can't get married to someone they don't like.

[Grond21]

Seems to me you have a few options. You convince them to let you marry someone who is foreign, you marry someone who is foreign anyway without their permission, or you give up on your dream and marry who they want

[htmndg183]

Where are you based? Whats wrong with Punjabi guys? I'm punjabi 🤭😂. The thing is, your parents will keep doing there bit to get it in your head that your partner must be a desi (Indian). Instead of asking permission before dating and worrying over it. Its better if it happens naturally between you and the guy. If it blossoms into something serious then your parents will take it seriously and perhaps understand and maybe head towards the rishta for you and your partner.

[Babygirl_S]

So should I date secretly again?

[htmndg183]

Yes. How else are you meant to escape arranged marriage?

[Pudsmucker]

I can feel your pain and anguish you live in a country that parents still want to have a arranged marriages. Is hard to talk with somebody that is set in their ways. I know you want the blessings of your parents. Maybe talk with your mother and if you convince her she might be able to convince your father.

[Babygirl_S]

Both are equally strict.

[Part2603]

Why bother? Why don't you just not have a boyfriend, but have a really really close friend that you spend all your time with, and if people ask if you guys fool around, tell them that's none of their business.

[insteadfew]

I guess convincing Indian parents to date someone from different race would be really tough. But different cast/religion but Indian origin guy... wouldn't/shouldn't be much of a difficult thing.
by the way White men are generally naturally less hairy 🤠

[Babygirl_S]

I like hairy.

[insteadfew]

Ya i know. But i guess it won't be an issue if someone is naturally less hairy and naturally bare chest... the way most White men are especially Native American

[NathanDavis]

and why do they even have a say on your life choices? you're an adult already

[slatyb]

You are 25. Unless you live in a highly repressive state, you are a legal adult and don't need your parents permission to date.

[DrewJay]

Why do you have to even tell them if you date him this early its not like they want him to come to dinner and meet them if they dont know about him.

[DavidRaul]

You should try convincing them. They would always think the best for you. Keep trying. I am a punjabi by the way, i don't think that matters lol

[Kaneki05]

Your life is yours don't let your parents live it. That's what I always think.

[aialex]

Get your own money, move to another country, and do whatever the hell you want.

[Avicenna]

Present them a man who is very successful and they will relent

[Iron_Man]

You are 25 years old you’re an adult a big girl you can do what you wanted I know an Indian girl from the site that came to America

[Marianna546]

If that's what you really like NO ONE can stop you !

[TallAnon]

I don't know your culture, I would tell my parents that this my own decision, not theirs. At that point they would accept this.

[TotallyAlmost]

Just start dating them without their permission. Eventually they will give in.

[Blaine999]

Do what you want and forget what you're parents think. This is about your life and your feelings, you make the decisions luv.

[Astarlessnightsky]

You don't have to, date whoever you want.

[Bratsondanielle]

Just do as you wish. They'll be fine after while

[Chazmatazz269]

Honesty is the best policy.

[Po1989]

Do you know why your parents are against it?

[Babygirl_S]

They are racist.