Should I be worried my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends?

[skaterkid123]

My girlfriend and I have a good relationship going on but she has WAY too many guy friends. I'm a guy and in my head all these guys wanna do is get on my girls pants. I'm pretty sure a lot of females will disagree with me but I'm sure most guys willl agree.

I hate the fact that she hangs out with guys all the time. I absolutely HATE it. She has tried introducing me to a few of them. some of them are decent dudes but most of them are just douche bags. there's a reason most of them dislike me , they like my girlfriend and they know I know it then they play the texting her a lot game.

Should I be worried about this because guy friends make me ver uncomfortable I don't know why girls even keep them around in a relationship when No guy I know talks to a girl just to be friends

[teinte31]

First off, don't listen to the female answers. They don't think like a man. Trust her and all that is crap, many men and women have trusted and got burned. Personally I'd be a little worried if she has more guy friends than gal friends.

Can I ask is she really good looking, or girl next door? Not to be mean. I just ask because my girl is a knock out, much prettier than any girl I've dated before. She gets looks from guys whenever we go out and that wears on me at times. But I get looks from women too so it balances out lol.

But kidding aside, I don't like guys undressing her with their eyes. It bothers me. The only thing I can do on my end is treat her better than any of those guys ever could. I also "take care of business at home" so to speak, so she stays satisfied if she ever has a doubt.

I also say to myself, "Yeah she's with me boys... I'm the man..." It's the only thing I can do to stay confident and sane really. Otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts man, that's the attitude you have to have with these d-bags, and you have to own it, or you have to move on because you will go insane.

If she is spending more time with these d-bags than you, tell her how you feel, that it bothers you, and if she gets defensive then she really doesn't love you. And be confident when you bring it up, don't sound like a pansy or whine about it.

Say that you don't text girls all the time or hang out with girls all the time, prove that you are being a good boyfriend and you feel she isn't being a good girlfriend.

Does she say she misses you at all? Or needs you when you are not with her? My girl tells me that all the time, that makes me feel like I'm the man. Plus she doesn't have a lot of guy friends either, and none that are trying to get in her pants.

Dude you can tell as a guy if these d-bags are trying to get in her pants or not. Next time you are around her friends study how they act, if they are joking around a lot with her, touching her in anyway, or showing you up they are trying to get with her. If they are respecting your space with her and not getting in your space then they are most likely cool.

[skaterkid123]

Thing is that these guys dare not flirt with her in my presense I'm an mma fighter (not to brag) cauliflower ears and not and most of them have seen me in wrestling matches. I'm good lookking and she's good lookig so thats not the issue I just hate when girls have guy friends and I think most of them should be rid off (except like long term friends and all that jazz) and of course I have common sense and I dont listen to women answers cause I bet you anything they dont trust their men with their gal pals anyway

[teinte31]

Yeah I get it man. Of course my reply gets voted down by a female lol...
But I agree, if they are long term friends and nothing has happened most likely it won't. It's only a natural reaction for a man to protect and fight other males when our mate is around another guy.
It happens in nature all the time lol, the males in the pack fight for dominance. You have to really, and women just don't get that we have that instinct to defend. And they get mad at us and say we are jealous, when its just our nature.
If a guy doesn't get at least a little anxious or worried when other guys look at your girl or hang around her something isn't right.

[skaterkid123]

I mean there's a line between jealousy and POSESIVENESS :

jealousy is okay but posesiveness and being controling isn't. We are men we know how guys are more than any women will ever do and thats why we get defensive and hate the other guy cause we can tell kinda reminds me of Stifler in Americna weeding playing the nice guy to fuck the hot bridesmaid and the girl and her mom were always oblivious and he was like air humping her evertime she would turn her back. thats the perfect description of a guy friend

[teinte31]

Totally agree man. Best of luck to you, hope it works out.

[Anonymous]

all im gonna say dont listen to these people "if you trust her no" you should be at least somewhat worried, some men have honor code and some men we both know are scum that will try and take a girl, its not that you should attack your girfriend, attack the people around her, show them you have balls , if they were to ever even try something funny they know not to mess with you, i always have done it that way, i act hard against them with attitude just so they can know im not there to play there stupid fuken games.

[skaterkid123]

they know I'm an mma fighter and I got cauli ear sooo they dont mess with me directly. I've told her that I won't be jealous but if one of her friends tries anything I'm gonna have a few"words" with them. She agreed to it cause she knows I'm that type of person but so far they are scared... my girlfriend tells me they tell her I'm terrfying which is good in a way

[Opinion Owner]

o baby, thats what im talking about, we are both made from the same cloth, i love mma, i was in boxing too, did the same thing, u have nothing to be worried about my friend, just be vigilant thou

[skaterkid123]

yeah man I'm into mma not boxing I got a few gold in jiujitsu in my country and I'm also a wrestler instructor assistant because of my record back in college, life is good

[Mandycandy42]

Just let her have her freedom, you need to build trust with her and stop being so paranoid. Being overly paranoid equates to major insecurity on your part, which will become apparent to her if you keep harping on it. Doesn't matter how much of a tough guy "MMA fighter" persona you put on to these guys, you'll come off as the douche bag, to her.

I have a decent amount of guy friends and one guy I was dating who had a major problem with it, didn't stay my boyfriend for long, not because I cheated on him or anything, but because he was always paranoid. I don't want to be told who I can or can';t be friends with, but did try and compromise and held back to make him feel more comfortable.

You need to have an in depth talk with her, if she ignores your feelings and doesn't
take you seriously, perhaps you should break up with her. If you can't trust her, and you feel she's going to cheat on you, you deserve someone better.

[skaterkid123]

she has her freedom but she should just keep the contact with these guys to a bare minimum since she's got a boyfriend and its not like they are long time friends just college buddies she knows for like 6 months. I got no problem with a handfull of her guy friends because they are decent dudes but lets get real, no guy becomes a girls friend just to be friends

[CoolSky01]

"didn't stay my boyfriend for long" iam sorry this sentence caught my attention , why do you think any decent guy will want a girl with lots of guy friends?

[Mandycandy42]

@CoolSky01 He didn't stay my boyfriend long because he was so untrusting of me and was basically trying to dictate who and who I cannot be friends with. Being an asshole about things like this among other situations unrelated. In other words, wouldn't trust be despite the fact I made plenty of time available for him over any my friends. If it bothers you so much, and you feel she's neglecting you to spend time with them, guys or girls, then perhaps it's time to find another girlfriend. You can't control someone's life, or friendships.

[CoolSky01]

on the contrary i can if iam dating a girl who wants me and wants to be with me she should respect me enough to not hang out out with her male friends alone or have any close male friends , i've been with a girl who was 100% cool with that and thought it was normal that i wouldn't want my girlfriend to have any close male friends touching her often, my friends feel the same as me , well every guy i've met feels the same as me ( so maybe you are wrong about this? ) and who says iam going to ever date such a girl?

[Mandycandy42]

@CoolSky01 In theory you think you can, but in reality you cannot control her actions or who she interacts with. If you have opinions and feelings which you feel aren't being addressed you can only communicate with her on them. However if you continue to make demands of her, despite the fact that she would devote the most amount of time to you then, If she is a cheater and she does cheat, she's a bitch and you don't deserve such a girl. I would be very upset if I had a boyfriend who was very controlling of what kind of friends I have and who I can or cannot spend time with. If you have been with a girl who have been 100% cool with it as you say, maybe you should seek out someone like that. Perhaps you should find someone else who feels the same way. Ultimately you should make your own decisions on this, I and others can only offer you advise and opinions. If you disagree with me, then so be it, the ball is in your court so to speak. Good luck.

[CoolSky01]

it is true we are right to date who we want

[skaterkid123]

Wait I never said anything of her not talking to her guy friends I just said she should keep her friendships at arms lenght with guys (except like her close long time friends of course) but what I hate is that you women think thta its cool to hang out ALONE with a hguy you KNOW and has SAID he likes you that type of guy should be blown off imediately

[Ninja97]

No I really don't. If she wants you to meet them then it should be 100% legit and you're just looking for something that's not there. Which is completely understandable. If my boyfriend has a lot of girl friends and hung out with them all the time I would also be super concerned.
My opinion? She's hanging out with them cause it's less drama. I have more male friends than female friends. Way way less drama. :) :)
Hope this helped

[skaterkid123]

Technically guy friend ARE dramma because lets face it no guy wants to be friendw with girls they want to have sex with girls. I'ts just how it is you have no idea how many guys I know say "and she actually thinks I'm her friend" as he procceed to tell me as story on how he's trying hard to sabotage her relationship. My trust issues are not with females are with men

[redeyemindtricks]

Dude, I'm a hopeless nerd, and my husband doesn't have a nerdy bone in his body. Not even a nerdy cell. Zero nerdy molecules.

I have a lot of nerdy male friends. Like, a lot of them. More than half my friends. Are dudes.

They just kinda think of me as their sister.

If there is a problem here, it's probably in your head.
In your head.

[skaterkid123]

not really no guy becames friends with a girl just to be nice guy want to get in womens pants thats just life. I'm not okay with guy friends. I know there might be SOME very few guys that won't but most would

[redeyemindtricks]

Well, fine. But, not any more than her male co-workers, or her son's friends, or her male X's or Y's or Z's. So, really, this is neither here nor there.

Doesn't reflect well on your respect for her. Why aren't you equally concerned about the above people? Especially male co-workers, with whom she might spend as much as 50-60 hours a week in close proximity with no one else around?

Seems EITHER #1, you don't trust your woman not to reciprocate, OR #2, you irrationally fear an assault on the friends' part, more than other men's part.

If it's #1, then, I'm sorry, but you just don't have a real relationship. Nope. Fake relationship. Without trust, what do you have? You have a hollow shell of nothingbullshit.

If it's #2, then this implies a pretty sharp disrespect for her ability to choose her own company. She's an adult, she can probably pick dudes who aren't going to rape her and tie her to a tree.

Look, jealousy is a thing, and it can lead to hot sex, but check it.
Check it.

[skaterkid123]

Nope Male cooworkers typically are are thing with OTHER peorple around guy male friends and typically the guys who she will whine about our problems and they WILL get in her head if they like her evntually "ohh he's not good for you blah blah blah" theworld knows this and guy friends should be kept at arms lenght out of respect for you man so yeah

[redeyemindtricks]

Er, could you write that in coherent sentences, please? Tx.

[skaterkid123]

Sorry bout that ADHD i s a bitch.
male coworkerss are around women with other cooworkers and in a work setting so whatever anyway I'm not saying she's gotta stop being friends with this guys but I'm saying is that she shouldn;t be having alone time with a guy thats it be friends but I dont think friends of the oposite sex should go out with either of them has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

thats shady as fuck

[redeyemindtricks]

Ultimately comes down to trust.

I've got lots of close friends who are dudes. We don't hang out alone often, because, well, I'm a married woman with 3 kids and I don't have much time. But, we sometimes hang out alone. It's exactly like having an adoptive brother.

If you just can't trust your woman in this situation, that suggests that your relationship needs work.

I have ADHD, too, by the way, and I'm (among other things) a writer. It makes some things harder, and others easier. You just gotta play to your strengths.
Clear communication is surprisingly important, in this world of ours. This world of texting and e-mailing and instant messaging.

[skaterkid123]

I dont do that whole blind trust thing and yeah my ADHD just makes me impatiend and writing takes a lot of that to learn and well not about that life BUT I do own two businesses sooo ADHD ain't too bad

[redeyemindtricks]

Well, of course you shouldn't have BLIND trust. Like, duh.

You should have both eyes open. But, without sufficient trust, a relationship isn't really a relationship. It's a sham.

[Triathlete]

Run.
I mean that RUN. Seriously. You have invested way to much of your emotions in this pit as it is. I can tell by the way you are talking about it. No more,...
NOT good,... not good. She likes the attention and you are going along for the ride. You don't need the pain and aggravation. There are a LOT of really great girls out there that don't need to be surrounded by a lot of guys. It's an attention thing, she gets gratification out of it. Cut this one loose. FAST. This isn't a game, but she sees it that way. You are better than that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should be worried. To be more specific: You should be worried if she has close guy friends or a "best guy friend".

It happens all to often. Guys and girls are for the most part not meant to be that close as friends... something will happen. It's not a matter of trust like a lot of the women are saying below... it's a matter of changing circumstances. You fight... so she goes to her guy friend. Her parents are fighting and you're sleeping... she goes to her guy's friend. She drinks too much one night and her guy friend takes her home... well bad news...

She very well might not have any intent now, but people aren't able to plan for the unexpected because it's just that. They can only avoid the situations that will put them there.

[DarkHumorRUs]

I think you should tell her that 90% of her guy friends just wanna get in her pants. Because it's true.

[skaterkid123]

I did tell her that she says I'm just being paranoid

[DarkHumorRUs]

Tell her that you know cause you're a guy. You could even tell her to pretend to lead on one of her friends and see how obvious it becomes that they wanna get in her pants.

[flamogirlxoxo]

it depends... is she flirty? if she is, then be worried. If not then u might wanna cool down a little be chill. If she notices how ur worrying so much she might take wrong

[flamogirlxoxo]

and the guys probably are trying to get to her

[skaterkid123]

Flirty? dont think so ts mostly the guys who just hang around her and she's a nice person that thinks guys are her friends which we all know is BS.

[flamogirlxoxo]

then definitely worry about them; but still try to keep an open mind

[skaterkid123]

worry maybe but they are terrified of me since I'm an mma fighter but still I'm sytill evaluatin her behavior with these so called friends

[flamogirlxoxo]

well, with having a girlfriend u have to realize and accept that other guys are going to notice her and want to be " friends"... it will piss u off but life is life so live and accept or live in denial

[flamogirlxoxo]

( I'm not that good at giving advice but I try)

[skaterkid123]

I mean yes but if a girl has a boyfriend she should tells them to fuck off but now a days with this whole neo feminism girls dont respect their boyfriends. like I said I dont mind her good friends but the fakes I want her to get rid off but I can't be controling so yeah

[flamogirlxoxo]

tell her... but in a nice way

[idkwtftoputhere]

Your girlfriend is dating you and it may very well be possible some of those guys are trying to get with her so she should establish some boundaries with her guy friends.

[skaterkid123]

I told her that it pisses me off that every freaking day a few of these guys text her , she doesn't answer them when she's with me but still, I need them to fuck off. there's like two I like cause they seem like genuine friends but most of them are just vultures waiting on the prey whcih any guy would hate

[idkwtftoputhere]

So you did try talking to her, what did she say? Does she try and make an effort to stop getting so close and personal with them? Have you seen how she acts towards her guy friends, does she seem flirtatious?

[skaterkid123]

I dont think she cares about flirtation since she is very reserved ( I could be wrong) I known her since she was like 11 years old (our parents know each other) and I know for a fact she's a decent girl but like I said its the guys I dont like around.

I did tell her that I didn't like a few of her guy friends because I KNOW they wanna sleep with her. But she says I'm just being paranoid and left it at that

[idkwtftoputhere]

Well, you can't really force her to unfriend those guys so... idfk. I don't know why I bother to answer relationship questions, I have horrible advice for that shit. Well, good luck!

[skaterkid123]

I know the feeling this relationship thing is very complicated for everybody, anyway thanks for your opinion its greatly appreciated

[banana5]

if she is faithful dont worry they won't get near her, but do not talk bad about these people about them being D bags because that will end your relationship very fast

[skaterkid123]

nah she knows i hate her guy friends and she's totally fine with it I just dont bring it up often

[LookatDuhDonkay]

Most "guy friends" are just waiting for the rebound. It's not the only truth, but most of the time it is.

[skaterkid123]

yeah I know hence why I'm concerned girls should dump all their guy friends to the side line when they get a new man but noooo, feminism

[CoolSky01]

well i wouldn't accept that no matter what , iam a guy and i know what guys think about they all ( well most of them at least ) want her so why put yourself in such a situation?

[skaterkid123]

nah man it seems like every girl thinks this is okay lol by the way preach bruddah

[CoolSky01]

they can think , thinking is free lol but it doesn't make it true

[skaterkid123]

it 100% isn't a good thing for relatrionships I'll tell you what. ALL men hate guy friends even if they dont say it I bet they are uncomfortable with the idea but stay quiet

[CoolSky01]

me and my friends are realsitic if we date we dont want any guy friends its a rule for us , girl friends are okay and iam cool with that but i will not like her having guy friends or being touched by guys i made it clear to my girlfriend ( well she used to be... but not because of this )

[kim45456]

Hi klll

[Anonymous]

In my experience I've only had 1 guy friend who was a genuine friend and never wanted in my pants. I hate when girls are act like all the dude friends are innocent, wake up.

[skaterkid123]

O shit you give me hope

[Opinion Owner]

Straight up those are the type of girls that say "oh he's like a brother to me", then when you break up or get into a fight the first guy she's under is him.

[skaterkid123]

in a lot of ocations this would be correct

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

No, about 80% of my friends are guys, they are harmless creatures, no threat at all.

[skaterkid123]

that want YOU think lol I bet most of them want to have sex with you or want something more than a friendhip I guarantee that

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

I can garuntee that to my male friends at school think that I am one of the guys, they do not think of me in that way. As for my older gentlemen friends (they are all around 20) that may be different but that is because I am a flirt but if I am in a relationship, I cut the flirting act with guys who are not my boyfriend and I make it clear that I am in a committed relationship.

[skaterkid123]

trsut me you guys friends like you or else they wouldn't bother talking to you, I promise

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Haha no, I am not their type at all, they all like Asians, in fact a lot of them like my best friend (she is Korean). Again, older friends, that may be different but they know when to back the fuck off.

[CannabisSeeds]

Lying w*o*e

[pavlove]

some guys don't care and I sleep with those guys girls lol jk

if it bothers you and she won't compromise that's grounds for a breakup due to incompatibility

[skaterkid123]

Actually there is more truth in that first line that you could ever imagine bro

[pavlove]

yea true they're actually the easiest targets for some reason. just didn't want to see like a dick haha

[skaterkid123]

I like my advice straight forward to be honest

[NerdInDenial]

That's a big red flag. I would ask why she needs so many guy friends?

[skaterkid123]

I ask myself that same question

[NerdInDenial]

Could you imagine you having that many female friends?

[skaterkid123]

I do and I know how they are so I cut them off as sooin as i get into a relationship just keep friendhsip casual

[NerdInDenial]

You should at least find out what those guys are offering her, and why she insists on having so many guy friends.

[skaterkid123]

she's just "one of the guys" type of girl so not many female friends cause yeah

[KevinFart]

She's a whore. Fuck her for as long as it's enjoyable.

[skaterkid123]

whoa man easy there were not all psycho like that bro

[Anonymous]

No, some girls prefer hanging out with guys over girls. The same thing applies to guys. Some guys prefer female company over other guys.

I would be fine with my girlfriend having guy friends if:

1. The guy she's talking to is not her ex.
2. The guy doesn't show any temptations of wanting to become more than friends (hugging is ok, sitting on the other's lap is not)

[dudeman]

she's probably boned lots of dudes. probably some of her friends.

[skaterkid123]

nope she is a virgin we made a bet and we went to the gyno I totally lost

[dudeman]

thats dumb they can't tell if she a virgin or not.

[skaterkid123]

nah they are only experts of vaginas and besides I know this girl since she was five, she's never even had a boyfriend before me now if you're not gonna give any constructive advice please leave

[dudeman]

yeah but they can't tell if she's a virgin or not. thats just stupid.

[Christoph82]

she just loves the attention. plenty others out there mate. if it bothers you, go get someone new

[alliecheergirl123]

Nope don't be worried! If she wanted to be with one of her guy friends she would b! But, she's with you!

[skeptic007]

you see all these horrible women answers lol yeah women lie more than men I wouldn't trust her

[JakeTheShyBoy]

WORRY!!! If your girlfriend has too many guy friends, she could dump you and have sex with all of them. Or worse. You gotta do something about it before she does. If not, you are fucked

[Anonymous]

don't let her go out with her guy friends alone, go always with her

[skaterkid123]

nah she shouldn't go out with them at all to be honest

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't think she will be happy if you said that to her, I was thinking if you go with her when she's with her friends should be a good compromised.

[skaterkid123]

I'm not sayiung she should stop having guy friend but I dont think its okay for "friend dates" thats juts a big no no

[chrisbigman]

Not necessarily. Unless you treat her like crap. Then yes, you have a lot to be worried about.

[Joeman1252]

Oh my gosh stop being such I freaking wimp dude she loves u she can hace other male friends

[skaterkid123]

nah man I dont play that if you love her trust her game

[Joeman1252]

It isn't love then friendships and reltionships require trust

[tony72722]

Yeah man. Just don't come off as insecure.

[skaterkid123]

I'm not insecure just pissed off cause c mon bro you're a man and you know what i'm talking bout

[tony72722]

Yeah man I mean.. We both know what guys are trying to do when they are 'friends' with a girl. A girls feelings can be manipulated with the right choice of words. Not saying your girlfriend is weak but it's just that she is a woman. What happens if you guys have a hiccup in your relationship and she starts bitching to chad.. know what I mean? I dated a girl that before and I just played it off as I didn't give two shits. I figured if she was going to cheat on me she was going to do it regardless whether I was hounding her or not. I remember there was a time when she text me saying "Oh okay.. going to hang out after work aaron is going to be there" "Okay babe, have fun" "WTF ANTHONY..." Lol shit you not thats word for word. I say just play it cool but keep an eye out.

[skaterkid123]

I dont fight about this but lets be honest no guy likes guys hangng around their girl. Most girls say its being possesive but we are men and have been around men all the time and we know how guys minds work. No guy I have ever met has become friends with a gal to be a good guy they either gay or want in their pants Feminism be damned we should go back to the days where men and women were only allowed to hang out in romantic settings none of this buddy buddy friendzone bullshit

[WhatTheHellAmy]

nope, you should trust her

[skaterkid123]

lol people who trust end up beign hceated on hell nah

[BertMacklinFBI]

if you two have trust, then no.

[skaterkid123]

trust doesn't prevcent cheating bro

[glamgamergal]

I agree with basically all the guys

[HentaiMaster23]

No I have crap loads of female friends