I think the most difficult part that guys the have trouble when giving gifts to their SO, Valentines or otherwise, is being creative. We tend to think in practical terms. We get things that go along with your interests, something fun, or maybe something practical that you can use (most people have everything they need anyway, so that makes it even more difficult), or even go with the cliche like flowers/candy/card because it is just challenging for a guy to really figure it out. Another problem is that guys will sometimes stick to these cliche gifts because they know that giving their woman a gift they might not enough will be an indicator that they really don't know her as well as she expects him to. Giving your girlfriend flowers when she hates them, giving her chocolates when she has been on a strict diet, giving her jewelry when she already has a box full, or giving her a sex toy when she expects something more romantic and not kinky -- all examples of missing the mark and risk coming off clueless.
The issue is that many women are emotionally driven and would prefer something that touches their heart. So what is a guy to do if he isn't all that creative or thoughtful when it comes to unique gifts?
- If you have the cash to drop, get tickets to an event that you know she will love. A concert to her favorite artist or a date night to an awesome theatre play and give her a small gift to top it off.
- If you want to get romantic, set the mood. Cook her dinner, clean up the house, have everything ready for her to enjoy herself. Make it all about her and her pleasure and she may find it difficult to forget for days or even weeks afterward.
- If you are strapped for cash, you could just write a long detailed letter on how much you love her. Remind her of some of the most romantic times you had in the past. Tell her about where you see each other in the future. Don't forget to let her know just how wonderful she is to you. (Next relationship I get into, I am going to take this advice, on top of any other gifts I may decide to give on Valentine's day)
- One of my go tos is to plan a weekend vacation and semi-surprise her with it. It doesn't have to be extravagant unless you want it to be. Of course, if the trip is not exactly on Valentine's day, you can still give her flowers or candy to at least have something to give her on that day.
- A keepsake is nice, but it depends on how your woman feels about jewelry or trinkets. She might find it corny, or she might be touched. You should know her enough to know how she will react unless this is very early on in the relationship.
- Find out her /favorite/ flower and give her a bouquet centered around it. Roses are cliche -- some women love them, some hate them. Find out what she likes. It shows you put more thought into it than just going for the least common denominator.
I am sometimes horrible to comes to giving gifts because I procrastinate on it. I have a lot of other things going on in my life; college, work, gym, house repairs, etc. But honestly, that is no excuse. If you really love your partner and she is keeping your interests high, why not show your appreciation and adoration?
Finally, I agree with what everyone else is saying. A guy should do these kinds of things spontaneously anyways and not just focus on one arbitrary day. I suppose it is a day set aside to celebrate love, but it doesn't have to a grand gesture. Just a simple card or letter with sincere words, or a poem written that expresses your love, or a nice dinner at home, is all it takes to show you are thinking about her on V-Day.
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Ok, I don't care what anyone says, but most guys do not give a shit about valentines day. Most guys only play along because they might get some sex or avoid a fight. Other than that, most guys would rather forget it. Why? Because there are too much expectations and you always have to one-up the other guy and spend a small fortune on flowers that are dead 4 days laters or buy some silly gift only because it is another expectation. I am not saying it is ok to do nothing. This is basically a day guys are obligated to make their SO happy and show them appreciation. As for getting nothing, the only thing I say about that is, again, some guys are not natural romantics and aren't into cards or flowers or romantic dates. We are also not mind readers, so if you say nothing about in the days leading up to it we start to think we might get a pass and not have to do anything.
Firstly, good for you for getting him something, that's a nice thing to do, you did no wrong by that.
Secondly, he gets to choose to get you something unless you agreed otherwise.
Thirdly, sometimes guys just suck at presents. We don't really identify with what to get as well I think, but that's just my guess and I'm sure there's studies on the subject. We also procrastinate about shopping, I think.
Anyways, I don't think he's wrong for not getting something, though maybe he could have done better, but I also don't think you're wrong for wanting something, because after all relationships are a 'get out what you put in' sort of thing.
You're in no way wrong to feel hurt.
Not that anyone is entitled to receive anything super fancy just because it's Valentine's day, but a little bit more effort from him would have been nice.
I know how you feel, having been in the same situation myself, and still sort of am.
From my own experience with it, do tell him how you feel. That you feel like him just saying you should go to Walmart to pick something out and him not having chosen something out himself to give to you makes you feel pretty shoved aside.
I never think anyone is wrong for feeling the way they do. I just feel like not everyone gets excited about valentines, especially men. It is just a day and although he didn't prepare beforehand at least he is spending the day with you. Don't forget about all the other days of the year he makes an effort.
Dont be sad... my boyfriend didn't even knew it was valentines day until i gave him a rose... i knew he would have forgotten it, so i just bought 1 flower to remind him :D
Your relationship with him is way more important than you buying each other presents. :D
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It Has to Come from the Heart from the Start. Maybe he Wanted to See what you were Giving him. I'd be Hurt as Hell. xx
If you didn't let him know how important V-Day is to you.. you shouldn't complain.
- u
Why are you hiding your disappointment from him?
Absolutely, you are wrong. He may not even know it was Valentines Day and in the unlikely even that he did, it may just be another day to him.
A week before Valentines Day did you remind him that Valentines Day is coming up, that you consider it a very important day and that you want him to give you a gift on Valentines Day? YOU DID NOT! Instead you expect him to read your mind and punish him for not being mind reader.
Women like you are the pits and for his sake, I hope he dumps you because you are not girlfriend material.
Wait until the weekend. Some years I am very busy on February the 14th (because the reality is that its just a normal day that we randomly commercialized because of a nonsense legend). Therefore I normally postpone the Valentine's gift and dinner until the weekend or following week. You're guy might be doing the same thing.
You can save money if you celebrate later. For example at our local stores the price of flowers double or triple near the 14th. My girlfriend would chew me out for wasting money like thatNein. You did something nice for him, but he didn't do anything nice for you in return. I guess what it comes down to is expectations. Did you expect him to get you something or for him to do something nice for you on Valentines Day? There are some guys who doesn't like celebrating Valentines Day and for them, it's just any regular day. In any case, he clearly don't know you at all since he didn't get you anything for Valentines Day and you would have wanted to be given something nice or at least taken you somewhere romantic like a revolving restaurant. I'm so sorry to hear that.
First of all not every single person is entitled to celebrate Valentine's day. First of all it is not a must for us all to celebrate new year's but if I do not celebrate it, it does not stop a new year from being a new one to the rest of the world.
We some of the guys on a smaller percentage we find Valentine'sday like any other day. So for me I cannot celebrate it because am always loving my loved ones like there is no tomorrow. all I always do for them daily is praying for them each single day morning and every single night. Since there id no gift worthy the love n care I do have for them.
So dear if your boyfriend loves you to shits, bits and craziness and cares a lot about you. Better you trash that Valentine's day like some old saggy titts. Since pure love matters more than gifts of roses which gona fade in a single week.You should inform him about it. Getting him something is nice, most men doesn't get anything in Valentine's in a relationship. Perhaps for him, expressing his love for you is not only in a day but everyday. Again, talk about it, they can't read our minds. Yes it's hard but you have to communicate in order to not be misunderstood and for the relationship to work. Good luck!
Imagine that you suddenly stop carrying about this idiot "holiday" and make a present for your boy without any occasion, just because you want to make him happy :) Will you expect from him to give you one right after that or you will let him do it when he feels it?
Just asking...this is old, but next time make your feelings known. fighting off tears? just let him know that he made you upset and made you cry. or else this will happen again and again. what's the point of being in a relationship if you're just going to hide your feelings!
I think people, women usually but people in general put far too much value on monetary gains, i dont care for gifts, but if you made me something i would love that and probably make somethinh in return... some people just aren't as materialistic as all that
I don't think you should be upset or expect anything from him. You gifted him something because you felt like doing it you shouldn't gift people expecting them to do the same for you. As long as he appreciates you and your gestures that's all that matters. Plus he said he wants to get you something cheer up.
I somewhat make a point out of not making Valentine's too special actual. We spend it together and such, I'll probably get her something small. Flowers and such.
Basically because in my head, on a normal day the special effort is a way of showing my affection. On Valentine's it is a way of showing conformity.
Not necessarily bad but not nearly as good.He can get you a gift anytime in the year, doesn't have to be on valentines, when you get married, the important days are Christmas, Easter and your birthday and the datw of your marriage... at least for me these are the important dates.
Its ok to be sad about that. It hurts when you put in effort for someone and they can't even do the same for you. It didn't have to be much but he could have done something to make the day a little special
if he don't care about you and even in valentines day he don't buy you anything then leave from him. you deserve more at least a man who cares about you
Good.
Males should not be forced or expected to buy women shit. Women should also not be taught to expect or demand shit from men. EVER.
This idea is why I lay the groundwork off the start.
I do NOT buy shit for no one, I don't want no one buying shit for me.He should have at least put forth a little effort. My best friend even got his wife flowers and he doesn't really have a romantic bone in his body
there's nothing wrong with feeling upset. however you just need to understand that most men aren't too fond of valentines day.
I'd be fortunate if I could send the gal I love any present at all, and get it through Chinese customs.
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