My boyfriend beat me up this morning?

[Anonymous]

I know I should leave but I love him. I'm 21 he's 31 we've been together 3 years and we live together. He's always been lovely and I didn't expect it. So this morning he got up at 6.30am I didn't need to get up untill 8am but I got woke up with him grabbing my hair ! He was shouting about how I got blood on the bed (disgusting I know, but I didn't know my period was coming) so I got up and took the covers off put them in the washing machine, then went and sorted myself that's when he started. I came out the bathroom and he grabbed me by the arms and started telling me that I'm disgusting which he is right I got blood on his bed, then he banged my head started to punch and kick me, then he got my on the floor and put his knee on my stomach which really hurt and held my throat Then he left! When he came home tonight he never spoke much and told me that I can sleep on the couch because I'm not allowed in our beds. He also won't let me have paracetamol for cramp!!!

I dont know what I do other than get blood on his bed but I cleaned it up straight away.
How can I prevent him from flipping out again?

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

What he should have done: NEVER EVER hurt you, wake you up gently to let you know you are bleeding and comfort you if you feel embarrassed, get you pads if you don't have them, throw the stuff in the wash while you clean yourself up in the bathroom, ask you if there's anything you need like pain meds for cramps. He should have been kind, compassionate, understanding, patient, sympathetic, and LOVING because he is your boyfriend and a decent human being AND THAT IS WHAT YOU DESERVE AS A HUMAN BEING.

Unfortunately, really really truly unfortunately for you, he is not a decent human being. He physically hurt you, which is so, incredibly wrong on so many levels. And he made you feel ashamed and like you had done something wrong when you haven't. Surprise periods happen, and are normal and out of your control. They are not your fault. Bleeding is also not your fault or in your control, and it's not something to feel ashamed for. Yeah, it isn't pleasant to get you period, but it is NOT OK AT ALL FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED FOR IT. I am only putting this in all caps because I feel it is a critical point to make up and want to be as clear as possible.

I'm afraid for you, because I saw a pattern in your story. He hurt you, you justified it and took the blame. It is not ok for him to hurt you. You do not deserve that. You deserve a good relationship.

I beg you to get out of it. You may not have realized it yet, but it is toxic and dangerous. This relationship will not be nurturing, will not push you to be a better person, will not encourage you to grow, will not be a place of support, will not be a place of safety, will not be a place of comfort, I could go on and on.

You deserve better, and what happened is not your fault. It is not your fault for not seeing this in him earlier either. People are incredibly good at hiding parts of their personality.

The fact that you love him is understandable, that shows how much compassion and warmth YOU are capable of. That is a beautiful thing. Heartbreakingly, he has shown that he is NOT capable of that by laying hands on you. That is unacceptable.

Please, I beg you, leave him and seek help and support from your family. None of that will be easy. Brace yourself, but, you CAN get through it. Seek legal, emotional, physical, social help everything! Get your family, a lawyer, your friends, and a counsellor immediately. You can't prevent him from doing anything, this is not in your control. 1/2

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

2/2 (cont'd) Him beating you is the first peak of this part of his personality and behaviour. You can't change your behaviour to change him, you can't change him. Only he can do that. He became irrationally angry and physically and emotionally took it out on you. It is out of your control. Your choice here is to either accept this kind of treatment (and worse) or get out now and seek better options for yourself.

Please feel free to reach out to me. And please take my advice, get out now. You're in a toxic and dangerous relationship. At the very least, tell your closest family and friends, or a professor or academic advisor even, if you're in university. You can message me here though as well.

Good luck with everything, I wish I could give you a hug. I'm sorry for what you're going through. Pleas believe me it isn't your fault.

[KnoxtheFox]

Okay, I was recently in the EXACT same situation, minus the blood.

Number 1 thing you NEED to understand... once they hit and don't feel remorse, it will absolutely not be the last time (best to leave even if they do feel bad).

Number 2, if you were to leave, you wouldn't be alone forever. This guy is not the only guy you'll ever be able to love. There are sooooo many men out there that feel sick at the feeling of hurting a woman in any way.

And number 3, leave for yourself. You are a woman, you bleed. I bleed, every other woman bleeds and you know how a man should actually react to something like that? With compassion and understanding. How fucking dare he punish you in that way, much less any way for something you can't help. Love your body, take care of yourself. As long as you are with that disgusting human being you are in absolute danger.

When you were a little girl did you ever expect to be hit by your "true love"? Bet not, so why think less now?

Please escape from this, doesn't mean you have to call the cops, just find a safe place to stay until friends or family can help you move. Best not to mention anything about moving out or a breakup, that would not end well at all...

Good luck sweetheart. I'm so utterly sorry this happened to you. I'd beat the absolute shit out of that prick and then force his scrotum into his mouth after ripping it off.

[MargaritaPeach]

Wait until he leaves for work, quickly pack up your things, and get out before he comes back home. You deserve better. It doesn't matter if you go stay with friends or go to a church or a shelter. Just get out.

And you are probably too nice for this, but if it were me, I'd sit on his pillow for a while, bleed all over it, and then flip it over so hopefully he wouldn't notice when he first laid his mean, ugly head down on it. Let him try to figure out where the smell is coming from. Then he will be all alone in the house and will have to wash his own d@mn sheets.

[JudgmentDay]

Time to move on and leave him for good. Disconnect everything and every way that he can use to reach you and contact you. Change your phone numbers, change your social media accounts and closed the current ones. Make it as difficult as possible for him to ever find you and contact you again.

Do not allow him to know you are going to leave him otherwise you'd only endanger yourself. He might become even more unstable, angrier and crazier if somehow you let him know. Forget all of your previous emotional attachments, you have to move on and let him go. It's for your OWN Safety and Good. This abuse will only get worse and you run the risk of getting hurt worse or die if you hang around him for any prolonged amount of time.

Seek legal help and get a lawyer or something and file a restraining order against him at some point or something.

And start implementing all of this like right now.

[doetrioux]

Yes, please do this!!

[Intraluminal]

@Doetrioux
WHAT HE SAID! NOW! TODAY!

[JudgmentDay]

@Intraluminal

I would have added to that last and recommended that she get herself a body guard and personal protection if she could afford to even if it was temporarily or if she really want to go down the road of personal defense equipment get something like tazers or stun guns, pepper sprays, lol just an alternative idea to using anything excessive and lethal such as keeping a knive or a pistol for protection, we've seen how all those frequently turn out, right?

[JudgmentDay]

*knife

stupid typos

[JudgmentDay]

and *list

[Waffles731]

Exaclty what he said, You may lovehim but he doesn't love you

[FallOutBoy2001]

It's not your fault you bled on his bed, it happens, periods are sometimes unexpected, it's not your fault he descided to be a horrible person and beat you for something you don't have control over, but you shouldn't stay with him. No one, man or woman, should beat, verbally abuse, or tear down their spouse or child. Think about what will happen if you stay. He'll beat you more, for things less severe, and more frequently, and if you have children? He could beat them, and that could seriously harm them or worse. It's not to late to leave. I know you think you love him, but you need to get away. He might say "please stay, I love you" but he doesn't love you. He pinned you to the floor, chocked you, and hit you. Leave as soon as you can, and go anywhere you can to get away from him.

[Tarvold]

Stop defending assholes. By defending him, you allow him and other assholes think that this kind of shit is ok. It's not ok. You know that it's not ok. Do the right thing and hit that eject button - get a restraining order, and move on to a happier life.

If he's ok hitting you over normal bodily functions, then what happens when you're pregnant and have morning sickness and need to throw up? What happens with your kids and nose bleeds?

Men who can't handle biological realities do not deserve to reproduce. If you must love him, love him like other people who love apes and monkeys - from a distance and behind glass walls.

[onewoundedgal]

Leave! Where is your family or good friends? You are not disgusting however he is a useless piece of shit. Don't tolerate abuse I don't give a dam what happen. Fuck loving him he clearly doesn't love you. Love yourself enough to pack your shit and go. Let him beat his self up when the victim he thought he had is gone. YOU NEED TO LEAVE! NO EXCUSES PERIOD!

[Asker]

They don't live near us

[onewoundedgal]

Go over a neighbor house and inform them. Let them call your family so they can show up while you pack your stuff and let's see how much boldness his punk ass has then. I know you love him and all but love yourself enough to leave now. Give me some family information and I will call them for you. Forget staying there and taking abuse

[Anonymous]

Umm... leave... and call the police.

It's a no brainer

but I know people who are abused usually don't leave cus they find a way to put the blame on themselves and I see you doing that by agreeing you are disgusting.

having your period is not disgusting... every girl gets it. We have all had the spillage accident. If he can't deal with it he's messed up.

I suggest you go to https://www.7cups.com/member/ for support to talk to someone, or speak with a professional who can help you.

This shouldn't even be a question. What you should have done was call the police, and they should stick around until you move your stuff out. The last girl I knew who had an abusive boyfriend got murdered by her boyfriend... so.. this shouldn't be taken lightly. Call the police, pack up your shit, and leave.

[Anonymous]

REPORT HIM TO THE COPS! AND GET THE F** OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.

Let me tell you something real quick there are plenty of men that are better than him doesn't matter if he has the best life in the world money or he's the best in sex but you neeeeed to leave him now.
Even better say tou have kids and your daughter came up to you and told you that her boyfriend did this to her. Are you gonna be like oh its ok, he won't do it again! Or are you gonna go beat rhe crap out of him. Tou can even try it fo tell you're mom or best friend or any members of your family and see if they're ok with it. Its just gonna get worse from the first time leads to 100 times and he's gonna end up in jail. So LEAVE HIM NOW!!

[AndyOh]

If you think that he will change... you are very wrong. There are many women like you who think that love with change or you are in love with him and won't leave. You are fooling yourself.
Get out of there, get help, leave his sorry ass and find a new life. Abuse is not acceptable in any circumstance.
If you don't leave, expect him to beat you up again. Only next time you might end up in the hospital or dead. Think about that and about yourself, please.

[SarahsSummer]

Dump his phycho ass. It'll only get worse from here because what you are telling him is "its ok to beat me whenever you need to"
Your blood aside from being an accident is a natural part of being a woman, which he obviously can't handle.
Please stop justifying his violence against you and leave NOW!!

[GingerGuy]

You can't. This is going to continue and it won't matter what it has to do with. I'm really confused why you "love" someone that beats you. LEAVE HIM!! He definitely DOES NOT love you. Nobody beat up someone they love.

[Asker]

He's only did it once, I may never do It ever again though.

[GingerGuy]

He will. No guy beats a women once and never again.

[Asker]

I guess I best just leave then

[bdbee]

But you won't. That much is obvious with your tone about this already. i seriously advice you to take pictures of the damage now, because he will do it again and again if you don't leave him, and if you don't document it and try to get out of all this later it will be very difficult without physical proof.

[Panay]

Even if he doesn't, someone who thought that was ok even once really can't be a nice person-certainly not someone you would want to be in a relationship with.

MAYBE if a guy confessed to his girlfriend that a very long time a go he beat up an old girlfriend for no real reason, but he was ashamed and seemed sincere, you could get past it.

But he abused you, definitely without reasonable cause, and the abuse continued past an punch in a fit of rage.

[Touglyforfemales]

SMH you can't be that dumb.

[Anonymous]

Wtf? Dump his ass if you stay with him then you deserve it! Your a woman. Your precious and no woman deserves to be beaten on. He's a fkn pussy! Why don't he beat on a fkn man like that.. no it's not your fault so stop letting him tell you that! So what if he got blood on the sheets!! Wash them! That simple! After he did that you should leave his ass! That's uncalled for. Your not disgusting!! Every woman has that time of the month don't blame yourself you need to leave him and find someone who appreciates you. Then he makes you sleep on the couch? Hell no I'd dump his ass and find a real man and not a pussy that beats on a woman. Bough said.

[Jaz1295]

You need to go there is no question about it. If he got mad over something that happens naturally that for the most part a woman has no control over. What's going to happen when you tick him off during an actual argument. Basically I agree with @JudgmentDay

[RJGraveyTrain]

You fucking leave because he's a fucking psycho who doesn't give a single shit about you if he's violently beating you for an accident. Seriously, get the hell out of this delusional fairy land you live in and contact authorities before this guy fucking seriously hurts you.

Here's the number: 911.

Call it. Report it. Leave. Never go back unless you WANT to get hurt and/or potentially die.

[dipta]

I hope you're not trolling, because this isn't any funny.
What kind of man would beat up a woman - on top of that a woman he supposedly likes - over something like that? I don't care if it's a puddle of blood on his freaking bed and he has a lot of things going on. That spells hate.
Why would you even be there when he came back home in the evening? Why would he be "right"?

[LifeEqualsLove]

Omg please leave him!

That is not love. Thats so horrible.

Ask yourself why you love him. Then think about what he did that morning. Does it justify anything?

If you had a daughter and she told you this story, what would you advise her. You know what to do. Its hard, I get it. You've grown accustomed to him, but is this really someone you want to be with?

Someone that hits you repeatedly for one mistake. Please leave!!

[DarkManX]

I suggest you should leave him, now and forever PERMANENTLY.
What does this mean he saw a blood and treating you like that? what an a man.
If he is man enough he wouldn't do that to you, I'd say p***y leave him, he doesn't deserve good girl like you.

[This_is_my_username]

You better Dump HIS ASS! this is not your fault accidents happen. Your boyfriend is a MONSTER! he need HELP. You need to leave... or else things will get worse and god know what will happen. Why do you think that you deserve someone treating you like crap? Leave him. NOW!

[singlebee]

Immediately dump that asshat... he is a psycho..
What's the big deal if you bleed the bed?
If I was in his place I wouldn't be even mad... infact I would take extra care of you or make you some soup or something... Lol

But good behavior is totally wrong... And he had no right to hit you for the way your body naturally reacts...
It's time to move on!! staying in a abusive relationship is stupid as fuck!

[Marttinez]

I know you're probably not gonna listen to anyone's advice, but I guarantee you one thing, if you don't leave him, don't be surprised if he keeps beating you for any other reason, by allowing him to get away with that, is like giving him full control to exert his power and control over you.

[YoloKitten]

Um, you can leave his fucking ass... That is terrible, you may love him, but please get out of that. I know that if a man truly loved you, he would not have done that over a period.. please go to the police. He is a lot older than you as well. I know that It can be hard to get away from abuse like that, but it's harder to stay and be abused. Please please please, go to the police, and leave him.

[Anonymous]

wear pads and you will have no problem, when you think your period can come just sleep on the couch. he'll don't get angry anymore. You can't clean blood, he'll always have a trace so after you had to put it on the trash when you pay it a lot. buy him new (did the blood touch the mattress? because if yes, I understand why he act like that)

[Asker]

No it never hit the mattress, it's me that buys all the bedding anyway soo and it wasn't much blood

[Intraluminal]

Fuck that shit! She needs to get away from this crazy loser.

[Opinion Owner]

but it's still gross and you should wear pads when your near to have your period

[Anonymous]

Why are you apologizing for being a woman if he's mad about you getting a period at his age then he's stupid as hell. It's human nature it happens ! Honestly if it's that bad already it's not gunna change from experience he didn't even care to apologize over something so simple

[Intraluminal]

Exactly!

[Panay]

Unless you've had a habit of beating the shit out of him before now (in which case you should both be arrested), GET OUT.
There are very very very few excuses which could justify him abusing you like that, and making a simple mistake like that is not one of them.

I'd understand if he was annoyed, maybe angry. If he'd lashed briefly in anger, and was ashamed, maybe you could get through it if your really loved him. However what he did to you is inexcusable.