How do you make your relationship official?

[dncrlisa]

well I don't know how it works anymore I've been single forever really I'm 22 an all I have been doing for the past few years was seeing guys an it just never worked out for long an it never went anywhere.

but with this guy I'm with at the moment I just don't know how to ask what are we I'm so scarred I just can't be open anymore with the guy I like cause I been so hurt previously I don't know what to do. we been seeing each other nearly 2months we talk everyday texts an see him twice or sometimes 3 hmm any advice please. I'm just to afraid to talk bout it?

[ArtistBboy]

Tips for asking:

1) Be precise, don't make a novel out of a simple question

2) Be descriptive, don't let him get the wrong idea of what you're asking

3) Clarify your own feelings or desires

4) Remember not to "expect" any given response; it could be yes or no at any time.

5) Never fortify an answer in your mind; life changes and so do feelings.

Ways to ask the question that matches all of those standards:

1) "Hey john, I've grown feelings for you as more than friends. Do you feel the same?"

2) "Will you be my boyfriend (or girlfriend)?"

etc

The best times to ask, are after a small amount of conversation. Try to lead the conversation towards something positive about EACHOTHER; not just about you and not just about them. A lot of the time, you will notice that people will either praise themselves or praise others; bring each other up together.

Aside from that; there are certain boundaries that we each set for ourselves. Those boundaries are great to clarify; for instance, when someone says "I don't sleep with people unless I'm in a relationship" and the person sleeps with you, it's saying that they are WILLING to date you. Not that they are automatically-and-emphatuately in love with you.

- This means that it's always a good thing to pay attention to actions. Actions speak 10x louder than words.

Aside from that, just take the deep breath it takes; then speak from your gut while being honest and modest. There's no sense worrying about telling someone you like them. If they decide not to respond or to "push you away"; they are actually saving you before you waste your time. It prevents you from pursueing someone that may not be interested; just thank them and then focus your energy towards someone that is reciprocative of your interests. There are a LOT of people that you can meet in the "real world" that are interested, but that don't speak up.

Keep your chin up; and quit being afraid =P (Afterall, it's okay to be human)

~ ArtistBBoy

[sagattarius22]

I agree with ArtistBoy, I am in the same situation as you right now as well and I know the feeling where you can't ask the question straight out. I always hint to things to see what he means but he never takes any and runs with em the way I think he should. He may be afraid to ask you as well because he may think oh well she would have said it if she wanted too. I know that the guy I am dealing with and I talk a lot and he'll ask me "what's on your mind" and then I may sugarcoat what I am really thinking and see what he thinks. You may can hang out with him or after you all kiss or something you can ask "what's on your mind" but like Artisboy said you have to be prepared for both responses. Also when you ask a question lke that also be prepared that he's gonna ask the same question back and this may be a time when you feel comfortable able stating your feelings. Good Luck