Should I be mad that I saw that my boyfriend is on Plenty Of Fish?

[Miss_Desirae]

So, I'm at my boyfriend's place and he is letting me use his laptop while he's gone for the week since he's going out of state for a regional board for the Army. Well, I went on yahoo, and I am so used to just going there and automatically going to check my email since on my computer, I'm always logged in, so that's what I did without even thinking, but instead of going to my inbox, I was directed to my boyfriend's inbox. It didn't occur to me until I saw the kinds of email in there. There was stuff from Facebook from people from his family and friends, which I definitely wouldn't get. It was no big deal, but I also saw that he got quite a few messages from girls on that one dating site plenty of fish. I checked the dates they were sent, and they were sent during the past few days. So, I decided to check out his profile on there, and I looked under his relationship status, and it was marked N/A. But, I was wondering if maybe he created his account when we happened to break up that one time and just maybe forgot to change his relationship status on there... I was thinking about taking a look at the messages, but I'm afraid to do so... I know he hates cheaters, and he knows I hate them to and would drop him in an instant if I found out he cheated. And he still tells me he loves me and still plans things in the future with me and buys me stuff that I like even if I don't ask for them, cuddles me and holds me and kisses me... I don't see any differences in his actions or behavior at all. I don't really know what to do, though. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

People say that snooping is wrong, and technically it is, as it's an invasion of privacy. But come on if you have pretty good circumstantial evidence then snooping is the best option to confirm your suspicions or put them to rest. If your man was cheating and doing something wrong on PoF, do you think he'd come out and tell you? Most cheaters aren't going to come clean and be honest so yeah sometimes snooping is necessary. I don't know about you but I'd rather snoop and be "sneaky" then end up with sores all around my mucus membranes because I wanted to respect his privacy when he turned out to be cheating all along. You gotta do what you gotta do.

[Anonymous]

Honestly if I were you I would look at them because his profile is sending a warning message right away *Relationship status- you think if he really truly loved you he would remember to change it... and then him talking to another girl is pretty fishy to me, I would look that way you know now instead of later, and if he is cheating on you, the first thing I would ask him is why do you say that your not in a relationship on your profile because that shows him that you didn't look because anyone can see his profile page including you and see what happens from there. Good Luck, I hope it all works out for the best!

[amalya-thane]

Personally, I would look at it for my own peace of mind. If all is fine no one needs to know. However if you do find out he has been cheating it'd be better to know now, when you don't suspect a thing, than finding out later on in the relationship. good luck

[jevaunit1]

com' on, so you just tripped fell and landed in his inbox...lol ooook that's her story and she's sticking to it, any way, besides the fact that you totally violated his privacy you should feel a little upset, but then again you said you guys broke up before, so it could just be junk from that. only one way to find out, but be carful, you might not like what you find...good luck.

[Miss_Desirae]

I'm not lying about what I said at all. I'm not the type to snoop, and you don't have to be so rude and assume that I'm lying.

[jevaunit1]

Didn't say you were lying.., but woman have a way of just stumbling upon things, that if it didn't open the 1st time you stumbled over it, you stumble until it dose..but any way, sorry. for being rude, but did you read 'em yet?

[Miss_Desirae]

I'm sorry too... I guess I'm being a bit over sensitive right now.... But no, I didn't check them. I'm too scared. I really do love him, and I'm scared of getting hurt. I've dealt with getting hurt way too much. I don't know if I could handle it if he really was cheating or something...

[jevaunit1]

Getting hurt is apart of life, when you workout you know what you're doing? your make small tears in the muscle, sure it hurts, but it's the only way to get stronger. If you'd rather just be blind to what's right in front of you, then do that, sign him out and live happy ever after with a guy that could be cheating on you, or you could check it, except it and have closure. why'd you guys break up the 1st time?

[Miss_Desirae]

We broke up at first because he was flirting with a girl online while I was sitting right next to him. She said that she was in love with him, and that she wished that she could go to bed with him, and she wrote things like *kisses you long and passionately* and he replied *kisses you back* to her. He said that she knew that I was with him, but I got mad because I don't think you should be doing that sort of thing in a relationship, and I felt cheated on.

[jevaunit1]

Our brains work differently, we think it's ok to flirt with other woman as long as no emotions are involved, but if we see our woman flirting with other guys, we get up set no matter what...it's a double standard I know. From what you've explained to me he did kinda cheat...like I said it's up to you, do what feels right in your heart. but after going back and forth with you through these comments, you seem like a really good person, I don't wanna see you hurt :)

[VashX323]

I mean if you trust him a lot, don't read them, but the curiousity kills, I know I would like to take a look, I mean what if he was cheating on you? In my opinion, you should take a look, if there's nothing wrong or anything of him doing anything wrong, than ignore it and don't tell him about it, keep it a secret, but if something is going on than let him know.