My boyfriend blocked me in social media. We're in a LDR. Advice please?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a very busy guy. He finds time for me when he can and I understand that. I told my best friend I miss him and that he's becoming distant. She got pissed because he's not treating me like a priority. So she messaged him and called him an a**hole. He blocked her afterwards. I didn't know she would do something like that, I only found out after she told me my boyfriend blocked her. So I messaged my boyfriend and apologized on her behalf. Told him I had nothing to do with it or even have an idea. He ended up blocking me on Facebook. I tried calling him using Google Hangouts, no answer and blocked me. I called him on Snapchat, no answer and blocked too. He also blocked me on Twitter, Google+, YouTube. He still has me on Instagram and Whatsapp but I think it's only a matter of time until he realizes that and blocks me there too. This isn't the first time he had blocked me on Facebook but he usually unblocks me after a day. It's been 3 days and still nothing.

I don't want us to break up. We don't always fight or argue. We had more good times than bad. We both went through a lot together and have been there beside him through thick and thin. I loved him when he had everything and still loved him just the same when he's one step closer to having nothing. I just don't know what to do. I need some advice. Does he need his space or that's him telling me we're done?

Updates

+1 y

Found out his reason for blocking. He was fed up with the drama and long messages. Instead of telling me straight on, he chose to block me instead.

Updates

+1 y

** Thank you everyone for the replies! It means a lot to me. 😊

[mindequalsblown]

No one knows your relationship better than you guys, but I was honestly extremely shocked when I read about his reaction. I think it was pretty rash given that you explained to him what had happened... I would suggest communicating your feelings to him clearly without sounding angry or accusatory. Being in a long distance relationship myself and having experienced many ups and downs, being open and honest is absolute key to relationship success.

As for your friend, I would tell her not to act on your behalf and make her realize how detrimental such actions can be. I also have a couple of friends who behave similarly and like to make comments about my relationship despite them not having any idea what it's like to be in one anyway.

Try not to panic. All I can really say is that your boyfriend's behavior was extreme and I don't really know how you're at fault here, but at the same time if you love him, you will try to handle this situation in a way that reflects that. Tell him about your feelings and ask him about his. If you are both dedicated enough to understand each other, it should be fine. :)

[Asker]

My friend admitted it was her fault and she apologized but I haven't replied yet because I can't really talk to her right now. I'm just worried that he might not reconsider and unblock me and fix things. I actually emailed him and told him that I never said anything else to my friend about what's going on in our relationship. She just felt that he's not making me a priority and I understand that he has a lot going on right now so I was okay if he doesn't have enough time for me but as long as he talks to me when he can, then everything is fine. I also said that I want to clear the air and move on from this. Email is my only way to communicate with him since I'm blocked everywhere.

But as of now, I'm just going to give him his space to cool off and just continue praying for him and his safety. Hoping he'd come around.

[mindequalsblown]

I wish you the best of luck then.

[Asker]

Thank you. :)

[rozequarts]

I'm going to rant here and you might not like my answer, but this is just ridiculous, so forgive me beforehand. Please forget about his petty ass. You deserve so much better. Please realize that this behavior is a warning for whats to come!!! Just imagine what he would be like if it wasn't LD. It doesn't matter how busy someone is. He eventually goes home to eat and sleep doesn't he? So he can find 3 minutes to talk to you. If he doesn't talk to you everyday, I dont think he cares about you as much as you care about him. And jeebus you were apologizing!!! What kind of person blocks you when you apologize for someone else? These little games are pathetic. You sound like a nice girlfriend, I know you could do better. And even if he isn't "done" with you, please for your own good move on and find someone that will treat you better. I've been in your same shoes, glad that person is out of my life.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

You're friend should not have messaged him. No one likes to feel they're being talked about behind their back by close friends or their partner.

He'll probably be under the impression that you've been talking mean to your friend about him. Which does seem that way by your friend being rude and insulting to your boyfriend

I'd be furious if my friend did something like that to my boyfriend. It's troublemaking

Sometimes people block in the heat of the moment when they feel angry or hurt. He'll feel angry your friend messaged him , and hurt coz you've talk to your friend instead of him.

All you can do is hope he contacts you when he calms down.

[Asker]

Even if I explained that my friend doesn't know anything at all between us? I mean, I tried talking to my boyfriend about things and he just dismisses them and calls it "drama". I only messaged my friend regarding him because I got no one to turn to and I needed to get it off my chest. I really do miss him a lot and I apologized profusely. Owning up to it. I haven't talked to my friend even if she apologized and admitted it was her fault. I just can't talk to her right now.

[Anonymous]

he maybe found someone locally or has a long list of online "girlfriends"... really, all an LDR is any way are "penpals".. you need a real person in real contact... not typing on a screen.

[Browneye57]

What a disaster. This is why it makes SO much more sense to date someone you can actually SEE and BE WITH. Oh well.

[Browneye57]

On update...
Yeah, there ya go. A guy will only put up with so much of that. It's the 20K words a day for the ladies, and 7K for the men - your girlfriends are a better outlet for a lot of chatter and drama.

So now what? Do you two EVER get to see each other? Or is this more of a pen-pal thing?

[Asker]

We're planning on seeing each other but the budget got tight on both of us but supposedly, August. We're thousands of miles away, we dated before we became long distance.

[maaac98]

If he 'only finds time for you when he can', he's not your boyfriend. Sorry to break it to you but you're his backup for when he gets back. He'll know that you'll be there ready waiting for him and that degree of comfortableness can really mess with you as his 'girlfriend'. You shouldn't be making all the effort to keep the relationship going. Dump his ass and find someone who actually appreciates you and looks forward to spending time and talking to you. Otherwise you just risk him using you for a longer period of time and regretting it that you didn't leave him sooner.

[samhradh_leannan]

I understand that he's hurt, but his reaction was rash and immature. I'd say give him a little space, then talk to him about it. But to be honest, it doesn't sound like your relationship is strong enough to remain healthy across long distance. LDRs require a lot of healthy communication in order to function. Otnerwise there's basically no point in even trying.

[Asker]

He wasn't like that before to be honest. We used to talk a lot, not a day goes by that we didn't. We'd call each other and video chat. Then he had some serious life problems that he needed to focus on. I asked him about it before and he needed time. But he still messages me when he can. Then there came a time that I became too clingy and we argued. I backed off and realized that I was wrong. So I told him that I want to fix it and fix myself in the process. He told me that if i found out how to fix myself, I should let him know so he can do the same. With that, I think he still wants to make things work. Then that incident happened and now, I'm just waiting.

[samhradh_leannan]

It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. We all have room to improve, but your partner should not be telling you to "fix yourself". Yikes.

[Asker]

Oh no no. I told him that i wanted to fix myself. He just wanted to know how I'm going to do it so he can do the same for himself. Sorry if that was misunderstood.

[samhradh_leannan]

Oh, okay. Well, that's slightly less shocking.

[samhradh_leannan]

My ex used to turn off his phone during fights instead of just communicating and working through stuff with me. It ended up being really damaging to me, emotionally. That type of behavior is very unhealthy and manipulative. It says that your feelings are not important to them- that the completely real emotions that you are genuinely experiencing are nothing more than "drama" and "hassle". That all they have to do to stop being bothered by the situation is shut you down. That's super unhealthy. If someone needs a few minutes to cool off, that's understandable. They can tell you they need a little time, then put their phone down for a few minutes or go for a little walk to clear their head. That's fine. But blocking your partner or turning your phone completely off during a fight is a manipulative power play. It's shutting your partner out at a time when the relationship is vulnerable. And that's just not okay.

[EVPExaulted]

Honey. I don't mean to be blunt but you should count him as a lost cause. I've been through situations similar to this and every time I was cheated on with not a word of remorse at all. So treat people the way you want to be treated and if they do not follow in kind, then show them they are not worth your time or effort. Find out more so who you are as a person and think about the respect that one deserves in a relationship and then ask yourself, " Is this man showing me the respect I deserve for putting my time and effort into his life and letting him into mine by simply walking away without so much as a hint as to where or why the isolation?" You are stronger than this in my opinion love, so stay strong!

[evelyn26]

Wow, he's being a jerk. After all you've been through together and you being there for him. A lot of girls wouldn't do that. He owes you an explanation. You apologized for your friend thats that its done.
I think you should give him a few days and if you don't hear from him, contact him. Tell him you need an explanation of why he is acting like that and that if he won't give you one-tell him your're done.

[Blonde401]

You both seem to old for this childish bullshit. This is teenage shit and it's the easiest way to abuse an LDR - blocking you. I'd move on. Don't let someone have that power over you. Your friend needs to stay out of your relationship though.

[Asker]

Yeah. We both are too old for that shit but he chose to block me instead of straight up talking to me.

[Blonde401]

Dump him. It's not even that you're not a priority - we all have busy lives and LDRs are different to relationships where you're always around someone but he doesn't act like an adult about things and it's probably time to move on. Seems like he doesn't care if you leave anyway.

[Asker]

True. Been thinking about that after having a few conversations here. A lot of people have been a great help here on GAG.

[Blonde401]

I'm glad :) sometimes gag is a good place to get a second opinion.

[Asker]

That's true. I mean, some of the people I have talked to here made me forget about this whole thing. I get opinions on both sides. It's great.

[Blonde401]

:) I'm glad. Yeah it's deffo better to move on. You deserve better than this.

[Asker]

Thank you. 😊 Everyone said so too. 😊

[BeautifulPromisesx]

Let that
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[Mona17]

you need to calm down first , give him some time , I know it's difficult on your part but you have to understand and have patience... he will talk to you just give him some time

[SarahsSummer]

Do you ever or have you ever had time together, in person to talk?

[Asker]

We're currently in a LDR. 8000 miles. Budget is tight for both of us.

[SarahsSummer]

Wow! How did you meet?

[Asker]

Lived in the Great White North for a year. That's where we met. Typical country boy meets city girl kind of thing.

[SarahsSummer]

And then one of you had to move away? How long together and how long apart?

[Asker]

Yeah. Been together for about 7 months. Apart for 5.

[SarahsSummer]

That's tough. The blocking by him isn't a good sign. I'd say you need to find a way to get together in person to rekindle, touch each other. Is there any way to meet in between or is it like 8000 miles from L. A. To Sydney Australia with nothing but ocean between?

[Asker]

There's a way to meet in between but he can't leave his job at the moment for a vacation because he had some life issues before and they just rehired him. But I was planning on moving back there for good, hopefully, in August. Because that has always been our plan.

[SarahsSummer]

If he keeps up his blocking game, I'd rethink moving back.

[Asker]

Honestly, with or without him, I will move back because that place felt more like home than my actual home. And it has been my dream since I was 10. Not gonna hold that dream just because he decided to block me.

[SarahsSummer]

Oh good. Then if he keeps up this blocking game I'd rethink connecting with him WHEN you move back "home"

[Asker]

That's true. His cousin has been checking up on me because of it. She thinks he's too narcissistic to realize what he's doing and how he treats other people.

[SarahsSummer]

If that's the case, are you rethinking your views of him?

[Asker]

Honestly, no. He's my best friend, well, was. And despite all that, I still love him just the same. He's been a great boyfriend before he became distant and before it all went down to shit. He was the best, at least used to be.

[SarahsSummer]

Everything "used to be" something, until it isn't anymore. I'd think about who and what he is now vs thinking about what he used to be.

[Asker]

Got a point there. Still weighing it. I mean, I've seen the signs before. Him being a narcissist. Yeah, I've seen it. Probably got worse now since he doesn't realize what he does and how he treats people. Only thinks about how he feels.

[SarahsSummer]

Good luck to you. You obviously care but maybe he's just not worthy of someone who cares if he only cares about himself.

[Asker]

Thanks. He may not deserve it but I will always care for him. We may not be together that long but he meant a lot. The good times will always stay with me. We had more of that than bad. But hey, things change. It may not be now but eventually, I'd move on. Just taking it one day at a time.

[SarahsSummer]

Good attitude but I wouldn't put any effort into reaching out to him, either directly or through friends/family. That's on him to now.

[Asker]

Yeah. I won't anymore. I just talk to his cousin when she checks up on me but I don't initiate the contact. She messages me first.

[SarahsSummer]

Don't tell her you miss him or get messages to him. Just let her know you're fine, totally fine.

[Asker]

No I don't tell her that. After she asks how I am, we just talk about something else.

[SarahsSummer]

That's good.

[akadatank44]

You and him are done. Realize it, learn from it, and move on. Dont dwindle on tbe subject. Try and get over him. Everyday will be a little bit easier.

[princesslolita]

What a kid! Reminds me of my own boyfriend, my condolences!

[Bigclit]

Leave it alone. It's a blessing in disguise is trust me

[LiamJHayden]

LDR and he's blocking you? I personally would move on.

[3timesaday]

Give him space woman let him come too you. If he doesn't then move on.

[slatyb]

Sounds like he's telling you you're done.

[Aming]

thats a very mature response from him.

[nalavadeabhijeet]

give him some time and space
he's hurted

[catelyntje]

Block him back and chill

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Your boyfriend is a little cry baby.

[mzkrazie255]

move on your better off without him

[kat1280]

he dumped you. sorry