How to really get under my boyfriend's skin? He's a complete, heartless jerk

[Sarahgurl18]

OK so me and my boyfriend been together for 2 yrs...lot of good times, lot of bad. Anyway, He says the meanest sh*t and just acts like he doesn't care how I feel or what I have to say. Like when we are arguing. And seriously most of the time I don't deserve the things he says, I'm a nice caring pretty laid back girl...but of course I'm def not innocent sometimes. OK so my question...how do I get under his skin. Like, what can I do or say that will actually take him down or make him think for a minute? I don't wanna make him mad, I wanna hurt his feelings a bit and make him feel how he makes me feel a lot. I just really wanna see if he's not as cold as he seems to be. Lately instead of keep arguing with him, I just give him the silent treatment after a minute, but seriously guys, your input would be greatly appreciated.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Sorry I refuse to help girls like you. He treats you like sh*t sometimes, says a bunch of things you don't really deserve to put up with, and yet you're still with him? Sorry but if you ask me, he's just what you deserve. Girls like you simply need to open their freakin' eyes and realize these guys aren't worth being with. The only reason you're still with him is the same as the one a LOT of other girls pick assholes for boyfriends - they think they can change him into being someone loving and caring.

Well GUESS WHAT?! You can't, OK?! So STOP TRYING! Get yourself someone DECENT! STOP giving guys who obviously don't seem to give a sh*t a chance! How is it fair that decent guys get shot down immediately without having even been given a chance, while guys like YOUR boyfriend keep getting one opportunity after the other to make you feel like sh*t? How does that make sense? It doesn't. The truth is, you're attracted to that sort of sh*t, but you just don't know it. Until you open your eyes and realize what the hell is going on, this situation is always going to keep repeating itself.

Now just in case I'm mistaken about this guy, I'll say this - are you SURE he's being as bad as you say he is? There's two sides to every story, really. When you tell us he says he meanest sh*t and doesn't care about how you feel, is that only in arguments? Are you absolutely SURE you didn't do ANYTHING to make him p*ssed off? I know this wouldn't really justify his actions, but it would indicate that you're not exactly a saint, either.

Also, after 2 years in ANY relationship, trying to get under your boyfriend's skin and hurt his feelings is just plain childish and immature. You should grow the hell up instead and try TALKING to him about it, instead of resorting to these petty mind games.

Oh and one last tip - he says the meanest sh*t and acts like he doesn't care, because YOU LET HIM!

[da5id]

I agree with a lot of what you're saying but you're doing the same thing that you tell her is futile, you try to change her around into being someone with half a brain... its nice to vent but equally immature

[Sarahgurl18]

You can say what you want, and yea I'm deff not innocent all the time, but I never take it to the level he does....the only reason for my question is because I just wanna see if he really is heartless as he seems, so I can decide my future, no its not right what I'm doing but I think it is necessary so think what you want

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

There's an easier way to figure out what you want. It's called "opening your eyes and using your head". It's called taking a good look at your overall situation, and assessing if this is the guy you really want to be with. You shouldn't even have to try getting under his skin to figure out if he's heartless - you should have figured that out already! It's been over 2 years!

Oh and if talking to him doesn't work, what the hell are you waiting for? These things don't fix themselves.

[Jon364]

Why do silly bitchy women do this sh*t. These mind games...

You are angry, and you are asking for advice for some "extra ammo" so that you can put further fuel on the fire.. and then when it bites you on the butt, you will be complaining again.

If you are happy with this guy, you shouldn't be acting like this.

If you are unhappy, you should be moving on. Not looking for ways to stick the knife in.

On to your question.. Everyone is different. The easiest way to attack your man, is to emasculate him. To throw in a cheap shot about his penis, or about his role in the relationship (not being a "proper man"), or not being tall enough, or strong enough. He might not say anything there and then, but he will think about it later, and it will nag on him. Why you would want to inflict that onto someone you supposdely care about.. I don't know.

He could easily reply with the typical "yeah but you need to lose some pounds". Or numerous other cheap shots.

How about talking to him as an adult and telling him what he is doing (without mean intent behind it), instead of trying to play emotional mind games. Or move on. Both of these options are the adult way of handling things.

[da5id]

WHAT THE HELL +100 POINTS!

[Sarahgurl18]

Because talking to him about it doesn't work....you would understand if you were in this relationship....thanks for the response

[Jon364]

If you can't talk to each other properly, the relationship has failed. Good luck anyway, whatever you choose to do.

[danni6888]

Leave him. make him realize what he's got. and then play hard to get when he comes begging back. You don't deserve to be treated in a nasty way. And I think he's grown accustom to you and how you'll react when he says or does certain things. So if you pull that rabbit out of the hat, he'll NEVER knew what hit him and it will possibly change him pretty drastically. Remember, you have feelings too and they need to be treated right!

[kriskahn21]

I noticed that you still consider this "jerk" your boyfriend. How about NOT being with him and NOT wasting your time trying to get under his skin. Find someone who will appreciate a beautiful, sweet, and laid back woman! You'd be surprised at how many men would bend over backward for you!

Good luck!

[kikilove]

Playing games isn't going to get you anywhere. This relationship is clearly making you unhappy and this dude sounds like a jerk, so what are you still doing with him? Do yourself a favor: dump his ass and find someone you don't have to play games with in order to see how much they truly like you.

[Aeolian27]

Sometimes it is easy to take the people we care about for granted, especially after a few years. I think you need to make a determination about how compatible you two really are. If you still feel that the relationship is salvageable, then you need to take action. If you play a bunch of silly MIND GAMES then you will most likely put the final nail in the coffin. You may get satisfaction in the short term for making him jealous or something like that, but it will erode the trust in your relationship and ruin it in the end. You need to be DIRECT with him, without getting overly emotional or angry. Make sure you are being reasonable. If you are doing the same types of things to him, then don't play the victim. Tell him the truth and tell him it's taking a toll on you, and that you have to find some middle ground. Try to keep your lines of communication open. If you can't work it out, then it's time to move on. Whatever you decide you have to commit to it, and if you decide that you need to leave then you need to be ready to walk that path. Good luck!

[Don_Garb]

You need something that will work more than once. How about creating an imaginary friend? Some nice guy with lots of money who you go and see sometimes. Let's say this guy has a girlfriend, but really he wants you to join them for a 3-way. So the next time that you argue with mister nasty mouth, you can go off and be with your now friends, doing things that your boyfriend doesn't get to do.

I know everyone here will scream that it's dishonest to tell lies, but I think that you play the game by the other guy's rules. You don't owe your boyfriend an honest game after the scummy way he's treated you.

But now look where you are, with a foul mouthed, perhaps sociopathetic turd lump who insults you while you tell him lies to boil his blood. Wouldn't you really rather be with a nicer guy?

[Mat443]

Just stay as you are. Women are programmed to test and get under a man's skin daily. Even if you don't realise it, you are doing just fine. All, the natural passive aggression, patronising, mood swings, moaning about every damn thing, sulking when your not give the right amount of attention or not getting your own way, giving him the cold shoulder but not saying why, snooping through his things, giving him a shitstorm over something he's said, when he took you out that evening 3 weeks ago, totally rearranging his game room, bleaching his best suit, nagging the hell out of him 24/7, gaslighting him, sleeping with another woman over twice your age and then leaving him for her. The list is endless. Now, have you realised that just being yourself is the best way?

[msbossy]

get some of your friends and hang out with his friends and do not mention his name in all night you know his friends will open there mouth that you were there haveing fun and didnot even ask for him, change your number, flip the scrip tell him what he tells you,

[demetri77]

He's not acting LIKE he doesn't care, he REALLY DOESN'T care. There are a lot of pricks like that in the world, and lucky for them there are girls dumb enough to put up with them. This sounds like one of those things.

I agree with Jon364, the relationship has already failed.

[Midoo]

say something hurtful like well maybe if you stopped being suck an ass...

or simply just leave the room like storm out cursing

you know use more hurtful words if your usually as nice as you say he will be taking aback by your reaction.

[spike241]

Don't play these games. He treats you like sh*t and hurts you. If you really want to get to him stand up for yourself and leave him!

[kriskahn21]

EXCELLENT advice.

[Lockjawx27]

If your man is a jerk and treats you like sh*t, then why are you with him. You are the reasons men turn into jerks, because that's who you choose

don't you get it?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you both have lots of personal issues. He hurts you on purpose yet he loves you? And You think this is ok? Both of you need serious help. This type of relationship is not healthy for your self esteem.

[amenah]

just get rid of him. don't bring yourself to his level you deserve better

[Anonymous]

YOu could dump him, that'll teach him. if you stay with a guy who treats you like that then how can you complain?

[Anonymous]

move on with your life and find someone who would treat you better. there other fish in the sea beside one asshole who doesn`t care about you and won't show it.

[hadisidon]

don't have sex. don't kiss but, don't be a bitch!

[here4you]

be the bigger person