I am a Pakistani immigrant living in Norway. My girlfriend is Norwegian and I am a devout Muslim. I love Allah with all my heart, I pray multiple times a day and avoid doing anything that is haram. I am very strict.
She is atheist and I don't see why she cannot respect and worship Islam out of respect to me, my family and culture.
I see her eating food that is not halal and she served me dinner with pork! I cannot believed she done that! I told her not to do it again and couldn't believe she was so disrespectful.
I bought her a burka to protect her modesty. I don't want men thinking she is a slut but she refused to wear it, I got very angry with her and said she needs to be modest and respect me as her man.
I asked her that at the very least she could pray with me a few times a day and she refused. I don't know what else to do.
I can't believe she is being so disrespectful, the Quran says this behaviour should not be tolerated. I moved to this country and she is mocking my culture, family, beliefs and identity.
I love her but I need to convince her to obey Islam and love Allah.
please advise what I should do and get her to respect me and how I can make her see sense
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I WILL NOT LISTEN OR RESPOND TO POSTS FROM FEMALE IN THIS THREAD ANYMORE!!!
I AM IGNORING YOU, DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
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i have nothing but love in my heart brothers and sisters
How can I get girlfriend to respect and follow Islam?
Listen carefully... I appreciate your religious life, I am also religious. But you need to understand a few things. First of all, she doesn't need to and she should not pray with you or wear burqa or anything if she doesn't believe in it. Conversion to any religion is not true if it doesn't happen in a person's heart. Do you care about her actual beliefs or just rituals she does? What is the point in praying if she doesn't believe? You cannot force belief on anyone, it is just something they choose. Your holy book says that some people just don't accept Allah. So, let her go and you will both live happier lives. She shouldn't have given you pork, that's true, she should understand that she disrespected you but you disrespect her too. She doesn't need your protection of her modesty and burqa is not the only way to protect modesty. You sound like an Islamic missionary. Just let her go live her own life and find yourself a Muslim girlfriend. You will torture each other. She will never be a true Muslim and I really hope you care not one of those Muslims who only care about visual conversion and making their European wives submissive. Do you imagine her raising your children? Break up with her, she will cause problems to the peace in your spirit and vice versa!
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
Better by following or dead by stoning, right? I don't mind Islam itself, I mind how you personally speak about her. And you don't think she is a lady, you yourself think she is a slut.
Listen... she should respect your culture and it was wrong of her to serve you pork
But if she isn't a muslim herself, then shouldn't you also respect her own ideas? I mean she is an atheist because she doesn't believe... why should she pretend to believe? isn't that also selfish of you?
trying to instill your culture and your beliefs on her? One things is for her to respect them. Another is to force her to do those things when she doesn't even believe in them.
You will put her through a lot of pain if you try to change her... and if you can't be with an atheist, then best to break up, let her be herself and go find a muslim girl for yourself.
Now trying to force it on others isn't right
And this is coming from me who is dating a muslim guy, and Im Christian... and we both respect each other enough not to force our beliefs on the other...
It is about respect indeed and recognizing she is intitled to have her own ideas...
You clearly love Islam more than you love her... so you should be with someone equally as devout as you. But not her. Dont make her suffer just because you can't learn to be respectful of her life choices as well.
same way you were raised in a certain way and culture, she was also raised in her own culture which also defined her. To make your ownr culture be more important than hers and not on equal footing... makes you insensitive and selfish.
people these days should learn to respect we are all humans with differences and no one should be forced to change if they dont want to. As long as she is a good person, you have no right to change her.
ok... but do you also think you may not be respecting her? Because the wanting her to use burka and all... anyone who isn't musli would feel threatened and freaked by it.
Maybe the problem is with the both of you.
her trying to push you to her side and you trying to push her to your side...
like this you dont get a relationship but a game of rope pulling. -__-
listen.. that is for her to decide... I know you are devout and believe your religion is the best and right one. Everyone who follows a religion, to a level, feels that way too.
But that is your opinion. If she likes herself the way she is, then who are you to say that?
Would you like it if she told you that you would be a better person by leaving all the God stuff behind?
ok. but right now you are loving islam better. show her and yourself that you can love islam and her both. Love is selfless... love does not impose on someone... prove to her that you can love her just as much as you love your religion. That is also honouring God, I believe. To love well another human being.
If you believe you can change her and make her convert, then forget that idea... it will only make the both of you miserable and she will probably come to resent you.
Have you talked to her about converting? If so, what was her response?
The problem here is that you are very conservative... about your religion. which is your business... but the problem is you are dating an atheist.. your mistake was not sticking to people as conservative as you about Islam
There, I said it
And lmao really
my guy is of a different race than me and a muslim
so in no way do you have grounds to call me a racist or a bigot.
and it is true that if you keep forcing this on her you will only make her miserable. Best to break up and go date a muslim girl. you can't handle a non-muslim girl, as it is quite clear from all of our conversation.
And I respect muslims deeply. Just not the ones that will impose their beliefs on other and act as they are superior to everyone else.
You do not respect HER beliefs as an atheist! Respect is a two way street. You are showing none to her.
You may well not respond to me. I do not care. Your question is based on the ideals of a very selfish man, expecting her to play your game and totally dismiss hers.
This will all end in tears. It will be YOU that is crying!
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Opinion Owner
+1 y
Why are Muslims so convinced they are the only ones that are right, and their way is the only way? That attitude is what breeds contempt against Islam.
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
Islam is not a race, and I'm not the bigot forcing my ideals, beliefs and way of life on someone else like you are your girlfriend. Your intolerance of her lifestyle is a huge flashing sign of BIGOT above your head
She don't believe in the Quran dude.. the same way people don't believe what I believe-the bible. You can't force people stop.. if I forced people I would be doing more damage in the eyes of my God cause I would be making people turn away instead coming to God. Let people have their own choice.. we all have free Will.
@Asker You need a boot up the ass back to your own country but hey, we can't all get what we want. If you can't allow people there own culture in their own country then you shouldn't be allowed to stay and benefit from that countries stability, freedoms and way of life. I'm done with this conversation. You're an exact example of why people refuse to to help and understand Muslims to seek asylum, and that I have no tolerance for.
@BrittBratt2416 believe me when I tell that most muslims I met are nothing like this guy and rather tolerant. This is why this guy in specific pisses me off so much. He is the reason Islam has a bad reputation.
Her refusal to accept your religion does not mean that she is mocking you. It merely means that she does not embrace your beliefs. She could say that you are mocking her beliefs by practicing a religion that is contrary to her beliefs, right? Non-Muslims don't embrace this idea that a woman has a duty to conform her life to your beliefs/views/practices. Why do you insist on trying to make her be something that she is not? Why did you move to Norway if you cannot tolerate non-Muslims? Your perception of the strength of your beliefs is not proof that you are right and all others are wrong and it is extremely self-centered and arrogant of you to be so self-centered in this matter.
If all of this is so important, why are you still dating her? Aren't you mocking your religion by dating someone who does not accept Islam?
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Asker
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she is a woman so she follow me, simple.
allah blessed her with great beauty that's why im with her.
@Asker I know enough about Islam to understand that it is a religion, a belief, a matter of faith. You are an example of why so much of the world rejects your religion. You are dating a Norwegian girl because she is sexually attractive to you even though she eats pork. What does Allah think about you kissing a mouth that eats pork?
The thing you don't get is that she clearly doesn't want to be a muslim, dont push her to be Muslim if she doesn't want be one. You clearly don't respect her being an atheist. Seriously, look for somebody who actually is a Muslim or wants to be one, or don't force her to become Muslim. If she's smart, she'll leave you by midnight
I know this is an old thread but dude... you're basically calling literally everyone here racist, Islamophobic and disrespectful and expect them to respect your cultural and religious beliefs while treating theirs like shit. You clearly don't respect your own religion or you would understand what it's like. She isn't your wife, slave or Muslim, so get the fuck out. I hope she has already left you.
By the way, I don't think devout Muslims are supposed* to have girlfriends. Still can't force it on others though. Uh-uh.
You won't be able to convert her, period. That's like her asking you to convert to atheism. You need to be more respectful of her beliefs, because religion ain't something you can just go to or leave on a whim. She's going to have to think about these kinds of things y'know.
What you need to do is to respect her culture and her beliefs. You moved to her country, she didn't come to yours. So respect it. She has no obligation to like or follow your religion. I know your quran says it shouldn't be tolerated because your religion is always so self righteous and misogynistic. Im glad she doesn't want to follow your religion, smart girl, why would any woman want to willingly give up her rights and freedom. A burka? Was she wearing one when you met her? Then dont expect her to wear one now. And by your logic most women in the world are sluts because they dont wear burka, pretty much all non muslim women. Kindly gtfo... I hope she smarts up and leaves your stupid backward ass soon
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
religions were supposed to help educate people , improve their thinking. now it seems to dumb people down. and have a rule of making it unacceptable to question your beliefs (like islam) and you have a herd of sheep that can be used by any smart sly mofo in power. your inability to see your own hypocrisy is unbelievable and exeptional, even with all this in mind. are you sure you do not suffer from any mental or intellectual disabilities?
your problem here is you dont understand that she have the right to think and do what she wants, and you wanna force her without her permission, that will not work...
you can't move on in another country and force other to do what you believe, if a norwegian guy would move on to pakistan, would the people there start to eat pork as a sign from respect the culture, I DONT THINK SO...
and ignoring female here shot yourself outside of the border, females are human too, have right to say whatever they think
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
Stop dating her!!! Allah will curse you for dating a atheist. You will end up in hell. You can't marry her! Marrying a atheist is forbidden by shahira law! And this is from my side as acknowledgement. giphy.com/gifs/mrw-teacher-credit-zCsyte7igLafK
I don't think you love her. You just want to change her. Perhaps the best solution is to break up.
She doesn't believe in god. She likely never will. She isn't going to follow a religion she doesn't believe in to please you.
Similarly, a woman who covers up because she has been forced by her husband or father (or in this case boyfriend) is not truly modest and god doesn't accept it.
What's misguided is the belief that women are not people unto themselves, and that they are puppets for the whims of men in their lives.
That isn't a Muslim belief. That is a cultural one.
You and your girlfriend come from very different cultures, it sounds like. She comes from one where women have full autonomy over their lives, and you come from one where they do not. It's not going to work.
I'm telling you this right now: you won't. All you're going to do is drive her away. I think that would be for the best, really. You don't love her, you want to control her. When she sees how controlling you are, she'll just leave you.
Respecting a religion doesn't mean that people have to follow it. You're free to worship as you choose. No one will stop you, and no one ought to disparage you.
However, respecting a religion does not extend to forcing other people to mold to your beliefs. Your girlfriend does not believe in the existence of a god, Allah or otherwise. You ought to respect HER enough not to force it on her.
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
I'm Muslim too, but I don't think it makes sense to ask someone who has their own personal beliefs and practices to leave that all behind. How is her lifestyle any more important than yours? It isn't. So, if you value your customs that highly, you should find someone feels the same way.
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
Lol this relationship is not going to work, your better off finding someone who believes the same thing as you... you can't make or expect this girl to follow Islam just cause you do. I'm Christian and I get the same thing said to me over and over again yet I never force anyone to believe in my God. Just stick with women who mutually agree with your beliefs if it's really that important to you to have a woman practice Islam.
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Asker
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I can convince her to follow islam and see the light, its for the best for all.
What irritates me is that he is trying to force someone to believe in the same as him.
If he is that inflexible then he had no business in dating an atheist in the 1st place
I am Christian and even I can respect there are atheists, Muslims, Jews and people with other beliefs that dont want to be changed and shouldn't be forced to change
it is like saying im better than you
And in God's eyes we are all his children. It is rather arrogant of him to see things this way
and tbh someone that believes this kind of thing, in my view, doesn understand God at all. And I think a real muslim is the one who can respect others rather than trying to impose himself on others.
@SteppingOnRoses yeah I agree and Jehovah wants people to follow out of faith and love someone has for HIm.. not out of force.. hence why He gave us free will to follow or not follow
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
Please find Jesus cause in order to be saved you have to accept Christ as Lord and savior. He never was a prophet, He is the son God and He died on the cross for everyone and their sins. No one will make it into heaven unless they go through Jesus. Accepting Jesus is accepting God.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 14:6 jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Jesus is the ONLY way. He has risen and He is in Heaven with His Father. Mohammed was just a man, he is dead.. Jesus is alive!
Also if he is this conservative I think he's rather silly to even start dating an atheist in the 1st place. Should have stuck with muslim girls and saved everyone a lot of grief.
@asker You ARE forcing. For some people even guidance doesn't work, Quran says it. Consider her lost in Allah's eyes and break up with her, save yourself and let her be happy at least in this life.
No, you can't. Sometimes Allah gives you tests in life to show how you pass it and sometimes you have to give up on some things for God. Stop doing love jihad on that girl!
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
ok ok, first of all, you can't force her to wear or eat as you please. Try teaching or telling her the good thing about Islam, make her excited to know more of the religion. I don't know but you can't force her cause she will hate it. If you respect her, tell her you also need to be respected for your beliefs.
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
I am Also a muslim, and honestly you can't force your girlfriend to be muslim. It's crazy! Think of it the other way. That you're girl wants you to be atheist and forcing you. Would you like it?
@asker This may come to a surprise for you as somebody from Pakistan, but in the west women are equal to men. They don't need to listen to whatever you or your precious book say
@asker No it doesn't, federal law and the constitution is above any religious teachings in any remotely modern country. I don't know if you are quite forgetful, but you left Pakistan. You left the third world for the first world where there is civilisation, laws and equality. They are pretty much all secular countries with a separation of state and religion, meaning religion is irrelevant to the justice system or government.
Well I'm not Muslim but I think if she accept your culture you should also accept her culture, lifestyle and ways of eating and according to me if try to change her things might turn into something bad , if you want to work things tell her Islam don't appreciate pork eat outside and avoid eating pork in front of my family for my sake :) I hope you guys a good and healthy relationship
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
Seeing 'sense' is objective. Just like you think she's being unwise by disobeying your religion,, she thinks your religion is an oppressive religion that inspires terrorists to kill millions more than anything else.
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Asker
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islam is beautiful and peaceful sister. dont be racist and bigoted
Islam isn't a race so.. look up what racism even is. I'm not even bigoted- it's a fact that ISIS, of many others carrying out mass shootings as thousands of migrants who, surprise surprises, are Muslim, are all motivated by this psycho you call Allah.
omg,, after reading her replies, this caveman still believes he has a shot with her (kayla)... holy shite,,,,
hey , asker,, what does your your girlfriend think about having 3 sister wives? does she like that too or is her stance against it? and do you prefer them all to be european women that you converted or do you want a mix of exotic chicks from all places? you sure do seem to like converting the newbies tough. does that score you extra points in heaven? will it give you an additional 5 virgins from the prescribed 70?
I don't understand why my question ignited such fire and hate from everyone. I have deep feelings, my heart is full of love for Islam and my lady and I am struggling. I wish for her to be better by following Islam. I am a happy Muslim :)
I will pray for everyone here and please seriously consider joining Islam!
@juicyjessie i know, that wasn't directed at you. my bad i should have mentioned that it was directed at th op, who is apparently sensitive.
and op, its because of those feelings of yours that other people hate it. you are so enamoured by your own false ideology that you think its better than everyone elses belief and that everyone should follow it. im am very adamant at saying that i would never follow a copy paste religion created by a greedy, warmongering pedophile
Her beauty? You marry a woman in Islam for 4 things. Her beauty. Her family wealth. Her family's name. Not 100% about this one but cbf to double check. Her deen. Your prophet says it is best for you to marry for deen above all these thing. You're also not meant to marry an athiest. A muslim, a Christian or a Jew is permissible to you. You're a troll. To troll, you need to know what you're trolling about.
You cannot force her to obey your religion. Just don't be with a person who you feel is "unequally yolked". In a relationship where you believe heavily in your religion, but the other person does not believe at all, you'll tend to butt heads. You can talk to them about considering it, but ultimately you can't change the other person. I'm religious as well, but you have to understand that some people just don't want to participate in it.
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Asker
+1 y
you follow Islam, simple as that. if she with me, she respect my culture, beliefs!!!
You CANNOT force her to have your views. It's not your place to shove your own religion down her throat. You are not guiding her, you are trying to control her, and deep down you know that it's true. She will turn down the path of Islam if she chooses. If she doesn't, get over it. It was already made clear that she did not believe in any type of God when you met her, so it's pretty stupid that you are just now trying to change her after you already knew how she was. She's not disrespecting you, she's living her own life. And more likely than not, she will not change. If you were so concerned in someone believing like you do, you should've gotten with someone who shares the same viewpoints. Plain and simple.
I'm not racist in the slightest. And by the way, Islam isn't a race, it's a religion. It's fine to want her to respect your worshipping, such as the food you avoid and such. But trying to get her to wear a Burka and to not eat pork (etc)-that's control and you know it. Introduce the ideas to her, and if she doesn't like it SO BE IT. Get over it, or find another girlfriend. She isn't obligated to conform to every idea you introduce to her. She's her own person, not an object. And if you truly loved her, you'd shut up and stop trying to change her when she doesn't want to. Eventually you'll end up driving her away, she'll leave you, and then you're going to be clueless wondering what went wrong 😒
What does her being a woman have to do with anything? You didn't birth her, so you have absolutely NO right to tell her what to do. Ugh all the flaws in Islam. She's her own person. She's not like any animals and land you own. She's a breathing person. She'd be better off without you-with a person that treated her as an equal person rather than property.
THAT'S EXACTLY THE THING. You said it yourself. It's the Quran. YOUR RELIGION. NOT hers. She's an ATHEIST and believes in no God at all. You've spelled it out right in front of yourself, now stop being dense and put what you've said together in your head. She does not believe she should follow everything you say evidently-get over it. She doesn't believe in Islam (and for good causes)-get over it. With your approaches, she will most likely not ever conform to your ideologies-GET OVER IT. You're the one who disrespected your own religion in the first place by dating an atheist. You can't play victim now that the cards have been played out. Either keep her, or find another girlfriend who believes as strongly as you do. SIMPLE.
You don't even know about your own freaking religion and you're trying to force your girlfriend into smh. So quote to me, where does it say the woman should follow the man's commands?
Unfortunately, because if I could try to make him more tolerant, it would be a win for God and for love. Which is all that matters in this world really... how much we can love one another despite our differences.
If you're going to land in a western society and inflict your culture on it, aren't you then being disrespectful? Migration is a privilege afforded to you by the citizenry of that country. If you want to live there you should do you best to assimilate, imho.
Try looking at your religious beliefs from an outsiders perspective - especially a female perspective. I'm very much not surprised she doesn't respect the idea of religion. The idea does not deserve respect frankly.
I also suggest you see the difference between respect for you and for your religion. Keep that view in your mind. They are different things.
You can't force her to convert to your religion. She has her own beliefs. Imagine if she tried to convert you to Atheism, how would you react? Probably the same way that she reacted. Think about it.
Whatever, if she doesn't want there's nothing you can do. It's her choice. If she doesn't believe there's a god, it's not something you can change as you change clothes
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