Why is my boyfriend mad because I wouldn't have sex with him and why is he so demanding of sex?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boy have been in a relationship for 1 year and a half now. I'm 19 and he's 20. Yes we've had sex but I haven't been feeling good. I have a sunburn all over my body that hurts to touch, I'm on my period, my stomach feels queezy, and I have a migraine all day yesterday. Plus I had work all day yesterday which I have to wear scrubs which was rubbing on my burns that whole day. I came home from work and he asked if he could go out with his frat boys tonight I said sure and laid in his bed for the rest of the night. I texted him I was going to bed and didn't want sex tonight cause I wasn't feeling good when he comes home. He came home at 3:30 am kinda drunk and was begging me for sex. He was saying dirty stuff to me trying to take off my clothes. I stood my ground and said no. He eventually got off of me and turned away from me and got on his phone. I said sorry and that I loved him and explained why I didn't want to do it. He just continued to ignore me so I fell asleep. I woke up this morning to him not in bed and he was dressed up in his nice suit saying he was going to get breakfast with his friends. I asked if he was mad about last night and he said he was pissed. He then went on about how he expects it tonight because I didn't yesterday. I said maybe and said if it does happen have it be not so early in the morning this time. He said nope and that I should expect it any time he wants it. I then told him he was being to demanding and that I didn't like it. He came over and hugged me and asked if he was being to hard on me I said yes and he was sorry and kissed me and said he loved Me. He said he would be back in 3-4 hours (LA traffic) got an uber. Thinking our whole discussion on sex was over right before he left said he still expects sex tonight and asked if he could see my vagina I said no and he said that he wanted to fuck me hard tonight then left.

Updates

+1 y

This is the first time this has happened. We normally have a very good sex life just for some reason he was being so demanding of it yesterday and I just wanted to know your opinions on that.

[MrOracle]

He's being an asshole (and being drunk/hungover didn't help). But YOU need to reset his expectations, and NOW, or accept the ones he's giving. In other words, this is a BIG ISSUE, and you need to either work out limits that you can both AGREE to, or you need to break up. You cannot allow this kind of a conflict to continue (it will break up the relationship sooner or later anyway if you don't resolve it now).

[StanLaurel]

You guys are 19 and 20 and already living on your own together? Wow! It must be nice living an adult life at such a young age. I guess that's normal then. I'm over 30 and never been in a relationship or lived on my own. I know I'm a little behind though.

He seems immature by the way.

[ciitruskiwi]

"that I should expect it any time he wants it" Yeah.. you need to dump this guy and soon. He's a jerk if he expects sex every single time he wants it. He is not considering your feelings at all. You need to dump his selfish ass.

[Anonymous]

Honey that's a red flag right there. Nobody owes you sex for any reason. You have the right to refuse. If he still thinks you owe him sex then dump him. What a jerk.

[iminfunbegins]

You did nothing wrong. He was being a selfish A$$hole. Sorry, don't mean to call your boyfriend names but that's what he was being. He has to think about how you're feeling and why you're not in the mood nor can handle sex right now. He should have clearly have hugged or kissed and said no problem we'll do it when you're feeling better and when it won't hurt you. End of story.,

[prvn120171]

Guys feelings to have sex is very instant and strong... keep him sexually satisfied without having sex and when is back to normal make him understand about your condition... if he still behaving same way... you have to think about relationship?

[Intraluminal]

You have very different, incompatible, sex drives. That can't be changed. Long-term he's going to be dissatisfied and rejected, and seek sex elsewhere, and you're going to feel resentful, objectified, and angry.

[Asker]

Sorry I should've put this in the description. But we actually have a really good sex life and normally were very understanding of each other he was just very demanding last night for some reason. So now why do you think he like this?

[Intraluminal]

He's a jerk?

[redeyemindtricks]

Well... yeah, nah.

"Cheating because dissatisfied with relationship" is a mostly female phenomenon.
As much as lots of women (and, apparently, you) don't -- or won't -- realize this, MEN's cheating is VERY rarely driven by "not getting enough at home", whether sex itself or attention more generally.

I mean, I can pull the studies if you want, but, reliable surveys have **always** found that MOST men who stray rate their marriage as "happy" or "very happy" in every significant aspect, including sexually. While only a very small fraction of cheating women rate their marriages anywhere near as highly.

In fact, if testosterone has anything to say about this, it's very possible that the reverse might even be true -- that a particularly GOOD home sex life could boost those horniness and risk-taking chemicals enough to make the boy MORE likely to pursue affair opportunities.
At the very least it's well known that men who ARE having affairs tend to experience a resurgence of their desire

[redeyemindtricks]

for wifey, too, while they're fucking around. Testosterone + Coolidge effect is a hell of a combination... (And this is definitely an increment in REAL desire, like, of the "dick don't lie" type. Boys generally don't have the option of "cover-up sex", because they generally can't fake arousal worth half a damn... even notwithstanding the erection issue there.)

[Anonymous]

maybe he's just extra horny? Give him some porn and send him to the other room!😂

[12mayanks]

loose him as early as possible.
he needs to be more understanding of your feelings.
you deserve better.

[Proniss]

tbh he kinda sounds like a jerk that may or may not be using you. kinda unlikely after a year and a half.

[dante6676]

you sound really unwell. in this instances he should do what we have all had to do, say bollocks to him self. followed by no problem can i get you anything for the burns etc. put him on notice and leave if this continues

[EvilNomz]

If he can't even control his desires or hormones, ask him to off fuck. Jerks like him will only. Damage girls

[shashank4752]

if not well then say him directly u dont want to do

[Astoriana]

What a fucking asshole.

[Sasisen]

Ikr? Such a douchebag :/

[Anonymous]

It's your duty to satisfy his needs, your duty! How dare you deny him a dip

[vanjhare]

Say no to sex. Keep him sexually satisfied.

[chuy10]

why not give him a bj

[Anonymous]

break up. he deserves better.