My boyfriend wants to change the way I dress?

Question

my boyfriend and i have known each other for 7 years and have recently (8 moths ago) moved a step forward and got togather... the first few months were perfect, no nagging or any type of arguements on any side, after that it became like a storm... he s mad about something and takes it out on me, the way i act and especially the way i dress...
i m not feminine, i never was; i dress nicely when i feel like dressing nicely (or if needed for some event or work) i usually wear my dad s camo pants with a tight black top or a hoodie with jeans... that enrages him. he gets mad at me even though i dress the same way for years...
i did change the way i dress for him but its still not enough, now i need some make up, then i need some heels (great idea to ride a motorcycle with heels)..
if i dont dress the way he wants me to then he ll complain at how bad i look while complimenting all day long other girls and adding a "i dress nicely and i feel good doing so" ... i hate when he does that..
and when we talk about it he ends up mad while i end up crying

i dont know what to do anymore... its making me miserable...

RoseMonaye · Accepted Answer

Honestly maybe you guys don’t need to be together? If he truly loved you, he wouldn’t be asking you to change anything about you. It’s not like you weren’t dressing that way before.. Apart from that, he is complimenting other females about their appearance, while bringing you down, hurting, and making you feel some kind of way? He doesn’t deserve you. It’s who you are, your clothes are apart of you. Your boyfriend is an ass, and I am sure there is something that he does (says, wears, and etc) that is far from perfect. But you love him anyway. But everyone can tell you as much as they want on here, but it all comes down to what you would like to do. Whatever decision you make, just make sure that it is best for you, and remember that you deserve to be happy, and be you without having to make changes to make others happy.

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

Sounds like he’s doesn’t like who you are and wants to change everything thinking that will make him happy. I’d say the relationship needs a break so he can sort out what’s really important. You in his life or you in heels in his life. You should also take time to think if you really want to put up with someone who’s suddenly not happy with the person you are, and have been.

nevermoregirl7 · Accepted Answer

It's one thing for a guy to say "I love it when" and maybe even pick out the shoes and dress. But it's another if he is constantly trying to put you down for dressing how you want. It sounds like he is trying to mold you. And while some girls are ok with that, you are clearly not. I suggest you either tell him to stop or just break up with him.

bang678 · Accepted Answer

Tell him to fuck off. Why is how you dress suddenly a problem. Its your body, you'll dress however you want.

seby1607 · Accepted Answer

Look, you gotta stand up to him. You need to remember that you are not his punching bag whenever he wants. You need to make sure he knows that. Ask him first why he is doing this to you, and explain to him you are hurt by his actions. If he still continues to behave like he does now, I am sorry but I think this is the end of the relationship. Make sure you tell him how much it is hurting you because you haven't done anything wrong. But never ever let a guy control you, it will just make you feel miserable.

MrMysteryMan · Accepted Answer

Ask him if he got with you as a project or did he actually liked the way you looked when you first met?

As well, you should ask him if he's embarrassed by the way you dress now.

No one should make their SO change so much. Suggestions is one thing, but then if they are comfortable the way they are, you should be able to accept this about them. If it's to better someone, than that's fine, but if not, that's trying to inflict your views on someone.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Break up with him then. I think their is nothing wrong with wanting to dress nice for your significant other, however their comes a point where your not doing something to be nice and make them happy so much as to stop them being angry. That's when its an issue. You have to confront him about this and if he pushes break up with him. He clearly isn't going to change.

Nyx_85 · Answer

This guy is a control freak. I've seen enough people go through this to know this is only the tip of the iceberg. It's one thing to say "I'd love to see you in a dress or something some day" to demanding you change your entire wardrobe when he gets angry. He's not suggesting it in a nice way. He's being a jerk about it.

Prakbio · Answer

why now he started this behaviour? ask him clearly if he wants you or not don't be puppet of him. sometimes it's okay but always it will surely suffocating.

Anonymous · Answer

personally, he sounds so possessive and almost like a "control freak" (no offence). if he can't accept how you dress and want to look because that's what you feel good/comfortable wearing and looking like, then he's not the right guy. if a person tries to change the other person in a relationship, why are they in the relationship?

my girlfriend is the same as you. she's not feminine at all with the way she dresses. she'll be fine wearing skinny jeans with a basic t-shirt and some converse or vans because they're simple and feminine clothes don't make her feel like herself. she hates wearing dresses, skirts, blouses, and anything really girly and fancy, unless she absolutely has to then she will. i don't and have never tried to change the way she dresses because it shouldn't matter. that's the same as a girl trying to change a guy with his likes and dislikes because she doesn't like what he likes or dislikes

JimRSmith · Answer

Strange he's just started this, after he'd been OK about it for the last seven years?

Djaaay · Answer

Compatibility is when you both complimate each other. Remember , there's always two sides to a coin. His insecuritys , should invoke you to produce a insecurity of your own and visa - versa. The soul reason you two are together should be none other than because you both love each other regardless of flaws and accept each other as is.

Blake0048 · Answer

I do highly prefer women who dress feminine but I wouldn't force anyone to. My ex friends with benefits had the same issue with her ex boyfriend he made her dress girly or he'd leave her. Im not in the business of changing people. They'll change if and when they want to.

ChrisPpp · Answer

Say to him a trick question"am I beautiful?" If he says no tell him to learn to appreciate you the way you are for who you are and not for who he wants you to be. He ought to like you for just being you nothing more nor less

enlightened · Answer

Dress as and how you like it. When he met you he liked you for who you were. So what’s the problem now? Maybe u can dress up a little sometimes but asking you to completely change urself is too much in my opinion

Stockton · Answer

Control freak, this is his true face. Get comfortable with him controlling all aspects of your life, or get gone. Those are your only options I am sorry to say

winterfox10 · Answer

This is a bad sign for the relationship, his critiques of the way you dress won't get better. The fantasy of making you his has finally worn off. I would leave. If a relationship doesn't work, it doesn't work, and that's that.

TER4BYTE · Answer

Dont let him control you its not fair on you dress how u feel comfortable if he cares hell acceot u the way u are

DevikaButts95 · Answer

Why are you with him? He's making you miserable, and he definitely doesn't deserve you.

Zer0Ghost · Answer

Leave. If he wants a girly girl so bad he can go find one

Anonymous · Answer

Break up with him. Thoes are red flags of an abusive relationship incom. lol tell him to wear a dress and you will.

Jo1991 · Answer

He needs to appreciate the fact that he has a unique lady in his life. Tell him so. If he doesn't want I'd dump his ass

kla097 · Answer

how about some selfvalue and you dump this motherfucker?

pleasure69 · Answer

Dress as u please too, if no one likes it tell turn there head

jon28805 · Answer

This does not seem like a healthy relationship to me.

kev20 · Answer

It's simple... make him understand to be less possessive...

My boyfriend wants to change the way I dress?

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