My boyfriend tells other people that he's single... It's been 3yrs in this relationship.. what do I do?

Question

I'm feeling insecure.. N I've talked to him about it.. he just keeps telling me that I'm thinking too much.. N ends the conversation making me feel like a fool.. Whenever we are having a conversation.. He finds ways to talk about other girls that's he's friends with.. N when il ask if he's told his female friends about his relationship with me... His answer would be like.. "yeah i guess" or "maybe i don't remember".. What do i do at this point?

I never get a straight answer out of him.. In the past I've caught him telling other girls that he's single n that's when I started doubting everything in this relationship.. He tells me that he loves me but his actions speak something else... yesterday we were having a conversation n he told me that one of the girl that he's friends with gave him a very cute nick name.. I said.. cool.. Then he asked me to call him with that nickname too... I mean... 3yrs of this relationship n he wants me to call him with a name some other girl gave him.. I'm totally frustrated at this point.. What do i do?

SizeLarge · Accepted Answer

You are being dumb. Listen, he is a ducking cheater through and through. He is using you to have a. security. blanket while he is out actively pursuing and more with other girls. I did not want to believe my ex was ccheating in me the entire 7 years but it was proven to me. I had to find the airline tickets where she had flown back to NC IN July for a week to believe it. I feel so stupid now for not seeing the truth. When I confronted her. she tried. to make it like I was the one was wrong for investigating her airline rewards program. She denied everything even when she was caught until I threatened to call him and speak to him directly about what has happened since Imet her. I was a total idiot for believing her when I KNEW I was having sex with her for a year IN the beginning while she lied to him about out friendship saying it was platonic. He believed her too even though he knew better. When I first met her we had a lot of sex the first two weeks and then she flew to CA to go tonYoaemite and hike half done with him. She told me that all they did was fight from the first night on. I asked why. She said because he said that she was loose as a goose and had been screwing around on him. He did not want to have sex with her because he was hurt by knowing another man had been stretching her out. He was dumb for staying with her a year while I continued on doing it. She told him and he was PISSED. Then I had six years with her and I k ew ahe was cheating but could not prove it. Now I have proof and I feel retarded. for sharing this dumb old woman with him and at least two other guys suiting those years. I did not deserve this but I failed to accept the truth that was right in front if me.

Soltek84 · Accepted Answer

I feel like every woman no matter how strong she is, no matter how invested she is, or in love she is. That every woman has a breaking point and Sometimes it just takes some more pain in order for you to find an reach that breaking point that you'll say enough is enough. I can't take no more of this. So reconfirming your man that he is cheating on you or just being fake instead. Which clearly you know something is wrong when your asking about it. He's not ready for a relationship. And I know You can find someone better.

meowza · Accepted Answer

You're not thinking too much by wanting your boyfriend to have some integrity in being open and transparent about your relationship with other girls. i don't know you or your boyfriend but he sounds manipulative. When you tell him you feel insecure because he's not telling other girls he is in a relationship with you he is deflecting the issue from him not being open and honest about your relationship by making you feel stupid. That is a manipulative tactic and you should draw the line.

You need to hold your ground and very clearly tell him that if He is in a committed serious relationship with you he has to be transparent about it, in particular with these other girls around him. Also, if you're feeling insecure, his responsibility as a boyfriend is to assure you and make you feel secure (assuming you're not a paranoid person and that you are reasonable).

Not sure how old you are... or your boyfriend. But judging by your post and what you allege his behaviour to be like, you both must be very young. What I gather is that you both love each other, but perhaps he is too immature to fully commit to a serious relationship. At this point I feel he wants to have his cake and eat it.

You should thoroughly consider why you're in this relationship and if he provides you with emotional support and understanding. If not, know your worth, demand that standard and expect nothing less then being treated with respect.

kimmi862 · Accepted Answer

You are too young for his crap. Leave him; look for everything to do on your bucket list. Jack Ma; the founder of alibaba; says that your 20's is for you to make as many mistakes as possible and to enjoy all that life has to give. Your 30's is when you have learnt from your mistakes and you have better judgment. He's not yet mature and you are not his queen at all. Also; sit down and watch the movie "He's just not into you." I watch it whenever I'm confused with how a guy feels about me. Know your worth gurl and live life knowing that you are better than this.

igobywink · Accepted Answer

if he telling people that he's single, be single right along with him. dont let a man walk over you💯 i been through this before even though im young, i used to let him walk over me just because i was so stupid in love with him but i woke up one day and knew i was worth way better than him. so you do the same, just walk away. its going to be hard because 3 years is long but its not worth it😏 its somebody out here who would cherish the ground you walk on & tell the whole world you're their woman😘

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Technically, single means "not married," so he is not being dishonest. However, he should be telling other girls that he is in an exclusive relationship.

You can't change him. Marrying him would NOT make him behave better. You must either accept him as he is or move on.

Frankly, he doesn't really sound like boyfriend material and I don't know why you have remained with him for 3 years.

PrincessPie · Answer

He sounds like a dirt bag. I know when you're attached its not that easy but you need to not let him walk all over you tell him you need respect or you're done.

MrOracle · Answer

You end the relationship. You probably should have done that long ago, frankly.

While I see women who are paranoid and overthink things like this, in your case, it seems pretty obvious that you have a genuine grievance and that your guy really doesn't respect you - he's selfish and trying to "have is cake and eat it too" and that's not right. And in the process, he's undermining your confidence and self-worth, so it's toxic to you.

Put on your big-girl panties and kick him to the curb, and take a little time to be single and focus on yourself. Then, work on finding a guy who actually respects you and treats you like he WANTS to be in a relationship with you and ONLY you. You'll be MUCH happier in the long run.

mermaidrocketship · Answer

This is the worst thing I’ve heard on here. You can do better all by yourself. Relationships are about sharing yourself with another person. He doesn’t want to share himself. The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for three years is being in one for three years and one day. Just because he doesn’t love you doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself. Run far far away from him.

De0nlyRattler · Answer

Ask him straight up why does he do it. Ask him if he is embarassed by this relation. And ask him to give a straight answer and not to dilly dally or beat around the bush. Also check if he looking into your eyes when he talks. If he does not or if he stares for too long, he might be lying. Rest whatever he says be strong.

Anonymous · Answer

Basically he isn't taking your relationship seriously. So you need to be straight with him, either he talks about why or that's it. 3 years is a long enough time to put up with it. And the fact he wants you to call him a name from another girl just shows how little he thinks of you

Netta2147 · Answer

My fiance was doing that before too, he too was telling other girls he was single when really he was in a relationship with me. He said he was single or he was with someone but wouldn't tell them my name. You need to leave him or it will leave to something worse that he will do behind your back. Because I'm in the situation myself, too little too late for me at least :(

Anonymous · Answer

You’re if ignoring huge red flags. If he is telling other girls he is single then he is not committed to you. Deep down you know that. Break up with him before you seriously get hurt. You Will find a great guy who will tell every girl that he is with you and you’re amazing. Please don’t settle for someone like that.

NotGavin1 · Answer

I see three options,
1Leave him just out right after having a conversation about this whole relationship and how what he's doing makes you feel and see what he says
2 go all psycho stalker and find his friends and introduce yourself
3 start to say your single and see what happens from there

Shreyash108 · Answer

You better be strict and ask him directly.. You have been together for 3years then why does he not gives you the right recognition that you deserve infront of the people... ask him to be true to people and you need recognition

Jedwards · Answer

Ok this guy isn't worth your time, you need to dump his ass. He's not taking the relationship seriously and he wants to be with other girls. Sounds like he might be cheating too. Dump him for good

mandyy77 · Answer

I just broke up with this type of relationship and its been for 5 years wasted.. please leave him asap🙏.. You are ruining your time and emotions.. And I bet if whenever he'll find better thn you thn he will leave you.. So with my experience ita better to leave him..

Cyperia99 · Answer

Girl I'm sorry for u. ur just his sex object galavanting besides him. if he says he loves u. then his intentions are just friendly probably he use to love u as his girlfriend but instantly he began seeing u as a friend he loves so much. His. Dats y he can't leave u. but he loves u but guest the love is not just 30% of girlfriend.

Sara413 · Answer

Why are you dating this guy? Honestly. He seems to have absolutely no concern about making you feel insecure. That is super fucked up. It's not a healthy relationship. If he loved you, he would be proud to talk about you to others. He wouldn't be so shady about avoiding your questions and he wouldn't shut down conversations about how you feel. He's a prick. Move on and find someone who is worth you affection.

solarb · Answer

This guy sounds like a grade A douche. If he hasn't been taking you seriously for this long I'd just tell him where to shove it.

mattai787 · Answer

I so wished I had a girl who would love me so fiercely just the way that you do. Unfortunately never dated a girl and I'm 26 years old.

craigurai · Answer

You are only 19 which means you've been dating since you were 16. This is a young age for a serious relationship. Most men won't really be ready to settle until mid to late 20s. But sounds like you are so time for ultimatum. Might not hurt for you to date others too.. most likely others will be more compatible but he was probably first.

thedancingcookie20 · Answer

Break up with him. Three years and he's still like that, he won't change. The relationship has been over for a long time. Find someone who will take you seriously and respect you

FemWorship · Answer

Easy to answer this Tell him his wishes have come true and take a break, block him for a few months while having fun with guys that make you feel SECURE

heart_beat · Answer

- Simple - Leave him. You are being way too kind to him and giving too much importamce to thqt guy.

HarleyLuv · Answer

Don't let him waste anymore of your time. He wants to be single let him, but don't let him take a chance for happiness from you.

Watson1864 · Answer

If it was ME I’d break up with him!! Obviously he’s being unfaithful. You deserve better. Let him miss what he’s lost. But don’t let him play mind games with you. Always be two steps ahead.

pepwave21 · Answer

Sounds like you need to move on to a better guy. There is no way a girl would want this guy as a serious boyfriend. Maybe as a friend.

ciitruskiwi · Answer

I'm sorry but it doesn't seem like he's taking this relationship very seriously. Dump him.

LoseMyself · Answer

Ditch him. Liars aren't worth it, and how do you know when he is telling the truth? You will always have that element of doubt and your relationship will eventually be ruined because you can't trust him.

iambob · Answer

Basically he do whatever he wants with whoever he wants until they make it official and ask if you exist! Sounds like a playa keeping his options to me.

Parisgirl30 · Answer

Next!! You deserve so much better girl! Leave him and don’t look back

HonestGirlAlways · Answer

He doesn’t respect you or values you as much as you value him. Dump him

KyoShirogane · Answer

Well if he says he is single then leave him and make him truly single

mehul246 · Answer

Well there are different types of people put there.. May be he's too chilled and nothing is wrong with him. And he's sharing talks of his friends with you and if he's finding time to spend then everything is alright.

Camiii · Answer

u deserve someone who is proud to say that he is in a relationship with u ;)

Twills87 · Answer

Leave his arse! 3 years and claims to be single? 🤔

MrManga · Answer

If he walks around and saying that he is single then he will probably not hesitate to cheat on you if he get the chance, so throw him out the door with his head first.

OlderGuy965 · Answer

Dump him immediately or just be his friends with benefits

imanewest11 · Answer

If a guy does that then it means he’s not straight and probably cheats on you. Just break up with him and you’ll realise he won’t even care

RachelleDraws · Answer

Have a good, long talk about it. Let him know how you feel and get his side of the story too.

LinkxPeach · Answer

It's sounds like your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you.

Insanyx12 · Answer

Dump him if he's "single" he can get another girl like that without thought

cinderelli · Answer

make him single.. (by breaking up with the douchebag)

Unit1 · Answer

Well, you're single too now. Get a new boyfriend i would say.

Anonymous · Answer

You should leave him he already finished it on his mind

carljaym07 · Answer

If he's not committed, there will be no progress.

Jazmanja · Answer

Dump him, quick, fast and in a hurry. He's really saying he's just not that into you.

yesitsme30 · Answer

If he's said he's single that says it all. If he was serious about you'd be claim you no matter what.

Chris0012 · Answer

Dump him. He is treating you with contempt and does not take you seriously.

Juuuuliette · Answer

Honey, dump him. You don't deserve to be treated like this, and he doesn't deserve you. BOY BYE

Robsinsf53 · Answer

What do people do with shit? Flush him...

bree04 · Answer

Leave his punk a**. That’s an abusive relationship from what I’ve read. He wants you to believe him. He’s manipulating you. Take care of yourself.

Taz_man_red · Answer

It sounds like he's having a relationship with someone else I would tell him It's either me or them make him make The Choice

lola0310 · Answer

DUMP HIM! He's not worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Dump him... so he can enjoy being single. You don't need to put up with that disrespect.

SirRexington · Answer

Let him go, thats not professional.

krucialkaay · Answer

girl you suppose to been broke up with em as soon as he said it knowing he wasn't

hornymike6969 · Answer

dump his ass

jobination · Answer

He is not in a serious relationship with you.

allenjamieson · Answer

I'd make his statement accurate by dumping him

KevonO · Answer

Let him be single and say goodbye

lord_chilled · Answer

Looks like he's banging

Ariel1990 · Answer

what a dick..

SarahsSummer · Answer

From now on, you be single too.

My boyfriend tells other people that he's single... It's been 3yrs in this relationship.. what do I do?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

My boyfriend tells girls he's single?

My boyfriend tells other people that he's single... It's been 3yrs in this relationship.. what do I do?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

My boyfriend tells girls he's single?

We're glad to see you liked this post.