Relationship of 3 years going down the drain..

[girliegoincrazy]

For the past 2 or 3 months its been no secrete to nor my boyfriend or I, that I've been hurting pretty badly over feeling like he's just done with the relationship, and he's only stuck around because he doesn't want to be the one to end everything. I feel this way because when I try and tell him these certain ways he's been hurting me, without fail, every time he'll tell me I do it all to myself and he's done nothing wrong, and let me be a complete mess about everything. I feel like if he truly cared about me and loved me as much as he tries to say, he'd just see that I'm truly hurting and whether he honestly doesn't feel one bit responsible or not, he'd do anything in his power to help me, aid me, any way possible to make sure I didn't feel these awful ways anymore. like it'd hurt him just to see how hurt I am. instead he emotionally neglects me, and it hurts, really really bad.

I want nothing more then for us to be happy TOGETHER again. all of my effort has gone into fighting FOR us. so last night I again, spilled my heart out to him. told him he could no longer tell me I do all of this to myself, when his actions and words to me on a regular basis have proved otherwise. I felt like I finally had a breakthough. for the past serveral weeks what he was denying to me he was finally able to tell me he didn't know what he wanted anymore. this was my peace. which ever decision he made I knew that this horrible situation would be over with. we broke though it, if he told me this is what he wanted I thought he'd have the decency to realize I couldn't be hurt like that anymore, I needed to be almost saved at this point, or if he finally told me what I've been feeling like, that he didn't feel hope for us anymore, id be able to let go and move on with my life, learn to be happy again once and for all, just without him. after all I know nobody can help how they feel, and I knew I wouldn't be able to change anything, if those were the circumstances. so he had his chance to finally be truthful, for both of us. he ended up telling I was what he wanted, and that we'd get though all of this. even during the moments we were making up I could still feel the distance from him. I told him I wasn't going to hate him, I wasn't going to blame him, I told him everything that needed to be said, and it was a free chance for him. he went oppposite of what I was prepared for and expected. I felt like we finally had a real chance. but the next day (this morning) I could still feel bad vibes from him. he wasn't being mean, or hurtful, but short, and depressed almost. I could still feel it. texting him during the day I felt it, when he picked me up from work I could feel it, and while we were out celebrating new years I could feel it. so naturally, it got brought up and again he wanted to completely denying any sort of participation in anything, and again neglected me. only wanted to drop it and move on to not ruin his new years. am I feeling wrong here? advicee !

[SeansGirl]

wow, I'm really sorry. I would hate if this happened to me and my boyfriend. THREE WHOLE YEARS is hard to let go of so I can see why it's so hard to just end it even though he doesn't seem so interested. this is a sad situation, but I feel like if you end it with him you will be better off. I mean I know you guys have been together for a very long time, but you will feel less pressure and stress if you two werent together anymore. if you end it you no longer have to worry about him. it will be very hard and painful in the beginning, but you will move on. think about it this way. do you really want to be stuck with someone who treats you like this for the rest of your life? he even said he doesn't feel the same way about the relationship anymore...you know? I want to know how this goes.. good luck.

♥

[girliegoincrazy]

its still currently going on. I told him I think we need to seperate for a few days and see how it goes. if we can't sit down and talk about it and fix it like I want to do, if he can't do that, I don't feel like he needs to be in a relationship with me. its not at all what I want, but what I want even more is to just be happy, and this is starting to feel like the only way I will be. he's trying to tell me one thing and he's showing me opposite of it.

[SeansGirl]

ya he doesn't deserve you, especially if he's going to be like that. it's sad drifting apart and everything but you'll be better off and happier. this happened to my friend. she was with him for four years and basically the same thing happened and they finally broke up three months ago and she's so happy now. she still loves him, but she just has to remind herself of how the relationship was ending up.

[Joey_Wheeler]

It sounds like your hitting "the wall". It's a point in all relationships where you need to take the plunge and take your relationship to the next level. Whatever you view that level to be, marriage, kids, new car, or just taking a long vacation together. The most important part in figuring out the next level is seeing where you both want to be when you get there.

I strongly advise AGAINST the trial seperation phase. It has proven time and time again to be very bad.

[Anonymous]

Can you please give some examples of how he hurts you, because you wrote such a long post without giving a single example. So, to me it does sound like you're just being hurt for no real reason. If you tell him exactly what you say here I can't blame him for telling him he has nothing to do with you feeling hurt and what not.