Relationship of 3 years going down the drain..

For the past 2 or 3 months its been no secrete to nor my boyfriend or I, that I've been hurting pretty badly over feeling like he's just done with the relationship, and he's only stuck around because he doesn't want to be the one to end everything. I feel this way because when I try and tell him these certain ways he's been hurting me, without fail, every time he'll tell me I do it all to myself and he's done nothing wrong, and let me be a complete mess about everything. I feel like if he truly cared about me and loved me as much as he tries to say, he'd just see that I'm truly hurting and whether he honestly doesn't feel one bit responsible or not, he'd do anything in his power to help me, aid me, any way possible to make sure I didn't feel these awful ways anymore. like it'd hurt him just to see how hurt I am. instead he emotionally neglects me, and it hurts, really really bad.

I want nothing more then for us to be happy TOGETHER again. all of my effort has gone into fighting FOR us. so last night I again, spilled my heart out to him. told him he could no longer tell me I do all of this to myself, when his actions and words to me on a regular basis have proved otherwise. I felt like I finally had a breakthough. for the past serveral weeks what he was denying to me he was finally able to tell me he didn't know what he wanted anymore. this was my peace. which ever decision he made I knew that this horrible situation would be over with. we broke though it, if he told me this is what he wanted I thought he'd have the decency to realize I couldn't be hurt like that anymore, I needed to be almost saved at this point, or if he finally told me what I've been feeling like, that he didn't feel hope for us anymore, id be able to let go and move on with my life, learn to be happy again once and for all, just without him. after all I know nobody can help how they feel, and I knew I wouldn't be able to change anything, if those were the circumstances. so he had his chance to finally be truthful, for both of us. he ended up telling I was what he wanted, and that we'd get though all of this. even during the moments we were making up I could still feel the distance from him. I told him I wasn't going to hate him, I wasn't going to blame him, I told him everything that needed to be said, and it was a free chance for him. he went oppposite of what I was prepared for and expected. I felt like we finally had a real chance. but the next day (this morning) I could still feel bad vibes from him. he wasn't being mean, or hurtful, but short, and depressed almost. I could still feel it. texting him during the day I felt it, when he picked me up from work I could feel it, and while we were out celebrating new years I could feel it. so naturally, it got brought up and again he wanted to completely denying any sort of participation in anything, and again neglected me. only wanted to drop it and move on to not ruin his new years. am I feeling wrong here? advicee !
Relationship of 3 years going down the drain..
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