I fell for my friends with benefits but he has a girlfriend, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I think I fell for him, hard. We've been friends for 4 years and been friends with benefits for 5 months. Within 3 months of seeing each other I found out he had a girlfriend. I talked to him about it and he said that he's unhappy and always feels tired around her and has thought of breaking up with her for a while. I got to know her over the last 2 months (whenever we happen to 'bump' into each other) and I can honestly understand how he feels. And I learned a little about her and I think the main reason while he hasn't broken up with her is out of fear. She seems like she'll have some kind of 'breakdown' if he were to break it off with her.

Should I talk to him again and ask if he wants a relationship with me

should I stay with him until he breaks up with her

stop seeing him until he breaks up with her

or just stop seeing him completely but still friends (even if he does break up with her)

Updates

+1 y

I'll like to add (whether this changes your mind or not) that our friends (they don't know about us) knew his girlfriend before I did (they been together for 6 YEARS) and had talked to him about breaking up with her FOR YEARS cause she's not good for him mentally and emotionally. Which lead me to doing this poll of 'Should I'

Updates

+1 y

I'll add this too cause I talked about it and best you understand a little more so I don't have to repeat. So, I heard from our friends that (we guess) he tried to break up with her at his house around last year and he ended up calling the ambulance - but he wouldn't say why so we took a guess and this sounded the most likely reason. He was depressed around that time and told us it was because of her (I wasn't there the day they encouraged him to break it off with her)

[BigToeJohn420]

Apparently you're going to do whatever you want to anyways I'm not sure why you're asking anyone else's opinion.
So she's going to have a breakdown when he breaks up with her. What do you think she'll do if she finds out you've been talking straight to her face while yanking on his tool.
You know if you meet a guy and you start having some kind of relationship with him and you find out that he's married or has a relationship or whatever and you never meet the person that you know and whatever happens it still sucks but to actually meet the person or know the person face-to-face and act like you're their friend and keep screwing a guy that's pretty evil degenerate. I don't know if you believe anything that he's telling you about anything or you are going to keep going out with this guy. You can't be that stupid that you think that she's the only one he's lying to.
All's I know is karma is a bitch and I hope you get it right in your rear end someday real good.

[olderirishguy]

He needs to "man up" and do the right thing. Firstly she will get over it if its a clean break n no contact after etc... secondly, he's cheating on her n if she found out would make things ten times worse and thirdly, i have a sneaky feeling in me that ur being played by him. I hope im wrong.

[Littlewife]

I would move on if I were you. He's been cheating on his girlfriend with you and has been using you for no strings casual sex. He obviously doesn't respect you or think you are good enough to be with long term.
Even if he dumped his girlfriend for you he could never be trusted as demonstrated by his lack of any loyalty to his girlfriend. I mean a cheater will always cheat, not to mention how it will tarnish your reputation sleeping with another woman's boyfriend.
If I were you id cut all ties to him as the longer this goes on the more hurt you will be in the long run. I suggest in future when dating you take sex off the table until your sure the guy is a decent honorable man worth your time.

[Mortdikeuu]

People who use others for sex are normally psychopaths
Just bin him, find your self respect and move on. He will get rid of you eventually anyways. Might even get you a stalking conviction if you are lucky.
That's what mine did

[FakeName123]

You should slap yourself for being so incredibly st...

1. You start helping someone to cheat on his partner
2. You want to commit to him despite KNOWING he is a cheater
3. You went into a friends with benefits situation without realising the consequences.

Now just be mature once in this and cut your losses.

[Marethyu]

Couldn't have said it better.

[Littlewife]

@Marethyu I agree

[Anonymous]

If I were you, no matter his situation, there's NO excuse for keeping that from you and I'd be really angry over him not being truthful to you from the start!! So, right away this "relationship" is not good because he's already kept important things from you and deceived you.

[boggboss]

He won't break up with her for you and even if he was not with her most guys don't want to change a friends with benefits into a relationship otherwise they would just go for the relationship you women gotta u understand that before doing it

[boggboss]

So how friends have told him for 6 years to break up and he still has not

[Asker]

Yeah, I heard from our friends that (I guess) he tried to break up with her at his house around last year and he ended up calling the ambulance - but he wouldn't say why so we took a guess and this sounded the most likely reason

[Asker]

He was depressed around that time and told us it was because of her - I wasn't there that day when they encouraged him to break it off with her

[boggboss]

He can say he was depressed all he wants he is still with her and currently cheating on her

[Asker]

True, I told him that since he's still unhappy with her to break it off. And not do what I did and stay in a relationship that made me unhappy and miserable because he seems to be where I was at - my ex was happy with me but I wasn't with him.

[boggboss]

Untill he makes that step you and him would never work

[Asker]

I guess... doesn't help that he actually treats me like a girlfriend when we're alone and out spending time together smh

[boggboss]

Because he is getting the best off both worlds

[Taka99]

i wouldn't say stop seeing him completely even if he does break up lol

but wait till he's stopped seeing the person

[Anonymous]

He is a cheater you cheated on his girlfriend with you.
You always deserve better than a cheater

[B-radley]

She also knew he was cheating and stayed 🤷‍♂️ just as bad.

[yasii]

You're both trash so you deserve each other

[LuWe22]

Stop seeing him until he breaks up

[Anonymous]

lmao!