To clarify, I mean they are still with their spouse, not separated. I'm married, but guys still hit on me when I'm out without my husband. Most of them are respectful when I tell them I'm married and back off, but quite a few still keep trying to get me to sleep with them. They're like "Come on, you know you want to," "it's just one night," and "he'll never find out." Maybe I'm being naive, but I used to think only scumbags seduced married women, but a few of these guys who tried to seduce me after I told them I was married seemed like really nice guys, and when I was talking to them (this is at parties, events, ect) I was just being friendly and not trying to flirt. I'm always taken by surprise when they suddenly try to kiss me and get me in bed. What do you think, is it okay to actively try to get someone who is married to have sex with you, even if it's just a one-night stand? Why or why not?
Yes
No
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Is it ever okay to seduce someone who is married? Would you ever do it?
It is never ok to try to seduce or even flirt with a girl or guy, knowing that she/he is married. Always assume they are happy being married.
Those guys/girls have only their own interests in mind and never the one of the person they are trying to put on their victim's list, body count or trophy.
They also have a hard time understanding that there are faithful, loyal and people that are not interested. They seem not to understand the meaning of the word "NO"
The fact that girls (or guys) say not is an insult to their masculinity or femininity and when they say "You don't know what you are missing", the only reply to give is
"I know what I am not missing"
It is also a personal insult to assume that because someone is pretty she/he has to sleep with everyone that glances at you.
Some of the guys called me a tease when I rejected them, they were like "You're all dressed up and looking pretty, you obviously did it because you want to have sex with other guys." Seriously!
Many, and I mean really many guys cannot or don't want to understand that women dress up fancy and nice primarily for themselves and not for others.
If you have a liking for beauty and elegance, then you dress nicely but not to impress others and certainly not to make them believe that you are "in the market for a good time" but mostly to please yourself. It's a pity that others must always attach a label with a negative "hoe" on you for doing that.
Hell no it’s not ok! That’s cheating isn’t it? So it’s never ok especially being married you could possibly destroy someone’s home for a one night stand
First As a guy and former military member no one likes a jody refers to both parties in this instance. Second if the guy doesn't respect your marriage he will not respect you. The nice guy motif is usually an act. Third put your self in your husband's shoes if he was there how far would you go. Finally to keep from temptations like this find a guy friend that respects you and your marriage. Hang out with him at these parties or events. If you need introduce him as your husband. Even better bring your husband along. Other option is chat with your husband see how he feels about it.
Marriage is a choice between two people. The rest of the population have no obligation to either acknowledge or respect that choice.
You have to accept that looking like you do, married or not, guys will hit on you. Imposing your life choices on others (your marriage) isn't cool. If you don't like the attention (I suspect you do or my next advice is null) then you need to find more appropriate places to go or more appropriate girlfriends to go out with.
Seems you're giving all the signs without being able or willing to follow through.
That would depend on whether you allow something naughty to progress, you haven't actually said one way or the other. I suspect you're not always a tease ;)
Honestly? How can you know how you feel without moments like these? I'm not saying, green light, let's go crazy. But, in life, we have to accept there will be these testing moments. They're useful. If you're attracted to a guy, and you get wet and breathless, and he's making moves, but you don't act, and you go home to your husband, do you fuck his brains out? Who lost out there, where's the problem?
If you go out and a guy does nothing for you and you turn away, do you feel hot, desired, maybe a little naughty, but still faithful? I imagine you go home and cuddle and love your husband that night too.
Honestly, you're beautiful, and you'll always be desired. Is it wrong for guys to try to fuck you? I don't think so, to say it's wrong is to pretend something untrue onto guys. You mentioned being kissed by guys on nights out. Does that happen often? What do you do, or describe the last time that happened?
If a man or a woman truly cares his/her partner, this will never happen. The men who tried seducing you have no respect in women. Maybe they encounter some unfaithful women before and based on their experience, they generalize that all women are the same.
Yes. What the married person does is their own personal responsibility. The third party has absolutely no moral or ethical obligations to either them or their spouse.
If someone is a cheating POS it is on them, not on the "seducer". That's all there is to it.
Clearly if they're trying to seduce you while you're married they aren't nice guys at all, they're assholes pretending to be nice guys so that they can get into your pants. So yes, you're definitely being naive, stupid even. Asking if why/why not it's okay to seduce a married person "just for a one night stand?" - it should be obvious that it's wrong because that would be cheating.
How do these guys have access to your bed? Scumbags take many forms, wolves in sheep clothing. Would i. Not at the mo, i'm committed to my girlfriend. Ciuld it ever happen, maybe. Maybe not the way you describe but if i fancied someone and was in a certain place mentally i might chance my arm. Its really then thats in the wrong if they give into advances
I have bad experience. I did this without knowing about his marriage. This guy was really tricky later I found out about her I broke up several times but he knew how to manipulate me into taking him back. I always took care that she wouldn’t find out. I didn’t want to hurt her but seriously I’d never deal with a married guy again. This was my only time.
Definitely not okay. Really, if you have enough respect for your partner, you would just ignore others. Trust and respect between you and your partner isn't worth screwing up over a one night stand.
Like why try to fuck up a relationship? Never acceptable. If any girls try that shit with me I'd just laugh. Do they really think they have a chance against the person I thought was the best of the best so I chose to marry? Wheres the logic in that
No, absolutely not. Knowingly hooking up with someone in a relationship demonstrates a clear lack of morals, empathy, and compassion, and there's NEVER an acceptable excuse
I suspect people assume you wouldn't be out socializing alone unless you were trying to cheat, and thus the main challenge for them is to convince you to let them be the lucky one.
No. I don’t think people should be seducing married people at all.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
It sounds like you're falling for some of those guys? I actually had some women who were married make advances on me. I honestly didn't feel guilty taking them up on their offer since I wasn't the one making the advances, but I couldn't with a Clear Conscience do what those guys did.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
The "seducer" is never at fault in my opinion, but in any case you should back off if she/he says no. I think it's stupid to try to seduce someone who's married though anyway, if they go with you they're cheating, who wants to go out with a cheater? It's better for everyone to find someone who's single
Because in my country women are free to do what they want, which includes going out with their female friends and having fun. Partying does not automatically include getting laid.
AKA clubbing. Out fucking around and using the "going with my female friends" excuse. If other guys are there and hitting on you, then it is an atmosphere your husband should be at too. Let me guess, you are dressed just as sexy and hot as the single women? Who are you looking hot for? Clubs and parties is where people go to hook up. Don't be naive. You are in a situation where people believe this and that is what they want and think you do too regardless of your marital status since you are there without him. When you tell them you are married, honestly, some guys just don't care because all they want is to hook up. To answer your question, if you allow yourself to get seduced it's because you wanted it and allowed it to happen. It's wrong from both parties, but you would be more in the wrong since you are trashing your own marriage.
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