Is it disrespectful to your partner if you hangout with your friends of the opposite gender?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Stupid fucking gag photo my guy friends and i doesn’t even fucking act like that when we hangout lmao

[Moochii]

Depends.. when my boyfriend goes to hang out with his friends.. I just say “okay, have fun :)” I tell him that he’s allowed to have female friends as it would be hypocritical of me because I have a lot of guy friends.. it’s all about trust and communication honestly... However, with that said... Him and I both agreed that if we do hang out with people of the opposite sex it can’t be someone we’ve had feelings for, had feelings for us, any exes... those kinds of things.. Unless I was around... I don’t want him hanging around them.. I trust him enough to make good decisions... I just don’t want people attempting to make a move cause that’s territory I’m only allowed to cross with my man 🤣 We both work together in different departments... and there’s another lady at work that I believe might have some feelings for my boyfriend... which is normal... but I wouldn’t want him spending too much with her alone.. because she’s a bit unpredictable (think she has anger issues) and it’s something I don’t feel comfortable with...

I think it would be disrespectful to not let your partner know that you’re hanging out with people of the opposite sex.. Have some respect and communicate that shit.

If you have a problem with your S. O hanging out with people of the opposite sex, you need to check yourself..

[btbc92]

ONLY if your partner makes it clear that they don't want that in your relationship. Otherwise, its not. Either way, you need to respect your relationship or don't get in it. I rather not be in a relationship where I cannot respect my person not just myself. I don't understand how people can shame the one who's insecure only for that same person to NEVER trust another person for an intimate relationship again, and then the person either ends up cheating on the other person or gets cheated on by the same person they say is 'just a friend'. If that person cannot respect my wishes, there is no relationship. Insecure or not. I rather dump it so they can go be with them. All the more reason I don't agree with dating complete strangers. Date a friend within your circle who knows everybody, whom your parents and community KNOWS. Somebody who they are familiar with, is compatible with you and desires such a future with you. A stranger will always intentionally or unintentionally destroy what you already have. As long as you don't neglect your friendships either, everybody needs attention in their relationships as long as its not unhealthy.

[LaVillaStrangiato]

No, No, No... fucking no!
If there's no romantic or sexual intent or feelings, then it's just human beings hanging out. That's what friends do.
This bullshit ruined my 18 year marriage because my wife said I was having emotional affairs or some stupid shit. I wasn't "allowed."
It's called being friends with someone other than your spouse and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it, whether they have a penis or a vagina doesn't matter - unless you're planning on fondling it. And if you are, then it's NOT OK.

[LesterJester]

Um no.

Over the years I have had more friends who were female than male. Am I supposed to cut off all ties with them and have no contact with other females for the rest of my life when I get in a relationship?

If so, why?

Because the girl I'm with has insecurity issues and jealousy complexes?

[LesterJester]

A girlfriend with insecurity and jealousy issues is grounds for dismissal.

[Angie221994]

I agree. I have more male friends than female friends. But where I draw the line is if you had a thing with one of those friends. Like if it’s a past friends with benefits, or an ex. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that, but that might be because I’ve been cheated on. 😬

[LesterJester]

@Angie221994 Meh, I've been cheated on by two past girlfriends, so I know what that situation is like.

But at the same time, I don't hold those over the head of my current partner as if it's her fault or that all women are like this. Relationships require trust and that trust requires the risk of being broken, otherwise, is it really a relationship and do you really care about your partner enough to give them that level of trust?

I give my partners that chance and I don't spend my days worried about them breaking it, because if they do break that trust, the consequences are swift and there are no second chances.

They're gone. No excuses, no arguments, no justifications and no drama, it's over and I won't waste anymore of my time on this planet screwing around with them in my life.

In the example you provided, if my partner was still close friends with another guy they had sex with in the past, or were friends with benefits, etc... And I suspected in the slightest that they might still be doing things, then I obviously wouldn't hold much trust in her. If I don't trust her, then we wouldn't be together in the first place.

My wife is still friends with her ex boyfriend, but we perhaps see him around once every year or two. The circumstances between them being friends is fine with me, because I know why they broke up, I know she has moved on and they are no longer the same people as when they used to date. He basically never grew up and he's gone off to do his own thing with his life... She wanted more out of life than what they were doing and so they both mutually moved on. I don't see anything between them or see any signals that they have any interest with one another anymore, so I'm cool.

Though if I suspected anything, or if I hear anything later on down the road that contradicts my views, things will change quick. We both know exactly how we would react if either of us cheated and with a child, the consequences are not worth the risks for a fling.

[CherryRoseChampange]

I don't think so, I think it depends on the rules and boundaries established in that particular relationship. Also, the individuals the partner is trying to hang out with in general. Plus, the intent of things.

[Anonymous]

No, not as long as nothing inappropriate happens. I think that trust is the foundation of a relationship and that if you can't trust your SO around the opposite sex, you're better off not being with them in the first place.

My best friend is a male and we've been friends since childhood; nearly 20 years. I would never stop being friends with him for a boyfriend. I would also never do anything unfaithful or inappropriate with him either, but we are on the same page and agree to be platonic friends only.

[daydreammarie]

I think it is so stupid when a person in a relationship doesn't let the other person hang out with the opposite gender. If its obvious that y'all friends and nothing more and have been for a long time the person you got in a relationship with has no right to tell you you can't hang out with them anymore. Or anyone of the opposite gender. People need to stop being insecure. That's completely immature and if you can't trust the person to be alone with the opposite gender then the relationship obviously isn't the right one. And take in account if the person re ally wanted to cheat then they would whether they hang out with girls or not.

Of course if the two friends had something in the past or slept together or were just a bit to close for comfort then I wouldn't be down but its kind of like how parents don't let the opposite gender sleep over or hang out much.

I find that extremely annoying when people do that. That's like some middle school stuff.

[MittenstheGlove]

To be honest, yes. For the sheer fact of how these dynamics work.

Typically there is someone waiting in the wings and that can get dangerous.

These things get complicated easily. Only find it’s acceptable is in a group setting with everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

No of course now. I only have guy friends, why I don't know it's just turned out like that because i'm socially awkward and guys seem to be more chill about it than women do. I wouldn't dump all of my friends for a partner instead I would dump the partner. I've known my friends much longer anyway therefore they're more important to me and have proven by now that they can be trusted. I am also platonic with my friends as I don't sleep with someone i'm not in a relationship with anyways. I would want my partner to get along with my friends if it were serious. And a partner who tries to control who you talk to is insecure and controlling and abusive.

[Anonymous]

It's okay if you respect your partners boundaries and establish boundaries with your friend.

If your partner isn't okay with it, then you'd need to decide who takes priority in your life... Your friend or boyfriend.

I'd never jeopardize my relationship with my husband for the sake of a friendship. He's the one I'm making a life with, but my friends are only a small part of my life

[WalsallGuy90]

Of course it isn't. What would be disrespectful would be outright flirting or cheating with those friends of the opposite gender. But just hanging out, as normal friends do? Not disrespectful at all. Why should a relationship get in the way of pre-existing friendships as long as there's trust and compassion in the relationship?

[ThatUnknownGirl]

I agree also as long as you don’t hide the fact you are seeing them then it shouldn’t be an issue

[markscott]

It's not disrespectful to have friends of the opposite sex. However, when in a relationship, there are more limits than when you are outside a relationship. The amount of time with them will normally be less, where you go will be different, and the how late you are with them will be earlier. In general.

[leahzrc]

I wish I couldn't sound like a hypocrit, considering I don't have friends that are girls. Not lesbian either. I don't think that it is a problem but for me, I have emotional issues. I would be extremely jealous and die inside if I knew my boyfriend was talking with his girl friends more than once or twice a week in person. Sucks to be the way that I am because it hurts hard for some reason. I'd rather stay single because of it.

[arodriguez664]

Depends on lots of things.
1. Has your partner cheated in the past? 2. How long have they been friends? 3. Will there be other people? 4. Has he ever liked her? or vice versa? 5. Do you think he is mature enough to hang out with a female friend and not mess around? 6. How important is this friend to him? and most importantly 7. Do you trust him?
Personally I don't care if my partner hangs out with female friends as long as they are not alone.

[Moonchild714]

Not at all. Half my friends are guys. What would be disrespectful is hiding that I have guy froends and hang out with them solo or just me and the guys often. My SO are aware those that have a problem with it I know truthfully they have a problem with trusting me. That issue crerps up even when I'm out with the girls.

It's a bit crazy in Sobriety I've ended up dating more insecure controlling men than I did during all my years of drinking.

[MintyRaspberry]

It's not disrespectful at all, as long as no boundaries are crossed (such as flirting or cheating). If you do have the urge to become romantically involved with a friend, you shouldn't be with your partner because that's not fair. Trust, honesty, and communication are very important in any relationship. If your partner's uneasy about you spending time with friends of the opposite gender, talk to him about it and invite him along. Make him feel comfortable, appreciated, and included. If he still can't handle you having friends that have been in your life long before he arrived, perhaps it's not the healthiest relationship.

[PrincessBunBuns]

It's only disrespectful if you guys do something intimate. Like, fuck. LMAOOO but nah. Maybe you can feel a little jealous, it's natural, but it's not disrespectful. Unless like, she likes him and you both know and it's 1on1. Totally cool though, don't be THAT type of girl.

[jgokgotit]

I would have to know the history between them. If they have been friends for a while and he does not have feelings for my woman then it is ok. However, even in that case I would not be comfortable with her staying out all night with him. If it is a group setting then I do not see any problems. I think the real issues arise in one on one hangouts.

[Miss_COLORADO]

Yes it is! If you’re gonna hangout with a friend of the opposite gender bring your girlfriend no matter who it is. There should be no reason to hangout with a girl of the opposite gender alone if you’re in a relationship, I’m sure you wouldn’t like if she did that to you either.

[alohaahyes]

I dont have a partner but if i did i would hope that he would trust me enough to hangout with males without thinking I'd cheat. And hopefully i can do the same.

[ANK360]

Now I don't know whether you can handle this or not but i guess if you're in relationship you should stick to your guy. Cause I have seen many girls who has boyfriend and then they have some guy friends and then it doesn't end well. Some girls later on cheat or when they are drunk some people take benefit of that too. these guy friends even dabble into relationships too so it's like having relationship with 5-6 people at once.

[TonyBologna25]

After a certain age, sort of. Depends on the context, but if you're married and going out with other guys to events and other things alone, then you can be single. I'm not progressive enough to just allow another man take my woman out like that. Maybe I'm oldschool. Maybe it stems from insecurity. Maybe it stems from being over-protective of almost everyone in my life. Who knows... but it's me. I wouldn't settle for a dynamic like that.

[WarmSunflower]

I personally don’t believe men and women can be just friends. I would not be happy with my boyfriend hanging out with female friends. With that being said, I wouldn’t date a man who has female friends in the first place. That would be a deal-breaker for me.

[CubsterShura]

It can get disrespectful. The key is to not do it more than your partner is comfortable with. It doesn't mean that you can't hang out with friends of the opposite gender at all, but you should certainly limit it.

[Janncis]

My best friend is girl, should i limit my friendship with her? I know boundries deam to well, so if girl doesn't trust me or want limit my time with friends. Well she's not for me.
by the way. Since i ask for a lot of freedom and trust, i tend to give a lot of freedom and trust.

[CubsterShura]

@Janncis I didn't say that it is disrespectful. I said that it can get disrespectful if you do things despite knowing that your partner is not going to be happy or comfortable with it. If you want to hang out with your female best friend more but your partner feels bothered then talk to her and come to an agreement that both of you can be happy with.

[Janncis]

So asking someone to speak less with best friend just because ur insecure aren't direspectfull?
Its much harder to find friend whom you can trust fully and know they are willing to go hell and back just because of you, when they keep you company because your heartbrocken, well its hard, much more harder than fiding new girlfriend.
by the way. Im single and not because i talked with best friend xD

[CubsterShura]

@Janncis if you're get into a relationship, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be someone that's going to be okay with you having a female best friend. Remember, they wouldn't wanna be with you in the first place if they had a problem with it. However that doesn't mean that she can't expect you to prioritize her more than your best friend. You should always prioritize your partner over your friends and even best friends. It sounds harsh but it's the truth. It's up to you to find a balance that is good for both of you.

[Janncis]

Prioritising someone who you see daly to somone you see maybe once a month? Common dont be selfish. While ye there are situations where girlfriend would get all attention. Friends tend to be important to. If relationships end my friends will be the ones who support me not ex girlfriend. Thats why friends tend to be equality important as so.

[CubsterShura]

@Janncis I never said that friends aren't important. In fact it is important to spend time with other people that lift you up apart from your partner to maintain healthy relationships. But partner is still priority. It's true that your friends will stick to you if you break up, but on the flip side when you will lose you friends because they can't take advantage of you anymore or they think you changed or whatever reason, your partner could be the only one sticking with you and being fully supportive. You get into relationships with commitment to spend the rest of your lives together, you can't take it lightly.

[Janncis]

I think we have quite different idea of friends. People who take advantige of you aren't friends.

[CubsterShura]

@Janncis true, but friendships can end. Friends can change. And you might discover overtime that some of your friends weren't real.

[Tomsta]

Only if your below like 13. Anyone with anyform of maturity wouldn't take any offence to it at all

If someone is saying you can't have friends of the opposite gender they need to stop acting like a child

[Repa33]

Not at all. It would be controlling to say they can't see or hang out with someone

[Jan_Classic]

Yeah, if you want it to be 100% honest let him hang out with 2 busty chics at some Holiday Inn luxury suite

[Daisy007]

Yes!! Extremly disrespectful what's next your not allowed to have any friends? I would NOT be with someone so insecure. Talk about wanting to keep me in a box >:c

[IAmRedThunder]

Absolutely not. It’s healthy to have friends of the same gender as your partner. If your partner isn’t okay with it then run. They have some serious jealousy issues.

[Smiley_face101]

My best guy friend has a girlfriend and he and I hang out together a lot, his girlfriend knows and its fine with her.

[talltom94]

It's disrespectful if you hide/lie about who you're hanging out with, but if you're in a relationship with someone who wants you to cut some or all of your friends out of your life then that's not a good relationship

[MissDawn7961]

not really but it would be nice if you introduced your partner to your opposite sex friends too ! Thanks

[Ecologygirl76]

Yes it is. It’s okay to hang out with opposite gender friends in a group setting or in a professional setting but one on one is inappropriate/disrespectful to your partner

[naijagurl]

It’s not disrespectful. It only becomes a problem when you find yourself lying about it or doing more than just hanging out.

[AynonOMouse]

If you hang out with them one on one or if when you have difficulties in your relationship you go to be comforted by an opposite gender friend one on one.

[xxxibygnnn]

Communication is key.

If you were long time friends then it would never be disrespectful.

but I would always let my partner know who I am hanging out with
if I don't then I Would consider it disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

It is if they aren't comfortable with you doing it but also if you have known them for years before you started dating your partner then I think he or she should be understanding

[Aquariusmystery]

Yes if:
-there’s romantic interest on one side at least
-you have history
-you/they are up to no good

No if:
-they are aware you’re just friends
-the other person is gay

[Xoxo3rach3xoxo]

No it’s not you can have friends that are different gender then you as long as ur not flirting or if he likes you as more then a friend or you used to like them

[Drumlin2001]

Nope.
If you go out of your way to hide it maybe. But no need to hide if just hanging with friends

[EmbraceThePain]

Not necessarily, but the specifics matter of course.

[Izumiblu]

It can be but depends if n lots of different factors.

Typically no, but possibly yes.

[Cap_T]

Well look its him you shud see his reaction maybe its normal maybe its not its different

[PinkMichae]

Not at all. As long as it's a friendship that never possessed romantic feelings.

[weasley8]

No. Your partner shouldn't control who you get to be friends with.

[Sophie_2301]

No, of course not. If they think that’s disrespectful, then they’re a jealous creep.

[luvstoned4him]

I dont see anything wrong as long as you dont do it often and you remain honest on both sides.

[saeyamazaki]

Nope~ there’s no problem with having friends of opposite genders

[Jansetta]

A lot of my friends are of opposite gender because of my job. He should be mature and respect my friendship choices

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

I wouldn't do it. I would only spend time with a female friend, if my girlfriend was with us.

[lollyacctwo]

If there truly friends the there isn't anything wrong with it.

[BrookieCookie0422]

I don’t think so. As long as you’re not flirting with or fucking any of them lmao

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite gender. I have male friends and my boyfriend has female friends. Trust is important.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't date a girl who has problems with it. My friends (including female) are too important for me so I won't have a partner dictating me who can I be friends with. Controlling partners and abusers do that.

[Jalpj1083]

Cool! I don’t date men who have female friends. Feelings mutual.

[valentine74]

I think it's a total diss whe my girlfriend hung out with all guy friends and then tell me gossip about those fags

[Kit_Kat88]

No it isn’t but I wouldn’t want my partner to spend time alone with them in a private setting

[Kit_Kat88]

I wouldn’t prohibit them from doing that but I’d express my concern

[Browneye57]

They're the backup plan in case you don't work out. What's yours?

[DWD94]

only if your partner is insecure and overprotective

[Iron_Man]

Probably so the rules have to be worked out before then

[Gedaria]

Why. You can talk to anyone you like. If he gets upset it's him that has the problem...

[Browser101]

No, unless you are violating previously agreed upon relationship standards

[CT_CD]

It's disrespectful to your partner if you hangout with your friends of the opposite gender

[standardguy]

No. If they are really friends and not friends with privileges all is fine.

[Anonymous]

Nope, it's disrespectful when one partner is insecure and tries to tell the other parter who they can and can't hang out with. Insecurity is toxic.