Men know what goes on to other men's minds. I mean, he himself literally approached you when you were wearing something revealing but he's not comfortable with other guys doing that when you're with him. But I agree, its very, very hypocritical. I mean, I find no point in a guy even being with a girl despite being aware how she dresses.
I'm on the opposite end, dress quite conservatively, don't even wanna kiss a guy or show him any extra inch of skin unless he marries me. It would be pretty absurd if my boyfriend was mad that I don't send him nudes when I make my stance quite clear, vocal and strong about my stance on this matter at all times. I actually had an ex who made me feel terrible about not sending him nudes but I'm a happier person when I look back and know that I didn't let him weaken me. Absolutely no one has any right to my body.
They probably wouldn't even notice you if you weren't dressed in something revealing in the first place 😂 but hey, we can't really change these people but just be vocal about our stance from the beginning so that later on they have no scope to make you feel bad about yourself for not doing whatever they would want you to do.
Honesty is the best policy ✌️
It also shows a lack of self-respect
Thanks for MHO!
Honestly if they met her dressed that way , they should inquire as to whether this is her •guy getting get up•
OR just her style that she intends to continue with it relationship or no. Then make the decision accordingly as to whether or not to Persuse.
Clothing is an art firm for many people and you don’t get to decide why they are dressed that way nor can you control it. Instead of being megalomaniac and expecting the world to adapt to your preference, Date someone who dresses the way you like. See a sexy dress , abort mission. Got for the girl in slacks and sensible shoes. 🤷♀️
I get where you are coming from, but it's a male-psychology thing.
The big difference is that when we approached our girlfriend, she was single, or allegedly single, and advertising. When a woman wears revealing clothing, she is advertising. Even if she doesn't want the attention. Even if she would get the attention while dressed modestly; by wearing revealing clothing when she is with us, she's showing off the goods. In a man's mind, when his girl is wearing revealing clothing, it's like posting up a "For Sale" sign in front of his house. If the house isn't actually for sale, how are you gonna get mad when people hit you up about your house when you put a sign out in the front?
Completely agree. All of a sudden these guys become possessive. I love when my girlfriend dresses sexy. So I don't have any problems with girls being provocative or sexy. Why wouldn't I love that.
These guys who suddenly start complaining do they check out other girls who dress sexy while wanting their girlfriend to dress "modestly". Hence my point would you rather he still has his eyes on you instead of wandering and checking other girls out. That's why you should continue to dress sexy.
I agree with you you got what you saw. What's the problem? She's wearing the same kind of clothes she was wearing when you guys met.
@Sabretooth
@OlderAndWiser blocked me so just replying here. I wasn't calling you a rapist. Was just making a point. Stark difference between leering, catcalling and sexual assault.
Opinion
233Opinion
I don't know for sure, but one of my dates before my SO told me he didn't like women dressing revealing because he found it tasteless, insecure, trashy and attention seeking.
I personally, think revealing clothes are fine. There's just a place and time for that kind if stuff. If you wear revealing clothes for every occasion that might be doing too much. If you're partying/having fun with your friends or SO I don't see the problem.
Exactly, but if thats her why of dress cuz thats just how she want to dress (im not sayn this is what your sayn but) that dont mean she's "tasteless","insecure ", or an "attention seeker"shit the bitch is probably just living her best life to the fullest just how she want &thats just how she want to do it
Now I know that my days off wearing short skirts and dresses are over but I'm not going to start dressing like Mother Teresa just because I'm married.
What looks sexy is just an opinion.
I can wear something nice out and get looks. My husband would never make me feel bad about it and or tell me to change.
@Red_Arrow
I agree though I am not sure she meant bc she thought she looked bad or bc she thought it inappropriate for marriage
But yeah people wear skirt skirts and look good in any ages.
@Red_Arrow
I’m eating to hear the verdict. I agree in both of should be ok in marriage and age shouldn’t affect skirts..
I really think the intent counts for a lot.
😊
@Red_Arrow
😂 yes the former 😌😊😊
I just don't want to wear mini skirts/dresses and and hot pants anymore.
In 2000 Kylie Minogue made hot pants fashionable again with her release of the music video "Spining Around" I was 22.
I don't limit myself as to what I can wear neither does my husband.
I'll still wear crop tops to the gym and bikinis on the beach I don't really care what others think.
u Why do you need to advertise what you got if it's not on the market?
Damn
@OlderAndWiser Well said!!
I never know that ALL women who wear sexy clothes are advertising themselves. Sure there are some who wear like that for attention but as a woman myself, I know there are many other women who just enjoy looking hot. If she is advertising herself, why would she wear like that in public when he is with her? Unless she wears like that alone, then I can see why is it a form of advertising.
That just makes you an annoying tease lol :P
@DonCachondo lmao I can't 💀💀💀💀
Results the same-it's like taking a nice steak into a poor area and leaving to go to the bathroom-expecting no one to eat it.
@Sabretooth You're really putting men down by saying that they have no self control.
@Goodwifie i'm just realistic. some do-many don't-it's a risk you take.
@Sabretooth that sounds really rapey dude, have ever rapped a woman?
You sound like a rapist because any decent guy can look and keep his hands to himself.
@Goodwifie lol. no, i'm not.
@Sabretooth Its the risk you take? So what about women who are completely covered? What about your mother sister (likely don't have a gf), what about them? Should they be "taking" risk?
No one is responsible but the individual themselves. That is rapey indeed. She can be completely naked you keep your hands and dick to yourself.
@Oram52 Telling people to take precautions against crime does not mean that we are absolving the criminal of responsibility for their actions. If someone breaks into a house, they are responsible for committing burglary. However, you lock your house at night and when you are gone. . . right? Why? You have the right to leave your house unlocked and expect that no one will make any unauthorized entry!
Human Being vs Property.
Car is a property we lock it, so it wouldn't get stolen. If I am at a bar and I say something rude to a person and he punches me he's charged. He has no right to violate my individual rights hence use violence even if I swore or said something rude.
What an individual wears is NO invitation to violate their individual rights and be exposed to any sort of violence. Doing so absolves the culprit of responsibility and puts the blame on the victim, which creates environment and culture where these things become even more prevalent. It in turn makes our sisters, mothers, female friends even less safe.
Clothing makes no difference otherwise women wouldn't be sexually assaulted in winter when they are covered head to toe. Putting the blame on women they cover up so they wouln't be sexually assaulted does the opposite, and makes such abuse more common, its women that are blamed and NOT the culprit.
An individual can wear whatever they want, you TELL sickos and culprits keep your hands off not put such responsibility back on women. Which counter-intuitive and simply makes it more prevalent. There were cultures wear women are topless yet men don't go around assaulting women. What about hot weather should women wear a burka? Women wear bikinis on beach should they stop doing so in case they are inviting men to assault them?
Not to mention it reflects very poorly on us men, that we are animals and can't control ourselves? Women are not properties. They should require NO precautions at all in what they were. Put the emphasize, blame, responsibility solely on men advocating such heinous views.
@Oram52 Wrong! Telling someone to exercise cautions for their own safety and anticipate that every citizen does not follow the law does not absolve criminals for their behavior. If you had a 13 year old daughter, would you allow her to go outside and play unsupervised with the neighborhood boys if she was not wearing any clothing?
"Wrong! Telling someone to exercise cautions for their own safety and anticipate that every citizen does not follow the law does not absolve criminals for their behavior."
You're a lawyer right?
You wouldn't leave 13 year old unsupervised regardless. So you as a lawyer are saying women should cover up so they shouldn't be assaulted or raped? Take precautions because you don't know who you might face so take precautions?
So by exact same logic, say you were wearing t-shirt and shorts. Someone gay sees you, as you were "enticing" him it'll be ok for someone gay to sexually assault worse rape you? As you're the one to blame you didn't take precautions and were enticing him?
Again you seem to be AS A LAWYER unable to differentiate between a property and a human being.
@Oram52 Yes, I am a lawyer. No need to ask repeatedly. As an attorney, I understand that responsibility is not a monolithic concept. Responsibility for an event can be shared by two or more separate entities. If you leave your car unlocked and the keys in the ignition and it is subsequently stolen by a juvenile who wanted a quick joy ride, the car thief bears sole criminal responsibility for their actions. . . but you could have avoided this occurrence entirely by not leaving the keys in the car.
I know that you want to avoid the idea that some clothing might be seen as provocative but that is your issue. Why do girls post pictures of some outfit they plan to wear to an event and ask, "Is this sexy?" Is the answer, "No, nothing is sexy because revealing clothing never elicits any sexual interest in any male?" Do you live in a world founded on denial?
" it'll be ok for someone gay to sexually assault worse rape you?" Where in the fuck did you come up with that nonsense? You are just creating fiction so you will have something to criticize, being a might warrior slaying a fictional dragon. If I said it is okay for anyone to commit a rape, please show me where I said that, Mr. Keyboard Warrior!
"Again you seem to be AS A LAWYER unable to differentiate between a property and a human being." What? I merely used locking your doors as an example of taking reasonable precautions in anticipating the possible occurrence of criminal activity.
Don't bother me any more with this nonsense!
Merely replying to your comment.
Responsibility for sexual assault and rape does NOT have to be taken by both parties, yes as you being a lawyer I find it reprehensible. As I've stated repeatedly above it does the opposite and makes women even more unsafe where culture or society puts the blame on women, women don't have to bear any responsibility, they WEREN'T asking to be assaulted or raped no matter what they were wearing.
You seem to have missed my point about someone gay. So would it be ok for someone gay to sexually assault or rape you or me because we were wearing t-shirt and shorts?
You're the one unable to distinguish between locked door and a human being. It is exactly such attitudes that assaults or rape against women went unchecked, what "metoo" movement at least was suppose to be about.
If I was to make such comments my mum would be appalled.
@Oram52 I'm no rapist-both my aunt were raped-and I don't appreciate the accusations-and you beat be mindful before you make such accusations in the future. A woman who wears revealing cloth will draw attention-sexual attention-I wouldn't act on it-but, any idiot would know she's at least gonna get leared at. This is the real world
I was 15 when my brothers fiances father touched me inappropriately, I was wearing a T-shirt and baggy jeans.
I was 19 when a guy walked up beside me after I got off the train and said that if he had his mates with him I'd be in trouble because him and his mates would rape me. I was wearing a long black ankle length dress with shoestring straps with no cleavage showing.
I remember these moments because they are just so bloody hard to forget.
I've also been grab by men while at work in my pharmacy uniform and I can tell you that there is nothing sexy about my uniform.
@Goodwifie I do not excuse the behavior of any man who acts like that. They should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and if I was a witness to such behavior, I would gladly cooperate. I know that most rapes are not motivated by the way a woman is dressed. However, there are some guys who get aroused by seeing a woman scantily clad. And women who are dressed that way are trying to elicit a sexual response. How often do we read questions asking, "Is this a sexy outfit?" Yes, clothing can elicit a sexual response.
If you know that not all men behave appropriately, why would you want to take a a chance on something that can have such grave consequences? So many people "a girl should be able to walk down the street naked and not get raped." I agree, but what they are describing is an ideal world in which we do not live. We live in that imperfect world where bad things happen. If I had a 14 year old daughter, should I tell her that it's okay to go to the park naked? Of course not. And if she got assaulted, I wouldn't blame her; I'd go kill the son of a bitch.
I am sorry that you have had those experiences and my comments on this subject are never directed at any specific person. But I will persist in saying that if the possibility of illegal behavior can be anticipated, reasonable precautions should be taken.
@Goodwifie i think i speak for OlderAndWiser when i say this. we're not saying that such things don't happen-we're saying it adds to the risk.
@Sabretooth no it doesn't.
Assholes will be assholes no matter what it doesn't matter what she's wearing.
@Goodwifie yes, it does, it all comes back to my example with the steak-by the time you return-they're be a blood bath.
@Sabretooth so men are Neanderthals and can't help themselves?
@Goodwifie no, but many lack the morals and maturity to try.
OMG this debate is never gonna end 😣
@Pinky_what_why Yes, and it all began because I said that if a girl is in a relationship with a guy, she does need to be showing the other guys what she's got! And that's ALL that I meant by that comment but folks seem to have gotten riled up a bit!
Lmao I got what u meant that's why I said damn cause it just made me rethink how to dress.
Guys who do that know they are low value and risk some other guy chatting her up and eventually getting left by her for that other guy.
I dont. I like my girlfriend sexy and others jealous
Well, it’s because men understand the intentions and type of attention when it comes to a woman wearing revealing or provocative clothing. For example, I would find it hard to believe that a man wouldn’t find a woman who is wearing something revealing or sexually provocative to be attractive. Even though this is the case, that doesn’t mean that this same man would want or feel comfortable with his wife, girlfriend, or daughter to go out wearing such clothing. I don’t feel comfortable knowing that other men are ogling at my loved ones while they’re wearing these types of clothing, and perhaps trying to flirt or touch them as well. Also, you can question the character or personality of the woman who would want to wear something that is revealing or sexually provocative while she has a boyfriend or husband. I also, along with many men I’m sure, like the idea that my girlfriend or wife only shows those parts of her body to me because I’m someone special to her, rather than flaunting it freely or openly without discrimination, every time she goes out.
I get what you mean. The issue here is why did the guy approach her at the first place, knowing how she dresses? He obviously loved what he saw but expect her to change just for him. It is so much easier for him to just get a modest girl rather than stay in a relationship where he feels uncomfortable with his gf's clothing all the time.
Well, the two situations are different. In my opinion, it’s okay for a woman to wear whatever clothing she wants when she’s single, if she wants to feel sexy, attract attention, and is comfortable wearing these clothes. This doesn’t mean she is actually sexually promiscuous or anything like that. Now, once she has a man, the situation changes. I don’t think it’s right for her to wear such clothes if her man expresses discomfort in her wearing them; it’s not necessarily insecurity on the man’s part. I know she doesn’t have to listen to me and can choose to do whatever she wants, so if that’s the case then I’d just leave her on the spot. I don’t think many men are necessarily insecure, which is the reason why they don’t want their woman wearing such revealing or sexually provocative clothing, I just think it’s natural to not want other men to sexually target, harass, assault, flirt, etc. with someone who you love. It’s a primal and natural thing.
Alright I think first you have to take time to figure out what clothes you have he thinks is revealing.. have him pick out the clothes he doesn't feel comfortable with you wearing when your not around him... revealing can mean wearing a tank top to having your breasts completely exposed people have different opinions on it.. for me personally I never wore short shorts outside in public till this year you can hardly find longer shorts.. its too hot for pants use to only wear them around the house.. but I do a bend test is I can bend over and see my underwear in the mirror I know not out in public.. or bend over and see completely down my shirt.. I think he cares for you and only wants to be the one your wearing certain clothes for.. WANTING TO LOOK GOOD AND WEAR CLOTHES THAT ARE TASTEFUL DOES NOT MEAN YOUR TRYING TO ATTRACT OTHER MEN! I hate it how people assume that.. when you look good you get better service in public! Like check out at a grocery store or waitress.. people are friendlier to you! Figure out what he thinks you shouldn't be wearing and go from there.. if you dont think something is too revealing but he does ask him why.. figure out why he's thinking what he's thinking..
Well, there's two kinds of "looking good"... there's classy:
and then there's Trashy:
cleavage-n-downblouse.tumblr.com/post/171844933816
Exactly!
When he met her she would have been dressing provocatively to attract a guy like him... how is it hypocritical for him to want her not to now the she no longer needs to attract a guy anymore? unless she is a hypergamy toting tunnel gutted player looking to "upgrade".. then she has no reason to...
"This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship."
Yes... 🤷♂️ no brainer here. Why would she feel the need to seek validation and admiration from other Males if she already has one unless she is a hypergamy toting tunnel gutted thot seeking to "upgrade".
If you knew he was a smoker, and that is a deal-breaker for you then you could of.. hmm.. not got with him to begin with.
In anycase, you can't compare a drug addiction (smoking) to being slutty. That makes no sense.
"get a girl who dresses modestly". Yes.. most smart Men do indeed. Hence all the anger on GAG from thots.. how dare Men have standards too!🙄
I don't think anything I wear is too revealing anyway. If I wear a very short tight dress, it's probably long sleeved and high necked. I would not show off everything as once, it's just not my thing. I think I pretty reasonable, and so if a man ever had a problem with the way I dressed I'd be pretty surprised. I mean, I might wear more revealing things in private (like my underwear) but without offending any of the men here, I think it shows a sign of insecurity on the man's part. Like what am I supposed to wear to the beach? A wetsuit?
More on the insecurity thing, I'll explain. If my boyfriend walks around shirtless on the beach, and there are a bunch of girls checking him out, to me, that would just be confirmation of how gorg he is and I wouldn't be all possessive over him because I know that he doesn't give a shit about any of those girls. I know it's slightly different for me, because girls can be at risk of more dangerous things. So if I was wearing a super revealing dress, which I never really do, he'd stay with me.
Your complaint is very troubling: "Isn't it hypocritical to ask her to change the way she dresses just because you are with her now. This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship".
Are you saying that you should be free to try and attract/flirt with other guys even though you're in a relationship? Your position allows someone to make the argument that they should be allowed to sleep with other people even if they're married/in a relationship.
Like @pineappleorange said: the key word is "provocatively". If your goal is to get attention from other men by the way you dress. You should either encourage your boyfriend to give his attention to other girls, or leave him so you can enjoy the attention from other guys.
I don't see anything wrong with dressing sexy when going out with your boyfriend; as long as you're not giving other guys reason to doubt that you're with him (i. e. you're letting him show you off). We all have responsibilities when we're in relationships. People who understand this either commit fully or stay single. Choose! It's unfair of you to try to eat your cake and have it too.
Also: changing for, and expecting a partner to change for you in certain ways is not wrong either. But that's a discussion for another time.
I absolutely agree. That's like saying that I can flirt with other girls now that I'm in a relationship with you, or continue to go to strip clubs, because that's what I did when I was single, and you shouldn't get mad at that. It's ridiculous. There are things you should not do when you're in a relationship that you could get away with when you were single.
Your example and your way of thinking is ENTIRELY and UTTERLY WRONG.
The keyword here is PROVOCATIVE, which means:
pro·voc·a·tive = arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately.
"I want to emphasize here that these men approached their gf's while she was dressing provocatively. Isn't it hypocritical to ask her to change the way she dresses just because you are with her now. This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship."
Dressing provocatively is what BOTH GENDERS DO when THEY ARE SINGLE because they are "arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately" in order to find a partner.
Once you have found a partner, it is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE to continue this type of behavior.
Smoking, in modern times, is not PROVOCATIVE behavior. It's unhealthy and unattractive.
Therefore, your comparison is 100% WRONG.
U pressed no need to be stressed
@Pinky_what_why What does that even mean?
So like u was kinda angry when u was on the topic and you were stressing ur point I could tell by how u delivered ur point. That's all.
No it’s not hypocritical of a guy to ask you to change your clothing. What is hypocritical is asking her to change her clothing but refusing any requests related to such.
When a girl becomes a guy’s girlfriend, he’ll start to get possessive of her, he’ll want to shelter, protect and care for her. This is similar to how he might act with his little sister. Personally I hate it when my sister wears revealing clothing, but revealing clothing is designed to get sexual attention from men, that’s a fact. So when I see that a girl is wearing such provocative clothing, it sends a message to me that she doesn’t mine getting attention from guys.
Naturally, the boyfriend won’t want this, he’ll want her all to her own, which is fine and all until the issue starts to get in the way of their happiness. Personally I don’t mind it as long as I know that my girl is loyal and strong/tough. If she’s a little loose on her principles (I’ll probably be dumping her soon if that’s the case) then I might suggest wearing more “neutral” clothing
And where do men's protective nature go when a woman unintentionally gets pregnant?
@CubsterShura some go out the window, some grow even stronger.
If a guy is already very protective/caring if the girl, then the more likely he is to have a positive reaction to a pregnancy. Think about it: if a guy loves a girl, wants to treat her and take care of her, he’s doing that because his instinct is to love and care for the mother of his children, because he sees that she could mother his children, and he’ll want to nurture her and take care of her so his children can be loved and nurtured.
But if the man doesn’t see the qualities in a woman that he looks for, i. e he just wants to bang her and isn’t interested in a serious/long term relationship, then of course he’s going to respond very negatively when hears of a pregnancy. “Whoops, this was fun and all but I’m not here for this, have fun with raising the kid, but you’re not the one I love” is the general idea of the guy as he leaves her. That or he’s just too afraid to accept the responsibilities of being a father; in which case he’s not mature enough yet.
Fair enough. A lot of guys just scream about their protective nature unless the time comes when they really need to step forward and finally really the protecting role.
Finally take*
This man doesn't.
I think it's mainly insecurity. They assume she's dressing to attract other men, that they're not good enough, take your pick. There's a fundamental lack of understanding that she might be dressing either for him, or for herself.
I see your point and partially agree with you. Ofc nobody shouldn't force their partner to change anything just because they want it. Especially things that already was visible. Because those things you kinda already accepted when getting into the relationship... however...
The action of dressing up in sexy and revieling clothing signals things like "I'm free to take"... any man or woman knows that. And when you are in a relationship you are not free to take unless you have an open relationship. So maybe put on a few grams more fabric than when you were single... I don't think the man suggests you look like a nun.
The only examples of this I have seen or heard of are difficult to take you opinion on... because in those cases the outfit the girl wore literally fitted a stripper.. and that is really not justifiable... maybe at home alone with your partner... but not even on the garden.
And now we also have to touch the topic about "I don't wear it to impress boys/girls. I wear it only for myself, it's comfortable"... NO... No... that is so much BS. Nobody in the entire world wears anything outside of their home only "for themselves" because then 99% of people would wear sweaters and crocs... We can wear something mostly for ourselves yes... but we always take other people's opinion into account when dressing ourselves to leave the house... that's just how it is. But that is fine.
And finally... comparing this to smoking isn't really possible. Smoking is in most cases an addiction AND 99% of people would probably TRY to stop if their partner asked them to. And it seems to be quite socially acceptable to start a relationship with a smoker and then ask them to stop, because I know a lot of relationships where this happened... with mixed results. So why would it be wrong for a man, or woman, to ask their partner to maybe cover more than 0,2% of their body with clothes?
''I want to emphasize here that these men approached their gf's while she was dressing provocatively'' a lot of men think that girls wear those kind of clothes in order to attract a man, so when they get into a relationship and already attracted the man they are with, the revealing clothes served their purpose and now they should only show their sexuality to the man they are with. :D they dont realize that most girls who dress like that simply enjoy feeling sexy, so unless this choice of clothing starts AFTER the relationship they dont have the right to demand a change of style. Especially since most men who demand this after they get into a relationship continue to look at other girls who are dressed sexy.
See, I have a few feelings about this. I agree, if you knew that was your girl's style before getting with her, you can't instantly take control of how she dresses just because you decided you were insecure.
However, I don't think it's unfair for a guy to voice his opinion about his woman's clothes. Sure, maybe she dressed kinda sexy before, but then one day decided she wanted to "try a new style" that was SO REVEALING that her titties are out and her nipples are showing. I think he has a right to say: "Hey, I really don't want the entire world to see your fucking titties, holy shit."
I think context is what matters here.
Speaking from experience, it's a reflection of the guys own inadequacies and insecurities. They become jealous when other men look at their girlfriend. So they try to change her to feel more confident within themselves. They disregard the affect their behaviour has on their girlfriend.. which shows he has issues. I couldn't be with a guy who was jealous and had issues like that. Eventually, that type of relationship turns toxic and controlling. It also has the potential of becoming an abusive relationship.
The thing is that things change when you are in a committed relationship. You should never change who you are, but things do change. If your boyfriend approached you when you were wearing revealing clothes, that is NOT the same thing as another man doing it because it's another man. By that logic, if you were sleeping around when he met you then you should continue sleeping around when you are with him. Why would a guy want other men approaching his woman? That doesn't make any sense. Smoking has nothing to do with other people.
I get what you are saying. It's like if you have friends of the opposite sex, you don't just kick them to the curb when you are in a relationship. That's unreasonable.
I was using that like you used smoking. It has nothing to do with other people. No man would be sitting at home wondering if you are smoking. It's comparable in that it is something you are doing while you are single. There are many things people do while they are single that they stop once in a relationship. You are entitled to do whatever you want, but you can't be in a relationship and just be like "I do what I want," because it's no longer just about you.
Smoking is something that you should know immediately, unless it's a habit they pick up afterwards. Promiscuity isn't cheating when you are single, and that's the point. It is no longer just about you. It can be, but that relationship won't last. Flirting can be cheating, depending on what you view as cheating, but it's also provocative.
A couple of reasons i guess
1. We know it attracted us so we dont want other guys attracted to her. We know she’s hot. So if she dresses to impress often we know other guys will find her hot and go for her. More guys that go for her the higher the chance she might leave us for him
2. Sometimes guys feel that revealing clothes is to attract a mate. So now that you have one there isn't a need to attract men. Cause you are taken. Almost like going out to clubs. Generally single people go
I should add im not one of those guys. I like her looking sexy and i dont mind if guys look lol but those are the reasons why i think guys do mind or why i would mind if that was the casE. You’re sexy, clearly lol so your guy is probably worried
If a girl likes her fashion makeup and hair she's somehow flaunting it. If she likes to feel good about herself wearing figure hugging outfits she's asking for it. And on a night out she's got the hair piece in, big fake eyelashes on and fake tan done oh well then she's a slut!. Finally with the mini dress or skirt on with 4" heels and feeling super good she's a prostitute 😤😤😤😤 If a guy wants a plain Jane dressed like a sleeping bag good for him. You dont make corn beef with a sirloin steak now do you 👑👑😘😘
Now listen here
When a single woman dresses "provocatively", she's showing she's available and has interest in getting together with men (actively or subconsciously).
It's like a social/biological thing. Like a peacock spreading his brilliant long feathery tail to attract a peahen. Like other animals who show off something they have to attract their mate.
That is why "these" men approached their gfs when they dressed "provocatively", they were attracted. And now that they're in a firm relationship, they don't want their gfs to continue the "provocative" dressing because they subconsciously connect it with the availability of their gfs, and they definitely don't want their gfs showing interest in other guys or other guys attracted to their gfs.
Smoking isn't a way of attraction but repulsion instead. So it doesn't exactly go the same way as clothing.
You wouldn't like your boyfriend doing something that attracted other single girls to him either
Well, I can understand because I am trying to understand where the man is coming from. A lot of people don’t think what if the same happened to me they just think about themselves. I think if you don’t expect him to behave a certain way then don’t behave it yourself. Personally I don’t even like to show cleavage because I think it is tacky and cheap looking. I used to wear very short tight skirts in my early teens, I don’t anymore. I think it’s so much more elegant and classy to dress like a lady. It looks so regal. There is nothing wrong with a shorter dress or skirt as long as it doesn’t show your bum. Also skin tight clothing is a bit meh kind of gives people the wrong impression and they will look and try to make advances towards the woman. If someone is showing cleavage and bum they’re definitely trying to get attention I mean there is nothing innocent about it and I wouldn’t be friends with cheap people who dress like that either.
@SarahElizabeth98 Well, I mostly agree with you for everything you said and appreciate your honesty and neutral thinking. The only thing bugging here is calling them cheap because people do that subconciously. Even if they think they are willingly doing it, it's a common thing for us to seek attention. I am glad that you saw through all that nonsense and chose to become better. Other than that I think the same as you I mean people do look elegant in long dresses like Elven king Thranduil, Elrond, Arwen, Legolas XD. And men wear suits on most occasions which cover their whole body while making them look all classy, why don't the women compete with that right? A bespoke suit always fits😉
@Kaytiee You are right. Self-assurance makes you feel great. But as we are generally speaking, I did not take those women in account just like the asker didn't take those men into account who let their gfs wear what they want. Thanks😉
It's a insecurity thing and they feel that she is seeking attention from other guys. It doesn't bother me considering for the most part she is coming home with me , Now if she was barely ever wearing revealing clothes while she was with me but starts wearing reveling clothes to go out with her friends Then that's a Red flag, that she is up to something and seeking attention from other. guys behind my back , so it just comes down to her actions
Insecurity, or they think she’s looking for new or better attention through the way she dresses.
In reality what is the reason one dresses provocatively? It is seductive, it is for attention, it shouts out “I want you to see me and want me”. Whether she sees it that way or intends for that is up to her.
It’s not really fair that we generalise how people dress means certain things, but it is the way it is.
I think the answer lies in the intention, or his perception of the intention might be misunderstood. A smokers intention is to get their fix, what is the intention of wearing certain clothing? To you it might just make you feel better, to him it could seem as if the intention is attracting a better prospect. Communication as usual is the key to these issues. If you clearly align the intention, and are honest, and he discounts it, height lack the required maturity to be in a serious relationship.
Absolutely, but it took communication to come to that conclusion...
I really think your question should have begun "why do SOME men..."
Most men don't mind.
As to those who do mind, I think it stems from a combination of controlling behavior (they might find it difficult to keep her attracted to them because they are not very interesting/exciting themselves) and/or insecurities (they fear losing her).
Sometimes it's not insecurity dude it's love. Even girl is average girl and if he finds another man if you love her would you say okay i can find another one? Even you look like Brad Pitt you would feel bad of losing your love. Then after some time you could move on.
*if she
I think it depends on their assumptions. One might assume that a given woman just dresses the way she does, in which case it would indeed be ridiculous to expect her to change once she's in a relationship.
However, if one assumed that she wears revealing clothing in order to attract men (because the world does revolve around us after all) then once her revealing clothing successfully attracted a man, he might not see any reason for her to dress provocatively except to pick up another man.
That's my guess anyway.
Men get upset because who else is she trying to attract? also who wants a bunch of guys gawking at their woman. I agree with your assertion, that they should go after girls who are already modest, if thats what they want long-term.
Its why I stopped going after girls who dress immodestly
I can't relate to your question for these reasons -
IF a girl wears clothing that is TOO revealing, I'm not going to pursue a relationship with her because right off the bat, she's not going to be "my type".
IF a girl wears clothing that tastefully shows off her assets in a classy way, then she's got me.
That being case, I'd still want to see that in her choices for clothes and I'd have no need to do try and restrict her choices. She knew what she was doing before, and she knows what she's doing now. I'll just sit back and smile.
It sounds like you already know WHY they get upset. I don't really get why you are asking this question. But I will say that you should respect him when or if he does get upset because that shows he doesn't want to lose you, and maybe he lacks some confidence. If you wear revealing clothing other men will find you attractive, if you are indeed attractive. And when that happens some men will try to flirt. The same way you don't want anyone flirting with your husband, or boyfriend. He doesn't want anyone flirting with his wife, or girlfriend. So if he worries that you will be more of a target for flirtatious single men, you should take that as a sign that he wants to defend his love for you more than anything else.
That's not the issue. We all need a good loving bf/hubby. The main issue here is a man pursuing a woman despite knowing how she tends to dress up and then acting like something is wrong with her. Isn't it hypocritical? I mean, why even choose to be with a woman in the first place that you believe dresses in way too revealing clothing? Why not date someone that wears modest clothes to begin with? Or maybe you won't talk about it because you realized that you probably wouldn't be approaching her in the first place if her revealing clothes didn't entice you enough 🤷
I already got your perspective, and you really have to start questioning if it's hypocritical or not, because it actually is.
Hypocritical how? You wear something slutty to go to a bar with your boyfriend and he gets upset because guys start hitting on you, you can't fucking blame him. No one wants some other lonely mother fucker to hit on their girlfriend. the same way you don't want some slutty bitch hitting on your man. Besides of the first time I met you, was when we were in a library studying for a test, and you were dressed like you had self respect. I could start dating you and think you only dressed immodestly to impress me and such. And most people don think nothing more. But after you've already been dating someone for a while you don't have to impress them anymore. All your doing is impressing everyone else around you, who thinks you're a single hot slut, because your dressed like one. If your boyfriend gets upset that you dress like that he has the right to. And that's not hypocritical, look of the definition of a hypocrite. He'd be being hypocritical if he told you not to wear revealing clothing because it attracts other men. And then you told him not to wear extremely tight shirts to reveal his muscles, because it attracts other women. Or something like that. You have no right to be upset just say okay and move on if you actually love him.
It is hypocritical in a sense that you yourself hit on women for their revealing clothing and choose to date women whom you saw wearing clothes like that from the beginning and then acting like you have a problem with it later.
Are you talking to yourself at this point 😂
Never claimed to be one 🙄
It's controlling behaviour to want your S/O to dress a certain way and it's typical with insecure men.
If you feel you cannot trust the person you're with then you do them a favor and dump them. Just because someone's sexy doesn't mean they have no self control, we're not neanderthals anymore although some people seem to not have evolved past that stage.
Let's say a woman wants to go out naked would it be controlling or insecure of a man if he doesn't want her to do that?
What's the difference?
@ThisGuyDucks I doubt anyone sane would go out naked. It's controlling because you want to control how someone dresses, if you can't see the problem in that then you are part of the problem.
I've had guys hit on me when i've been in a relationship regardless of wether it's July and i'm wearing short shorts or December and i'm covered top to toe. Neither of those times have I done anything but kindly reject or simply ignored those flirty guys. Maybe if women hit on you when you're not single you'd have issues rejecting them and you're therefore taking for granted that all people have such non existent impulse control but that's not the case.
Okay, if you as a woman go out dressed revealing because you want attention from other men, is it okay if your boyfriend goes out and gives attention to other women who are also dressed revealing.
Is it controlling of you as a woman do not want your boyfriend to give attention to other women dressed revealingly?
@ThisGuyDucks lol nailed that slut
@alex_x988 You're both insecure incel pussies. Most women dress for themselves. And going up flirting with someone is hardly the same as dressing a certain way. One thing is others looking at you which creeps will do regardless of what you wear, the other is going out of your way to walk up to someone and flirt with them on purpose. You probably also believe a woman deserve to be raped if she wears a skirt in the summer because it's "revealing and shows skin". Bohoo. Get your insecure bullshit checked out by a therapist
If women dress up for themselves, why do they only dress up when they step out of the house?
Shouldn't they then be dressed up when they're alone in the house?
And incel? really? You're going to virgin shame me because I have the opinion that people shouldn't dress revealing and your partner has every right to be comfortable.
Well since you've resorted to name calling me already.
You stupid attention seeking cunt, go be with a cuck that would enjoy watching you have sex with other men whilst he jerks his dick to it, these kinds of men won't have any 'insecurity' about their slut or a girlfriend's dressing.
I'm sure your simp of a father enjoy when your rotten whore of a mother walks out naked.
I think anyone who rapes should be given a death sentence.
Just because I believe women and men should dress modest doesn't make me a bad person, stop assuming shit about me, I'm not a rapist.
You rancid fucking cunt.
I wish you weren't anonymous, so I would know what kind of a stupid fuck of a woman would interpret everything about me as negative as she could because I like modesty.
I really want to know who you are.
You deluded cancer
They want us to wear a potato bag when we are in a relationship but then cry that we stopped caring about our appearance since we started dating them 🤷🏽 I did have an ex like that.
Thank God my fiancé loves it when I dress sexy when we go out. He knows guys might check me out but he also knows I'm his and no one else.
They don't realise that girls enjoy dressing sexy and it's not necessarily to attract guys, we just like to look pretty for our own confidence etc.
All the guys that downvoted you can't believe the AUDACITY that... *Gasp!* Not everything women do is to get attention from men.
@amanda_smith Haha I know, amazing isn't it?
Guys don't get upset when their girlfriend wears revealing clothing. They may get upset when they wear revealing clothing around other guys. They may get upset, because they now what guys tend to think when a woman is wearing such clothing, and they don't want other guys having there thoughts about their girl.
Couldn’t agree more😊 I don’t think it’s rigjt for women who are taken to go out dressed so revealingly like in their bras if they have a man already... why should other guys look at your partner like that and end up potentially cheating on u?
@Gstacy1989: makes sense to me. Though there are some guys who like other guys to see a lot their girl's body, because they get some kind of thrill knowing other guys want her. An ego thing, partly. But it makes no sense to me, to have other guys seeing a lot your girl's body and lusting after her.
This is a huge gray area. Lots of variables. 1st and foremost you don't want unnecessary attention. Men are dipshits. You look sexy, say hi a certain way and you may have just put yourself in danger, orñ just bought yourself your own private stalker. Lol.. really tho. Be careful..
Next, you were single too when you guys met. Means you were looking for attention. Little birdie named insecurity just whispered in his ear "why she still look like she's looking for a man, maybe you ant good enuf".
Also, everybody likes a compliment, so yeah, show some skin, remind him that you deserve his attention.
A woman can wear anything she wants like a man can. There are no rules.
(reminded me of a quote)
"If you can't handle the sass, you can't handle this ass"
He's embarrassed of her showing her body to the world with no shame and slutting it up. How can a man have pride for his girl if she's showing the world what God gave her? That's embarrassing to be around a woman with little class. A man wants a woman to show everything only to him. It's better to cover it up in public and flaunt it in private with her guy. Otherwise you are just like any other classless whore out there. There's no difference between you and a prosititue selling her body on the corner.
No its not hypocritical. The revealing clothing is a sign saying you are looking for attention from the opposite sex I. e. you are single and looking. When you stop being single and looking you should stop advertising yourself as if you where single and looking otherwise your just disrespecting your partner. That's kind of like saying that you agreed to go out with your boyfriend because he hit on and flirted with you ergo its wrong of you to be upset when he hits on and flirts with other women.
That is your story as to why she is dressed that way she may actually like the style
You should ask upfront if she intends to continue once in a relationship then make your decision accordingly. Not just assume it’s for attracting Guys and it will change.
Some people like their body and enjoy different styles that don’t hide it. I’m sure some people dress to attract but you can’t decide that is unilaterally true for all people.
@VIVANT That's not "my story", that is literally why you dress that way, you do not dress revealing for yourself, you do it for male attention, period. Any statement otherwise is just an excuse (after all, the argument is "its the styel she likes", then the question is why? Because it makes her "feel good", and why does it make her feel good? Because it causes guys to pay attention to her.). So yes its for attracting guys. So if you want your boyfriend flirting with every girl he sees that's fine, after all, he isn't doing it to attract girls, he is just doing it because he enjoys it and you should definitely ask him if he will continue once in a relationship rather then assuming that he will suddenly stop hitting on women simply because he is in a relationship.
Would you want your boyfriend/husband to constantly get hit on by other girls and dress in a way to encourage it? That is the reason. And the majority of women that dress provocatively while in a relationship are purposely trying to get the attention of OTHER men because they aren't loyal. If they truly just liked to dress that way then they would also dress that way on days when they are just going to stay home with their SO too. If they only dress that way wen going out, it proves they are doing it for attention from other men and are disloyal.
As @JimRSmith pointed out, it could be for him (which would boosted his ego amongst his friends to land such a hottie) or for herself (boosted her confidence).
But there's also chances she's wearing to attract other men despite being in relationship.
Unable to tell for whom she's dressing for is the reason men got upset.
Because of your first sentence. They dont want other guys who might be better than them to be interested in their girl. I think I'm a catch tho so o don't worry about it even if I maybe should, I like showing off her body as much as she likes showing off her body
I think it's wrong to ask her to change if it's her normal way of dressing. You have to love her for it since she's your girl and she dresses like that :D
I guess guys could become jealous if they thing she's using the outfit to flirt around :o
But often they'll just be afraid that may happen and stupidly overreact :o
most dont, but some do cos of them being insecure and believe that their gf's would leave them if someone notices how attractive they are... the irony is that those who are insecure about things often try to control out of fear and wind up pushing their gf's into the arms of someone else
I don't know where you got such a silly notion unless it is all based on your experience with only one guy. Certainly a few guys may be like that, but most are not. Of course, you should dress in what is approprate for your age. By your age, you have lost your bloom and you are not the fresh, hot, super sexy young thing you were at age 20. That's when you looked good in a tight-fitting minidress and other flashly and skimpy clothes. So hubbies are not going to like it if their 30 year old wives dress to try to look like sexy twenty-year-olds. Of course if your figure permits it, there are sexy somewhat revealing clothes suitable for older women such as yourself.
Why would a woman get upset that her boyfriend still approaches and chats up women when that's how he got her? Same reason. When you're single you look for attention from the opposite sex to attract them into your life. If you're in a relationship and you're still doing that, something is wrong.
I'm married, and I could care less what my wife wears out. She wears something revealing? Cool beans, imma be distracted most the night. My wife is my wife, and I am her husband. Trust is a big thing in our relationship, and I trust her to make the right choices.
Well, something gotta but open before you enter into a relationship.
If a guy likes flirting with women then you gotta understand that before you enter into a relationship and found he got like 2-3 more girls with him.
On the other hand, if a girl likes to dress up and flirt with guys then her boyfriend gotta understand that this is her style and either he accommodate her or bang another girl.
I guess that men who do what you describe have little trust in their own appeal, and little trust in their girls' doing.
Being dressed to kill, of course will attract a number of predators; I personally don't like the idea of going out together nicely, and leaving behind a number of corpses when the evening is over.
But I'll be prepared...
Otherwise: as long as the clothing is socially acceptable I will not interfere in her choices.
I love it when a girl I’m having sex with dresses that way in the right setting. I’m not thrilled when guys hit on her, but as long as she goes home with me and doesn’t do more than smile and be polite to them I’m cool with it. In fact, it might turn me on a little knowing that they want her, but I’m the one she’s going home with.
If you need to dress provocative when you have a boyfriend you have zero respect for him, value other mens attention more than your boyfriend that makes you Just a attention Whore. Are you seeking negative attention with this question or are you really so twisted? And by the way, hè is not your boyfriend, he is your personal entertainment device the way you talk about him. You are flipping the script. He is rational that he doesn't want his girl dress like a hoe. You act like its normal to dress like a hoe in a relation and your boyfriend nags. You feel yourself entitled and are condescending to him. I thank you for your behaviour because more men become MGTOWS because of entitled prinsesses like you
Well I don't wear provocative clothes, but my husband wants me to take care even if I lean over, because sometimes shirts can drop a little bit when you are leaning down or hunched over or something. But, I guess either way, when you are in a commited and monogamous relationship like I am with my husband, it's for his eyes only. I'm not going to advertise what belongs to my husband. And I wouldn't want him to do so either.
Because they want their girlfriend to probably be the one they show their parents, their friends, and even be the mother of their kids, and women who dress to revealing usually aren't the ones they want to do that with.
I've been told there are two types of women in the world, the ones you play with and the ones you stay with. But again, not all men are the same.
They don’t want other men looking at her. Like I get that, but men need to understand that we like looking sexy sometimes when we go out. We don’t only want to do it for you. But there’s a difference between dressing slutty vs classy. Some guys need to understand that. Like the woman in the photo looks classy. If a guy has a problem with that outfit then he’s insecure.
is it really insecurity?
some guys only want to be the one who see their woman's body.
Dare I say, men who are fine with their girlfriends wearing revealing clothes are 'cucks' they are the same type of men that like to watch their women fuck other men.
By your logic, if a woman wants to go out naked or wants to have sex with other men and her boyfriend says no to her, then he's insecure.
This isn't insecurity, it's called having standards and self respect.
No man wants a boe that likes to dress for other guy's attention.
@ThisGuyDucks women always want to be desired because they always want better deal
@Mamamialetmego but when a man desires any other woman other than their girlfriend, behold the hypocritical tantrums and misery thrown your way.
Or maybe we dress up to feel better about ourselves lol. Not everything we do is about men. I wear sexy bras and underwear all the time under my work clothes because it makes me feel confident. I don’t wear it for a man because I’m going to work. I wear sexy dresses and outfits when I go out not because I’m necessarily trying to get a man, but I like looking good.
On conscious level yes, on subconscious level you want male desire. It just human nature don't need to be denied
On conscious level i want to feel confident and look good when i build some muscle also want to get healthy but i can't deny on a deep level i want to be desired and looked by women.
If you dress to feel better about yourself? why do you only dress when you go out? Shouldn't you be dressed in your own home if you're dressing for yourself?
what the fuck?
Why the fuck do women dress casual inside, then?
Lol, I love how men on here are telling me, a woman, that I'm wrong about why I dress the way I do. The egos are insane lol. You can believe what you what, but that's why women dress the way they do. They do it to feel good about themselves. Despite what so many people with penises think, our appearances are not based on our desire to 'please you'. Please get over yourselves.
Hahha but we are telling the truth
If you are only dressing for yourself, then it wouldn't need to be revealing. You can dress up and looking good, without the clothes being revealing. You KNOW that revealing clothes will attract the stares of men. Oh sure, it IS about you, and not them. You don't really care about them... you just care about you... you care that men are looking.
Because we know that guys will stare and if she wears revealing clothes she knows that. So why would she dress in a way that would get looks from other guys when she has someone? I dont want some dude staring at her ass and cleavage that's popping out because it's the girls responsibility to make sure she isn't inviting other guys to look when she has someone.
Yea but the question is if she doesn't dress like that. You can always change your clothes.
If she starts dressing that way I certainly will.
What's wrong with him having an opinion on how you dress?
Either take his advice or don't, if you don't like his opinion, or him having an opinion, then dump him.
You're just passing the buck by trying to say he shouldn't have an opinion in the first place. Well, too late, Toots, it looks like he has one, so NOW WHAT? Now what are you going to do about it?
Something? Something else? Nothing?
The ball is in YOUR court. YOU make a decision now.
I wouldn't date a guy who is possessive and insecure. Oh sure they can check out women when we aren't around and chalk it up to "its just biological " well women loving to dress up is our nature then. Who gives a damn.
Revealing more private, sexual part of your body is an intimate thing.
Her taking it off and showing it all to me, revealing herself is very pleasurable and intimate.
Showing it off for everyone... for other men's pleasure is an offence to me and a breach of intimacy.
I would never stay "upset"... I just would no longer date that type of girl.
This is a silly question. If you are open for attention and relationship you do but now you find a man that you desire why keep getting more extra attention. You need to have balance also we don't go for revealing clothes. I think women die for attention and just her man's attention isn't enough they want always more they always want to be ready for a better deal and knowing that knowledge pisses us off because it doesn't feel like relationship it feels like we are just steps for women to step on. If she has to wear she has to wear beside me but if she wears all the time it looks she's looking for more adventure.
Also would you be okay if i look other beautiful women constantly and if other hot women flirt with me all the time? Would you say okay no problem. Humans are possesive creatures.
Also even a lot of conservative type of girls tried to flirt with me even they had boyfriends. I mean i lost my trust to women. I can fuck hundreds of women but sometimes you need relationship and now days it's impossible.
My boyfriend encourages me to wear revealing clothes when we go out for fun since he likes staring at me. I don’t always but he doesn’t care. That’s not all guys.
Hmmm. If she was single and dressed provocatively to attract men to approach her why would she want to dress like that now. It would bother me. Dressing sexy is a different matter entirely. To me dressing sexy and dressing provocatively are two very different things.
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