Why do men get upset when their girlfriends wear revealing clothes?

[desidoll]

I want to emphasize here that these men approached their gf's while she was dressing provocatively. Isn't it hypocritical to ask her to change the way she dresses just because you are with her now. This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship.

If I knew a guy is a smoker before I jump into a relationship with him, I can't expect him to change just for me which is why I don't date them. The same thing goes for the clothing issue. If a man doesn't like his partner to dress certain ways, get a girl who dresses modestly.

[CubsterShura]

Men know what goes on to other men's minds. I mean, he himself literally approached you when you were wearing something revealing but he's not comfortable with other guys doing that when you're with him. But I agree, its very, very hypocritical. I mean, I find no point in a guy even being with a girl despite being aware how she dresses.

I'm on the opposite end, dress quite conservatively, don't even wanna kiss a guy or show him any extra inch of skin unless he marries me. It would be pretty absurd if my boyfriend was mad that I don't send him nudes when I make my stance quite clear, vocal and strong about my stance on this matter at all times. I actually had an ex who made me feel terrible about not sending him nudes but I'm a happier person when I look back and know that I didn't let him weaken me. Absolutely no one has any right to my body.

[desidoll]

Well put. If you have made it clear about your stance, he shouldn't try changing you. If you notice most of the guys' opinions here, they have no problem approaching women who dress like that but they expect her to change once she is with them.

[CubsterShura]

They probably wouldn't even notice you if you weren't dressed in something revealing in the first place 😂 but hey, we can't really change these people but just be vocal about our stance from the beginning so that later on they have no scope to make you feel bad about yourself for not doing whatever they would want you to do.

[desidoll]

Your first sentence made my day 🤣

[CubsterShura]

Honesty is the best policy ✌️

[Korand]

That's insensitive but okay

[Korand]

Commented on wrong post, my apologies

[Sabretooth]

It also shows a lack of self-respect

[Korand]

Oh wait no it was the right post, I take my apology back. @ChubsterShura your insensitive.

[CubsterShura]

@Korand why? Because I don't let dudes weaken me so that later y'all can call me a dumb bimbo for giving in to a guy? I'd much rather be insensitive 😊

[CubsterShura]

@desidoll can't be sensitive can't be insensitive either 😭

[CubsterShura]

Thanks for MHO!

[desidoll]

Anytime 😊

[VIVANT]

Honestly if they met her dressed that way , they should inquire as to whether this is her •guy getting get up•

OR just her style that she intends to continue with it relationship or no. Then make the decision accordingly as to whether or not to Persuse.

Clothing is an art firm for many people and you don’t get to decide why they are dressed that way nor can you control it. Instead of being megalomaniac and expecting the world to adapt to your preference, Date someone who dresses the way you like. See a sexy dress , abort mission. Got for the girl in slacks and sensible shoes. 🤷‍♀️

[desidoll]

Like CubsterShura said they probably won't even notice a girl wearing a slacks lol 😂

[VIVANT]

They have some soul searching to do 😎😉

[winterfox10]

I get where you are coming from, but it's a male-psychology thing.

The big difference is that when we approached our girlfriend, she was single, or allegedly single, and advertising. When a woman wears revealing clothing, she is advertising. Even if she doesn't want the attention. Even if she would get the attention while dressed modestly; by wearing revealing clothing when she is with us, she's showing off the goods. In a man's mind, when his girl is wearing revealing clothing, it's like posting up a "For Sale" sign in front of his house. If the house isn't actually for sale, how are you gonna get mad when people hit you up about your house when you put a sign out in the front?

[Oram52]

Completely agree. All of a sudden these guys become possessive. I love when my girlfriend dresses sexy. So I don't have any problems with girls being provocative or sexy. Why wouldn't I love that.

These guys who suddenly start complaining do they check out other girls who dress sexy while wanting their girlfriend to dress "modestly". Hence my point would you rather he still has his eyes on you instead of wandering and checking other girls out. That's why you should continue to dress sexy.

I agree with you you got what you saw. What's the problem? She's wearing the same kind of clothes she was wearing when you guys met.

[Oram52]

Thanks for MHO.

[desidoll]

Welcome.

[Oram52]

@Sabretooth
@OlderAndWiser blocked me so just replying here. I wasn't calling you a rapist. Was just making a point. Stark difference between leering, catcalling and sexual assault.

[CherryRoseChampange]

I don't know for sure, but one of my dates before my SO told me he didn't like women dressing revealing because he found it tasteless, insecure, trashy and attention seeking.

I personally, think revealing clothes are fine. There's just a place and time for that kind if stuff. If you wear revealing clothes for every occasion that might be doing too much. If you're partying/having fun with your friends or SO I don't see the problem.

[Big_pipe_line51]

Exactly, but if thats her why of dress cuz thats just how she want to dress (im not sayn this is what your sayn but) that dont mean she's "tasteless","insecure ", or an "attention seeker"shit the bitch is probably just living her best life to the fullest just how she want &thats just how she want to do it

[Goodwifie]

Now I know that my days off wearing short skirts and dresses are over but I'm not going to start dressing like Mother Teresa just because I'm married.
What looks sexy is just an opinion.
I can wear something nice out and get looks. My husband would never make me feel bad about it and or tell me to change.

[VIVANT]

Why no more short skirts? So you think they are inappropriate?

I’m always getting different responses to this lol but I think it’s better to ask women bc men have other reasons for saying it’s fine 😊

[Red_Arrow]

I know women considerably older than you who still look great in short skirts and dresses, and they know it. You probably look a lot better than you think.

[VIVANT]

@Red_Arrow

I agree though I am not sure she meant bc she thought she looked bad or bc she thought it inappropriate for marriage

But yeah people wear skirt skirts and look good in any ages.

[Red_Arrow]

@VIVANT - I see many married women wearing short skirts and dresses, and they are very proper women. But that may be how she meant it. Bad that she feels limited for whatever reason.

[VIVANT]

@Red_Arrow

I’m eating to hear the verdict. I agree in both of should be ok in marriage and age shouldn’t affect skirts..

I really think the intent counts for a lot.
😊

[Red_Arrow]

@VIVANT - I hope you mean waiting not eating. :-)

[VIVANT]

@Red_Arrow

😂 yes the former 😌😊😊

[Goodwifie]

I just don't want to wear mini skirts/dresses and and hot pants anymore.
In 2000 Kylie Minogue made hot pants fashionable again with her release of the music video "Spining Around" I was 22.
I don't limit myself as to what I can wear neither does my husband.
I'll still wear crop tops to the gym and bikinis on the beach I don't really care what others think.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you need to advertise what you got if it's not on the market?

[Pinky_what_why]

Damn

[Grobmate]

@OlderAndWiser Well said!!

[desidoll]

I never know that ALL women who wear sexy clothes are advertising themselves. Sure there are some who wear like that for attention but as a woman myself, I know there are many other women who just enjoy looking hot. If she is advertising herself, why would she wear like that in public when he is with her? Unless she wears like that alone, then I can see why is it a form of advertising.

[Oram52]

In what way is she advertising? Would his eyes be wandering when he'd expect his girlfriend to be "modest"?
I can simply rephrase why all of a sudden you feel threatened by her being sexy?

[Goodwifie]

@Oram52 👍👍👍👍

[DonCachondo]

That just makes you an annoying tease lol :P

[Pinky_what_why]

@DonCachondo lmao I can't 💀💀💀💀

[Sabretooth]

Results the same-it's like taking a nice steak into a poor area and leaving to go to the bathroom-expecting no one to eat it.

[Goodwifie]

@Sabretooth You're really putting men down by saying that they have no self control.

[Sabretooth]

@Goodwifie i'm just realistic. some do-many don't-it's a risk you take.

[Goodwifie]

@Sabretooth that sounds really rapey dude, have ever rapped a woman?
You sound like a rapist because any decent guy can look and keep his hands to himself.

[Sabretooth]

@Goodwifie lol. no, i'm not.

[Oram52]

@Sabretooth Its the risk you take? So what about women who are completely covered? What about your mother sister (likely don't have a gf), what about them? Should they be "taking" risk?

No one is responsible but the individual themselves. That is rapey indeed. She can be completely naked you keep your hands and dick to yourself.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Oram52 Telling people to take precautions against crime does not mean that we are absolving the criminal of responsibility for their actions. If someone breaks into a house, they are responsible for committing burglary. However, you lock your house at night and when you are gone. . . right? Why? You have the right to leave your house unlocked and expect that no one will make any unauthorized entry!

[Oram52]

Human Being vs Property.
Car is a property we lock it, so it wouldn't get stolen. If I am at a bar and I say something rude to a person and he punches me he's charged. He has no right to violate my individual rights hence use violence even if I swore or said something rude.

What an individual wears is NO invitation to violate their individual rights and be exposed to any sort of violence. Doing so absolves the culprit of responsibility and puts the blame on the victim, which creates environment and culture where these things become even more prevalent. It in turn makes our sisters, mothers, female friends even less safe.

Clothing makes no difference otherwise women wouldn't be sexually assaulted in winter when they are covered head to toe. Putting the blame on women they cover up so they wouln't be sexually assaulted does the opposite, and makes such abuse more common, its women that are blamed and NOT the culprit.

An individual can wear whatever they want, you TELL sickos and culprits keep your hands off not put such responsibility back on women. Which counter-intuitive and simply makes it more prevalent. There were cultures wear women are topless yet men don't go around assaulting women. What about hot weather should women wear a burka? Women wear bikinis on beach should they stop doing so in case they are inviting men to assault them?

Not to mention it reflects very poorly on us men, that we are animals and can't control ourselves? Women are not properties. They should require NO precautions at all in what they were. Put the emphasize, blame, responsibility solely on men advocating such heinous views.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Oram52 Wrong! Telling someone to exercise cautions for their own safety and anticipate that every citizen does not follow the law does not absolve criminals for their behavior. If you had a 13 year old daughter, would you allow her to go outside and play unsupervised with the neighborhood boys if she was not wearing any clothing?

[Oram52]

"Wrong! Telling someone to exercise cautions for their own safety and anticipate that every citizen does not follow the law does not absolve criminals for their behavior."

You're a lawyer right?
You wouldn't leave 13 year old unsupervised regardless. So you as a lawyer are saying women should cover up so they shouldn't be assaulted or raped? Take precautions because you don't know who you might face so take precautions?

So by exact same logic, say you were wearing t-shirt and shorts. Someone gay sees you, as you were "enticing" him it'll be ok for someone gay to sexually assault worse rape you? As you're the one to blame you didn't take precautions and were enticing him?

Again you seem to be AS A LAWYER unable to differentiate between a property and a human being.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Oram52 Yes, I am a lawyer. No need to ask repeatedly. As an attorney, I understand that responsibility is not a monolithic concept. Responsibility for an event can be shared by two or more separate entities. If you leave your car unlocked and the keys in the ignition and it is subsequently stolen by a juvenile who wanted a quick joy ride, the car thief bears sole criminal responsibility for their actions. . . but you could have avoided this occurrence entirely by not leaving the keys in the car.

I know that you want to avoid the idea that some clothing might be seen as provocative but that is your issue. Why do girls post pictures of some outfit they plan to wear to an event and ask, "Is this sexy?" Is the answer, "No, nothing is sexy because revealing clothing never elicits any sexual interest in any male?" Do you live in a world founded on denial?

" it'll be ok for someone gay to sexually assault worse rape you?" Where in the fuck did you come up with that nonsense? You are just creating fiction so you will have something to criticize, being a might warrior slaying a fictional dragon. If I said it is okay for anyone to commit a rape, please show me where I said that, Mr. Keyboard Warrior!

"Again you seem to be AS A LAWYER unable to differentiate between a property and a human being." What? I merely used locking your doors as an example of taking reasonable precautions in anticipating the possible occurrence of criminal activity.

Don't bother me any more with this nonsense!

[Oram52]

Merely replying to your comment.

Responsibility for sexual assault and rape does NOT have to be taken by both parties, yes as you being a lawyer I find it reprehensible. As I've stated repeatedly above it does the opposite and makes women even more unsafe where culture or society puts the blame on women, women don't have to bear any responsibility, they WEREN'T asking to be assaulted or raped no matter what they were wearing.

You seem to have missed my point about someone gay. So would it be ok for someone gay to sexually assault or rape you or me because we were wearing t-shirt and shorts?

You're the one unable to distinguish between locked door and a human being. It is exactly such attitudes that assaults or rape against women went unchecked, what "metoo" movement at least was suppose to be about.

If I was to make such comments my mum would be appalled.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Oram52 I asked you to not reply with any more of your nonsense. Go show mommy what a good keyboard warrior you are.

[Sabretooth]

@Oram52 I'm no rapist-both my aunt were raped-and I don't appreciate the accusations-and you beat be mindful before you make such accusations in the future. A woman who wears revealing cloth will draw attention-sexual attention-I wouldn't act on it-but, any idiot would know she's at least gonna get leared at. This is the real world

[Goodwifie]

I was 15 when my brothers fiances father touched me inappropriately, I was wearing a T-shirt and baggy jeans.
I was 19 when a guy walked up beside me after I got off the train and said that if he had his mates with him I'd be in trouble because him and his mates would rape me. I was wearing a long black ankle length dress with shoestring straps with no cleavage showing.
I remember these moments because they are just so bloody hard to forget.
I've also been grab by men while at work in my pharmacy uniform and I can tell you that there is nothing sexy about my uniform.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Goodwifie I do not excuse the behavior of any man who acts like that. They should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and if I was a witness to such behavior, I would gladly cooperate. I know that most rapes are not motivated by the way a woman is dressed. However, there are some guys who get aroused by seeing a woman scantily clad. And women who are dressed that way are trying to elicit a sexual response. How often do we read questions asking, "Is this a sexy outfit?" Yes, clothing can elicit a sexual response.

If you know that not all men behave appropriately, why would you want to take a a chance on something that can have such grave consequences? So many people "a girl should be able to walk down the street naked and not get raped." I agree, but what they are describing is an ideal world in which we do not live. We live in that imperfect world where bad things happen. If I had a 14 year old daughter, should I tell her that it's okay to go to the park naked? Of course not. And if she got assaulted, I wouldn't blame her; I'd go kill the son of a bitch.

I am sorry that you have had those experiences and my comments on this subject are never directed at any specific person. But I will persist in saying that if the possibility of illegal behavior can be anticipated, reasonable precautions should be taken.

[Sabretooth]

@Goodwifie i think i speak for OlderAndWiser when i say this. we're not saying that such things don't happen-we're saying it adds to the risk.

[Goodwifie]

@Sabretooth no it doesn't.
Assholes will be assholes no matter what it doesn't matter what she's wearing.

[Goodwifie]

Dressed not naked that's stupid.

[Grobmate]

@Goodwifie actually the likelihood of consequences arising from those soulless immoral arseholes increases. Yes they will always be arseholes, (no brainer). However the likelihood of exposure to harm from the arsehole can indeed be lessened. That is basic risk management.

[Sabretooth]

@Goodwifie yes, it does, it all comes back to my example with the steak-by the time you return-they're be a blood bath.

[Goodwifie]

@Sabretooth so men are Neanderthals and can't help themselves?

[Grobmate]

@Goodwifie no.. the perpetrators of violent crime, (both male and female) are Neanderthals.

[Sabretooth]

@Goodwifie no, but many lack the morals and maturity to try.

[Pinky_what_why]

OMG this debate is never gonna end 😣

[OlderAndWiser]

@Pinky_what_why Yes, and it all began because I said that if a girl is in a relationship with a guy, she does need to be showing the other guys what she's got! And that's ALL that I meant by that comment but folks seem to have gotten riled up a bit!

[Pinky_what_why]

Lmao I got what u meant that's why I said damn cause it just made me rethink how to dress.

[MzAsh]

Guys who do that know they are low value and risk some other guy chatting her up and eventually getting left by her for that other guy.

[Apope16]

I dont. I like my girlfriend sexy and others jealous

[EmbraceThePain]

Well, it’s because men understand the intentions and type of attention when it comes to a woman wearing revealing or provocative clothing. For example, I would find it hard to believe that a man wouldn’t find a woman who is wearing something revealing or sexually provocative to be attractive. Even though this is the case, that doesn’t mean that this same man would want or feel comfortable with his wife, girlfriend, or daughter to go out wearing such clothing. I don’t feel comfortable knowing that other men are ogling at my loved ones while they’re wearing these types of clothing, and perhaps trying to flirt or touch them as well. Also, you can question the character or personality of the woman who would want to wear something that is revealing or sexually provocative while she has a boyfriend or husband. I also, along with many men I’m sure, like the idea that my girlfriend or wife only shows those parts of her body to me because I’m someone special to her, rather than flaunting it freely or openly without discrimination, every time she goes out.

[desidoll]

I get what you mean. The issue here is why did the guy approach her at the first place, knowing how she dresses? He obviously loved what he saw but expect her to change just for him. It is so much easier for him to just get a modest girl rather than stay in a relationship where he feels uncomfortable with his gf's clothing all the time.

[EmbraceThePain]

Well, the two situations are different. In my opinion, it’s okay for a woman to wear whatever clothing she wants when she’s single, if she wants to feel sexy, attract attention, and is comfortable wearing these clothes. This doesn’t mean she is actually sexually promiscuous or anything like that. Now, once she has a man, the situation changes. I don’t think it’s right for her to wear such clothes if her man expresses discomfort in her wearing them; it’s not necessarily insecurity on the man’s part. I know she doesn’t have to listen to me and can choose to do whatever she wants, so if that’s the case then I’d just leave her on the spot. I don’t think many men are necessarily insecure, which is the reason why they don’t want their woman wearing such revealing or sexually provocative clothing, I just think it’s natural to not want other men to sexually target, harass, assault, flirt, etc. with someone who you love. It’s a primal and natural thing.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Alright I think first you have to take time to figure out what clothes you have he thinks is revealing.. have him pick out the clothes he doesn't feel comfortable with you wearing when your not around him... revealing can mean wearing a tank top to having your breasts completely exposed people have different opinions on it.. for me personally I never wore short shorts outside in public till this year you can hardly find longer shorts.. its too hot for pants use to only wear them around the house.. but I do a bend test is I can bend over and see my underwear in the mirror I know not out in public.. or bend over and see completely down my shirt.. I think he cares for you and only wants to be the one your wearing certain clothes for.. WANTING TO LOOK GOOD AND WEAR CLOTHES THAT ARE TASTEFUL DOES NOT MEAN YOUR TRYING TO ATTRACT OTHER MEN! I hate it how people assume that.. when you look good you get better service in public! Like check out at a grocery store or waitress.. people are friendlier to you! Figure out what he thinks you shouldn't be wearing and go from there.. if you dont think something is too revealing but he does ask him why.. figure out why he's thinking what he's thinking..

[pineappleorange]

Well, there's two kinds of "looking good"... there's classy:


and then there's Trashy:
cleavage-n-downblouse.tumblr.com/post/171844933816

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Exactly!

[Grobmate]

When he met her she would have been dressing provocatively to attract a guy like him... how is it hypocritical for him to want her not to now the she no longer needs to attract a guy anymore? unless she is a hypergamy toting tunnel gutted player looking to "upgrade".. then she has no reason to...

"This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship."

Yes... 🤷‍♂️ no brainer here. Why would she feel the need to seek validation and admiration from other Males if she already has one unless she is a hypergamy toting tunnel gutted thot seeking to "upgrade".

If you knew he was a smoker, and that is a deal-breaker for you then you could of.. hmm.. not got with him to begin with.

In anycase, you can't compare a drug addiction (smoking) to being slutty. That makes no sense.

"get a girl who dresses modestly". Yes.. most smart Men do indeed. Hence all the anger on GAG from thots.. how dare Men have standards too!🙄

[desidoll]

You know what is the easiest solution? Get a girl who wears baggy blouse with black slacks 🙄

[Grobmate]

I've already got a woman who is a lady in the street. I showed her the question and she almost fell of her chair laughing.

[desidoll]

You can't handle a bad bitch, so both of you are meant for each other.

[Grobmate]

Devorce court says no Man can handle a bad bitch.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anything I wear is too revealing anyway. If I wear a very short tight dress, it's probably long sleeved and high necked. I would not show off everything as once, it's just not my thing. I think I pretty reasonable, and so if a man ever had a problem with the way I dressed I'd be pretty surprised. I mean, I might wear more revealing things in private (like my underwear) but without offending any of the men here, I think it shows a sign of insecurity on the man's part. Like what am I supposed to wear to the beach? A wetsuit?

More on the insecurity thing, I'll explain. If my boyfriend walks around shirtless on the beach, and there are a bunch of girls checking him out, to me, that would just be confirmation of how gorg he is and I wouldn't be all possessive over him because I know that he doesn't give a shit about any of those girls. I know it's slightly different for me, because girls can be at risk of more dangerous things. So if I was wearing a super revealing dress, which I never really do, he'd stay with me.

[Anonymous]

Your complaint is very troubling: "Isn't it hypocritical to ask her to change the way she dresses just because you are with her now. This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship".

Are you saying that you should be free to try and attract/flirt with other guys even though you're in a relationship? Your position allows someone to make the argument that they should be allowed to sleep with other people even if they're married/in a relationship.
Like @pineappleorange said: the key word is "provocatively". If your goal is to get attention from other men by the way you dress. You should either encourage your boyfriend to give his attention to other girls, or leave him so you can enjoy the attention from other guys.
I don't see anything wrong with dressing sexy when going out with your boyfriend; as long as you're not giving other guys reason to doubt that you're with him (i. e. you're letting him show you off). We all have responsibilities when we're in relationships. People who understand this either commit fully or stay single. Choose! It's unfair of you to try to eat your cake and have it too.

Also: changing for, and expecting a partner to change for you in certain ways is not wrong either. But that's a discussion for another time.

[tzdc21]

I absolutely agree. That's like saying that I can flirt with other girls now that I'm in a relationship with you, or continue to go to strip clubs, because that's what I did when I was single, and you shouldn't get mad at that. It's ridiculous. There are things you should not do when you're in a relationship that you could get away with when you were single.

[pineappleorange]

Your example and your way of thinking is ENTIRELY and UTTERLY WRONG.

The keyword here is PROVOCATIVE, which means:

pro·voc·a·tive = arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately.

"I want to emphasize here that these men approached their gf's while she was dressing provocatively. Isn't it hypocritical to ask her to change the way she dresses just because you are with her now. This indicates that you don't want her to get the attention from some guys like you since that is the reason why you were attracted to her before you guys decided to get into a relationship."

Dressing provocatively is what BOTH GENDERS DO when THEY ARE SINGLE because they are "arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately" in order to find a partner.

Once you have found a partner, it is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE to continue this type of behavior.

Smoking, in modern times, is not PROVOCATIVE behavior. It's unhealthy and unattractive.

Therefore, your comparison is 100% WRONG.

[Pinky_what_why]

U pressed no need to be stressed

[pineappleorange]

@Pinky_what_why What does that even mean?

[Pinky_what_why]

So like u was kinda angry when u was on the topic and you were stressing ur point I could tell by how u delivered ur point. That's all.

[Thomas_Shelby]

No it’s not hypocritical of a guy to ask you to change your clothing. What is hypocritical is asking her to change her clothing but refusing any requests related to such.

When a girl becomes a guy’s girlfriend, he’ll start to get possessive of her, he’ll want to shelter, protect and care for her. This is similar to how he might act with his little sister. Personally I hate it when my sister wears revealing clothing, but revealing clothing is designed to get sexual attention from men, that’s a fact. So when I see that a girl is wearing such provocative clothing, it sends a message to me that she doesn’t mine getting attention from guys.

Naturally, the boyfriend won’t want this, he’ll want her all to her own, which is fine and all until the issue starts to get in the way of their happiness. Personally I don’t mind it as long as I know that my girl is loyal and strong/tough. If she’s a little loose on her principles (I’ll probably be dumping her soon if that’s the case) then I might suggest wearing more “neutral” clothing

[CubsterShura]

And where do men's protective nature go when a woman unintentionally gets pregnant?

[Thomas_Shelby]

@CubsterShura some go out the window, some grow even stronger.
If a guy is already very protective/caring if the girl, then the more likely he is to have a positive reaction to a pregnancy. Think about it: if a guy loves a girl, wants to treat her and take care of her, he’s doing that because his instinct is to love and care for the mother of his children, because he sees that she could mother his children, and he’ll want to nurture her and take care of her so his children can be loved and nurtured.

But if the man doesn’t see the qualities in a woman that he looks for, i. e he just wants to bang her and isn’t interested in a serious/long term relationship, then of course he’s going to respond very negatively when hears of a pregnancy. “Whoops, this was fun and all but I’m not here for this, have fun with raising the kid, but you’re not the one I love” is the general idea of the guy as he leaves her. That or he’s just too afraid to accept the responsibilities of being a father; in which case he’s not mature enough yet.

[CubsterShura]

Fair enough. A lot of guys just scream about their protective nature unless the time comes when they really need to step forward and finally really the protecting role.

[CubsterShura]

Finally take*

[JimRSmith]

This man doesn't.

I think it's mainly insecurity. They assume she's dressing to attract other men, that they're not good enough, take your pick. There's a fundamental lack of understanding that she might be dressing either for him, or for herself.

[desidoll]

Good thing my fiance is like you. I ask this because I have seen many guys like this, like my friends' boyfriends.

[Goodwifie]

I think sometimes passive and controlling behavior can be mistaken for being insecure.
There's some really terrible opinions from the guys on here.

[Anonymous]

I see your point and partially agree with you. Ofc nobody shouldn't force their partner to change anything just because they want it. Especially things that already was visible. Because those things you kinda already accepted when getting into the relationship... however...

The action of dressing up in sexy and revieling clothing signals things like "I'm free to take"... any man or woman knows that. And when you are in a relationship you are not free to take unless you have an open relationship. So maybe put on a few grams more fabric than when you were single... I don't think the man suggests you look like a nun.

The only examples of this I have seen or heard of are difficult to take you opinion on... because in those cases the outfit the girl wore literally fitted a stripper.. and that is really not justifiable... maybe at home alone with your partner... but not even on the garden.

And now we also have to touch the topic about "I don't wear it to impress boys/girls. I wear it only for myself, it's comfortable"... NO... No... that is so much BS. Nobody in the entire world wears anything outside of their home only "for themselves" because then 99% of people would wear sweaters and crocs... We can wear something mostly for ourselves yes... but we always take other people's opinion into account when dressing ourselves to leave the house... that's just how it is. But that is fine.

And finally... comparing this to smoking isn't really possible. Smoking is in most cases an addiction AND 99% of people would probably TRY to stop if their partner asked them to. And it seems to be quite socially acceptable to start a relationship with a smoker and then ask them to stop, because I know a lot of relationships where this happened... with mixed results. So why would it be wrong for a man, or woman, to ask their partner to maybe cover more than 0,2% of their body with clothes?

[Porcelaine]

''I want to emphasize here that these men approached their gf's while she was dressing provocatively'' a lot of men think that girls wear those kind of clothes in order to attract a man, so when they get into a relationship and already attracted the man they are with, the revealing clothes served their purpose and now they should only show their sexuality to the man they are with. :D they dont realize that most girls who dress like that simply enjoy feeling sexy, so unless this choice of clothing starts AFTER the relationship they dont have the right to demand a change of style. Especially since most men who demand this after they get into a relationship continue to look at other girls who are dressed sexy.

[ChronicThinker]

See, I have a few feelings about this. I agree, if you knew that was your girl's style before getting with her, you can't instantly take control of how she dresses just because you decided you were insecure.

However, I don't think it's unfair for a guy to voice his opinion about his woman's clothes. Sure, maybe she dressed kinda sexy before, but then one day decided she wanted to "try a new style" that was SO REVEALING that her titties are out and her nipples are showing. I think he has a right to say: "Hey, I really don't want the entire world to see your fucking titties, holy shit."

I think context is what matters here.

[Anonymous]

Speaking from experience, it's a reflection of the guys own inadequacies and insecurities. They become jealous when other men look at their girlfriend. So they try to change her to feel more confident within themselves. They disregard the affect their behaviour has on their girlfriend.. which shows he has issues. I couldn't be with a guy who was jealous and had issues like that. Eventually, that type of relationship turns toxic and controlling. It also has the potential of becoming an abusive relationship.

[Ripper_E]

The thing is that things change when you are in a committed relationship. You should never change who you are, but things do change. If your boyfriend approached you when you were wearing revealing clothes, that is NOT the same thing as another man doing it because it's another man. By that logic, if you were sleeping around when he met you then you should continue sleeping around when you are with him. Why would a guy want other men approaching his woman? That doesn't make any sense. Smoking has nothing to do with other people.

I get what you are saying. It's like if you have friends of the opposite sex, you don't just kick them to the curb when you are in a relationship. That's unreasonable.

[desidoll]

I don't think promiscuity is comparable in this scenario because obviously it is a form of cheating while dressing provocatively isn't.

[Ripper_E]

I was using that like you used smoking. It has nothing to do with other people. No man would be sitting at home wondering if you are smoking. It's comparable in that it is something you are doing while you are single. There are many things people do while they are single that they stop once in a relationship. You are entitled to do whatever you want, but you can't be in a relationship and just be like "I do what I want," because it's no longer just about you.

Smoking is something that you should know immediately, unless it's a habit they pick up afterwards. Promiscuity isn't cheating when you are single, and that's the point. It is no longer just about you. It can be, but that relationship won't last. Flirting can be cheating, depending on what you view as cheating, but it's also provocative.

[TripleAce]

A couple of reasons i guess
1. We know it attracted us so we dont want other guys attracted to her. We know she’s hot. So if she dresses to impress often we know other guys will find her hot and go for her. More guys that go for her the higher the chance she might leave us for him

2. Sometimes guys feel that revealing clothes is to attract a mate. So now that you have one there isn't a need to attract men. Cause you are taken. Almost like going out to clubs. Generally single people go

I should add im not one of those guys. I like her looking sexy and i dont mind if guys look lol but those are the reasons why i think guys do mind or why i would mind if that was the casE. You’re sexy, clearly lol so your guy is probably worried

[TripleAce]

A 3rd reason i forgot

3. They want you to only be and show sexiness to them. So some men become possessive. They only want you to be sexy with them now you are wjth them. They feel you should be a good girl and only be like tbat with them lol

[Tiffanykells]

If a girl likes her fashion makeup and hair she's somehow flaunting it. If she likes to feel good about herself wearing figure hugging outfits she's asking for it. And on a night out she's got the hair piece in, big fake eyelashes on and fake tan done oh well then she's a slut!. Finally with the mini dress or skirt on with 4" heels and feeling super good she's a prostitute 😤😤😤😤 If a guy wants a plain Jane dressed like a sleeping bag good for him. You dont make corn beef with a sirloin steak now do you 👑👑😘😘