My boyfriend is financially unstable. He can't afford to have a girlfriend or wife. Should I leave him?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I was very financially unstable when I was in my early 20s (no parents, no job, no nothing), after that I got pretty stable and now I have like 4-5 times the income of the average person in my country. Some people consider me rich. I'm not rich, but, ya, stable. The time of instability was very sad and stressful for me but I decided that I should become stable and managed to reach that by working on two jobs and studying on the same time for a year and a half. 15 h per day I was working to achieve that. Now I... do not feel happy. I spend all my money on alcohol and fun just to cover the stress and survive. Yes, old me can not pay for clubs 3-5 times per week, drink a bottle per day, know famous folks and even have nights with models and playboy bunnies. New me can, but its not even interesting. I was happier with my ex girlfriend in the in the ghetto home, making love on our "1 person" bed, hearing all the ghetto ppls music and and noisy weddings. Ya, they were dengerous even. We knew. But we were together. Just 1 room, crazy neighbours who never stop the music, we were not even able to sleep well. And I did IT! I made money and if I'm emotionally stable, now I can make much, much more money, but I'm not. Love is not money, de*m! Understand it! You love this person, or not. I was in the gutter. Had no money, but a wonderful love and girlfriend... we were not able to even buy cloths and proper meal. Now I have a LOT more and I'm broken man. Happiness and love are not money, understand? You can't buy your dream girl with all the money. I want to - I can not. I would give money for that, ya I will, but I can't. Just know that. You love a person, or you do not and its not about money. Know that... when you make all this money, you can not buy this person or an equivalent. Never. F****** money. They are just a tool. Hug love. Love is more. You love him, or you don't!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

More context. Does he have a job? What kind? What is his motivation?

I went through a rough patch a few years ago. I quit my job and did side work to pursue a hobby. The girl I dated was enamored with my hobby (mma fighting) but she was very straight laced and more responsible than me. She had more money even though she was younger.

Long story short she was more financially stable than me and it BOTHERED me. Although she didn’t complain. I ended up self sabotaging the relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

To all the people that say it's totally shallow to break up over something like this, my friend married "this guy" and for 10 years he squandered every cent they had, ran through their kids college fund, and their marriage ended in him not being able to help pay for their house which ultimately led to her filing for bankruptcy. There is a difference between someone struggling BUT working hard to improve their situation and someone who even if they get a windfall, immediately squanders it or doesn't know how to say the words, "I can't afford this right now," or "I need to work on saving. In a relationship, you want a partner who can take care of their half of things and if they can't do that, keep in mind, it's going to be all on you. I would suggest you work with him first to see if he can see a financial planner or work with him to get his finances in order and if he resists or doesn't do anything to improve, or worse, gets worse, it's time to go.

sejla · Accepted Answer

what do you like about him?

I knew a couple who lived in a garage when they were college students. Later on he made a lot of money in business and they had a pretty decent life. It doesn't turn out like that for everyone. I have another friend whose husband started out working in a box company and then started training himself in computers as well as getting jobs were he could get additional training. He now manager at an American based Japanese technology company.

You have to decide is he a good enough person that you want to stay with him.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Stop Enabling him if you are Here, Dear, Tell him to either get a Job to Help Support himself or One, Hun, Where you don't have to do all of the Supporting. Other that That, It is a Losing battle. You Decide if you wWsh to take this Ride. xx

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on what you want to do.
If you want something permanent, and he isn’t improving, then leave. If he is living in a unhygienic and poor environment, leave. If he can’t even provide for himself, or if he’s settling, then leave.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Have you tried to help him to become more financially stable?

curiousnorway · Answer

If he's lazy, abusive and doesn't want to work, you should leave him. If he just has health problems that doesn't make the relationship toxic or abusive, can't find a job or just has been unfortunate, it would be a shallow reason to leave.

Love and relationship should be based on personality, kindness, respect etc. In my opinion. I think looks also matter, but economy doesn't matter as much. It may be problematic if he's gambling, using it on booze or if you can't have children because of that - but apart from that I don't see that as a big deal.

Maybe we've just different opinions. I'm a bit shallow myself. I wouldn't have any problems dating a dirty poor if she was beautiful. Bad circumstances happens to everyone and I understand people struggling economically. I still values sex and beauty.

EpicDweeb · Answer

The promise of "for richer for poorer" comes at marriage, not before. Use this time to assess what kind of person he is. Is he hard working? Does he put in the effort to get himself where he needs to be? I wouldn't say to leave him at the moment but gauge just how he responds to the situation. Is he striving to be more responsible? Is he being productive? Or is he lazing around on the couch all day watching Netflix? I wouldn't say you have to leave him either way, just don't go pursuing marriage with him unless/until he's clearly a bit more stable and is making the effort to continue being so.

Amaoctober · Answer

Money comes and goes at any time, but a good partner is hard to find. You know, for better or worse must be practiced even in boyfriends and girlfriends levels. So I would say that it depends entirely on you, if you love money that much, yes leave him, but if you are stable with money, give it a chance, he will come around. No one was born poor and will die poor. It takes only the right directions. And he will see it one day. It is painful, you leave him today and the door for riches opens up next day. I would say maybe you were not meant and you were standing in his way, that happens in life. We really never know and understand this life, but it's your call.

Exterminatore · Answer

Financially unstable as in fiscally irresponsible or working a looser job for looser income and completely content with that - leave him.

Financially unstable due to not making much but he’s working hard to do better and find opportunities and grow in his career and manages what little he has well - still leave because if that the situation then you’re a gold digging whore and you leaving is a favor to him so he can be with someone whose worth it.

My boyfriend is financially unstable. He can't afford to have a girlfriend or wife. Should I leave him?

Anonymous · Answer

Can't afford to have a wife? Huh? Why can't the wife or girlfriend grow the hell up and get a job of her own? Its statistically easier for a women to get a job in today's work force. Women HR managers are biased against hiring men if there's a female choice and this is celebrated amongst those circles! Is the guy trying his best? Then give him a break and come back to reality. If your going to dump him becouse he's lowerclass then don't kid yourself as to your base nature. Now if he's lazy and doesn't try then yeah, move on...

markscott · Answer

A guy should not consider having a wife is he is financially unstable. He needs to get his finances in good order, before thinking of getting married. If he can't manage his fiances when single, how is he ever going to manage them with the added expenses of being married? And possibly having children!

The1Guy · Answer

How about setting a boundary, an incentive and reward system. Starting fom little things. If he does or does not follow through with a finantial resmonsibility, then no sex today. Something like that.

If you like him, teach him to be the man you want. A woman is the best teacher for a man. If she is able to do this.

However this will only work if he recognizes the problem and agrees to the incentive sysem.

sagevvalentine · Answer

I think it depends on how much you like him and what stage of your life you're in. If he's in his twenties then it's not such a big deal, but if he's in 30s and wants a family etc then you should talk to him about it. Maybe this is a hard time for him.

Ceasar97 · Answer

How is he financially unstable? Does he gamble or just in college? Does he waste money ir not have a job? If you leave him because he doesn't have money then that is shallow and foolish. If you leave him because he can't keep money and lacks any prospects then you are intelligent.
So which one is it?

slatyb · Answer

Why is he financially unstable? Is he irresponsible with money, or did he just come from a family with little and is struggling to get started? How much money does he need to have a girlfriend or a wife? Two people living together is less expensive than two people living alone.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

if it's a new relationship than yes, if you have been with him a while to he help you through hard times do you owe something to him? Why is he financially unstable? Is it a divorce or someone forcing hardship or is he just lazy? I think we need a little more info

Anonymous · Answer

Wait, wait, wait. Women are not hired for a position in a relationship with a man I mean there are certain women who sell themselves for a certain time period, but they are called whores and they aren't in a romantic relationship with a guy who hired them.
On the other hand, if a guy does not want to get a job for an extended period of time, in that case i don't know why are you involved with him in the first place. If he can't find a job, but is looking for it, then you should consider helping him find it instead.

Ellie-V · Answer

Well if he can’t afford to have a girlfriend or wife, that would mean he’d have to buy them. If your price is too steep for him, you should try directing him to a cheaper market.

Anonymous · Answer

What do you mean he can’t afford to have a girlfriend or wife?

I’m not suggesting you should pay for everything, but if you’re suggesting that he needs to be able to pay for most or all of your joint expenses (dinners, groceries, household items, vacations, dates). Then that’s not really fair, is it?

I don’t want to make accusations, so if you can elaborate, I can give more perspective. It’s not fair to expect your partner to pay for everything.

spartan55 · Answer

You aren't specific about what you see as 'financially unstable'. Does he work? Spend his money unwisely? Not save? Not buy you any jewelery? What do you mean? Also what exactly does being able to 'afford a girlfriend' mean?

LesterJester · Answer

Are you saying you expect a guy to foot the bill for you? For everything? You have a job don't you?

What kind of free loading crap is this?

Yes leave him and don't go back to him.

He deserves better.

redpanda_ · Answer

You're in the same age bracket as me, you're lucky if anyone in our age bracket is financially secure! But what makes him financially unstable?

NaultD · Answer

Do you need a reason to date someone or break up with someone? The answer is no. Your already on a level that doesn't need conditions. Is this where you want to be or not? What ever reasoning is just to make you feel better.

Anonymous · Answer

At your age I wouldn’t expect him to but if he isn’t working then that’s a problem

Screenwriter · Answer

Your statement is too vague. Do you mean he can't afford to take you out where you want to go? Why aren't you sharing some of these costs if he doesn't have a big salary. If you're saying he DOESN"T work, or is lazy, that is another issue entirely.

corporateDrone · Answer

Depends on what you value and how you see your future. Now with that said it kind of feels like you're jumping right to plan D. I'm curious have you let him know financial stability is an important factor to a successful relationship for you?

Ricky12222 · Answer

No , be the reason for him to work hard or else he might lose the reason to live for. Be more supportive

HighHithom · Answer

Depends on the love. If you think the love can withstand the stress, and toughness why leave him. Although, it'll probably get worse before or even stays to get better... How much are you willing to invest (emotion, time and money!)

silvermoon84 · Answer

I went for almost three years without a job because of the 2008 recession. If he treats you well otherwise and you love him, don’t leave him. Is he trying to find work?

rievious · Answer

Depends. Is he worth staying with? If not and he is getting worse than yeah. But if he is worth it and is caring to you then stay. If you still leave him even though he is worth it then congrats you're borderline gold digger.

Anonymous · Answer

It's always funny for women to find out the reality a man has to have financial stability but a woman doesn't. The only thing men ask is that she doesn't have crazy high amounts of debt and no way to help pay it off. Men may care a lot about looks but most men find just about every young woman attractive.

Teahappy · Answer

😂😂😂 you gotta make that decision for yourself. I've dated at guy who lived below poverty level before and we made it work financially for the time being.

Omar5881 · Answer

Just pay for your stuff like a grown up woman , just dont give him money everyone should be responsible for themselves

goldynt · Answer

No but yes... why is he financially unstable of he's hustling trying to build a business you should be right behide him Hustlin with him but if he's just bad with money and refuses to try better I won't say anything about that.

supercutebutt · Answer

Your boyfriend looked so snazzy in the pic I clicked on. I am surprised he is broke. Does he spend all his ca$sh on professional attire?

Juxtapose · Answer

If he can pay for his own shit than what the fuck are you complaining about? This has gold digger written all over it.

Femdom_Society · Answer

Make him your live in slave. You will keep him fed and clean (but naked) in return for being you houseboy and sex toy. If you get a new boyfriend put him in a chastity cage and downgrade him to just houseboy.

pratham2764 · Answer

boyfriend and girlfriend / wife is you half partner.. if u r financially unstable then he will have support you.. if is in need then what is the point of leaving him , support him it will strengthen your bond.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Depends on if that's going to be a permanent thing or he has a light in sight at the end of the tunnel. Virtually no one is financially stable in their early 20s.

nerdyinsomniac · Answer

Leave that jerk right now. Find a man who can support you

Chevy990 · Answer

I you love him, No, if you are only with him for his money, break up with that broke ass loser right away

Gottabsavagee · Answer

If you are with him for money then yes If you are with him out or love then you shouldn’t be even thinking of it So my conclusion, yes. You should leave.

neville78 · Answer

Team up and become financial successful 2 brains better than one. On the bright side if your out of there drop me a mail wine n dine you like a princess x

AynonOMouse · Answer

Until you bring in/contribute an equal amount as he does you have no valid reason to complain about how much he earns.

Gamillions · Answer

anyone who doesn't want to be employed has a serious problem. They won't change because their self esteem is gone. Better stay far away from this moocher. He's headed to jail or the welfare line no doubt.

SirRexington · Answer

Yet another way to value people solely based on their income. Ah capitalism, encouraging people to strip away our humanity one step at a time.

purplepoppy · Answer

That photo looks like he's about to do the famous elephant impression.

Capnjaques · Answer

Is there something you can do to help him be more responsible with his money?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It's his money, but if he can't keep a job then I would advise to leave a man like that.

Funistwo · Answer

Long time question. How old is he?  Early 20's no big deal. Early 30's find a new one.

Sarahjane777 · Answer

Mine hasn't worked for 379 days In 18months. It's destroyed me financially and mentally. I wish I didn't love him. It would be easy to LEAVE

snappysierra · Answer

You can also make your own money but if he is the type to just let you do all the work and him do nothing? Then leave him

dreamstar72 · Answer

The why/reason is the most important part and deal breaker.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

That's uncool. SO uncool. If you were in his situation and he did the same to you would you be happy?

Buddha_Panini · Answer

Is he relying on u for his finances? If not then y r u that uproaring to leave him? He can't afford a girlfriend or, wife but, if he is not pesky and wanting- do a favor and let the guy some time.

ITGirl95 · Answer

Not if he's trying hard to improve his financial situation

MsElizabeth96 · Answer

Yes I'm Now stuck with a financially unstable husband Run while you can

Jltakk · Answer

there's more to this story. One can be in a financial pickle and still be worthy of love and emotional support.

ronaldo75 · Answer

don't leave him but don't marry him yet. Also chill the fuck out, if you want a guy for money then go find a sugar daddy.

imfreeze95 · Answer

Is it his fault, is he immature or is there something any rational human would not do that he did  If get out of the relationship

pewdiepie_ · Answer

Maybe his bad time is running now. Money is not everything. Do both of you love each other? Let him land with a good job.

13IsALuckyNumber · Answer

Not should you leave him, but do you want to stay with him?

ask4any · Answer

Is the unstableness due to poor pay or irresponsibility?

JulieRoze7 · Answer

Afford? So ru with him for money?

My boyfriend is financially unstable. He can't afford to have a girlfriend or wife. Should I leave him?

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