My boyfriend has very bad money management issues. He would get paid on Friday and by Monday his left with $0. He would then start going around asking everyone in his social media for money to get to working for the week.
I spoke to him about saving and he said he will but he hasn’t tried. his 26 year old, should this be a reason to leave him?
Just depends on what he is blowing his money on? And why he is broke that fast? The right thing for you to do is sit down with him and figure out what he is spending’ his money on , You shouldn’t break up with him because of money , for the simple fact he is working , if he wasn’t working and sitting on his ass doing nothing than that would be a reason to leave him , but leaving him now , just makes you look like a selfish person that only cares about yourself , it shows you are only dating him for what you can receive from him , that isn’t love that is selfishness , How would you feel if he dumped you because you ended up broke? So do the right thing , by sitting down with him and figuring out where all his money is going and try to help him get on a budget to save. Some people are just horrible with money , it doesn’t make them a bad person it just makes them bad at budgeting money. After you sit down with him and figure out where his money is going to and you try to set him up on a budget shows you are supportive of him , if he decides not to follow that budget and puts himself back on the hole then yes you have a right to walk away from him and tell him you don’t want to be with someone that isn’t good with money , also does he ask you for money? If so put a stop to that and tell him you are no longer giving him money
This type of thing causes major problems in relationships. He might change in the future, but don't count on it. I've noticed that people tend to develop saving or spending habits at a fairly young age, and continue those habits throughout life. There are exceptions, but at 26 he should have his shit together better than that. Not only is he blowing all his money, but asking others for money, which is an even worse habit.
What you do about it is up to you, but don't count on him changing. Ask yourself honestly. If he never changes this habit, will there be any future with you?
He is in a Bad Full Circle Problem Pattern of Being a Spend Thrift and as Long as He is In This Pattern, He Will Never Have Money, honey. You will Probably Have a Problem With Him. But Maybe Too, He doesn't Make Much Money and after Bills-----Spends The Rest. Not sure. You Decide Now. It's Difficult Working With That Sort of Partner. xxoo
a 26 year old adult man who blows every paycheck he gets immediantly? and then asks other people for support/money? yeah that's a great reason to leave him. can you imagine if you got marriage? YIKES
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I'd have major concern if that was my girlfriend.
question is, what can you... and what is he... going to do about it. It's bad to go around asking others for money.
That said, what's his reality. did he get any support from parents... did he listen, does he have common sense. or is he not using his brain, spoiled, wasting money or losing it?
it's a problem to solve else how would you ever be secure and trust? noone should have to deal with that.
money "issues" can be a huge stressor if not in synch.
Depends on how much you want to be with him and your future goals. If you want a family this is a huge red flag and a lack of responsibility.
Tell him how serious you view his financial management (lack of). I'd say have him start a budget. There are several apps that track your credit cards and debit cards automatically once you sign up (I personally use Excel since I don't like 3rd parties seeing my transactions). This could be a good first step and it's very low maintenance.
The being broke and dumb with money stops being "cute" by junior year of college. He needs to wake up regardless of your relationship, maybe you can help him but you can't force him.
Ok consider this… you stay with him, you want a family, you have kids, you agree to save up for your kid’s education, you get paid and save, he gets paid and 3 days later he has no money and wants you to dip into the kids savings to cover costs of living
So have a talk, this is one of the few times an ultimatum is good, tell him he can change his habits or his relationship status, and make sure at least one of you follows through!
Sounds like he needs some serious self-discipline and to manage his money much better. I know I have a pretty cool type of job. It's a good gig. I work my ass off and push myself to the limit to earn as much as I can. It may seem like fairly big money, but with this bullshit inflation, it's more like a financial challenge / struggle and a conflict.
When I do get a good size pay cheque, I keep it in my account, pull a little bit of money out and keep it some where safe and keep saving/building up my funds that way in order to save up for something.
What does your boyfriend do for work?
I would just be honest and say you want a future with him but things need to change. It's not like guys going out and grabbing food or watching the game living that single-bachelor life style. Im assuming you want to start a future with him, get married one day, settle down. In fairness though, I'm a guy in my 30s and I was fairly reckless with money buying sneakers, clothes and going to sporting events and etc. Now I know the importance of investing and saving money. I think and I hope he will change for you, a guy who loves a girl if she kinda gives him crap to straighten up usually guy will listen because he doesn't want to lose her. But don't just leave right now. I'm not sure how much he gets paid per month but maybe start looking for better paying jobs.
Do your goals match with his? As other have said what is he spending it on? Is he putting Effort? Figure those out. If You and him both want a relationship/House/Kids etc, His spending is reasonable, Attempting to put effort in? Then I would discuss it with him. How to achieve those goals, saving and how to better yourselves (Educations/Promotions etc.)
He could possibly have a gambling or substance abuse issue, but there's no way to know that for sure.
Maybe as his girlfriend you should help him with it? But because you’re even considering leaving because of this don’t surprise me in the slightest. Leave him and let him find a girl who will actually help him where he struggles
He needs to have a sit down with someone so he can explain his finances. He may just need help. If you want have him reach out through your account to me.
honestly, i wouldn't waste time with this person, hoping that he'll eventually learn. you should base your choice of partner on the assumtion that they'll allways stay the way they are today. not based on hopes of what they may become.
If you wanted to leave him, you wouldn't hang about asking questions about it. You would say "sod this, I'm leaving you!" Or words to that effect!
Maybe. Is he broke paying bills for the two of you or is he broke because he spends it all on himself?
Y’all need to sit together and figure out where the money is going towards.
Hmm well personally someone that bad with money would be a no go for me. If you're that careless about money chances are you're careless about other things as well
You shouldn’t even date him from the beginning. Now, run as fast as you can.
It really depends what he is spending it on , and why do dam quickly?
Yes. You can't build a long-term future with someone who is so irresponsible.
The only reason to leave anyone is because you don't like them. They say the best thing a man can have is a strong woman behind him. Maybe be stronger. Support him until he takes over.
I don't know if that should per say, but you guys aren't married, so... There's definitely a good case for it..
If she's broke because she's a student or due to someo unforeseen event, that would be fine, but poor money management is a red flag for me.
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