I got my girlfriend pregnant, what now?

[Anonymous]

Long story short I've been living with my girlfriend for a year now. she's on birth control but it isn't 100% effective and I managed to get her pregnant. She wants to keep it but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a dad. What do I do?

[Account2]

If you have a good relationship with your own dad or grandfather, talk to them. Talk to a friend or relative that has children of their own, young and old. Google is also your friend, but be careful there. Ask if there was anything they didn't expect and for any tips for a new father.

Community is important for any family, especially a new one, so talk to the people you know. Get to know more people. Consider joining a new parent support group (they exist) if you're very unsure. Be in touch with your own families as well if possible.

As far as feeling you aren't ready, again, talk to your family and other fathers and grandfathers-- and of course with your girlfriend. I'm sure you're not the first person to feel that way. Talk seriously and think critically. Listen to and come to a decision with your girlfriend. And I'm sure you will do fine.

[razelove]

I'm going to guess this not 100% effective birth control is spermicide or the pull-out method? Or just not taking it. Either way, congratulations! You're left with few options, be a bitch and run, like alaska, north dakota, the army, navy, marines. Or, move in together if you aren't already, look at getting a 2 bedroom if you don't have one already. Marriage, maybe, not necessarily. Getting a paternity test wouldn't be a terrible idea. They're cheap, and it would ease a lot of worries you may have in the future. You are going to be broke as shit, and both of you will have to work harder than you ever had through that first year. Work together, and honestly man, the person to ask this question to, her, your parents, her family. You need all the help you can get, and not from online.

[Cynicaldreamer]

You man up and you help her take care of it.
I'm sorry; it sucks I know, but that's the risk that comes with having sex.

Birth control is NOT 100 percent effective!!! Which you've learned the hard way. So now you have to face the consequences.

Sit down and talk with your girlfriend. Make absolutely sure you're both ready for this commitment, and consider other alternatives such as adoption.
If she still wants to keep it, or you both do? Congrats! You'll have to step up, work a bit hard, and you'll just mature and be a parent faster than your peers.

[Daniela1982]

Pay child support for 18 years as it was your choice not to use a condom, and as you can see the pill is not always 100% effective. Apparently you were sleeping or texting in Sex Ed. Don't worry, changing a diaper isn't as bad as you might think. You will have at least 4 years to learn how.

.

[Anonymous]

Welp time to grow up. You either convince her to do adoption or you settle down with this person and make it work. That's the right thing to do, you have to take responsibility for your actions, there's always risk when it comes to sex, if you were to run out on her I think you'd be a scumbag. You should do your absolute best to make it work with this girl.

If a child grows up without a father figure they're much more likely to become criminals or homeless. You did this, now take responsibility.

[KrakenAttackin]

BULLSHIT it isn't 100% effective. Your girlfriend chose to get pregnant and she will never admit this to you. She will give you some song and dance, but the pill is %100 effective, plain and simple.

First, make sure the child is yours! No kidding, DNA swab test only costs about $30 and can be done as soon as the child is born.

Second, if the child is yours, stand by your child no matter what. There is nothing better than being a Dad.

Third, don't let your girlfriend off of the hook. No matter what issues she may have, your child demands the best so you make sure s/he get's it.

[vjones819]

It’s not your choice, 100%, if she gets a abortion or not I’m sure you know! So, all you can do is help her out and get ready to be a dad! If not, you can be a asshole and just leave her! Which I do not advise or condone just leaving her alone, because she didn’t just get herself pregnant it’s usually a two person job when it’s done on accident!

[broken_heart_at_48]

Now what? What kind of question is that if you're grown enough for sex then you better be grown enough to face your responsibilities. You aren't slow in the head or anything right I mean you understand how babies are made right. Even practicing can get her pregnant. You're a dad now so step up and be a man

[elite665]

And this is the problem with people she is gonna a keep it and your fucked why?
Cause you should have made it clear before she went on birth control if she gets pregnant we are not having a child. Now your in a situation where you as a guy are screwed

[madgoat]

Legally, you're financially liable to support the baby if she has it. You don't have to be there though.
Morally, you are expected to devote your life, financially and emotionally, for 20 years to support her and baby.
However, it takes two to get pregnant. You can discuss this all with her. Maybe she decides she doesn't want it after all. Maybe she wants it but not you. Maybe you decide it'll be great to have it and build a family of your own.

[PondyPand]

Talk to her about it ansd why you're not ready. Then decide if you ever want to ne in the kids life or not, and take it from there.
If you decide not tk be involved, get it signed by you amd her so she can't come after you at any point

[CindyRuns]

Well... you should have decided that you didn't want to be a dad before you put your penis into her vagina.

For now... be a man and support her and the child that the two of you created !!!

[Juxtapose]

Women like you are why vasectomies are a thanks. You can't trap a man who can't fertilize your egg.

[coveredinmaplesyrup]

Take your passport, go to Mexico, erase every trace of your existence once you're there

[Tomsta]

You start with talking to her about this and go full disclosure. This is a big decision to make and shouldn't be left to people on the internet

Also confide in your best friend and see what they suggest

[MackToday]

Just be sure and get a genetic test to make sure it's yours. Women have gone off the pill to trick men before.

[letssee89]

Respect her choice, step up and be the best father you can be. There are no other respectable options

[TheDiminishedOne]

No one's really ready to have kids. Trust me when the kids born yer life will change for the better

[osili]

What now grow up and start by Getting your mind set to take care of your resposibilitys

[Nitnit2585]

Choose a girl name, and a boy name.
And buy a lot of baby's stuff. The baby needs his/her dad!

[Juxtapose]

Why did you get with a woman who is okay with kids in the first place? Now you're at her mercy.

[Anoniemus]

Prepare to be a father.

[Jmmmfi4]

Your life is over