My Girlfriend is Pregnant With her Ex!

[Anonymous]

She just told me she is 3months along with child while we started dating less than a month ago, she broke up with her ex 2months ago.

As we were about to have sex together, she stops me and tells me this, she wants to keep it and states she's afraid ill leave her now...

To be honest, yes; I do want to leave her, but not on a bad note. I want to help her out with this situation yet not be responsible with this child's birth, because of the fact that its not mine.

I just turned 20 while my girlfriend is turning 21, I am in university while she is working full time.

I am unable to help her financially due to my own expenses but am willing to do just about anything to get her through the birthing process.

My actually question is...

What would you do in my situation and how should I go about handling this as a whole.

note: I do want to end my relationship with her as I am not ready to take care of any kid but I will stay as a friend only, to help her out.

Don't think of me as shallow for leaving her, It's just the way I feel about this all, I'm a respected guy who no one sees as "knocking up" a girl out of marriage, yet I do feel selfish for thinking this...

Help Please

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if you've resolved your situation on this one way or the other, but one other thing for you consider, just in case you're still with her.

You need to talk to a lawyer. I'm not freaking kidding man! Depending on where you are, if you stay with her and offer her support in any way for period of time, you COULD end up on the hook for this kid. I'm not sh*tting you. I'm not a lawyer myself, but you should definitely talk to a family lawyer in your jurisdiction to protect yourself.

"But how can I possibly be on the hook if it's not my biological kid?" you may ask? Simple, when this kind of thing ends up in a court, a judge will frequently take the child's best welfare as tantamount to the "surrogate father's" actual liability. So stay with her and offer support at your peril.

[Belgie]

It's not a time to be subtle. Tell her straight out, that the relationship is over. That you will in NO WAY be responsible for another mans kid. But that you're willing to help her AS A FRIEND, if she is willing to let you.

She may not want you around, if you dump her. Be prepared for that option.

But the one thing you can't do, is be subtle.

You did nothing wrong, and you're not being selfish. If you hang around though, preventing her from maybe meeting someone, giving her false hope that you two have a future together, then you are doing something wrong.

[sheweet]

Awwww you seem so damn NICE! So many guys don't want to even stick around for their own kid, and theyre much older than you. Look, you should tell her this straight up. If she's going to be a mom she better know how to take a tough situation. Tell her you'll be there for her as she needs you, but only as a friend, and you'll care for her. And then prove it to her. Be her friend.

If she can't accept this, leave her. Its not your problem in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I say get out of that situation. She obviously is looking for support, whether its a friend, boyfriend, etc. This is her & HER EX problem, she was the SELFISH one for bring you along into it. Its going to be more headache then pleasure, she needs to take care of her own business. Sure you can be a friend to her, if you really want to be, but she got herself into this..you can't feel bad for that. Don't feel selfish please. Best Wishes!

[DanHendo]

Best answer

[Anonymous]

I would end it. The kid's not mine, and she wants to keep a kid that was fathered by some jerk she dumped. She got herself into this situation and is keeping herself in it. That's not somebody I wanna be with.

If you stay with her too long, you'll seem like kind of a jerk for "leaving when she needs you most." Leave now and you may still be able to be friends, and you won't come off as a jerk.

[Anonymous]

seriously I don't think the father of the child is willing to pay any responsibility to her.. I would suggest you to stay out of this whole matter, you may think that my thinking is very selfish, but seriously you don't want to get futher involve it in also right... just have a clean break with her.. don't let a women ruin your life.. so think about it..

[l-hedoniste]

"I'm sorry, but dating an expectant mother just isn't what I was planning. I really wish you would have told me this sooner; I wouldn't have let things go this far."

[Blackkid2011]

Falcon Punch?

[juice1]

dumbass, it ain't his kid

[Anonymous]

you should move on.

[Anonymous]

defiantly dump her.