This is between you and him, not his job, not the courts, and most likely not this new girl either. I am sickened by those who offer simple fixes, especially with the courts, this is a complex issue and needs a ton more information and his side of the story before any solutions can be even considered let alone acted on. Court isn't fair anymore, they rarely know the full context and focus on punishing the man more than caring for the child or justice.
You leave little context, but I'll try to work around it. Your actions were most likely out of line, calling his job will cause resentment, hostility, and could land him in huge trouble or make you look like a vengeful and unfit mother (not good optics). This is between you, him, and maybe the other girl but that's a different issue. Get no one else involved if possible, if you make any wrong moves that could reflect poorly on your capacity to care for the child (consider your optics).
Your right to be upset depends on two things, when and why did you get pregnant, and why did you break up. This is why having a baby out of wedlock is not good, it creates friction and drama. If he dumped you for no good reason then you can be upset he left, but not that he has someone new. On the other hand if you left or it was mutual then you need to stop getting involved.
How is there neglect? Was this from careless sex, or mutual desire? Has he offered to care for the child in any way? Did you ask him to care for it? When did this happen compared to the break up. Why can't you support yourself since the child is unborn? In what way did he cost your health, and further more how did he tax the child's health? How do you even know about his new girl? I'm not making accusations, these are some of the questions that must be answered before any advice is valid.
You both screwed up and now you both need to find a way to ensure this child is cared for. Your child needs food, shelter, and for best development one father figure and one mother figure. Not drama, or a split home. You have autonomy, freedom and power mean responsibility, and unless he has actually victimized you then you share the blame too. Get a plan to care for your kid, you both owe that much.
You need to act rationally, your feelings are not important. Facts, context and your child's future matter, your emotions like his are tied for last place. Find a 3rd party who is familiar with this incident (so not a court) to help if you and he cannot work this out.
"My boyfriend broke up with me, please fire him." No. No it's not a good reason. *sigh*
You have to own up to your responsibilities, now. You chose the wrong guy, now you're on your own. Be strong, for the baby, and find some way to manage your stress sufficiently. He has no legal obligation to stay with you. He has a legal obligation to give you money.
You can be upset, but you have no right at all to try and make trouble for him at his job or expect anything more than child support after your baby arrives.
He was your ex, not your committed boyfriend or husband and you have chosen to keep this baby knowing that. I understand it’s not the ideal situation, but it is one you have chosen to remain in and that responsibility lies only with you now. You need to start focusing on your child and preparing for that rather than what he’s doing and with who - because he is none of your business anymore.
Lol take some responsibility. He is your ex. He has to pay child support and that's it. He doesn't have to stick around. Be more careful next time. He won't give you a beachy velvet wedding because you got pregnant.
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u You cannot make a bad guy turn into a good father. Do your baby a favor and have it placed for adoption; every child deserves to have a caring mother and a caring father.
No, you really don't.
I'm not with my son's dad, I haven't been for a long time and we've survived ( by "we" I mean my little boy and I. His dad is nothing to us)
Your situation may not be how you want it, but it's the one you're in, and your're going to have to make the "best" of it for everyone's sake.
In the nicest possible way, you need to grow up. Your baby will "make it" stop being such a drama queen.
Your emotional well being is your hands. Not his.
Stop trying to force his hand and focus on what's important. Focus on your own state of mind away from him. He doesn't matter right now.
You focus on being the best possible parent that you can be, and work on co-parenting with him in the best way that you can when the time comes.
You may not like they way things are, but it what it is, you can't change it. You cannot emotionally blackmail someone into being with you.
Like I said before, grow up, take stock of the situation and concentrate on where you're going to go from there, you don't own him, he doesn't have to be with you, nor do you need him to be.
It's normal for you to be upset, BUT you guys are not together. He has the right to move on with someone else, and is not responsible for your happiness. I was in a very similar situation 13 years ago. My ex-husband was also Navy. I was pregnant, we weren't married, he wanted to sleep around. Eventually he came back to me, I accepted him, and we had a very long and unhappy marriage, so it really wasn't for the best. My point is that I know how the Navy works. It seems like you may be using the Navy as a tool to control him, and that's the way anyone you complain to within the Navy will see it. You're not his wife. You have no rights to him. The only person who does is that baby. Once the baby is born and you have proof of paternity, he will be responsible for paying for the baby and providing health insurance for the baby, but that's it. You need to accept that and not see yourself as a victim. I know that's easier said than done, but it's essential for your health and the health of your baby. I recommend seeking therapy.
He obviously doesn't want anything to do with you and never gave his concent to be a parent.
You want to complain to his work because he won't pay attention to you? What the hell is wrong with you? You're going to be a parent! GROW UP! Adults don't "tell on" each other, they deal with their issues in mature and adult ways.
You're obviously not mature enough to raise a child. It's probably too late for you to have an abortion, but you should definitely give the child up for adoption. I know I would want to be raised by a selfish, vindictive, childish bitch, and that's exactly what you would be if you cried to his boss.
You don't really have a right over who he's dating since you're his ex. I don't really know why you notified his workplace, but one thing's for sure and it's that he's being irresponsible. If he got you pregnant he must assume his part of the responsibility and face the music. Or at least if he plans on being an absent father then he should tell you that he seeks no type of involvement with the baby. That being said I think that you should talk to him like normal, mature, about-to-be parents adults do. You were together once I'm sure you can figure out an arrangement or plan on how this whole parenthood thing is going to work out. Best of luck!
You're gonna complain to the NAVY?
Pfah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Look, this guy played you. You lose! Move on! Move on with your now damaged life and try not to be so fucking stupid in the future and maybe, just maybe, you won't fuck up this bad again.
Harsh reality is thag He has responsibilities toward the child when he's born. He has no responsibility toward you or him when he's in your belly. You two are not married. Been a couple for a very shirt period and you conceived a child due to absence of protection. In these type of scenarios responsibility is not 50/50... one at least is more responsible than the other.. mainly the woman cause she's the one who will carry the child.
Now as for the new girlfriend again you have no right to do anything. Max of what you can is try to win him back. But clearly this was an adventure more than a relationship.
I'm sorry it caused you to be hurt but he's your ex for a reason. One of you wasn't happy so it's best you are not together. And since you aren't together he's not obligated to do anything but be responsible for your child when its born. You can be upset that he has a new girlfriend but you are only hurting yourself dwelling on it. What you should be doing is keeping things civil with your ex because that's what's gonna be best for your child. Calling the Navy and complaining to them seems very vindictive and I don't see how that's gonna do anything but cause more drama. You need to move on and understand he's nothing but your childs father now. It's none of your business if he has a new girlfriend.
You have a right to be upset because he's neglecting you and your child. He's your ex, but he has to make an effort to at least be in the life or the child, and support you. If you're broken up, he has the right to have a new girlfriend but he shouldn't treat you like crap. But, if he chose to treat you awfully, that's his fault. He'll regret it when he sees you happy and taking care of your beautiful child. Focus on yourself. Your own health. You can't do anything about his bad behaviour, i know it's harsh but it's the truth.
It sounds like a bad break up and he moved on. Some women avoid protection to get pregnant and cage their boyfriend, preventing them from leaving. He might think this is the case. The strong denial and neglect says he refuses and the new girlfriends means he moved on. His best situation is for you to abort the baby. He can't force you, only run. You can demand economic support, but emotional is only his to give. Good luck if you keep it. Single parenthood is tough and single moms may have a hard time getting future partners.
I get why you would be upset, but being so won't help your current condition. He has chosen the path he wants, which shows you his character.
Tbh, you're going to hurt... a lot. Nobody wants to face pregnancy or parenthood without the other person involved. Now, it's time for you to dig deep in yourself and be strong. Seek the proper help and support you can from family, friends, church. Definitely hold him accountable for financially supporting the child. Somebody had to pay to raise him when he was a baby, kid, teen, and so on.
Yes... with yourself because...
1. You didn't use adequate birth control.
2. You are having kids before you got married. Had you been married, he would not have cavalierly moved on like he did because the price of divorce is high.
Now you understand why you don't just spread your legs and make so irresponsibly.
I am sorry.. You two are not a couple.. that means you have no right to be upset that he has moved on and found someone else. You stressing about it and causing health problems is your own fault, If the baby miscarries because you are stressing about his choices again it is your own fault. Dont play the victim here. Accept the fact that you are not part of his life any more.. Accept it and move on your self. How was he neglecting you? Was he not giving you attention? I'm sorry but again you aren't a couple he does not owe you attention. Does he need to take care of a child he helped create.. Definitely but you are not part of that equation no matter how much you want to be, and he owes you nothing.
Why would you call his work? There is no logical reason for you to.
You're upset, I understand that, but your health, the baby's health and the decisions you make now for the future, are all on you. It's your responsibility. And you can step up, because you need to. ❤️
Whatever he did or didn't do, is his responsibility, however you're not together, you're not married, and his life is shared with another person. You have no rights to it. He has all the rights in the world to move on, and so should you.
Your baby does have rights and that's something you can process when you get there. Now it's all you and the baby. It is your decision to keep, thus also your decision to be where you're at. I've been a single mom. It's doable, by all means. It's all about your attitude towards your life.
Grow better, not bitter. ❤️
You do to an extent. My dad took off when I was two and left my mother to raise me all by herself. On top of that he stole money before he did it so he left us with basically nothing. 32 years later, I still have to comfort my mom when she hurts over the fact that he didn't give a damn about us. I do too, I would have loved to have a father. But she cried her tears and took care of me and herself, and whether or not you believe it you are perfectly capable of doing the same. Don't listen to this psycho babble from some of these people. Regardless as to who was wrong in this situation you have every right to feel hurt, but there's a better guy out there.
You should be at the doctor if you're concerned your child won't make it, not asking GaG if it's okay to tattle on your ex...
Go to the doctor. Realize it was a mistake to get pregnant by an ex (you are 6 months pregnant, he has been an ex for a year). And realize that he wants nothing to do with you. But but but do make sure he pays his share for his child. And focus on you and your little blessing.
The navy can't make him love you or want to be with you ya know, at this point you only have antiquated rules on your side...
There are a lot of callous people on this site. Sorry to hear that you will be having a baby with that jerk. Hopefully this will serve as a life lesson to both of you to be more cautious with who you have sex with. I realize he is probably also young and dumb, but he will likely want a paternity test and a court to order him to pay child support before he will get involved at all in your situation. He is not bound to you in any way unless the court determines he is the father, and in that case, he may get parental rights or simply forced to pay child support. I hope your friends and family will help take care of you because this doesn’t sound like the kind of guy who will. Also, if you are trying to complain to anyone, call up him mama and leave his work out of it. Mamas will nag the hell out of him to do the right thing. Work will only tease him for having a crazy ex girlfriend.
why would you complain to his place of employment? what do you expect them to do?
you need to find strength in yourself for the sake of you and your baby. i'm sorry it sucks that he isn't really participating but he was your ex so i guess you should've known he wasn't going necessarily be that involved.
surround yourself with family and friends who care and love you. do your best to get in a great place both emotionally and physically again for the sake of your child and you.
Be upset to an extent ; if you see a reason to after this, you're an amazing person, you should really focus on your baby. Your baby, and keep yourself in a good mood everyday for that baby and I am going to be here for you to help you today. Even though he is with someone new ; now you can see, it's not him you need, and you should realize, your baby needs you, plus you probably see you need your baby ; that's good. Find an amazing person for that baby that doesn't let a breakup happen. Soon you'll see after finding a new person and taking your time to find them it was truly worth it because they are capable of lasting with you and supporting what you want. I read a book called "Love yourself like your life depends on it" I would like you to read that for yourself, you can find it as a PDF file for phone completely free off google and after reading it, keep it in mind you can read that to your baby as he / she grows up to make your baby a happy individual. I hope this helps!
You have every right to be mad at his decision to ignore the child, you’re also human and a pregnant one at that so it’s okay to be in an emotional flux, however, you have to respect his decisions when it comes to him wanting to be with someone else, it’s his life and he only has one to live. Just take him to court and work out guidelines for the child, try not to be petty by keeping the baby away from him because your upset. You’ll need all the help you can get, even if it’s from someone who hurt you.
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