Is it normal to have doubts in a long-term relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been a relationship for a long time with my wonderful boyfriend, but suddenly, I have started to feel doubtful about our relationship. We're going to the same college and love each other very much, but I am worried (I have bad anxiety) that we will get sick of each other and divorce. My parents didn't set a good example which I believe is influencing me, and I'm worried about committing so young. Is this normal? I don't want to break up with him at all but have recently had intrusive thoughts and anxiety about him, and have thought mean things when I get annoyed. He makes my life amazing and I don't know if this is toxic thinking.

[serious]

Well you have effectively answered your own question. Yes, your thinking will become toxic if you don't stop this and it will eventually ruin your relationship.

From what you have said, there doesn't seem to be anything that your boyfriend is doing by his actions that is making you have these doubts. You are simply having these doubts out of your own insecurities and anxiety as you say it yourself.

Hence only you can stop this. If you need to then go and see a counselor.

[Asker]

It definitely isn’t anything he’s doing, he is amazing and I love him a lot. I have depression and anxiety which might be clouding my judgement here. Thank you for the reply it helped a lot.

[fashionguy17]

Being on GAG, I noticed people are very negative. People are going to tell you that it's not normal and if you really love someone, you wouldn't have those doubts and if you have doubts, you should break up and all this other stupid bullshit.

Listen... it is OKAY to have doubts. We are humans and we all have doubts. It's normal. Everyone has doubts in a relationship. It happens. Just keep going and keep your relationship fresh and spicy. You'll get through it.

[Minnie97]

It's very normal and I personally would express these feelings to your boyfriend. Just tell him how you feel and what's causing it, I'm sure he will be able to reassure you of your worth and the relationship as well and put your mind at ease a little.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Its one thing to have doubts; how you deal with them is another thing entirely. You need to find a way to communicate your anxieties in a way that doesn't automatically validate them. They might be based in reality or they might just be toxic thoughts to dismiss

[rockrewls]

Toxic thinking yes, but talk to him about what you are feeling if you talk it out you will feel better and reassured, it sounds like there are some trust issues in the back of your mind.
As long as you both work hard at your relationship both giving and caring it should be fine, relationships are hard at times it takes a lot of work to keep them strong.

[JSWise143]

Yes, that's normal. When you don't have doubts, expect problems to appear shortly after.

[Asker]

Good advice!

[JSWise143]

Drake said, "Never take advice". What I gave you was my " experience". Life lesson.

[TonyBologna25]

It’s normal to have doubts here and there.