Seeing a guy for three weeks, found out he has a girlfriend

[Anonymous]

So, I met this guy about a month ago, at first we talked he was always very nice and then one day he asked me out and I said yes. He went through a lot of trouble finding good places to go that I would like and we had a great time, kissed and nothing else (we haven't done anything else). He kept in touch, saw him again where he works and he kissed me before I left (in front of everyone). Then again we went out together with his brother and best friend, had a great time kissed again he called me two days later invited me out with his friends and I really hit it off with his best friend's girl, then somehow the girlfriend thing came up and I asked her, I told her I wouldn't say anything that I just wanted to to know, she told me he does have a girlfriend but that she is never around, never comes out and that she barely knows the girl. Now, I started to really like this guy, how do I confront him (remember he can't know his friend told me), I don't want to break a relationship but it also seems like he likes me, I mean he hasn't even tried to sleep with me and he always texts me saying that he has a great time with me. he knows he's not gonna get any for while, and I find it weird that the girl is never ever around to the point that he would take me out and kiss me in front of people and call me at random times. Is he maybe unhappy? I have been in that situation where I'm through with someone but can't let go, is that it? PLEASE SOME ADVICE!

[Deeplove55]

Yes. he is unhappy with her and a lot of times some people just don't know how to get out, can't at the time for financial reasons or if they have a kid together, its even more harder. Not to say he will never leave her. he will. just right now he can't let go, not ready to and no matter how great yalls relationship is, it can't change that. you can't change him if he is not ready. he's afriend is a good friend for telling you and yes they weren't suppose to because it can change a lot of things between yall but it is the truth you neede to hear. Sad it had to come from his friend instead of him telling you. he hasn't been honest at all with you and I would confront him about it if you really are into him. You don't want to ever settle for second best, on the side, I don't care how much he dislikes his girl. he is still with her, trying to have his cake and eat it too But I'm sure he really likes you too but that doesn't matter because he has you and her and he is content with that which is called havin his cake and eatin it to. he was with her first so its kind of hard to break that off. And the friend, you don't know them and they are not in the relationship. You are with this guy and you tell him that you know . you don't have to say who told you but you need to let him know that you aren't gonna put up with being second. let him get mad, deny it or he may jus admit it. Then, break it off, girl. Yall can be friends but let him know that yall are no longer gonna be intimate the way yall were until he closes the door to that relationship. period. if you don't do this and give in to being that other woman because yall are so into each other, then its all on you whatever happens. most likely, he will still b e with her and make promises that he is going to leave but that's no time soon the way he'll make it sound. I just hope he admits he has a gf.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Just ask him if it's true that he has a girlfriend?

[dannyboy187]

If this friend is a good one, then you can be certain that you heard the truth. Either way you have to find out if he really has a girlfriend (from the mouth himself). You can say that you've heard some stuff about him having a girlfriend. If he says no, then tell him who said it and see if he is straight up with you. If he isn't, then you have to dump this chump.

[martyfellow]

It could be that he can't let go, could also be that he wants both of you.no way to know without asking him about it. He doesn't have to know how you heard about his girl friend. Just refuse to answer him if he asks that.

Actually, if he asks that, it's time to walk away because he's being dishonest and even when caught is trying to change the subject!

[Dchrls78104]

The safest course is immediately to end your relationship with this guy. He has a girlfriend, and as long as the present situation continues, he appears to be playing both you and her. Are you prepared to deal with the possible fallout if the girlfriend finds out about the two of you?

[Anonymous]

I am not judging either of you, but do you think you could ever trust a guy who was willing to date and develop an emotional relationship with another girl (you) while in a committed relationship with someone else? What makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you?

[Anonymous]

Don’t sell yourself short by being second best or a side chick. The guy that loves you will choose you and only you. He’s a CHEATER and a PLAYER. Don’t trust a word he says a word he says.

[Anonymous]

I would approach this very diplomatically. You don't know how credible she is, and women can have ulterior motives in situations like this.

Bring it up to him lightly over if you two are exclusive or not and go from there

[sonnysunshine]

If he cheats on her he will cheat on you

[ChiPaPa]

End it.