Was my dad right to fault us for not visiting our mother before she passed away?

[Anonymous]

My siblings and I haven’t seen our mother in a long time. I haven’t seen her in two years, my brother, eight years and my older sister, ten years. I know my older sister and mom had a dispute ten years ago and hasn’t seen mom since. My brother hasn’t seen her in years and he couldn’t get the time off. I went to see her two years ago. Our father has been telling us to go see our mother. I wanted to go see her this past summer but couldn’t. My brother couldn’t take the time off and my older sister refused. So none of use went to see her. My brother and I are the only ones that speak to her. Two weeks ago she passed away. She had pancreatic cancer stage four. We all regretted not seeing her. We should of. We found out three before she died and we and my dad hugged tight. I begged our sister to come see mom but she refused but she being so stuck up.
Our dad said we should have gone to see her and my brother and I could have went to see her without our sister but instead we didn’t go. He said, “I told you guys to go see her SO MANY TIMES but you guys didn’t do that. That’s on you guys for not seeing her. You waited until it was too late and you have to live with that. I don’t mean to be harsh but I keep telling you, you don’t know when the last time you’re going to see your loved ones.”
We already feel bad enough as it is. I know what Dad said it’s the truth but he made us feel worse. We did call mom before she passed. Video chatted with her.

[petitedollbabee]

at least you got to talk to her before she passed. It’s a horrible situation and I’m sorry for your loss. Your dad is right in what he said, but at a certain point he’s got to stop saying it. There’s no point in dwelling on the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” or “what ifs”. What’s done is done. You and your siblings have got to have the chance to grieve and face the fact that you did not see her in person before she passed, without your dad sounding like a broken record in your ear.

[Asker]

I don’t know what to do. we should have went to see her but my brother said it’s too late and what’s done is done and there’s nothing we can do about it

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

This happens in many families, I did talk to my mom the night before she passed away, I was down at the local Family Dollar when my cousin, called me on the phone to let me know my mom passed away, and I had to call my uncle, and we got moms insurance policy together, and then we got things ready for her. It was sad for sure, and I'm sorry for your loss.

[Asker]

Man I’m very sorry. I’m still angry about my mom dying but my brother said, “Which would you rather do? Have mom suffer forever or let me die peacefully? You can’t get angry when things like this happens. I know it’s hard but mom wouldn’t want us to be angry about her deaths. It sounds harsh but it’s the truth. Life isn’t all games. We should have gone to see her AND WE ARE SELFISH FOR NOT FUCKING VISITING HER! We have to face the truth that we didn’t see her and we had so many chances!!! MOMMY IS GONE AND SHE isn't COMING BACK!” He broke down crying after he screamed harshly at me.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Sorry about your loss God Bless You !!!

[robocop666]

well you did speak to her