Does Religion matter in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Please add any detail.

Obviously

Not so much

[Anonymous]

I'd say it depends on whether you're the religious one or not and also how religious you/they are.

Eg. I dated a guy on/off for 4 years. He broke up with me all the time because we weren't "equally yolked". He was super Christian and I just wasn't. I really loved him and I thought he really loved me but I think I was in a bit of an emotionally abusive relationship and it was because of religion. We didn't have sex but we'd do other things and he always used to make me feel terrible because I took this experience away from him and this was supposed to only happen with his wife on his wedding night. Things like that.

If one of you is super religious and the other isn't, I don't think it'll work unless one of you are willing to make the sacrifice.

[Asker]

So you were in a Christian conservative relationship and you were worse off?
That's really intersting. Perhaps the emotional abuse came from his sexual abstinence.

You would think your partner would have more respect for you because you don't engage in sexual activity. Thanks for the comment 👍

[Opinion Owner]

Yes! I felt like he used religion as a cop out. He said he loved me but he just knew I wasn't the one because it would never work if we didn't believe the same things.

I think the emotional abuse did come from that because the sexual activity that we did engage in was always our biggest issue. Everything we did was always consensual but he was such a hypocrite! After his orgasm he'd be like "this was wrong, i didn't want to do that, you took something away from me".

I tried to change who I was and I tried to become religious and even strained my relationship with my family but nothing I did was ever good enough for him.

Hope this info helps. :)

[Asker]

I feel a little sorry for you 😂
I can't believe what i'm hearing rn.

I really don't see where the problem in the relationship came from other than your spouse. Couldn't you just be happy and wait till marriage? It's his own fault.

I mean I'm willing to give up my religeous practices for my significant other. (Maybe)
I think love is greater than any belief.

As long as you're a good person, it doesn't matter if you're religeous or not. Your partner should have been grateful to have you in the first place. Smh

[Opinion Owner]

are you both religious? he believed in something so wholeheartedly that he was willing to revolve his life around this thing. i, on the other hand, was/am not like that. i was going into my first year in university and he wasn't going to school because that "wasn't apart of God's plan for him". a lot of my university experience sucked because i tried to be someone who i wasn't to impress a guy who clearly didn't love me the way i loved him. and that's not a good relationship to be in. if we were still together, i would be so unhappy because even though i loved him and we had some good times together, i wasn't being my authentic true self.

i'd say if you really love the person you're with and your religious beliefs don't mean that much to you, go for it. but if their religious beliefs trump the way they feel for you, don't put yourself through a situation like that. it's the worst feeling being the one in the relationship who gives the most/gets nothing back. this guy took off to Africa for 10 months and barely spoke to me and i still stayed loyal and waited for him. can't believe i put myself through that.

why don't you tell me a little more about this relationship of yours?

[Asker]

Thats a crazy story.
I'm christian (though my religious beliefs are hanging by a thread 😂)
She's Jewish. But I don't mind, as long as I'm with the person I want to be with.

I just want us to be happy. It's nice she has some moral conviction, and I guess it would bother me if we had a sexual experience before marriage but It wouldn't be a dealbreaker. The ammount of shit people need to deal with these days is bad enough.

I would never sacrifice our personal happiness for some higher moral standard. But I also wouldn't dabble in casual sex just because I feel like it.

I think the problem for you was your priorities were completely different.
He was compromising your happiness for some misplaced sense of self righteousness.

But in the end it really isn't that difficult. You know whether you're being sexually deviant and immoral for personal pleasure or if you truly love someone and have a romantic relationship. The difference between the two is vastly different. Something your Ex didn't understand.
It's not a high crime to be sexually active in a loving relationship.
You're not aborting babies...

I wish the best of luck to u 😜

[Opinion Owner]

so is she very religious? is there a problem in your relationship right now?

for sure! and that's all i wanted - i didn't want to be promiscuous i just loved him and obviously wanted to be with him, emotionally and physically. it's okay, that was about 3 years ago but now i'm in a new loving relationship with someone completely different. best of luck to you too. :)

[Asker]

Haha thanks.
Yeah there is a problem in our relationship. It's too boring!
We can't go anywhere cause there's no money and in my job there's a lot of travel.

Imagine being apart for so long then not try and so something about it 🤣 Oh god.

[thegirlfromthething]

It matters less the less religious each person is. But it will become a big obstacle if an inter-faith couple disagrees on which religion their children should be raised with or they’re both very devout and wish their partner would convert or get involved with their religion. As an atheist I’d prefer a boyfriend or husband who is one too, but I’d date someone who practiced a religion as long as he wasn’t serious about it.

[Asker]

You're telling me

[thegirlfromthething]

Which part?

[Asker]

Top bit 😂

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Honestly, it depends.
I'm not really religious, but I do attend Mass on Sundays as way to bond with my mother.
My fiancée is not religious at all, but if she doesn't have the work shift that day she always insists to come along.

[Asker]

Lol litteraly me 🤣🤣

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

lol.
Yesterday the priest asked if we were going to marry in his church, we didn't tell him we'll go for a civil rite...

[Asker]

Oh no 😂😂

[Asker]

Just say you'll find another church 😂

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Maybe we could, but priests here all talk to each other so he'd find out we lied.
Truth is, we don't want to pay 5000€ or more on all the stuff the Church asks, we'd like to use those money for the actual celebration or put them away.

[Asker]

Church weddings are boring anyway. You should find some pacific island to have it on.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

We have already found a beautiful Villa on the lake of Como for our event, and casually, renting the venue is about 5000€...

[Asker]

Nice

[BestUserName100]

Yep it’s important to me personally only Christian/catholic.

[Asker]

This poll says otherwise...

[BestUserName100]

And? I don’t care about their opinions.

[Asker]

Ohh shhhit

[BestUserName100]

Lol..

[BestUserName100]

Yep I take my shit seriously..

[Asker]

@BestUserName100 Would you date a Jew?

[BestUserName100]

Nah I’m good. Nothing against them or anything just not what I’m about.

[Asker]

I wish I had that conviction 😂

[BestUserName100]

Maybe Gods got other plans for you and your life who knows. Don’t try to be someone else and follow your heart and where you think he’s leading. And stay away from lies and stuff of the enemy who tries to trick us.

[Asker]

Hahahahahahaha

[HomoFuge]

If someone is super religious and another person is an atheist it may be a problem. I know a lot of people who ascribe to a religion who are dating atheists but they are not that religious. So, it works.

[Asker]

Why would it be a problem?

[HomoFuge]

Different values may cause conflict in the relationship. For example, a strict Catholic who doesn't believe in birth control and a militant atheist would bring them into conflict a lot.

[Asker]

Wait what? So if they don't want to use protection?
Or the pill?

[mangomilkshake]

@ChadGroyper very devout catholics don't believe in using birth control for some reason, that's what they mean!

[Asker]

@mangomilkshake Yeah it's wrong. Amd it's not just Very devout Catholics by the way

[mangomilkshake]

i just mean by devout catholics that if you aren't as into your faith, people may choose to forget about that rule! in the same way that some people are okay with premarital sex etc.

[Liadon]

If you and your partner have different religious beliefs it can impact raising a child in a pretty bad way since you'll both have juxtaposing positions on their upbringing. For me personally, religion is a turn off.

[Asker]

This is really scary, I don't want my future child to be raised jewish. 🤣

[Liadon]

And your partner might not want your child to be raised by whatever your belief is. Its possible to attempt a compromise and and teach the child critical thinking so they can make their own decisions though. But it does seem like quite different religious beliefs would make this a potentially volatile situation.

[Asker]

I think in the end I would make the compromise for my partner...
May god have mercy on my soul 🤣

[ClosetHoe]

If he's not strict about religion and doesn't force me to have the same religious beliefs as him then no.

[Asker]

What about moral beliefs? Like no sex before marriage etc?

[ClosetHoe]

Of course, moral beliefs matter. I don't know if I'd date a guy who wants to wait until marriage. I don't see the point.

[Asker]

Hahaha this is really funny but not surprising in any way.

Let me ask you this, If you want a guy to care about you and respect you and be romantic etc whatever, then do you think it's fair that you're allowed to fuck whoever you want, whenever without the prospect of marriage. I dont see how you can expect one thing whilst participate in another.

[ClosetHoe]

You're confused. That's called an open relationship (where we can fuck whoever). I will never be in an open relationship. My relationships are monogamous and closed. I don't need to be married to not have sex with other people while in a relationship.

[Asker]

No I mean, is it normal for you to expect your partner to be loyal and respectful when you HAVE HAD sexual encounters in the past before marriage and refuse to abstain from sex before marriage?

[ClosetHoe]

Yes, i wouldn't be in a relationship with him if he didn't respect me. This is why you talk to your partner about stuff like this before getting into a relationship. These days most people don't wait until marriage to have sex and most people aren't virgins when they get married. It's normal.

[Asker]

@ClosetHoe It may be common but it sure as shit ain't normal.

[ClosetHoe]

Mkay.

[mangomilkshake]

@ChadGroyper why isn't it normal for people to have lost their virginity before marriage?

[Asker]

@ClosetHoe (Because you must marry first of course)

[mangomilkshake]

but it's totally up to whatever the individual's beliefs are! if you believe it's wrong to have sex before marriage, then definitely it's good for that individual to abstain but it's completely fine if someone doesn't believe in that and has sex before marriage. :)

[Asker]

@mangomilkshake You don't feel any guilt?

[mangomilkshake]

@ChadGroyper no guilt whatsoever :) i'm having sex with someone who i'm in a long term committed relationship with. and i don't think it's wrong even if someone wants to be more sexually free - but then again, i'm also not religious. to each their own though. no judgements on anyone! i believe life's about being a good person.

[Asker]

@mangomilkshake I agree

[Jaysonava]

Yes. If your religion involves sacrificing baby goats for witch magic.

[Asker]

We must be respectful of all faiths...

[Dchrls78104]

Differing sets of beliefs, values, and principles have clashed and wrecked marital homes throughout human history.

[BoxySama]

I have disproven a lot of the crazy theories those right wing idiots throw at you

[Asker]

Thank you for your service.
We are the real conservatives. The groyper war continues!

[loveslongnails]

Absolutely. Certain religions are deal breakers for me, and for millions of others as well.

[oncpl]

I think NO, nor it should interfere with relations.

[GreenGold1992]

sometimes, depends on the religion and how seriously they take it

[moststrangestguy]

Girls care guys don't

[Asker]

Incredibly false statement.

[moststrangestguy]

You're not wrong but i believe you're probably smart enough that i dont meed to argue with you.. So I'll just say if you think about. It you will probably get my point good day sir

[Asker]

I'm just curious where you know all these conservative females that care about sexual deviancy because i'm yet to find any. Abroad or otherwise.

[Asker]

And i'm not even that religeous...

[moststrangestguy]

Religion was invented to make the masses build a community i short it was a device for post science and to teach everyone a better way of life and understanding it has hidden meaning and messages though out lessons of life so call can think the same way.. Girls don't really care about that kind of stuff the more like animals culture civilization is just a distraction from painting there nails and laughing with friends.. Its males that care more about. Religion but when it comes to a relationship girls will frett over him not believing the same god as her.. Guys we can convert because we care a tad less

[Asker]

Why do I end up agreeing with you? 🤣
You're totally right.

[moststrangestguy]

Am always right.. Its just my opinions are seen as morally wrong which makes people dislike and possibly cringe at what say because it does sound stupid but it's the truth