Would you give up all social media for your partner/SO?

Question

Investigator · Accepted Answer

"Social media ruins relationships everywhere, and the reason is quite obvious. Relationships begin to fall apart at that moment when communication ends. Obsession with social networks literally destroys communication between partners. Approximately every third divorce in the world is because of social media."

Gotta admit, that's some pretty sensationalist, hyperbolic alarm-ism right there.

"Relationships being to fall apart at that moment when communication ends."

Yeah, but that's been the case for literally all of human history and I'm not even being figurative about it. This article acts like this problem is a recent phenomenon and it's not; the only difference between then and now is the scope and the timescale, not the practicality. If the technology of today had existed 200 years ago, we'd have been in the same situation.

"Obsession with social networks literally destroys communication between partners."

No, it doesn't. Lack of openness destroys communication. Again, the social networks we have today are more technological and facilitate more expedient communication, but the kinds of problem modern people encounter didn't arise simply because you can hide all of your messages behind a lockscreen. Infidelity and affairs have existed since people were cognizant of their ability to do emotional harm, it's just easier because there's less setup and management involved. Everything is more automated now, that's the real difference.

"Approximately every third divorce in the world is because of social media."

The author was able to survey the entire human race--every country, ethnic demographic, region, cross-reference, analyze and adjust across ages, maturity differences, generational gaps, etc.--and conclusively state with higher-than-chance accuracy that "approximately" every third couple in the world gets divorced ONLY because of social media and for no other reason, were they? Press "F" to doubt.

Also, [citation needed].

As for myself, besides this and Reddit, I don't really use Facebook, Instagram or any of the major social media platforms. I've come to realize it's an enormous waste of time. Once you get past the "high" of attention via likes and replies, it kind of all just becomes white noise and it's not even persistent at that; if Twitter feuds and YouTube videos have taught me anything, the same crowd that claims to love you one second will tear you a new a**hole the next for the slightest transgression and I don't need that kind of drama in my life. Plus, a large part of social media is observing the daily life of people I barely know. Most people don't have more than like 4 or 5 close friends, so having a rolling list of 120... acquaintances, at some point, becomes meaningless. In that respect, quality > quantity.

tony1970 · Accepted Answer

Honestly i really can't believe this question really came up but yes look when something overtakes your life and you push aside the things that should matter there's definitely something wrong social media is like high school every one wants to be popular everyone wants to be liked why else would people share everything on them "i farted in the tub" lol press like do i really need to know this no its private let's get real in the end when the lights are out it's just you and that one person that you neglected because you've been placing your face into media 24/7 posting every little aspect of your life which is dangerous by the way let's say a major disaster what happened God forbid do you really think all those people that follow you that you follow that you don't know you will never ever meet I'm going to come save your life help you in your time of need no it's that person laying next to you sitting next to you laughing with you through the good times and the bad that you're neglecting of course the person is going to walk away because you're showing no signs of caring they put their heart and everything they are into you and all you care about is social media yes they're going to walk away so I would drop social media 100% for the person that loves me for real on the attic note one example Facebook was originally designed and made by Mark to judge and rape female college co-eds for dating bi males did you know this and I was used to collect data information for whoever pays the right price

lumos · Accepted Answer

First of all, that article sounds absolutely ridiculous and none of the statements seem credible at all. I'd like to know where they got their sources/statistics from.
Second of all, no, I would not give up social media for anyone. That would be dumb. A lot of my work consists of networking/getting in contact with other people. Without any form of social media, that would be incredibly difficult and I'd shut myself out of numerous job opportunities. Not to mention that I, as a freelancer, am currently getting a part of my income from instagram through selling products/commissions, and I'd be shooting myself in the leg if I flushed all that hard work down the drain just for a partner.

Social media is not the bad guy here. We're all perfectly capable of putting down our phones and interacting with friends/family/SO's. If you have an issue with doing that and your relationships are crumbling, then the problem is you. You and only you are in charge of your own actions. Blaming social media for any lack of communication in your relationships is lazy and cowardly, and people who do that lack the ability to self-reflect. If you're addicted to social media, I'm pretty sure that going to therapy is a much healthier option than just quitting it all and pretending your issues don't exist. Because that addiction will most definitely manifest itself in some other way if you don't approach it head-on.

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

I'm not super active on social media outside of here and don't post much about my personal life. In fact, at least 85% if not more of my social media is just cute pictures and videos of my pets or shared photos and videos of cute animals. I've kept in touch with some people on Messenger.

So, I don't think I'd need to, personally.

If my partner asked me to, I would think that was a very odd request, and it was likely he didn't trust me, which is a big issue.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

I barely use it now, so sure!

Not all of us are glued to social media, so if the right person came along, it wouldn't phase me. However, the same goes with him: if I'm not using it, he better not use it either.

coachTanthony · Answer

------------Social media is part of my business life so that would be a big fat NO.

sejla · Answer

Kind of hard because that's how I get notifications for concert tours.

shimmeryns · Answer

Yes without a doubt -- especially when I am married to him.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

It's very simple: either you use social media as a tool, or it makes a tool of you. That said, I think phones/ social media apps should be switched off during quality time spent with partner. But if I'm on my own time, and I wanna check in on one of my business groups on Facebook, then I see no harm. I came into social media reluctantly, right on the tail end of Myspace's supremacy. I adopted it, I wasn't born into it like the youth of today. So I think my disposition and upbringing tilt be towards being more responsible in how I use social media. I just don't need a lot of social approval and vanity points. I'd rather come to platforms like GaG or Reddit and get into deeper conversations about topics that actually interest me.

Peanut127 · Answer

It depends if abused or not. Bc yea, some use to advertise. Some use for medical illness support groups. Some use bc their family is located all over the map.

Personally? I only have family. Friends of fam or people with same disorder I do. :) G@G is little more risky lol great to learn things but some weird msgs now and then :p

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

No. Not because I can't live without it, I hardly ever use it and I'm only on one site, but because the second someone tells me something along the lines of "If you loved me, you'd do this for me" or "It's me or [literally anything], choose!" I'm gone. If their love relies on manipulation ("prove to me you love me by doing this"), or can be made into part of an ultimatum ("It's either me, or social media, pick one"), than I don't want their love.
If you have genuine concerns or problems with something I'm doing, please tell me and we'll talk about how to resolve the situation. But if you just come up to me one day and say something like "either you stop reading when I want us to hang out or I'm leaving" I'll wave as you walk out.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Tbh im thinking of reducing it and giving it up once i get out on my own. And maybe only come on a cpl of times a week. I found that being on social media too often is signs of loneliness and can lead to disorders of depression and needing companionship. So im thinking of joining a physical group of friends to hang with.

bente2 · Answer

Nah. I don’t believe social media is to blame, I think the lack of good communication is to blame. If someone’s constantly on social media, I wouldn’t want to be with them anyways. If they started using it a lot as we’re dating, I would just ask them to use it less or at other times. If they can’t do that we breakup.

l_michelle · Answer

Hell yes I would! It's fucking ridiculous that people are so worried about what all these people they don't even know are doing when there is a family right on front of their face everyday. I cannot stand Instagram/Instaslut either. Fuck social media!

marrk · Answer

He would never ask this of me, but if we did decide to do this, we would keep whatsapp so that we can communicate with each other and my family since the app is free across countries :)
I honestly would not miss social media and I think he would be ok too
We would just use my instax 🤗

VenusSweets · Answer

I would not give it up entirely since I use it to talk to my two best friends along with others, read comics, and look at art. Which usually takes 40 minutes of my day at most and this is not everyday. So if I decided I wanted a partner and they were bothered about it that much time the point of them wanting to leave then, sayonara :)

roland77 · Answer

The picture shows what sadly is often reality, I see those young couples each day I travel by public transportation. Sure, this doesn't mean something but it is a general feeling towards it.

And yes, I would give up my Online life towards real life. I did it before and she didn't appreciate it in me. My new girlfriend does however.

Unit1 · Answer

Very funny that you ask this question. I have no social media nor a girlfriend. Girls stop talking to me when they ask me for my instagram profile only so that i tell them that i don't have social media 🤔🤨😒😒😒

you know what Mrs. Brains over beauty? Just give me some cougars. These girls have some growing up to do 😆

maddog998 · Answer

Sadly I gave up my snapchat for my boyfriend and now everyday I'm losing my fucking mind, cause he is never home and im home trying to have a damn chat with my 2 year old daughter

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd say setting rules and boundaries for social media is the fair alternative but I agree with the article

ImagineSketchy · Answer

I wouldn't. Social media doesn't rule my life and it never will. Those that have to give it up can't disconnect from it at will. I have never found it difficult to just put it down.
I use social media for rather specific purposes though.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

since I rarely use it. and when I do pretty much only to check to see how family / friends are doing. or to let them know I am still alive. sure I could / would give it up

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Honestly screw social media. That is where the people you know reveal how much of a moron they really are. People say the dumbest shit and think they are the smartest in the world.

Aussie_Bobby · Answer

I totally agree with you on the question as from personal experience, I had a partner who when we meet she hated computers I taught her basic dos and early windows NT and how to rebuild and repair them , by the time we ended she was online up to 15 straight while I worked 12 hrs a day min and that and the world of Warcraft game to where it affected not just our relationship but out kids as well.
So yea I would drop all mobile and internet bring back snail mail and home phones

Trooper205 · Answer

I would! Of course! A Girl would BE my Social Media! She'd be my intake of everything I'd need to know!

John_Doesnt · Answer

That depends on how big her breasts are. I wouldn't give up my hobbies for a girl with small boobs.

SomeGUYonGAG · Answer

I already gave up most social media a long time ago, the only ones I use now is G@G and YouTube, and I limit my time on them. So I would (except YouTube), but if she wants me to give it up she has to too.

Lightning8 · Answer

I wouldn't really need social media if I had a partner. So if need be, yes.

beldath · Answer

It's only social media. Who cares. There are other ways to keep in contact with friends. The phone, or letters.

Anonymous · Answer

I have never done social media and never will. Its a killer if time, happiness and privacy. So nothing for me to give up. And I don't have a lot of respect for someone who spends a ton of time on social media.

hellacray · Answer

You know what I'd think about it once I have a s/o.  As of right now I ain't giving up nothing. Especially since I'm already barely active on social media.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I guess. I mean, if I had a relationship then I probably wouldn't be so bored and have so much time on my hands. So I could actually do real things instead of being on social media.

Dr_Spins · Answer

This sounds to me like the most romantic thing of all

datgirl · Answer

Probably not. I love insta, need to look at memes to make me laugh and look at positive motivational quotes to keep me going plus keep in contact with all my friends and family. I also love snapchat for its funny filters and need whatsapp to keep in touch with all my family members and friends far away

FLguitarist · Answer

Yeah sure. I quit FB in Highschool. This is the only other thing I use lol

lightbulb27 · Answer

Yes and I did. I dind't like it, but it's better without it. Social media is terrible drug...

Anonymous · Answer

No? That's controlling regardless of the reason.
I'll quit social media if I want to and that's it.
Also that study is ridiculous.
If you spend so much time on your phone that your relationship falls apart because you can't put it away for 1 second and communicate with your partner then you must have some kind of brain damage or something.

Liadon · Answer

Citation needed on that study. I'd do so if they gave me a good reason relevant to our own relationship.

MrOracle · Answer

My only social media use is for my business, and I don't even use that nearly enough.

MackToday · Answer

No problem there, I'm not on social media. I have no profiles anywhere on line with my real name or any personal information.

Avicenna · Answer

I was willing to for my last girlfriend. Not again.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don't use social media anyway except for facebook and even that I'm rarely on.

Massageman · Answer

Sure, if she  also  gave it up. I could last longer than she could, so, about 3-4 hours should do it!

Kurαȷ · Answer

No, I wouldn't. My usage of social media usage isn't really something my partner should ever be worried about, and if they are, their personal issues is what we would have to work on instead.

TonyMetal_1986 · Answer

Yeah without a second thought, becomes my future wife will always be my 1st priority, if i'm her life and her everything than no problem.

JimmyQ · Answer

I actually believe that you may be on to something.

AngelLily · Answer

I need some social Media like YouTube for music/therapy/research.

Amel2333 · Answer

I barely use social media anymore so i dont see a problem

Laozi · Answer

I don't use much of it. So there's no worries for my partner.

Razal · Answer

yes if its important for our relationship then yes.

ronaldo75 · Answer

HELL YES. I hate social media with a passion. If a woman I loved asked me to give it up I would sign off in a heartbeat

DiegoO · Answer

I only use 3. With 2 I am active, with the other not much. Even if I had a dozen of social media, I wouldn't.

Sixgun77 · Answer

Easily. This is the only one I use, and I pretty much just use it to practice debating and spotting fallacies.

TCredo · Answer

I could not for work - and frankly, if my SO brought this up as a deal breaking demand, it would be a sign of something really messed up thus likely the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Synikal · Answer

Yea.. don't see the significance of it anyways. Most cultures on social media are toxic. But also she would have to also.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

anything but facebook (which is the only social media I used to keep connected with all my family and friends)

rjroy3 · Answer

No, mostly because I'm not an idiot. It's kind of like asking "would you give up the internet for your partner?" from a social perspective.

Jack9949 · Answer

Yes. I’ve always hated social media its a pointless waste of time and its boring as fuck.

GabrielsMinds · Answer

No, and I don't even like social media. I just don't negotiate with terrorists.

loveslongnails · Answer

From a different point of view, I'm not ON social media, so there wouldn't be anything much to give up. I'm not sure you can understand that?>?

AdvNewks · Answer

I deleted my Facebook account 2 years ago and i don’t miss it. It’s basically a meme dump and a place to fear monger. I guess the only “social media” I participate in now is GaG.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah especially since social media is very toxic only see the best of people so feel bad because of comparison etc

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Of course I dont care about all that junk. I use it mostly for conducting family gatherings. However, in that capacity, I dont think she would ask me to, since I barely use it in the first place.

sidne3e · Answer

I already plan to give up social media if I'm serious about someone 👌

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