Is it true that men should NEVER date or marry a single mother because she is "DAMAGED GOODS"?

[Apope16]

Is it true that the child always comes first and a man will never be treated with the same attention, sex, and appreciation that single women without children can provide?

She is either single because she was the issue... or she is a single mom because the baby daddy was the issue... and if bsby daddy is the issue isn't a single mom too damaged by love to fully embrace a man in a relationship?

True. Single mothers are only hit it and quit it.

True. But I wouldn't even have sex with them. Your value as a man comes last in a single moms life. A single mother will never treat you with the attention and devotion you deserve.

False. Dating a single mother really is not much different than any woman.

Updates

+1 y

So far a majority of 56% of men think that single moms are "damaged" goods. Whereas, 100% of wishful thinking women reject this idea.

I think women should look at this harsh question and see the results and think about why women feel it is so hard to date single moms.

Updates

+1 y

I am shocked. 57% of mem polled believe single mothers are only for fuck buddy or have lost faith in being involved with them. 85% of women disagree with men. Why such a big difference here?

[Unit1]

Pretty much. Not only is raising someone else's child 2 decades of work and degrading yourself (by picking up someone else's liablity) but you didn't even get to ejaculate inside her for all that.

Single mothers and single fathers can date one another instead.

[Aaron_Stone]

I agree specially with last sentence.

[Unit1]

Oh look! A butthurt single mother downvoted me. Shouldn't she be cooking by now for her child?

[Aaron_Stone]

😅😆 Ignorance

[Unit1]

@Aaron_Stone Maybe she's jealous, that she screwed up for the sake of 5 minutes of irresponsibly having the risky type of fun.

[Unit1]

Thanks for the most helpful opinion!

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Unit1 why is taking the role of father of a child of the women or men that you love degrading?

[Unit1]

@ThisIsMyOpinion I don't like fixing others grand mistakes at my expenses.

Just look at all the hating pinks. Their failure is not my business.

[krisnado]

stfu that’s so rude “it’s degrading” “i didn’t even get to ejaculate” i’d be surprised if anyone would want to have sex with u at all

[Unit1]

@krisnado thanks for coming out. Blocked you.

[Unit1]

In other words according to the pink downvoters - HOW DARE MEN REJECT SINGLE MOTHERS? The female equivalent of the fake "nice guys", that are being nice until they're rejected.

Ahhh, the sweet patriarchy is choosing not to date (and finance) one.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Unit1 so a mother keeping her child after she divorces a cheating husband is a mistake? She should just give the child away or not dump the cheating spouse? Same for single fathers?

[Unit1]

@ThisIsMyOpinion I'm not telling single mothers what to do. I'm not going to date one because I am childfree.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Unit1 you don't want to date someone with kids, fair enough. But to call someone's decision to keep their kids a mistake and a liability is where I disagree with you.

[Moonchild714]

Who said anything about raising someone else's child or paying for their. Just because she's a single Mom doesn't mean No Daddy!!!

[Unit1]

@Moonchild714 This is a general tendency. Families form and disband. Most single mothers would expect their boyfriend to raise her (not his) child with her.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Unit1 if the boyfriend evolves into a serious long time partner he is part of her life and eventually her family like her kids do. So why should any single parent not expect that in the long run?
No one on the first date is like "Hey I need a mother for my kids can you meet them like tomorrow?"

[Unit1]

@ThisIsMyOpinion I know right? That's what I'm saying. Therefore I do not date single mothers.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Unit1 a single mother wants you to be a father for her kids one day. A women that is not a mother, will also want you to be the father of her kids someday. That is how long last relationships usually work.

Difference is you are not the biological parent of the child. Doesn't mean you can't be their father.

Again, you have every right to not want to date someone with kids. Sure! But the way some guys here talk about single parents, like they are not worth of love whatever, that is bullshit.

[Pete671]

I've dated single mums in the past and they never wanted to commit,

[Apope16]

That has been my exact scenario. I just had a breakup with a single mom. I was solid. Good job. Good with kids. I dont have a kid of my own. no prior relationship drama. I wasn't needy and blowing up her phone. I am sexy and confident in the dating seen. I am not a loser who can't get dates or has no other female options. I simply want to be a dad and I liked her.

She couldn't commit. As a matter of fact, she said at one point TWO GUYS proposed marriage to her and she didn't accept.

[Laura_Marx]

The only conclusion you're authorized to draw from this experience is that she couldn't commit to *you*... I'm not sure I would either :P

[MzAsh]

Maybe in their minds but what kind of man thinks that way to begin with? None that I would ever want to be with.

[Apope16]

As you can see in the poll... the majority of men think like this.

[MzAsh]

Unsurprisingly. Women don’t want the majority of average men. They want one really good one.

[Imsuperhotguy]

Why should a good guy put up with some other mans used up toys?

[MzAsh]

Why would a single mom put up with that kind of attitude?

[MzAsh]

Some men actually respect women who are moms.

[Imsuperhotguy]

That's why birth control was invented for a reason.

[MzAsh]

What about divorced couples who meant to have a baby?

[Imsuperhotguy]

Its the ex wife fault for not taking care of home responsibility.

[MzAsh]

@Imsuperhotguy Nope

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

@Apope16 men here think like this. This site has way to many butter guys.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Bitter*

[Aislin9]

@Imsuperhotguy I am not a single mom but if I ever knew any guy talked about single moms like that, I'd have nothing to do with them. Most women wouldn't. You're disgustingly hideous people.

[Thatsamazing]

Lol oh gal. You're blind to reality, I'm afraid.

[Thatsamazing]

@Imsuperhotguy Good question.

[Laura_Marx]

Its true that the kid will come first most of the time, I think, and this is right. But I dont know that a man should ask to come first even with a single woman. If I love her, I think, I don't care what she thinks about me. I give myself to her as a gift, unconditionally. I necessarily open myself up to heartbreak - if she rejects my gift, or if she does not reciprocate with her own. But thats the risk I'm willing to take to affirm love. I think many people approach love in the way you describe, where you begin to weigh up the pros and cons - this girl will appreciate me more, this girl has better career prospects... how many women here will say they could never date someone who is in debt, or who is unemployed, etc., and might get defensive and say 'I'm sorry but I have my future to think about...' This is surely the right way (at least the more rational way) to conduct ones life. As in the old days when an aristocrat married to secure a political alliance and satisfied his appetite with meaningless affairs... Marrying for love is a recent phenomenon, and perhaps the divorce rate should occasion suspicion of its viability. At this point we put ourselves in the same camp as those who defend arranged marriages. Your parents know whats best for the family when you're only 13 and after all it promotes social cohesion! The reason to affirm love is not that it is good for me. Its a catstrophe for me! Its terrible for my self-esteem, it distracts me from my personal goals, it introduces unnecessary problem after unnecessary problem into my life and will do so until I die. Rationally there's no reason to ever fall in love. But it doesn't work rationally- thats the trick... Love ambushes me, steers me from my cold rationality into the fiery abyss of passion. Yes, she might not love me, yes, she might not put me first, yes, she might not commit to me, yes, we might be incompatible- but I *hunger* for her, I spurn every good sense I have and stake everything on her. The greater the risk, the more stupid my choice, the greater loves poetry. Its a miracle that it ever works out, with any woman. But, it does. So I risk it all. Thats my pleasure, thats why I love - to risk it all.

[Thatsamazing]

Lol uh... so you really think the answer here is for guys to *knowingly* give everything THEY have to the chick, with the absolute guarantee that the same will not be afforded back to them? What reality are you from?

[Laura_Marx]

@Thatsamazing The answer to what? Love doesn't solve anything. I am not authorized to recommend it. But you may find yourself engaging in it - joyfully embracing its terrible risks... At least, it is necessary to understand this so that one does not ask (as so many here do) stupid questions: 'why can't I find a woman who makes me happy, like my peers?' etc., because one longs for love but goes on looking for it in transactional relationships, not understanding that love is overcoming this transactionality.

[Thatsamazing]

You completely avoided the question, but... that's nice, or something.

[Laura_Marx]

@Thatsamazing if your question was 'do you really think this is the answer', I'm telling you that what I'm talking about doesn't answer the question precisely because the question is mis-posed. ie., if the question is 'should you be with this kind of woman?', and then goes on to describe why she is less likely to love you adequately, the asker puts the cart before the horse. Love can be explained but not anticipated; it can not be weighed and balanced as one makes a financial decision. Without understanding the stakes you can't ask the right questions or approach love in the right way.

[Thatsamazing]

The question isn't mis-posed in the slightest. I understand what you're saying about opening yourself up to love, and that's great and all, and that relationships shouldn't be viewed as a transaction, and that's great and all, but you simply aren't being realistic.

[Laura_Marx]

@Thatsamazing I think you're missing the point I'm making - this isn't advice. Love is catastrophic and stupid. If anyone ever comes to you for advice about love you would in all cases tell them to reject it. Rationally, it never makes sense. What I am saying is that any attempt to render it in this way - saying, it would be unwise to date this sort of woman... You're saying something that will never be heard, not least by you yourself later when you fall in love again. Love operates on its own irrational libidinal economy. If you are to affirm love (instead of, say, marrying for wealth), you have to grapple with what this means. If affirming love isn't realistic - I think it isn't, its definitionally *unrealistic* - then you can approach other people with this transactional approach to relationships, but this has its own risks, ie., what happens if I fill out the whole tableaux of 'rules for life' impled by the question - don't date a woman with children, don't date a man with debt, etc... if I fully subject myself to this rationalization and fully suffocate my spontaneous libidinal intersubjectivity-- why not just go back to arranged economic marriages?

[Thatsamazing]

... And what I'm saying is the majority of guys aren't going to love or fall in love with a mom. Because it isn't realistic. People don't fall in love with people who they know they aren't also going to get that "I'm giving you everything I've got" mentality in return.

[Laura_Marx]

@Thatsamazing I think we simply disagree about how love works

[Thatsamazing]

Uh... sure sis.

[Sbgirl]

To be honest, I think single mothers and fathers should date each other. They understand the situation, and they both know kids are the priority. Also, the kids would be able to relate to one another. Maybe they should set up a dating site for this lol.
Also, this applies with men too. I wouldn't date a guy with a kid/s. That may sound harsh but I want my first child to be his first too. I also don't think I need to take on that responsibility when it's not my child. And to be honest, at my age, its just baggage I don't need.

Of course it is OK to date single parents, but anyone who does NEEDS to know that kids come first. If you think you should come before a person's kids, that's messed up. My parents split up as a child, due to my father's unfaithfulness. Does my mum deserve to be happy again? Absolutely. But does she need someone who understands that her children, no matter what age, come first? Yeah of course. Her partner has kids, but he's a deadbeat dad who has two kids with different women. He wants my mum all to himself and told her to stop even sending messages to me or speaking to me. In my opinion she needs someone who has had kids but also cares about them so is more understanding. My dad's girlfriend also had kids in her previous marriage; but I approve of that relationship more so because both her kids are from her ex-husband and she is an active parent.

Bottom line is, date who you want, but if its a single parent, you have to expect their child to come first, that's natural and healthy. But also remember that even if you should have your own child with someone, that child will still come first to your partner than you.

[shotsfired1]

nah this is a bad idea

kids from 2 different parents usually end up fighting
there are studies done on this

[Sbgirl]

@shotsfired1 Sometimes, yeah. But siblings fight a lot too. What I am saying is you need someone understanding of the fact that you have kids and they come first, and you are more likely to get that and feel the same way if you're a parent yourself, so it's not really a bad idea. And some people, myself included, don't want to date anyone with kids.

[shotsfired1]

nah

just don't date a single mother or father
the bible even says so

[Sbgirl]

@shotsfired1 It would be best if everyone stayed with one partner forever obviously. I intend to. But what about people like my mum which I used as an example? She deserves to find happiness and not be alone after she was cheated on. That wasn't her fault.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

The word I take issue with is "never". Thinking in such strict, absolute terms is a sign of close-minded thinking.

That said, I think there are valid concerns around dating single mothers, such as those you mentioned.

The trick, then, would be to somehow assess whether she loved you for you-- or if she loved the familial security that you symbolically represent in her mind. It's entirely possible she's just a good, honest woman who's ready to love again. But it could also be possible she's trying to find a "replacement dad". The other issue I hear come up with guys who date single mums... is that disciplining the kids can be difficult, coz the mum doesn't wanna relinquish that control. So in effect the man in that scenario is a father in name only-- he can't exercise the same rights the biological father can, so he's always gonna be one step behind. Then there's also the fear of the kids growing up without any sense of gratitude to their "new dad"-- and perhaps even openly disrespecting him in front of the mum, without consequence.

But I wouldn't be so imprudent as to just assume these possibilities as "undisputable facts". You should judge and act on a case-by-case basis. Being a single mother, in and of itself, is not some aberration of the human spirit. There are good women, and bad women, and some single mums are good women, and some single mums are bad women. The solution is to improve your observational skills, and not get too emotionally attached before you've had a chance to assess things objectively. I'd advise as such whether a woman has kids or not.

[xXSaturnXx]

Nope, personally I find that quite a dumb way to go about things.

Just because a woman has kids doesn't mean she's "damaged". If you consider her children 'picking up the slack' then you're a just a bad person and honestly you shouldn't be with her anyway because those kinds of things are TAUGHT and we don't need kids being raised with that outlook on women.

If I was a single mother I would definitely not want to be with somebody that considered me 'damaged goods' just because of my kid/s.

[xXSaturnXx]

@Thatsamazing Oh look it's a dumb pathetic male who thinks he's superior when in reality he's merely a gimp who lost his rubber suit.

[Mistnigqa808]

I didn't use to feel that way back then, but I do now 🤷‍♂️ because the more I talked to them, the more damaged I realized that some of them are. Like usually, they're complaining about how the dude wasn't shit and or bitter about something else altogether.

And another thing you have to worry about is this, is her baby daddy alive/a free man? If so, who's to say he can't and won't come back in the picture at any given time and take her from you? I mean if she's let him fuck and knock her up once, what's stopping it from happening again?

[Mistnigqa808]

I also got tired of hearing them talk about "how much they loved their kids. Like I know imma always come 2nd to them, but goddamn I dont wanna hear it thrown in my face 24/7 LOL HGAHAHAHAA

[sean1234]

unless she was raped then she is damaged goods. otherwise that woman already has a man... the man that gave her, her baby. one girl i knew was damaged goods even though she was raped, the dated a rapist TWICE that raped her TWICE thinking he changed after several years. the 1st time was worse, it was in school when 14 other girls got raped by the same guy and half the people in the school warned her. you see he couldn't be a rapist... he was too ''CUTE''. its stories like that, that makes me not care about still being single even at 37.

[sean1234]

oh yeah widows are ok to date and women who had evil husbands are technically ok to date by the KJV Bible

[Smoothing]

When you date any girl/woman, you have to bare in mind that this could be the start of a long term commited relationship that might be fruitful. It takes some time to work out where the relationship is going. If the girl/woman has kids, it should not be any different from if she doesn't have kids or not. The only thing you should think of, are these children going to impact your life and vise versa in a positive manner? Can you be a role model to them? Do you enjoy being a positive impact on children regardless of whether they are yours or not. Sometimes children can make you miss out on a wonderful person.

And who said everyone's soulmate must come without baggage?

[Anonymous]

False.
Some single mothers certainly are damaged goods. But there are countless reasons why a woman could end up a single mother, and so it isn't fair to write them off.

That said? If she isn't willing to consider having your kid, you shouldn't date her. It is unfair to expect you to be a provider and father to her child, while denying you the right to reproduce and pass on your own genes.
There are two exceptions to this. If she became sterile before you met her (you can't expect a woman who can't have kids to have your kid!) or if you were already a single father (you already have a kid, so don't worry about it).

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Here's the thing.

A single mom who is a widow then its fine if you want to be with her.

A single mom who got kocked up by a boyfriend or some dude from the club isn't the woman you want to be with.

Its humiliating to you as a man knowing you are with a woman who has to stay in contact with her ex while with you wheather you like it or not because they have a kid together.

[Mistnigqa808]

agreed lol

[AzureGirl]

A single mother could be single for millions of reasons. Someone shouldn’t judge based on the fact that she is one.

[AzureGirl]

Just replying to the most recent update: there are a lot of guys who will take a single mom at face value and assume the worst, as a lot of these answers are doing. Which again, circumstances are never the same for every single mother. They aren’t just opening their legs for anyone.

[Ámayas_20]

Well I'm a single mother and I've been with a man for a year now, he has no children of his own but doesn't care that I'm a single mother he understands that this does affect our relationship but not to the degree many men believe it does. I'm completely in love with him and devoted to him but, of course, my child comes first he's mature enough to understand this and actually says it makes him feel better about the possibility of use having kids in the future.

[Aislin9]

Asker of the question is clearly an immature, sexually frustrated misogynist. Have a look at his questions. He's not even worth responding to seriously.

[Apope16]

@Aislin9 ask a question doesn't mean that i agree with the question.

[Aislin9]

Then why do it?

[Ámayas_20]

@Apope16 I'm not saying you agree with everything you ask about but a quick scan through all of your replies on your comments and the mytakes you've written do hint you agree with the vast majority of them.

[Aislin9]

He's either a jerk troll or a misogynist, either way, he's a loser.

[Apope16]

Its click bait. I play devils advocate to generate debate. I personally am dating single women. I love kids and women. However, i believe that men should not be neglected in a relationship. Children are a priority but so is your partner. Nobody should sau "because I have kids my marriage with my husband isn't a priority." No. Both are a priority. That kind of respect toward a man should be in the courtship process. Both should prove they are marriage material.

[Aislin9]

@Apope16
I should hope you're dating single women. You sound like a manbaby needing attention. Children should always be first priority in any relationship.

[Ámayas_20]

@Apope16 No one thinks their partner shouldn't be a priority but you have said children shouldn't come first, which to most people is disgusting myself included, when with someone they should, of course, be your priority but not over your children. Children rely on you to live and you're completely responsible for them, you shouldn't have children if you don't take this extremely seriously.

I find it hard to see where you play the devils advocate here as you seem very biased in the opinion that single mothers are damaged goods, you say very openly they can't commit or give to a relationship properly, you say women who believe otherwise are wishful thinkers and the MHO's you've picked agree with this. You've also only replied to people insulting you or agreeing with this narrative and your replies are agreeing with them.

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 ... No, asker of the question is asking the question fairly. The majority of males feel either A or B. You not liking it doesn't make it untrue, or make anything wrong with the guy for asking the question.

[Aislin9]

@Thatsamazing Labeling someone as damaged goods just proves he's a piece of shit.

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 No, it doesn't, sorry, and you taking issue with merely posing the question, and seeing for yourself that huge numbers of guys feel this way, merely makes you ignorant and a fool for deciding to take it out on him for asking it the way he did.

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 Oh, and I suspect that this may be relevant for you, sadly... Blocking someone who disagrees with you means you're stupid. ↗

[Ámayas_20]

@Thatsamazing The majority of men on gag agreeing with something doesn't make it true, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but you should be respectful of other people no matter if you'd want to date them or not. I personally wouldn't date someone who'd been convicted of assult it doesn't mean I don't think these people are worthy humans that deserve respect.

[Aislin9]

@Thatsamazing There are huge number of loser males here MGTOW. They don't represent the general public. I don't block people that disagree with me, I block assholes like yourself. :)

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 Sorry, I didn't read-- have you perused this yet, since you missed it the first time? Blocking someone who disagrees with you means you're stupid. ↗

[Thatsamazing]

The majority of men on GaG agreeing on something is not a scientifically accurate sociological basis for saying their perspective is a fair representation of the general population, is what I think you mean to say. And I never said that it was. I said the majority of guys feel this way, even if we don't tell you-- and I assure you, we do. I wasn't relying on the results of this poll to support it. I'm simply telling you that it's so.

[Aislin9]

@Thatsamazing
I'll repeat it for you because clearly you can't read.

I block assholes like yourself, has nothing to do with disagreement.

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 But wait, there's more! Blocking someone who disagrees with you means you're stupid. ↗

[Ámayas_20]

@Thatsamazing You're always a dick to other people and you never present a decent argument, please just go away.

[Thatsamazing]

This isn't an argument.

[Aislin9]

No wonder why these guys can't get laid and have to use fake pics here. Your children are probably more mature than them.

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 You're still here? Blocking someone who disagrees with you means you're stupid. ↗

[Aislin9]

@Thatsamazing Okay immature fake pic boy, no one wants to know you.

[Thatsamazing]

@Aislin9 I can only assume you've stooped to emojis by now, since that's usually something idiots do. I'm not sure. But here, I brought you a present: Blocking someone who disagrees with you means you're stupid. ↗

[Ámayas_20]

@Thatsamazing Can you please just fuck off, honestly, you're the biggest troll going on here.

[Thatsamazing]

No one but the other chick is trolling, sis. I didn't have anything else to say as long as she shuts up, since she's a fucking moron. Spare me.

[shotsfired1]

you are a flight risk no man should ever date you

[Ámayas_20]

@shotsfired1 Thank you for your opinion, my boyfriend disagrees.

[Ámayas_20]

@Thatsamazing You're the one posting ignorant statements with no proof and ramming a post you made about your opinion down her throat just stop replying to her if you have nothing new to say. You troll on her 24/7 and I'd really prefer I didn't have to deal with the notifications of you doing so.

[CupcakeKiller]

I think it's just up to your preferences. When I was single I wouldn't date someone with kids. I got roped into it one time, it was short lived. I won't even date someone who wants kids someday. However I don't really think being incompatible means the other is damaged goods.

[Liam_Hayden]

Or she was faithful but was deceived and abandoned. Or she was faithful and widowed. I never assume to know someone's story.

[Apope16]

What if you know her story because she told you. Say it is either one of those things. Is it worth it to date her?

[Liam_Hayden]

She would not be auto-excluded like the never-married single welfare mom of three by three different guys.

[Anonymous]

No, single mums should never date/marry trash men who think single mums are "damaged Goods"

[Avicenna]

Although many single moms may have personal issues, the real issue is that there is another man's kid (s) who are getting her time and resources because they need it. It makes it much less likely that she'll have a kid with her new man and he will come last.
Raising kids is hard work. Raising someone else's is usually thankless.

[genericname85]

not for me. for me, it is because i don't wanna deal with other guys children. sexually and personally, there's nothing wrong with them in my opinion. just the child is a baggage, that i'm not willing to carry.

[Bandit74]

I would never date one, but I wouldn't say that no one should. Also even if people take issue with calling them damaged goods, I find it hard to believe that anyone would say there is not much difference between dating a single mom vs a woman with no kids.

[Anonymous]

That's not how I see it. I see it as any single woman who just happens to have a baby/kid. I mean if I don't date her, and the next guy doesn't and the next guy and so on, then who will? Is she supposed to stay single just because her previous relationship didn't work out for whatever reason?

[Thatsamazing]

And... why would that be your problem, again?

[Opinion Owner]

Why would what be my problem?

[Thatsamazing]

"then who will?"

[Opinion Owner]

Because I'm the one who's choosing whether or not to date her? I'm not saying I'm dating her out of sympathy, I'm just saying is she supposed to be single all her life because her previous relationship didn't work out?

[Thatsamazing]

Based on the way you phrased it, it certainly sounds like it's simply a matter of sympathy. And anyway, as I said, why would that be your problem, if she's single forever?

[Opinion Owner]

So who's problem is it? Hers for wanting a date?

[Thatsamazing]

Indeed, hers.

[Imsuperhotguy]

I would never date a single mom. That is like saying whole you by new shoes at the mall or Go to a Garage sale and by someone else used up trash same with bitch. I want a childless female a virgin not a tucked up used up garbage.

[JCT666]

Pretty much. Of course, there are different reasons why she may be a single mother such as being a widow.

However, most of them are single mothers due to irresponsibility, such as seeking hookups in a club toilet and then having pride over it. Hell, just watch the Maury Show.

No self-respecting man would allow himself to raise another man's offspring as well being with damaged goods.

[angeliquedevereux2]

Isn't it more irresponsible of the man who also agreed to having sex to leave her while she was pregant? And honestly not aborting the child shows even more responsibility...

[Anonymous]

Calling her damaged goods is really dehumanising and unfair. A lot of the times it's not her fault that the guy decided to run off as soon as he faced the responsibility of having a child. Sometimes they were married before and got a divorce for whatever reason.

[CozyNadia]

i don't know about that i guess it would have to depend on the reason why she was single in the first place.

[Imsuperhotguy]

If a female can't clean the house can't cook no good sex can't iron or wash clothes then all the reason I point out is the reason she is single.

[Anonymous]

dating a single or single father is stupid

THEY ARE A RISK

[Opinion Owner]

mother

[Apope16]

Why do you think they are a risk?

[Opinion Owner]

this is why

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hUQ53Oxu7s

[Opinion Owner]

remember MEN AND WOMEN DIE FOR THIS

[luvstoned4him]

All my guy friends told me this. I wonder what they see

[Moonchild714]

The fact you believe there is only TWO ways a Woman is a Single Mom is PATHETIC & Shows you have NO LIFE Experience!!!

[Apope16]

You dont know what i believe. I have not stated my beliefs yet

[Moonchild714]

Really? Only two options...

[lauraa9963]

So what a single mom should always stay lonely

[Aaron_Stone]

Find single fathers

[Aaron_Stone]

who also needs love for him and his children.

[Apope16]

Yes. Because almost every single mother is so drained by the focus of her child that she will never have the capacity to fully invest in and love a man with the full emotional depth that he needs. The child will come first before the relationship.

The whole point of marriage and being in a relationship before having the child is so that you can have the emotional foundation of putting each other first. But too many women are having sex and having a child with guys they dont know that well. Then when they go out in the dating world a man will feel neglected and unloved. The woman won't have sex with the guy when sex to a man is a representation and validation of love and care.

So no. If you are a single mom you MIGHT have a shot with a single father. But a single mom can never love a single man the way he truly needs to be loved. time. respect. priority. So it is best to be upfront and say you are a single mom and want friends with benefits. not a relationship. A single mom will break a man's heart.

[lauraa9963]

Meh I don't know thats quite harsh what if a woman gets a kid with a guy and he turns abusive? Then she has the right to find someone she loves and not be alone and miserable forever. Same goes for single dads.

[Aaron_Stone]

So you are saying there might be some bad single father so women shouldn't seek single fathers.
It's like saying all women are bad because I met one bad woman.🤦‍♂
Why women want men to have relationship with single mothers if they can't have relationship with single fathers.
That's no different than what men have stated here.

[lauraa9963]

To who u talking to the dude or to me cuz he's the one bashing single moms lol not me

[Aaron_Stone]

Why should men marry single mother's if they aren't getting love they deserve and are just second choice after the children.
Or in other words Married to women only as provider.

[lauraa9963]

Still didn't get an answer so im just assuming u talking to him lol

[Aaron_Stone]

I'm talking to you

[Aaron_Stone]

You questioned it's harsh cause what if she finds bad single father.

[lauraa9963]

I think this is mentally retarted but okay. Why are u to tell a single woman with a kid to never have a man anymore what is that for bullshit?😂😂

[lauraa9963]

Who**

[lauraa9963]

I think men are grown enough to decide for themselves if they wanna be with a woman who has kids. Real man dont care.

[lauraa9963]

If u dont like that thats fine but u can't just speak for everyone😂😂😂

[Aaron_Stone]

🤦‍♂Are you retarded? did you even understand what I said?
I said single mothers should marry single fathers.

[Aaron_Stone]

I even wrote Your sentence to which I replied.

[Apope16]

I think it is goofy to think that all single women in the world are single because their men were cheaters or emotionally abusive. I doubt that.

Maybe women a single mothers because they had bad relationship skills and thought that they could lock down their man by having a kid with them?

Maybe, they just had a normal breakup where both people lost interest?

Or maybe, as is some cases of people I know, they had a one night stand with a man and used it to have a child. Maybe the guy didn't know, maybe he did. But the turned lives upside down by having sex for fun and turning it into a serious thing. Some guys dating a girl for a couple months is having sex because he likes her and it feels good. its for fun. a woman will take that and then completely fuck up the guys life for her own selfish reasons. then she will blame the guy for leaving.

[lauraa9963]

Well aaron I don't know why hurt u today but u seem very angry😂😂😂

[lauraa9963]

Who*

[Imsuperhotguy]

Her fault why get involve in a relationship unhealthy. Sye should have used protection to aviod a mistake

[lauraa9963]

So its her fault but its totally find that those douche bags of guys always just leave and live there happy life pretending they did nothing wrong?😂😂😂😂😂 kinda selfish right

[lauraa9963]

Their**

[Anonymous]

I *might* hook up or have something casual with one, but I don't want a second hand family. It's not that I'm even shaming them for anything, I just really don't want it. I think many women mistake the majority of guys feels the same as guys harshly shaming single mums, but no, they just have no interest in being with you because of your situation. Not the same thing. If you *feel* ashamed because your single motherhood has made you less attractive then that's your problem.

[Anonymous]

Date there's nothing wrong. But marry? Be very, very careful. And the more kids she has from multiple men should be your tipoff. Anyone can make a srupid mistake. But when you continue to make the same mistake without learning from it makes you a srupid person. Don't let these women latch on and drag you down.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn’t agree with any.

that said I definitely understand why someone without kids would be very hesitant to get into a relationship with someone with kids. I have kids and I love them like crazy. But kids are a big damn deal.

[TacosRAwesome]

Personal opinion... 95% of the population past age 10 is damaged in some form or another.

[beebsfeebs]

So... that's why we should date kids less than 10 years old?

[TacosRAwesome]

@beebsfeebs of course not.

[Anonymous]

Well of course the child will always come first. It’s her child, someone she has to provide for, care for and raise. The child’s needs will always be put first.

[Opinion Owner]

That doesn’t make her damaged goods, it makes her sensible and if a grown man can’t understand why a child’s needs are more important than his sexual needs... then she is not the problem, he is 🤷🏻‍♀️

[David_Kek]

Widow aside, there's no such thing as a sensible single mother.
Call it whatever you want, a partner that puts their children before you is a bad investment, that only an idiot would take.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes there is and I’m sorry but if a grown man can’t understand how a child’s needs are more important than his own then I don't know what to tell ya. Nobody ever comes before your own child.

[Opinion Owner]

The fact that it has to be explained is concerning lmao

[David_Kek]

And that is the mentality is of a bad partner and parent (in the context of having children within a relationship).

You partner should always come before you children, assuming they're your partners children too. It's partners and parents with that mentality, who last the longest and produce the most well adjusted children. You ask any couple in their 80s who are still in love with each other how they did it, and why their children succeeded in life too and never forgot to call, and they will tell you the exact same thing.
If you love your children, you put your partner/their other parent first, because you're not going to be doing your children any favours if their parents end up cheating on each other and/or getting divorced at some point in the future.

Putting it simply, if you're a single mother, then you're fucked, and your children have got one of the worst starts in life, which is just slightly less worse than if said single mother remarried.

[Opinion Owner]

That isn’t at all true. My mother raised me and my brother without a father and we have both had the most amazing up bringing. She provided us with everything we needed, we both got an education, I now have a job. We’re both happy and thankful for the upbringing we had because it was amazing. So do not speak on behalf of other people.

[Opinion Owner]

My friend was raised by a single mother and she had a very good and happy childhood and she is also successful in her adult years. Were you raised by a single mother?

[Opinion Owner]

I mean getting to go on yearly holidays to Florida and New York, having a full time education, living in a nice sized house with pets, having friends and being able to join dance clubs and sports clubs and live a happy childhood doesn’t seem like a bad start in life for me lmfao but whatever

[Opinion Owner]

Should I also mention the gifts she spoilt us with every Christmas and birthday? iPads and iPhones, such a horrible up bringing 😣😣

[David_Kek]

Ok, anonymous opinion owner, here's a tip that might help you in the future; anyone that describes their upbringing as "amazing", are lying to themselves.
People that actually where raised properly, guys like Arnold Schwarzenegger that gained incredible success in life out nothing other than their own rock solid values; not a single one of them idealise their upbringing; they accept the good parts and the bad parts that inevitably come.

[David_Kek]

I will tell you this right now for your own good, unless you completely reinvent yourself, then you're not gonna win the game of life. With the attitude you have, you are not wifey material, hence you're no good as a mother either.
Your mother failed you, by trying to buy your love, she forget to actually do her job and give you the skills you need to function as an adult. Spoilt children create entitled adults. You are damaged goods.

[AlphaGhost]

I have parents that can support me in my Medical college fees and we are above average with respect to income/property BUT still I worked my way through college. They were trying to teach me harsh reality of cold society and its unfairness but now I am going to pass Medical college with zero loan... that's like ultra-rare.
I had everything growing up like and received best education but when it was time to slap me to reality they did allowed me to suffer. I would try to emphasize on FATHER cuz they are very important part of anybody life and they are basic necessity of kids life otherwise schools and colleges are filled with "dysfunctional pathetic beta males"... that call themselves nice guys.
They are like mess with huge emotional baggage train and wonder why would anyone pick up successful, motivated and confident/Alpha male over them cuz in their mind they can understand woman emotions better than us... they do cuz are raised like a woman BUT majority of woman want a man in their life someone to take lead when necessary and steer them out of emotional mess.

[Imsuperhotguy]

Maybe if u young females knew how to cook clean a takecare of house duties the guy wouldn't divorce u.

[Opinion Owner]

I am a functioning adult thank you dear. I went to school and college and I’m now working as a full time carer. My mum didn’t buy my love at all, but you go ahead and assume that all you want. Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me because it’s a pile of incredibly inaccurate shit. I’m an independent, functioning and working adult and that is all thanks to my mother for raising me to be the person I am today. The fact that my mother bought me nice gifts does not mean that she bought my love, do you tell that to every child who’s parents bought them expensive gifts? And do I care if some stranger on the internet finds me wifey material? Absolutely not. My boyfriend sure as hell got a kick out of your petty little comments as well. You are in absolutely no position to tell someone you don’t even know if they will be a good mother or not. Do you want me to be miserable about my upbringing or something? Why should I when I’m completely happy with my childhood and the memories I have of it. You’re absolutely delusional. Because believe it or not sweetness, children of single parents can have happy childhoods. And I’m not going to let some idiot stranger on the internet try and delude me into thinking my childhood was bad when he has absolutely no idea. YOU do not get to tell me if my childhood was bad or not.

[Opinion Owner]

@Imsuperhotguy clearly you’ve only commented because you’re looking for an argument. Typical of your breed. Trash.

[Opinion Owner]

Just because you didn’t have an amazing up bringing doesn’t mean others didn’t. Because I loved my childhood and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I’m completely happy and content with it.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m happy, I’m working my dream job, I’m getting paid, I have a loving boyfriend, I have tons of hobbies on the side, I’m travelling the world with my family and friends. But sure, I’m damaged goods 😂😫😂

[Imsuperhotguy]

Single mother r trash. Next time keep legs close and stop being horney

[Opinion Owner]

@Imsuperhotguy seriously dude, if you’re looking for an argument then go look somewhere else because you’re not getting it here 😂

[Imsuperhotguy]

Truth hurts seriously no man wants ti date someone else used up toy.

[Opinion Owner]

@imsuperhltguy are you able to read what I have said? if you are looking for an argument or for me to bite back then you are wasting your time. So I’m not sure why you’re still commenting.

[Imsuperhotguy]

Im going to annoyed u. U hoes want older man to by u shit.

[Opinion Owner]

@imsuperhotguy Oh of course we do 🤪🤪🤪

[Imsuperhotguy]

Golddigger whore

[Opinion Owner]

That’s so sweet of you, I’m actually blushing awh, you’ve made me smile ☺️

[David_Kek]

That's the difference, I never once said happy childhood, I said well adjusted and ready to handle life as an adult. I've known enough people to know the attitude of those that do have it together, and those that don't.
I have no doubt whatsoever you're "independent", equally as much as I have no doubt your boyfriend would tell you what you want to hear, because yes men are the only people the entitled can handle.
And of course, "boyfriend", as opposed to husband or fiancée, either because he deep down knows you're no good, or he's not a guy you'd settle down for anyway because he's not good enough.
In either case, my point stands.

[AlphaGhost]

I think its second time you have tried to rub your some low ass job achievement on our face... I will like to ask you about it.
How much do you make?
hann tell me which low ass job you are doing right now that will compete with my Doc earnings next year and I would like you to remind your actual place in the end and your material worth. I would love to find out which Job pays you minimum avg of 237k/year and then it easily doubles next year.
I passed the high school with good grades (90%) then I have to deal with MCAT (scored 92%) and finally got admission in prestigious institution... that alone puts me in top 2% in entire world
So like it or not I achieved far more than you could do in 7 lifetimes and now I have to sit here and listen to your flexing about doing some low ass job and talking to us like we are nothing,
Darling you are far below me in rating and you are there cuz of your POOR UPBRINGING by your MoM cuz you can't expect Oil to put out a fire and just like that Single parent to raise good child.

If you really believe that having some low end Job, independent and so called boyfriend make you a successful person in life then your Standards are very very very low and I can understand why you consider yourself to be successful BUT these things are very basic necessities of life like O2, food and water.
That puts in bottom of success chain not average or above anything right in the bottom and the fact that you are Happy with it speaks volumes about your upbringing like you are FLEXING like you invented some BroadSpectrum Anti-Viral drug or invented Quantum computers but in reality barely cutting it for your own good.
Upgrade your standards and grow up woman... you were suffering from exactly which we were pointing out you will suffer FROM without Father figure,
Determination, goals, dreams and no woman will teach you them better than male... some females that have achieved them have fathers to help them in journey.

[Opinion Owner]

I honestly don’t care what job you work, it’s my life. Not yours, so why are you so concerned? At the end of the day I am happy with my life and my job and the amount I’m being paid, it’s enough money for me to live comfortably and treat myself to things here and there. Do I care about your job or how much you earn? Absolutely not my dear. I am happy with my life, I am financially stable and I’m enjoying life. I’m proud of my achievements and I’m working hard towards my future goals at my own pace. Your opinions are both irrelevant to me, so if you think that I care about what some random ass men have to say about my life then you’re sadly mistaken my lovelies 😌.

[Opinion Owner]

Why is the fact that I am happy with my life so offensive to you both?

[Opinion Owner]

So gentlemen, it has been lovely chatting to you but unfortunately I’m no longer interested in conversing with either of you. But I will leave you with this, both of your opinions have had no affect on me nor how I view myself, my past or my future. I’m a incredibly happy person with a lot of love for myself and others, I have high hopes for my future and I sleep well at night know that my goals for myself are falling into place. I also sleep well at night knowing that for whatever reason, my outlook on my own life deeply offends two over grown men children somewhere on the planet. But honestly, I know that deep down your both unhappy with your own lives that you’re trying to project that onto people who are happy with their lives. Which is sad actually. So I hope you both eventually learn to accept that everyone is different and I hope you both learn to appreciate what you have and maybe then you’ll live happier lives. So anyway, I have said all that I needed to say so I bid you farewell and I will no longer be reading or responding to your replies. Good day 😌.

[Celtero]

"Damaged goods" is a bit blunt... I think it's better to date childless women...

Women with multiple children from different fathers, now that's a red flag.

[Iron_Man]

I would not marry a single mother unless I was old and her kids were old and moved out. The kid rules and the new husband plays the third wheel 7 days a week then I'm paying for that kid as well when I want my own kids

[janasam]

If you do so, then you are the strongest man on earth and lovable guy with a super duper lovable heart. I appreciate the guys who give support to such single mothers and let them live a common life. Thank you.

[existential_laments]

Imagine being so insensitive that you refer to other human beings as "damaged goods" I despise that term. It makes me feel like people who say such things only view others as a disposable quick fix more than a person.

[collegestudent96]

The only difference is she has children which are a priority before you

[Apope16]

They both should be a priority

[collegestudent96]

The child (ren) came first not the partner

[Anonymous]

She isn’t “damaged”... she just has baggage and there is a lot of added bullshit you dont need.

[Imsuperhotguy]

R u serious that is like saying I want used up tennis shoes from a garage sale rather then going to and by new tennis shoes from the mall new.

[Opinion Owner]

@Imsuperhotguy I never said that at all.
She isn’t “damaged”... but I never said she was worth dating.

[Imsuperhotguy]

Yes the bitch with bastards is damaged goods.

[Thatsamazing]

I'm... not quite sure what the difference between the two is. You're splitting hairs.

[Thatsamazing]

@Imsuperhotguy Basically.

[Succubus-slayer65]

She would have to be a very special girl. You got to look at what you would get out of such a relationship and ask what happened that she's a single mother

[Thatsamazing]

If she's a mom, she's no longer a girl. She's a female.

[Succubus-slayer65]

@Thatsamazing if only that were true.

[Thatsamazing]

Indeed, it is. No "if only" required.

[beebsfeebs]

To all men: Don't waste your life raising someone's else's mistakes

[Lunatic1]

I think it depends on the circumstances of how she became a single mom. Many I knew were possibly datable but life tended to get in the way of trying from both sides.

[allin3]

No but luckily for the women any man who thinks this way isn't man enough to date anyway.

[jakey97]

I don't see the problem. If you like her, you can and should date her. Sure it's different because she's having a child, but often it is not her fault she's a single mom.

[Dchrls78104]

I respect single moms but I would not date one. I once wrote a myTake on the subject.

[MountAverage]

Nah, that's stupid absolutism.

[Apope16]

Your thoughts on absolutism are so muddled in they grey fear of generality that they give morality no definition, right no form of wrong, virtue no limit of exceptions.

[MountAverage]

lol okay? What are my thoughts of absoutism? Please enlighten me.

I was reffering to the "never" in the question. That IS stupid absolutism. Because it suggests that all single mothers are the same. If that's your way of thinking, I know exactly what kind of intellectual cripple you are. :D

[Numbnuts89]

No

But, it'll be tricky, as the father will likely be involved at some point during the kids life, I GUARAN FUCKING TEE IT

[padreflint]

I've dated single mothers before, it's not that bad. It can be troublesome trying to fit into the dynamic but it's okay.

[Anonymous]

The problem with single moms is that they are in contact with the father, they are hoping that he will change and be a man and reconnect with them.

[Anonymous]

D. It depends on how and why she became a single mother.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Totally false. She can love her kid and you too.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Having kids is much more important to women from a much earlier age. Most men don’t get into the whole fatherhood thing till they’re like around thirty.

@Apope16 do you agree?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Again, not all men feel like this, and plenty of women wait till they’re at least thirty to have kids (I’m one of them), but the IDEA of kids is more important from a younger age.

[Aislin9]

Who hurt you?

[shotsfired1]

yeah typical response ( who hurt you )

[ecfresh]

Not true

[Thatsamazing]

True. B is the best answer of the three available.

[hellacray]

Well that's the rule I'm following.

[Gedaria]

When you get older they are all single mum's...

[Asianguy123]

Because she used to be a prostitute

[Asianguy123]

I mean she is a prostitute

[NewZion]

Hehehehehehe

[Dinosaursandanime65]

It doesn't matter

[BillysBabe]

Wow...