Boyfriend’s mom talks badly about me?

[Anonymous]

Last week, my boyfriend and I were out back in the yard reorganizing a shed to be able to fit his mom’s outdoor chairs. These chairs were sitting on top of some very long grass, I figured it would be a good idea to fit it into the shed temporarily so he could mow the grass. As we finished up, his brother comes home and begins to plant flowers around there lamp post they have in their front yard.

They were having a conversation, and once I walked up and stood next to my boyfriend his brother began to have an attitude. I could just notice the difference with how his facial expression changed and his tone of voice. He asked my boyfriend a question (but I thought it was just to us) and I unintentionally responded. I figured since I knew the response to that question, and he looked back and forth between me and my boyfriend that it would be okay (well I was wrong). His brother immediately looks at him and says “tell your girlfriend to calm down” so I only responded with “no” and really trying to not say something else to make the situation worse.

While this is happening his brother was also FaceTiming their mom. Well long story short, his brother has been telling his mom how I’m always rude to him and then she brought up how I’m just rude in general. Their mom ended up texting my boyfriend saying how rude I am to his brothers also saying and I quote “... you need to control your girls mouth or she’s not stepping foot in my house.” However, every interaction I’ve had with anyone of his family members I have been nice, polite, and have even tried to lend a helping hand whenever possible. The times I do come over she has never bothered to say hello to me even if she does see me. I’ve always had to say hello to her.

Their mom watch the camera footage and realized I didn’t really do anything, but never apologized or anything. So I just don’t understand, I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with his mom and brothers. I genuinely don’t know what how to move forward.

[Haynbaby808]

That's boyfriend fault for not stepping up for you so that automatically assumes he's talking badly to his family. And he's probably putting blame on you for him not doing his responsibilities in life he should be taking care of. He sounds like he's handling anything so they blame you for whatever he's not doing right in their eyes, so hence, he's just going along with it to take the heat off him. NOT YOU AT ALL. PASSIVE PERSONALITY.

[Asker]

Actually he does stand up for me towards his family members. The more I’m around his brother and his mom the more I see that his mom automatically believes his brothers even if he’s lying or being extremely dramatic about the situation... like his brother is the “golden child” if that makes sense? I’ve seen him stand up for himself also and it’s like a lose-lose battle with his mom and brother. I feel like they think of him as a little boy who still needs to grow up, instead of seeing him for what he really is, which would be a young man who had learned a lot and is still continuing to learn.

[Haynbaby808]

Oh I see so your brother has to live in his brothers shadow. Thats tough. The brother uses that to his ability with his mom. Especially if he is the oldest he'll never change and stay that way just because of everything he can get his way you know. You keep being you and if you both agree and talk about this. He can put his foot down with his family and tell them how much he loves ypu and won't cone around if you keep getting disrespected. You got this girl keep being you and stay positive. Things will change or they won't you keep being you know matter what!! ❤❤❤❤ you're self aware and so is your boyfriend. Forget the brother and most mom's don't apologize anyways if their children are involved she sounds like a naive mother who also enables the brothers behavior. It's up to the mom not the brother anywaus. You keep being nice to her and keep shining your light she will get it!!!

[Asker]

Thank you! I really needed to hear that. That entire situation was little, but the comments made really have been stuck in my head and my boyfriend knows. It’s gotten to the point where he would mention his family and my mood will completely change. I don’t want to be like that, but my feelings were also hurt too. Anyway haha thank you so much for responding and for your positivity! It really helped!!❤️❤️

[Haynbaby808]

You're welcome and he know's it hurts you. Just keep being you and beautiful. The mom will get it faster than the brother just give the mom time she will come around. Thank you

[Haynbaby808]

Hey beautiful!! Any luck lately? I hope things have gotten better, somewhat I hope!

[Haynbaby808]

Thank you for mho also 😘